Haunted: the Life and Times of Regulus Black
by Jenna822
Summary: *Novel* Regulus Arcturus Black 1961 - 1979. The agonizing tale of the final three years of his life. What caused the young Death Eater to turn away from his path? What could make a person betray Lord Voldemort? Canon compliant. Includes M/M Cᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ.
1. The Hole in the Tapestry

**Chapter 1: The Hole in the Tapestry**

**.**

Regulus Black sat on the edge of a large bed that was draped in red and gold blankets. The walls around him were decked in large banners of the same colors, all showing fierce lions or the words _Gryffindor_ _Pride_. There were pin-ups of Muggle motorcycles and half clothed women all around. Photos of the same four laughing boys were scattered about in frames or stuck to the walls.

"So, this was your brother's room?" a male voice asked from the open doorway.

Regulus nodded and looked down into his hands where he held a small, framed photo that was covered in dust so thick the picture could not be seen. He rubbed his thumb across the glass to reveal a photo of two young boys; one was slightly taller than the other. The boys both had the same jet black, messy hair, the same light grey eyes and an identical crooked smile. The taller boy had his arm around the other and kept reaching over, prodding him in the side to force a smile. The shorter boy kept swatting at his hand and scowling at him. Once the shorter consented to the smile, the image began to replay itself.

"You two look so happy," the voice said, now standing before Regulus.

"We were. This was taken right after Sirius got his letter to Hogwarts. He was so excited." Regulus sighed and dragged his hand back through his hair. "If you ask me, that was when all the trouble started. If he'd just been a Slytherin like the rest of us -"

"You aren't actually trying to blame your brother for what's happening, are you?"

"No," Regulus snapped quickly and rubbed roughly at his face. "I'm not blaming him. I've accepted responsibility. I just..." He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down on it.

"You just miss him."

Regulus nodded. "I do. I just wish I could see him, talk to him... I wish I could tell him that I'm not that same idiot boy that I was before. I wish that I could tell him that I'm sorry."

"You go through with your plan and that'll be how you say you're sorry. It'll be how you say you're sorry to everyone that you've hurt."

Regulus looked up with no hesitation and met the eyes of the person in front of him. "Is it how I can say I'm sorry to you?" he whispered

"You've already said you're sorry to me and I've already forgiven you."

"How could you?" Regulus breathed out, his face twisted in distress. "How could you ever forgive me for what I did to you?"

"I can forgive you because I love you."

Regulus pressed his lips together tightly and looked back down at the photo in his hands. He took a deep breath to fight back the tears he could feel stinging his eyes. He put his right index finger over Sirius' face in the photo, then turned it over and looked down at the scar marring the tip of his finger.

"I got this scar the day that he left," Regulus mused. "It was three years ago, but sometimes...sometimes it feels like it just happened." The boy licked over his cracked lips and looked up at the person standing before him. "I should have gone. I should have packed my trunk and gone with him when he asked." He let out a long breath and pondered on the day in question. "I should have gone."

**.**

****Three Years Earlier****

**.**

Regulus stood in the doorway of his brother's room and watched as Sirius wildly threw clothes into his school trunk. "You can't just leave, you aren't of age. They'll just bring you home," the younger of the boy's pointed out.

Sirius slammed his trunk closed and gave an indignant snort. He tore across the room and stared down at his younger brother. "This place," he growled, waving his hands around to indicate he meant the house, "is not my home. I don't belong here, I never belonged here; I never will. I have to get away from those _people_."

"Those _people_ are your parents. They're your family," Regulus spat.

Sirius shook his head and rubbed his fingers over his eyes. "They're only my parents by blood; it doesn't change _anything_. You see how I'm treated, Regulus, you see it everyday. You can't pretend like you don't know they hate me just as much as I hate them." He spun around and grabbed onto the handle of his trunk, then heaved it onto the floor.

"So you're just gonna leave?" Regulus asked, amazed at his brother's brash actions. "You're gonna take off...to where? Where do you have to go? You're only sixteen!"

"I'll go to James' house, just like over the holidays." The older boy pushed his brother from the doorway and dragged his trunk towards the staircase.

Regulus grabbed the other boy's arm, forcing Sirius to turn towards him. "What am I supposed to tell mum and dad when they get home? They're gonna lose it."

Sirius' body tensed for a moment, a temperamental outburst verging on release. He met his younger brother's eyes and took a slow breath before allowing a smirk to crawl across his lips. "Don't tell them anything. You can come with me." He dropped his trunk and grabbed onto Regulus' shoulders, eagerly steering the smaller boy towards his bedroom. "You can stay at James' house too. I'm sure it'll be okay, his parents are wonderful, they'll understand. I just know they will." He pushed open Regulus' door and forced the boy inside. "Come on, you're better than this. You're smarter than all this, you can come with me. Get your stuff!"

Regulus twisted away from his brother and took a step back from him. He eyed the older boy with a mix of shock and concern. "I'm not going anywhere," he hissed, taking another step back. "I happen to like it here, just fine. If anyone needs to be smarter, it's you. Just...just put this leaving rubbish out of your brain and go unpack your trunk."

A rumble built in Sirius' chest and an animalistic growl seeped past the boy's lips. "All of this is bullshit, Regulus. This whole family and their ideas...this..._toujours_ _pur_ crap, it's all wrong." He pointed dramatically at the large Black family crest that lay painted on the younger boy's wall and shook his head. "We aren't better than anyone else."

"Maybe you aren't," Regulus snorted as he pressed his hands into his brother's chest and attempted to be rid of the boy. "You're nothing more than a lousy blood traitor," he continued. "You're a disgrace to this family and you don't deserve the name Black."

"Can you even hear yourself?" Sirius cried out, a manic laugh teetering on the edge of his voice. "You're just repeating the same nonsense that you hear our mother scream at me all the time. Do you have a single thought of your own up here?" he laughed, rapping his finger on the side of his brother's head. "Or is that not allowed?"

Regulus gave his brother a harsh shove, knocking the boy back into the wall behind him. "Those are _my_ thoughts, you jerk!" He scowled at his older brother and shoved him again. "Just because I have the same thoughts as our parents that doesn't mean they aren't my own. I just have enough sense to know what they tell us is true." He shook his head and narrowed his eyes at the older boy. "You don't have to leave. You can stop all this acting out and just start living a proper w-"

"Shut up!" Sirius shouted as he pushed his brother out of his way and stepped around him. "You are completely brainwashed," he muttered under his breath. "You can't actually believe all this, can you?"

"I do! I believe it because it's true!"

"Then you're an idiot just like the rest of them!" Sirius snapped up his trunk and began a noisy descent down the staircase.

Regulus rushed to the top of the stairs and stared down at his brother as the boy pulled open the door. "Sirius, you can't leave!" he cried out; the pleading undertone to the boy's words fell upon deaf ears as his brother was far too angry to care.

"Watch me!" Sirius called out. The older boy winced under the effort of lifting his trunk over the bottom of the door frame. He threw a glance back up the stairs and for a moment, identical grey eyes held each other. A flicker of hesitation moved across Sirius' gaze before he ducked his head and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

Regulus shouted a string of profanities at the spot where Sirius had been standing and leaned back against the wall. His hands clenched into fists; his nails dug into his palms so hard they almost broke the skin. A movement in the corner of his eye caught Regulus' attention and he released his hands. He glanced down and gave a weak smile to Kreacher, the Black family house-elf.

"Master Regulus did not want his brother to leave," Kreacher dared quietly, looking up at the boy.

"No, I didn't." Regulus turned away from the Elf and pushed down the hallway until he was back in his bedroom. His eyes momentarily fell over the Black family crest as he took a seat on the edge of his bed.

"Is there anything that Kreacher can do? Anything he can bring?" the Elf asked from the doorway.

Regulus shook his head. "No, I don't want anything, Kreacher." He laid back on his bed, putting his arms behind his head, and sighed heavily. "Mum is going to be really pissed off when I tell her."

"Would you like Kreacher to tell her, Sir?" the elf offered up with wide eyes.

"No, I'll tell her. You should go get dinner started.; she doesn't need two things to be screaming about."

Kreacher bowed and was out of the room in an instant.

The reaction from his mother was exactly what Regulus assumed it would be when he told her of Sirius' departure. He flinched and stared at the floor as his mother's words filled the air.

"That no good, unworthy, blood traitor filth!" Walburga shrieked. "What an ungrateful little sod." She picked up the sides of her robes, lifting the hem off the floor and headed up the stairs towards the drawing room. Her nose stayed in the air as her feet hit each step with an eerie lightness.

"Mum!" Regulus called out as he hurriedly followed the woman up the stairs and into the drawing room. "What are you doing?"

"That little ingrate wants to leave this family, then he is more than welcome to. He is nothing but a disgrace to our name." Walburga pointed her wand at Sirius' name on the family tapestry. A smirk crossed the woman's face as a bolt of light shot from the tip of her wand and there was instantly a smoking scorch mark where the boy's name had once been.

"What have you done?" Regulus cried out as he ran over to the tapestry and bent to look at the new blackened mar amongst the family images.

Walburga casually moved her wand to aim at Regulus' name and looked him in the eyes. "Would you like to join him?" she asked with a hiss.

Regulus stood up straight and shook his head. "No ma'am."

She lowered her wand and gave her son a sad attempt at a proper smile. "That's what I thought. You were always the good son, and now...you're the only one." She bunched up her cloak around her shoulders and lifted her nose back into the air. With a graceful, uncaring turn, she strolled from the room to leave her son behind.

Regulus stood motionless as he watched his mother leave the room. His eyes dropped to the still smoking mark that was once his brother. The smell was reaching his nostrils and becoming something of an irritant; rather than walk out as well, he pressed the tip of his right index finger to the scorch mark to stop its slow burn. Instantly, the pain of a burn shot through Regulus' finger and up his entire arm, causing his skin to prickle. A small smile pulled at the boy's lips as he withdrew his finger and looked down at it. He could already see the skin reddening and beginning to blister over.

"Master Regulus," came Kreacher's hesitant voice from the doorway. "Would you like something for that?" he continued as he took one slow step into the drawing room.

"No," Regulus answered, shoving his hand down into his pocket. "It's fine."

Kreacher nodded and let his eyes wander towards the new blemish on the tapestry. "Dinner is ready," he said, his head dropping to hide the pleased grin on his face.

Regulus twisted his lips and stepped around the elf to head for the kitchen. As he passed Sirius' room, he pulled the door closed and tapped the knob with his wand to lock it. Luckily, in a pure Wizarding household, underage magic was not able to be detected, especially such a simple spell. His mouth formed into a frown as he could hear Kreacher in the drawing room. The house-elf was alternating between celebrating the loss of Sirius and subsequently punishing himself for doing so.

The boy squeezed his hand around his burnt finger and sighed softly at the pain. "You're the idiot," he spat angrily at the closed door. "You always treated Potter like more of a brother anyways." He sneered at the door and turned away from it. "Jerk."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Hey, guys! I want to thank you for starting my story and I really hope that you all hang in for the ride. There is no surprise as to the "plan" of Regulus' that is mentioned here. Everyone knows what he did regarding the Horcrux and it will be no different here. There will be no "he is actually alive" moment. J.K. Rowling say he is dead and her word is law here, this story is not AU. I'm sure you are wondering who the guy is that he is talking to at the start of the story. 'Tis a mystery that will only be revealed in the end. Don't even ask, I won't tell anyone who it is. Don't be shy to leave a few words of review. Thanks! :D –Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	2. Mulcibers, Mudbloods & Polyjuice Potion

**Chapter 2: Mulcibers, Mudbloods & Polyjuice Potion**

**.**

The three weeks following Sirius' departure were quiet, to say the least. The usual sounds that filled the house were not there. There was no blasting of Muggle music from Sirius' room. There was no shrieking from their mother in response to the music. There was no fighting, no hateful screams and the words _blood_ _traitor_ _filth_ were not heard even once. In fact, barely any words were heard. Regulus hadn't really noticed before how little his parents spoke to each other when it wasn't about Sirius' behavior. It just didn't seem like summer without his brother there.

There was nothing particularly special about the morning Regulus headed off to King's Cross Station. Walburga gave her son a quick hug; the woman's arms barely made physical contact with the boy, but he didn't mind. Regulus was much the same as his mother in that aspect, the idea of touching other people made him uneasy.

Just as Regulus was heading out, Kreacher rushed up to the boy and held his hands up with a small, wrapped offering. "Kreacher made some cookies for the ride to school," the elf said, looking up at Regulus with wide and adoring eyes.

Regulus grinned down at the elf and took the package. He never quite understood why the creature preferred him to any of the other family members. He always supposed that it was because as a young child, he was often with the house-elf. Sirius' behavior problems dated back to the day the boy could talk and this often left Regulus untended by anyone but Kreacher as his parents dealt with the older boy.

"Thanks," he told the elf, smirking at the way Kreacher seemed to preen at his simple gratitude. "I'll see you at Christmas," he added as he heaved his trunk out of the door and joined his father on the front walk.

A few hours later, Regulus moved along the center of the train, looking into each compartment as he did so. He stopped as he reached a compartment holding two familiar boys. One was very tall and burly with messy blonde hair and large brown eyes; the other, almost an exact copy except for being slightly shorter and having closely cropped brown hair. Regulus entered the compartment, stowing his bag on the overhead rack, then fell onto the empty seat.

"Regulus, you're late. I thought you were off making new friends," the taller boy joked.

Regulus rolled his eyes at the remark. "You thought nothing of the sort, Will. You were probably just hoping I wouldn't show up so you could have a go at Elizabeth." He turned to the side, facing the door, and put his feet up on the seat beside him.

Will smiled and shook his head, then clapped his hand on the back of the boy next to him. "Nah, I can't be too mean to her. After all, Topher here is practically dro-" His words were cut off at the sound of the compartment door opening.

A very lovely girl stood in the open doorway, her small brown eyes darting over each boy, a smile on her glossy lips. A small squeaking sound escaped the girl as she spotted Regulus. In an instant, her arms were wrapped tightly around the boy's neck, her dark brown curls scattering into his face. She pressed her lips to Regulus' cheek and frowned as she felt the boy pushing her away.

Regulus sat up and put his feet into the floor, then looked up at the now frowning young girl. "I'm glad to see you too," he said with a smirk. "But...please, Elizabeth, you know I don't like people in my pe-"

"- personal space," interrupted Topher and Will, finishing the boy's sentence in unison and bringing a scowl their direction from Regulus.

Elizabeth closed the door back and waited for Regulus to dust off the seat where his feet had been before sitting down next to the boy. "You and your personal space," she muttered, a slight pout on her lips. "You had plenty of personal space over the summer."

"You two didn't see each other over the summer?" Topher asked quickly. He leaned forward, twisting his hands in front of him and looking a bit too eager for the answer.

"Nope," the girl offered in a simple tone. She shook her head, purposely making her curls bounce around her shoulders and send the faintest trace of lavender into the air. "Evan and I spent the summer in France. It was so much fun," she continued with a small giggle.

"Was it?" Will cried out in a mocking female tone as he sat straight up in his seat and began batting his eyelashes at the girl.

Elizabeth jutted out her tongue towards Will in a childish display and the boy reacted with a feigned scene of dramatics in which he placed his hand over his heart and gasped loudly. A face appeared in the window of the compartment and Will threw a glare in their direction. He stood up, pulled the blind down, then fell back into his seat, allowing his arm to drape around Topher's shoulders. The shorter boy shrugged off the other and turned his attention back to Elizabeth. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted before he had the chance.

"Look, Elizabeth, no one wants to hear about you and your lame ass brother's vacation," Will snapped as he sat back in his seat and slouched down.

"My brother isn't lame," Elizabeth quickly defended.

Will let out a laugh and shook his head. "Evan is a total loser. So is that greasy freak he's always hanging out with. What's his name?" The boy snapped his fingers and closed his eyes to think.

"Snape," Regulus answered. "They're a couple of jerks." He looked over at Elizabeth and gave the girl a grin. "Sorry, but they are." He didn't look the slightest bit sorry. "Just two wannabe Death Eaters that will _never_ make the cut."

Will snorted a laugh into his hand. "Damn straight. Especially when that greased up loser is always chasing around that Mudblood." He shook his head slowly, sighing as he watched the station fade into the distance from the moving train.

"He isn't," Topher said rather lamely. "Not anymore."

"Who cares? He was drooling over that filth for way too long to recover from it," Regulus spat. A scoffing sound from Elizabeth brought the boy's attention onto her.

"Oh no," Will sighed loudly. "You've offended her." He waved his hands mockingly, his eyes locking cold onto the girl. "You gotta stop being so touchy. If you're gonna stay with Regulus, then you have _got_ to get over your mummy issues. Big deal if your mum was a Mudblood, she's dead now. Deal with it. At least your dad had enough sense to get rid of her."

"He didn't get rid of her," Elizabeth spat in anger. "She was sick, you ass."

"Or so he says," Will argued. "Like you would know, right? You were just a baby." The older boy leaned forward and gave Elizabeth an eerie smile. He was taking pleasure in upsetting the girl. "Isn't it at all strange to you that your mum dies of...being sick and just two weeks later, daddy walks a nice Pure-blood down the aisle?" A quiet laugh escaped the boy's chest as he stared her down. "Suspicious."

Topher reached out and punched his brother hard on the shoulder, earning a glare from the boy. Will laughed again and shook his head as he sat back upright in his seat; his eyes never leaving his brother's stern face. He rubbed his hand roughly over his brother's cropped hair and rolled his eyes as the boy slapped his hand away.

"What are you gonna do without me next year?" Will asked with a cheeky grin.

"Be happy," Elizabeth snapped, folding her arms over her chest.

"Oh, come on," Will cried out, his face showing clear annoyance. "It isn't like I was insulting your dad. I know if some Mudblood tricked me into marrying her, I'd kill the bitch the moment I found out. Wouldn't hide behind some stupid excuse like ibeing sick/i either." He rubbed his fingers over his lips and narrowed his eyes at the girl. "What about you, Regulus?" he asked, wanting to make a point.

Regulus looked over at the older boy and answered without a drop of hesitation in his voice. "If some filth tricked me like that? I'd kill her, full stop."

Elizabeth gave a soft huff and stared out of the window, knowing that she was outnumbered. "You guys are jerks," she muttered. After a stretching silence, she turned to her boyfriend and pushed her fingers into the boy's short, black locks. "You cut your hair again," she said casually, trying to act as though the argument had never happened.

Regulus swatted Elizabeth's hand away and glared at her. "Personal space." He combed his fingers through his hair to straighten out what the girl had mussed. "I cut it again because I wanted to. I like it short; I've told you that before."

The girl frowned and twisted a strand of her own hair around her fingers. "I keep telling his that he should let it get long like Sirius' is. He's so cute." She sat up straight, her words not directed at anyone in particular.

Regulus turned away at the mention of his brother's name, his thumb mindlessly brushing over the scar on the tip of his finger. Out of the corner of his eyes, he caught Topher rubbing his hand over his hair in an almost involuntary way. "So," Topher started wearily. "Word gets around pretty fast...is it true?"

"Is what true?" Regulus asked dryly.

"About your brother," Will interrupted. He grabbed his wand and held it with both hands, pointing it away from himself. "Did he get the 'ole -" he made an explosion sound and shook his wand dramatically "- off the Black tapestry? Mum says he got blasted really good; said the scorch is bigger than Andromeda's."

Regulus nodded and bit down on the side of his tongue. "Yeah," he answered quietly. "He's gone. Ran away and mum singed him straight off. But...it isn't bigger than Andromeda's." He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down hard enough to draw a small trickle of blood. He sucked on the blood and stared out of the window.

The compartment fee into a tense kind of quiet. Elizabeth shifted closer to Regulus and laid her hand on the boy's knee, but quickly retracted it when his steely grey eyes cut towards her. She pouted at the boy and he leaned over to give her a quick kiss before leaning away again. Will, who was staring out of the window in a trance like manner, suddenly burst into a hysterical sort of laughter. The confused expressions from the rest of the travelers made his sit up straight and try to contain himself.

"Okay," Will started, trying to catch his breath. "So, I was just thinking how hilarious it would be if that Mudblood Gryffindork that the grease ball is always after just...came up to him, right in the middle of the Great Hall, I mean where _everyone_ can see it, and she just shouted that she's in love with him." He dragged his hands back through his hair and continued. "And then, of course he's gonna get all excited about it, thinking that it's true, then...and here's the good part, then she says that she's kidding and he just dies. He would break down so hard. That would be funny, right?"

"Well...yeah, I guess it would be funny," Regulus conceded with a shrug. "Wouldn't happen though."

"That's just it though, it wouldn't be _her_, it would be one of us." Will pointed between himself and Regulus and leaned closer. "Over the summer, I heard dad talking about the pranks he used to pull back in school. And he mentioned Polyjuice Potion. I say -" he slapped the back of his hand against Topher's chest "- that we brew us up some and really fuck with people."

Regulus nodded and ran his tongue over his bottom lip, feeling the deep cracks that lined it from constant biting. "I guess we could. I'll talk to Slughorn after the first class. He'll tell me how to do it, that dumb ass will do anything for a member of his _Slug_ _Club_."

Wild laughter filled the compartment at the mention of the Slug Club. Will gave a sinister smile and glanced around at everyone's face. "We make this potion and there is no end to the number of things we could pull." He laughed again and turned his attention out of the window; a deep look of thought forming on his features.

Elizabeth shifted in her seat and took Regulus' hand, which was gone in an instant. The smile the boy gave her as penance looked overly forced and Elizabeth scowled in return. "When are you gonna get past all of this?" she whispered, despite that fact she knew the others could still hear her.

"I don't know," Regulus muttered, slinking down in his seat a bit. "Not like I want to be this way. You knew that I didn't like a lot of physical contact when you asked me out. If you can't deal with it, then you can always -"

"No!" Elizabeth shouted, louder than she intended. "I'm fine with it. I am, really. I was thinking though... You know what? We can talk at school when there's more privacy."

Regulus nodded and bit at his bottom lip again.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: For those of you who are real fanatics, I want to point out that Will and Topher's last name is Mulciber. Remember, there is only one Death Eater named Mulciber. Which one will it be? As for Evan, Elizabeth's brother, the boy who pals around with Snape, you may recognize that he is, in fact, Evan Rosier. Let me know what you think of the story so far. Thanks! :D –Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	3. I Want to Hold Your Hand

**Chapter 3: I Want to Hold Your Hand**

**.**

After the start of term dinner, the small group of friends made their way towards the Slytherin common room. Elizabeth fell into step beside Regulus and slipped her hand into his. She held it tightly, knowing that he would instinctively pull away without even trying. Regulus' hand twitched in hers, and Elizabeth gave him a comforting smile. She pulled the boy to a stop and signaled that she wanted him to follow her.

"Topher, you and Will go on, I wanna talk to Regulus alone a minute," Elizabeth said sweetly as she pulled her boyfriend over to the side of the wall into a small window alcove.

Regulus cast a desperate glance towards his friends, but they were all too quick to abandon him. He felt the girl squeeze his hand to get his attention. She reached up and laid her hand gently on his cheek. He closed his and took a long, deep breath, but did not pull away.

"Thank you," Elizabeth whispered as she dropped her hand from the boy's face. She took a small step back from Regulus, leaving their hands joined. She smiled at the boy for a moment before blurting out, "I wanna have sex."

"With who?" Regulus laughed out as he tried to tug his hand from Elizabeth's steel grip

"With you," she answered, rolling her eye at the boy. "Logically, I think it's the next step for our relationship," she continued, giving Regulus a small nod. "And...I just want to."

"You can't be serious. Elizabeth, I can barely stand here and hold your hand without feeling like I can't breath." To accentuate his point, Regulus jerked his hand free and took a small step backwards. "How do you expect me to have sex with you?"

Elizabeth frowned and took a step towards her boyfriend, regaining the ground she'd lost. The boy responded by yet again taking a step backwards, this time crashing into the stone wall behind him. "We just go slow," she said with a smile as she took another step forward. Her hands laid on the boy's chest and her brown eyes locking onto his grey. "Start with the kissing and go from there. Longer ones. Ones that aren't over before I even know they're happening."

Regulus pulled Elizabeth's hands away and nodded slowly. He took a long breath and cut his eyes towards the wall behind her head. "I'll try," he whispered. "But I'm not promising _anything_," he added at seeing the hope in the girl's eyes.

Elizabeth let out a small squeal and touched Regulus' cheek, pushing his face to make him look directly at her. She leaned towards him, but the boy pushed her away.

"You mean now?" he asked with a panicked tone as he side stepped out of her trap.

Elizabeth nodded and grabbed onto Regulus' arm. "Why not? There's no reason why we shouldn't try to kiss now. You said that you'd try." Her eyes softened and her face fell with disappointment. "Don't you want this?"

Regulus rounded back on the girl, making her flinch slightly in surprise. "Of course I want this! You don't think that I wanna be able to sleep with my girlfriend when she asks?" He let out a frustrated growl and rubbed his hands over his face, pushing them back to drag through his hair. "Fine," he snapped. "I'll do it now." He advanced on the girl, barely giving her time to prepare herself, and pressed his hands into the wall on either side of her head.

He shifted his feet and leaned forward, raising up on his toes a bit to make up for the height Elizabeth held over him. Roughly, the boy pressed his lips against Elizabeth's, fighting the urge to pull away quickly as he had always done. They moved their lips slowly for a moment, begin careful about it. Elizabeth reached up and slid her arms around Regulus' neck, locking him firm in place. That proved to be too much for him. Regulus pried the girl's arms away and took a large step back from her.

His eyes closed tightly as he fought for a proper breath. "I'm sorry," he whispered before turning around and charging down the hall, needing to get away from Elizabeth. He could hear her calling his name, begging him to come back and apologizing as she followed a ways behind him.

Regulus picked up his pace, not caring as he knocked over a first year in a group of students on tour. He near yelled the password at the wall and bolted through the common room without a single glance around. He barely registered Will's attempts at speaking to him as he passed the seventh year. As he entered the fifth year boys' dormitory, his eyes scanned over the four beds, wondering which was his. He caught Topher's gaze and waited.

Topher, not even needing a question to provide the answer, simply pointed to one of the beds. Regulus gave the other boy a nod of thanks and fell down hard on the edge of his new bed. Topher slowly lowered himself onto the bed right next to Regulus' and stared over at him.

The two other boys in the room silently attended to their things, not paying any mind to Topher or Regulus, or at least not letting on that they were. This was common place. The four boys had drawn a clear line in their first week of school and neither group even bothered to speak with each other or try for a reconciliation.

"Can I come over and sit?" Topher asked cautiously.

Regulus nodded and scooted towards the headboard of his bed as Topher moved to sit on the end of it as far away as he could manage. The smaller boy huffed and threw a glance behind him at the unpacking roommates before resuming his place in the middle of the bed.

"What happened?" Topher asked, keeping his voice low.

Regulus shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to think of the simplest way to explain things to his friend. "She wants to have sex," he finally announced.

"With who?" Topher asked without even thinking. He snorted loudly and slapped his hand over his mouth in an attempt to stop laughing at the situation. "Sorry man," he breathed out as he regained himself. He shot Regulus an apologetic look and grinned. "It's just...well you can't even hold her hand."

Regulus laughed and threw his hands up in defeat. "That's what I told her. Exactly. She says that we can _work at it_."

"Work at it? Do you even know what _it_ is?" the taller boy asked, averting his eyes to the floor. "Just, I wonder...I mean what's with the whole personal space issue...thing anyways? I'd say that you just don't like the girl, but you can't stand when anyone touches you!"

Regulus gave an earnest shrug. "I wish I knew. It's just always been that way."

"Why don't you like it?" Topher asked after a stretched silence. "You don't have to answer, but...we've been friends for four years now and I still don't understand you."

"I can't really explain it," Regulus began. "When she touches me, when _anyone_ touches me...I get nervous. Not like _I'm gonna screw up_ nervous but more like _I'm gonna die_ nervous. My heart get all fast and I can't breath and I can't think and I just _know_ that something bad is about to happen, I just know that I'm gonna..." He shook his head and pulled his feet up on the bed underneath him. "I just don't like it."

"What about your mum and dad? Can they touch you?" Topher asked, taking a look back over his shoulder to ensure their privacy.

"Mum's the same way," Regulus chuckled. "How she ever got pregnant is beyond me. If dad even sits too close to her, she starts a fit. Screaming and just...you've met her," he finished with a huff. He chewed roughly on his bottom lip a moment before confessing, "Sirius." He dragged the back of his hand across his mouth to get rid of the tiny blood droplets and continued. "Sirius used to put his arm around me and we could wrestle and goof around. We were really young though and then, he went off to school and didn't come home for Christmas and he skipped Easter break. By the time he came home...he was different. He had himself a new brother."

Topher opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Regulus.

"I know you like her," he said quickly. "I know that you like Elizabeth, I'm not stupid. And I wish that she liked you back. She could ditch me and move on with you and then everyone could be happy. But her father won't let her." He mindlessly plucked at the loose string on his sweater sleeve and shrugged. "She says it isn't true, but I don't believe her."

"To be honest," Topher began hesitantly. "I asked her if she was interested in me, last year. Right before finals." He grimaced and looked away from his friend with shame. "Said I wasn't her type."

Regulus scowled at the other boy and raised one eyebrow. "You hit on my girlfriend?" he asked, slightly offended despite what he had just said. "Don't answer that, it isn't important. I like her, I really do. I mean, she's pretty and smart and fiery, there's no reason _not_ to like a girl like her. So...I'm gonna try to do what she wants."

Topher gave an indignant snort and moved back over to his own bed. He fell down onto it and whipped his curtains closed. "Gotta get up early," he mumbled.

* * *

The next morning, Regulus rolled over and groaned into his pillow as he was awoken by the sounds of his roommates moving about the room. "It can't be time to get up already," he called out groggily as he rubbed his eyes and yawned.

The boy's curtains whipped back to reveal a smirking Topher. "It was time to get up half an hour ago. Move your ass or I'm leaving you. I'm not gonna miss breakfast, shorty."

Regulus tossed his pillow at a retreating Topher, who merely laughed and flung it back. The smaller boy grabbed the pillow from the air just before it hit him in the face and punched at it, then forced himself to sit up in bed. He rushed through his routine, having a much easier time once he his shower caused him to become fully awake.

Down at breakfast, all of the students received their schedules. Will snatched Topher's from him before the boy had a chance to look at it, resulting in a small wrestling match between the boys. Regulus read over his quietly, trying to ignore the other two boys, and picked at a bowl of dry corn flakes. He looked up as Elizabeth slipped into the seat next to him.

The girl leaned over and gave Regulus a quick peck on the cheek before pulling away and snatching up a near-by platter of bacon. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she dumped the food onto her plate. "We don't have to do anything that you aren't ready for."

Regulus shook his head and slipped his hand into Elizabeth's. "I want to keep trying," he whispered with a forced smile. "Just don't get so carried away next time." He gave her a quick wink and pulled his hand away to resume his breakfast.

"Look at this," Will announced, breaking the other's conversation. "You guys have double Potions last thing today. You can talk to Sluggy about the Polyjuice Potion."

Regulus nodded and muttered, "Yeah, will do." He hurried through his breakfast and got to his feet, scooping his bag up out of the floor. "You ready?" he asked, looking down at Elizabeth. "Don't wanna be late the first day. Not that Binns will even notice."

Elizabeth jumped up and nodded eagerly. "Can we hold hands on the way?"

"Don't push it," Regulus answered with a sigh.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: What Regulus is experiencing is a mild panic attack. It can be a very unnerving thing to go through. Were he to explain this to a psychologist in today's time, he would be given a prescription and he could go on with his life. Of course, you'd never find the likes of Regulus Black on a therapist couch. Reviews are love people, send me some. Thanks. :D –Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	4. Purely Educational, Of Course

**Chapter 4: Purely Educational, of Course**

**.**

The first day of classes seemed to breeze by as all of the teachers spent the period saying the same things. Many times, the fifth years were reminded of proper class conduct and warned of the penalties. They also sat through lengthy lectures about their O.W.L. year and how important it was for determining their futures.

Regulus made certain to get the front table in Potions, hoping that Topher would join him, but Elizabeth was quick to become his partner. He grudgingly sat through the same boring lecture from Professor Slughorn, all the while trying to keep Elizabeth from putting her hand on his knee. After class, he sent the girl ahead so that he and Topher could speak to the Professor.

Slughorn seemed overjoyed that the two boys chose to wait around after class. "Boys, how were you summers?" the portly man asked while closing the door.

They made small talk for a while, assisting the man in straightening up the room while discussing their summers and other trivial matters. After what felt like a sufficient amount of time, Regulus got to the point.

"Professor," the boy began in his most innocent and charming tone. "Over the summer, I happened to hear about a Potion that sounded rather...interesting. It was called a...Polyjuice Potion."

Professor Slughorn got an excited look on his face as he rounded on the young boy. "Polyjuice Potion is quite interesting," he agreed, nodding his head. "Allows one to take the physical form of another for an hour."

Regulus gave the man a forced smile, though Slughorn didn't seem to notice the effort it took. "We were wondering...if was alright with you of course...if we could, maybe read more about it. I heard it was very difficult and with this being our O.W.L. year, I think it would be a real benefit to talk about the theories behind it. If we knew what they were."

The professor eyes both boys very carefully. "I suppose you're right. Not to cause any sort of trouble, right? Just purely education purposes, that would be alright."

"Purely educational, of course," Topher parroted quickly, flashing the man a bright smile. "We both know how much of a help it would be to have some extra reading outside of class. After all, we don't wanna fail and miss the chance to be in your N.E.W.T. class next year."

Professor Slughorn preened at Topher's words and rushed over to his desk. He grabbed up a scrap of parchment and scrawled onto it quickly, then handed it over to Regulus. "That should get you the book you need," he said with a proud tone. "Just don't go flaunting it around."

Regulus stared down at the note and smiled.

**I give my permission for Regulus  
****Black and Topher Mulicber to check  
****out 'Moste Potente Potions' from the  
****restricted section of the library.  
****-P. Horace Slughorn**

"Thank you so much, Professor," Regulus cooed as he slipped the note into his pocket. "We really appreciate you going beyond to help us study."

"Once again, you have come through for your students. How ever can we repay your kindness?" Topher asked, mimicking Regulus' tone of adoration.

The professor blushed slightly and shook his head, then waved his hand nonchalantly at Regulus and made a scoffing sound. "No need for anything to repay me. It's my pleasure to help out my students. Oh -" he got a sudden look of realization on his face "- I was planning on having a little dinner party again this year, right before winter break. You two will attend, won't you?"

"Of course," Regulus answered. "We wouldn't dream of missing one of your parties."

"Fantastic!" Slughorn clapped his hands together and beamed. "You'll tell your brother as well, won't you, Topher? You can all bring your special lady friends."

"I'll let Will know straight away. He's gonna be excited; he does love the stories you tell at your parties," Topher agreed with a bright smile.

"As do we all," Regulus added with a charming, fake laugh.

Slughorn grinned and patted Topher on his back. "Boys, as much as I wish I could continue this little chat of ours, I have some very important business to attend to."

"Of course, an important man such as yourself, you must be swamped. We're sorry to have kept you so long," Regulus laid it on thick as Slughorn showed him and Topher to the door.

The boys were well down the hallway and out of hearing range before Topher spoke again. "Bet you five Galleons that his important business is inside a brown bottle?" the boy asked, a smile creeping across his face.

"Topher! Watch your mouth. That is a very important man -" Regulus started laughing so hard he could barely get his words out "-that you're talking about."

The two of them laughed all the way to the common room, occasionally repeating part of their conversation in mocking voices and batting their eyelashes for comedic effect. As they stepped into the common room, Will instantly pounced on them.

"I take it from those grins that you two just finished your brown nosing session with Sluggy," the older boy laughed as he hit his brother on the back in congratulations.

"As per your request," Regulus answered with a smirk. He pulled out the scrap of parchment and waved it victoriously at Will. "Got a note to get the book."

The eldest Slytherin let out a loud laugh and dropped himself heavily onto one of the black leather sofas. "So, when are you two starting?"

Regulus raised one eyebrow at Will as he lowered himself into an armchair across from him. "When do _we_ start? This was your damn plan; aren't you going to help?"

Topher laughed manically as he threw himself onto the sofa next to his brother. "You're kidding right? Will can't brew for crap. I think he got a T on his O.W.L."

Will reached out and punched Topher on his shoulder, receiving one in return. "It wasn't a T, it was a P. Anyways, the jerk's right, I'm dreadful at Potions. I'd just end up messing it up. You're better off if I'm nowhere near the thing."

"What _are_ you gonna do then?" Regulus asked.

"I'm gonna be that Mudblood for an hour; isn't that enough?" he asked, pretending to gag himself.

Regulus chuckled quietly, but didn't consent to the cop out. "You're helping some way," he pressed on. "You can help get the ingredients at the very least."

"Well, the very least is what I aim for," Will laughed, stretching his arms high into the air and knocking his brother in the side of the head. This small act prompted the two boys to launch into a full wrestling match in the middle of the common room.

Regulus sighed, knowing that the little fights could sometimes stretch over an hour, and rose from his seat. "I'm gonna find a place with a few less idiots," he snapped before turning on his heel and heading back to his dormitory.

Just as he stepped over the threshold, he bumped into one of his dorm mates, who quickly stuttered out an apology and refused to meet Regulus' eyes. The boy hurried away, leaving Regulus alone in the room. He fell back onto his bed and pulled out his wand, twirling it around his fingers as he thought over what the next step would be in making the potion.

Elizabeth peeked her head into the room and smiled before strolling over and staring down at Regulus. "Whatcha' doin'?" she asked, taking a seat on the edge of the boy's bed.

Regulus laid his wand down beside him and shrugged. "Just thinking about the potion." He sat up right and leaned against his headboard. "What would you do if you had some?" he asked. "Who would you be?"

Elizabeth scrunched up her face and cut her eyes away in thought. "Hmm, I don't know. That's a tough question. I guess I would be...Topher."

Regulus raised his eyebrows in confusion, making Elizabeth giggle. She smiled and went on to explain. "I would be Topher because he's the only one big enough to kick Will's ass."

The boy laughed at her words and shook his head. He crawled over to her and kissed her cheek softly before returning to his place against the headboard.

"Who would you be?" she asked, grinning a the small show of affection.

"No one," Regulus answered. "I couldn't take the potion, it would be too hard."

"What would be too hard?"

"Turning back into myself when the time was up," he answered, biting down on his lip entirely too hard. Blood quickly filled the boy's mouth and he coughed into his hand. "Damn it!" he shouted as he scrambled for his wand and conjured up a towel. He spat the blood into the cloth and held it to his lips tightly to stop the bleeding.

Elizabeth didn't react to the situation. If was by no means the first time she'd seen Regulus do that. "Yes, yes, it must be dreadful to be you," she cooed with false sympathy. "Poor little Black, only heir to his family's money and pride." She rolled her eyes and tucked a strand of brown behind her ear. "I think if you were to be someone else for a while, you would see how great it is to be you." She got up and gave a small wave to the boy as she headed out. "See you at dinner."

Regulus frowned at the retreating girl and dabbed at his lip to check if the bleeding had stopped. After a while, Will and Topher bounded into the dorm room, laughing and shoving each other. Will took a place on the end of Regulus' bed and glanced over at the bloody towel.

"Again?" he asked, snorting at the sight. Before Regulus could even respond, he went on. "We need a place to brew this damn thing."

"Can't just do it in our rooms or something, we'll get busted for sure," Topher added as he laid back on his own bed. "One of the old classrooms? I think there's one on the sixth floor, full of boxes."

"Too risky, one of the professors might need a box or something," Will pointed out.

"I know a place," Regulus offered quietly. "You know that creepy statue on the fifth floor? Over in the East wing?"

"The witch with the cat on her shoulder?" Topher asked.

"Nah, the Gregory the Smarmy one," Regulus corrected. "Behind it, there's a passage way. It isn't huge, but there's plenty of room for a cauldron and the three of us." He shifted awkwardly and pointed his wand towards the bloody towel to vanish it. "I'll show you guys after dinner."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: This chapter was a lot of fun to write because I got to do a little Slughorn bashing. I, honestly, hate that man. So, how much are you guys liking Regulus right now? Be honest, do you like him? Feel a bit sorry for him even? Well, don't expect that to last, sorry. Boy ends up a Death Eater, let's not forget that. Any Topher or Will fans out there? Any guess who will end up the Death Eater between the two? Leave me some love. :D –Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	5. Ravenclaw in the Library

**Chapter 5: Ravenclaw in the Library**

**.**

Regulus and Topher decided to wait until Saturday to get the Potions book from the library. They wanted plenty of time to devote to it and their classwork seemed to be piling up fairly quickly. After having breakfast and failing at many attempts to get Will to go along, the two boys made their way to the library and up to the desk.

The stern woman looked between Regulus and Topher several times, her eyes darting to the note over and over, trying to detect any hint of it being fake. Finally, with nothing to refuse over, the woman retreated into the back and fetched the book.

Regulus gave the woman his best attempt at a smile and took the book from the desk. "Thank you," he said quickly, trying to hold the hostility out of his voice.

"Back to the commons?" Topher asked, starting towards the door.

"Nah, Snape could overhear us there. And...I'm avoiding Elizabeth," Regulus admitted, redirecting his friend towards the back of the library. He looked over the two overstuffed couches in the corner and decided on one of the near-by tables instead. "Let's just sit here."

"What about him?" Topher asked, pointing towards the only person sitting in the vicinity. It was a boy, sitting on one of the couches, his nose down in a book.

"Who cares? He isn't even in our House. Who's he gonna tell if he overhears?"

Topher shrugged and slid into one of the chairs along side Regulus. The shorter boy began flipping through pages while the other stared off into nothing.

"I can see why the old bat didn't wanna hand this over," Regulus scoffed as he turned the book towards Topher. "There's some nasty potions in here. This one actually turns you inside out."

Topher looked over at the page and grimaced at the depiction of the potion's effects. "That's disgusting," he said with a shudder, pushing the book away from himself.

Regulus snorted a laugh and pulled the book back in front of him, then resumed flipping through the pages. "Here it is," he announced quietly. He scanned over the page a moment, then frowned. "This looks a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"Good luck then, I'm rubbish at Potions; you know that." the boy leaned over to see the page better, making sure not to get uncomfortably close to Regulus. "Yeah, there's no way I can do that."

"Me either. I manage alright...but this is...I don't know. We might have to scrap this plan, none of us are really up to it." Regulus drummed his fingers on the table and looked back up at Topher. "Are you even listening to me?"

Topher was not, in fact, listening to Regulus. His eyes were on a leggy brunette perusing on of the nearest shelves. "I'll be right back," he said distantly, not even looking at Regulus. He got up and walked over to the girl, smiling brightly. The brunette gave him the once over before turning her back on him. Topher frowned and tapped her lightly on the shoulder, resulting in her scoffing and storming away. The boy made a baffled face and slumped back over to the table with Regulus.

"Hey, what's _Isanthus_ _braciatus_?" Regulus asked as the other boy headed back over.

"How the hell should I know? I sleep in Herbology," Topher muttered, falling into his chair heavily. "Honestly, when are we ever gonna need to know that stuff?"

"We need to know it _now_," Regulus answered with a frown.

Topher rolled his eyes and rested his head on his hand. "Just ask someone, shorty. I'm sure one of these nerds in the library on a Saturday can tell you what isany braccy or whatever is."

Regulus narrowed his eyes at being called shorty. "In case you haven't noticed, _we_ are in the library on a Saturday," he pointed out. "And it's _Isanthus_ _braciatus_, jerk."

"Fluxweed," a voice from behind the boys called out.

Regulus and Topher both slowly turned around to see the boy who was sitting on the corner couch. "What?" Topher asked, cutting his eyes over towards Regulus.

The boy closed his book and looked up at the others. "_Isanthus_ _braciatus_ is often called fluxweed. It's a member of the mint family. Native to the Eastern United States," he went on, sounding much like he was reading straight from text.

"See," Topher said, nudging Regulus with his elbow. "Told you one of these nerds could tell you."

The boy raised his eyebrows at Topher and gave him an annoyed scowl. Regulus let out a nervous laugh and held up his hand. "He's kidding," he said quickly. He scooped the book up, marking the page with his finger, and walked over to the couch. He took a seat a ways down the couch from the other boy turned towards him. "Fluxweed, huh? I don't suppose you know if there's any of that in the greenhouses do you?"

The boy reached up and slid his glasses back into place. "Yeah...there should be some in greenhouse five."

"Great," Topher said, clapping his hands together. "Let's go get it."

"What are you making?" the boy asked before either could move. "I'm not trying to be nosy, it's just that with fluxweed, it changes. Thus the flux part. You have to pick it at different times for different potions, otherwise it won't work right."

Regulus and Topher exchanged glances, silently nodding in agreement to let the boy assist. "Polyjuice Potion," Regulus answered.

"Mind if I look?" the boy asked, pointing towards the book. Regulus opened it up and handed it over to him, then waited in silence as he stared down at the page. He looked around mindlessly, twisting his hands in front of him as he waited while Topher watched the leggy brunette exit the library.

"Hey, Regulus, I'm gonna take off," Topher mumbled as he headed towards the door after the girl.

"Like hell you are!" Regulus called out, but it was too late; Topher was gone.

"Regulus huh?" the boy asked, shifting the book in his lap. "Like the star?"

"Yeah," he answered with a grin, leaning back against the couch. "My family has this thing about stars. It's kinda weird."

"What's your surname?"

"Black," he answered, his voice proud and strong.

"Well," the boy said as he turned towards Regulus and offered his hand, "Regulus Black, I'm Anthony Bonham."

Regulus looked down at the boy's hand and shook it quickly, removing his hand as fast as he could manage. He smiled at the other boy in an effort to show that he meant no offense by the speedy release. Anthony Bonham had soft, deep blue eyes that were covered by thin, rectangle, silver framed glasses and his dirty blonde hair hung straight, just above his eyes.

"Bonham...Bonham..." Regulus repeated quietly. "That name sounds really familiar; can't place it though. What House are you in?"

Anthony handed the book back to Regulus and gave him a crooked smile that showed off his white, but slightly out of line teeth. "Ravenclaw."

"Shoulda known," Regulus laughed. "Why does that sound so familiar though? Bonham."

"No idea," the other boy answered with a shrug. "I can help you with that. If you and your mate are as rubbish as you say, you'll mess it up." He tapped his finger on the book to indicate what he meant. "If you want, I mean. I'm really good at Potions. Got top marks on my O.W.L. last year."

"You would do that? That's great!"

"Only...one condition."

"Name it." Regulus was positively beaming at the prospect of not having to brew the potion alone.

"My condition is that whatever trouble you guys are planning with it, I don't wanna get blamed. You get caught and my name has to stay out of it." Anthony's voice was stern, but his eyes flashed with eagerness over the potion.

Regulus put on an innocent face. "What makes you think we're gonna cause tro- Yeah, never mind. We are gonna cause trouble, but you have a deal. We get busted and we've never heard of you." He repositioned the book in his lap to be more comfortable and stared back down at it.

"Full moon," Anthony said, picking his book back up.

"Huh?" Regulus looked up and raised a single eyebrow at the other boy.

"You need to pick the fluxweed on a full moon," Anthony elaborated, grinning at Regulus before averting his eyes down to his own book.

"Damn; that's weeks away. How long is this thing gonna take?" Regulus whined.

"From today...I'd say about a month and a half." Anthony shifted back to where he had been sitting before the interruption and pulled open his book.

"Will's not gonna like that," Regulus sighed.

"Will?"

"Topher's brother. He's the one that wants this in the first place."

"Topher?"

"Topher would be my supposed best mate that just ditched me in the library with a stranger to go chase a bint that isn't interested in him."

Anthony laughed quietly and nodded in understanding. The two sat in silence for a while, both attending to their own books.

After a long ten minutes, Regulus slammed his book closed and sat up. "I'm _not_ wasting my entire Saturday in the damn library. Wanna come hang out in the dungeon? See how we live down out of that big ole tower."

The blonde smirked and tilted his head in compliance. "Sure, sounds interesting. I've never seen another common room before." He marked his page, closed his book over and reached up to remove his glasses. He folded them up carefully and slid them inside the inner pocket of his robes.

"I saw the Gryffindor common room once, back in my first year," Regulus mused as he stood up and straightened out his clothes. "Lots of red and gold. Fluffy chairs, everything was so bright and...cheery. A bit gross, really."

When Anthony stood up, he reach a good half of a foot over the other boy and his build reflected that of a Beater. He stretched out and started for the door. "Let me guess, you and your buddies were causing a bit of trouble for some Gryffindors?" he asked with a smile as he led the way out of the library.

"No," Regulus snapped, slightly offended. "I was...well I was invited by someone I used to know."

"Someone you _used_ to know? You don't know that someone anymore?" Anthony looked over at Regulus with a quizzical expression.

"No, I don't; not really," Regulus answered bitterly. "Sometimes I wonder if I ever really did," he added, biting down hard on his bottom lip; instantly, he felt relief at the familiar taste of blood.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Enter Anthony. *cue dramatic music* Would love to know what every thinks of this helpful Ravenclaw. Leave me some thoughts; whatever they may be. Thanks for reading. :D –Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	6. Always Seeker

**Chapter 6: Always Seeker**

**.**

Regulus sat on the end of Elizabeth's bed, sitting cross legged and facing her. The boy's eyes were staring hard into his lap, his hands twisting and folding beneath his gaze. A look of shame and irritation graced the boy's features. Elizabeth sat up against her headboard, a frown stretched across her lips.

"Maybe I should just go," Regulus finally whispered after a long silence.

"No," Elizabeth whined. She gave the boy a weak attempt at a sympathetic smile. "It's okay; I was just pushing too hard. We don't have to do anything, just stay here and talk to me for a while. I feel like I haven't had any private time with you in weeks."

"Yeah I know," Regulus sighed, not even looking up at the girl. "I've been really busy with the potion and classes."

"Yeah right," she spat, growing even more annoyed with Regulus. "You've had plenty of free time, you're just spending it all with Will, Topher and Anthony." She rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest childishly.

"They're my friends, Elizabeth. You knew that when you started dating me. Topher's my best mate and I'm not gonna ditch him so that I can come in here and have you get attitude with me because I can't give you what you want."

"I know how close you are to Topher; I don't even care when you're just hanging out with him. It's just that I can't stand Will or Anthony." She frowned and scooted closer to her boyfriend on the bed. "Will is such a sick jerk. Did you see what he did to that cat the other day?" She shuddered with disgust.

Regulus let out a small laugh and nodded at Elizabeth. "Yeah, I saw; I was there. Who do you think caught the dang thing?"

"You helped him!" she shrieked, leaning back away from the boy in horror.

"I didn't kill it! I just caught it. No one else was fast enough."

"Well," Elizabeth sneered, "it's good to know that your Seeker talents are being put to good use." She rolled her eyes and turned away from Regulus.

"Cry about it then," Regulus snarled. "It was just a stupid cat. A stray one that no one gives a shit about." He unfolded his legs and started to climb down from Elizabeth's bed.

The girl caught his arm and shook her head quickly. "Don't go. Please."

"Fine," Regulus snapped, shifting back into the place he had been sitting. He patted Elizabeth's hand and pushed it away. "What's your problem with Anthony?"

"What?" Elizabeth asked innocently.

"You said that you can't stand Will _or_ Anthony."

"Oh, well...it's just that..." Elizabeth took a deep breath and dropped her eyes to the bed. "You guys only met him a few weeks ago and he's already like your best mate. Will pulls him around like they're tied together and you and Topher act like he's some sort of genius." She pursed her lips and straightened her posture as she continued. "I mean, he isn't _that_ great. You would think he's slipping you all Amortentia the way you fawn over him." She picked at her already chipped nail polish and refused to look up at Regulus.

"You're jealous," Regulus laughed. "I can't believe that you're jealous of Anthony. Look...the guy's really great and all, but you shouldn't be jealous of a bloke." He leaned forward and gave the girl a small, lingering kiss, then pulled away with a deep breath.

Elizabeth beamed a smile at the boy and tucked a strand of her brown hair back behind her ear. "I'm not jealous," she argued, still smiling. "I just don't like that everyone thinks he's so great and that you spend so much more time with him than me."

"Elizabeth, dear, that's pretty much the definition of jealousy." Regulus smirked at the girl and scooted to the edge of the bed. "You're gonna hate this, but I have to go."

"Why?" she cried out, scowling at the boy.

"Quidditch try-outs."

"Try-outs? Will's the Captain, isn't he? Can't he just _give_ you your spot back?"

"There's two other people trying out for Seeker. He can't just give it to me, that wouldn't be good for the team if he looks like he plays favorites. It's not like I'm worried, I'll wipe the Pitch with those fools." Regulus stood up and adjusted his robes.

"And what if one of those fools catches the Snitch first?" Elizabeth asked, her snarky attitude hanging from every word.

"Then I'll just hex their ass and take my spot back," Regulus answered in an _isn't-that-obvious_ tone. He gave the girl a weak grin and leaned over to give her a quick kiss before heading out to the Pitch.

* * *

After try-outs, Will ran up behind Regulus and Topher and draped his arms around their shoulders as they headed out of the changing room. He quickly dropped his arm from around Regulus before it became uncomfortable, but gave him a huge smile. "I knew you guys would keep your spots. Good thing, too, if you hadn't have been good enough, I'd have had to curse someone."

Will and Topher were both Beaters on the team and the pair were absolutely feared on the Pitch. They had come up with a number of original moves; several of which prompted the addition of rules to ban the moves.

"Yeah, I'm sure you woulda just hated to curse someone," Topher laughed, rolling his eyes.

Will laughed loudly and clapped his brother on the back. "You know me too well," he sighed. "But step to, jerks, don't wanna be late."

"Late for what?" Regulus asked hesitantly, almost afraid to know what the other boy had planned.

"I told Anthony that we'd meet him to work on the potion like...ten minutes ago. So, come on." Will gave both the other boys a shove to get them to walk faster.

"Take it easy; I'm sure your boyfriend has plenty of patience," Topher laughed.

Will rounded on his brother, instantly silencing the boy with his glare. "Just because I like the bloke, that doesn't make me gay," he growled, flaring his nostrils at Topher. He turned back towards the school and silently led the way to the East wing of the fifth floor.

As the trio approached the statue of Gregory the Smarmy, they spotted Anthony on the floor, deep in thought on a book. Regulus kicked at the boy's foot to get his attention while Topher kept watch and Will opened up the secret passageway behind the statue. Anthony looked up and grinned, then stashed his glasses and book inside his robe. Regulus offered his hand to help the other boy out of the floor, which was taken. Once standing, Anthony allowed their hands to linger together a bit longer than either of them had fully intended.

The boys all slipped inside of the passage way and lit the tips of their wands for light as the opening closed back on them. They all gathered around the cauldron and peered down into it with wide eyes a moment before Will retreated to the far corner of the area and took a seat on the floor, holding to his theory that he could ruin the potion merely by standing too close to it.

"Topher, you wanna start chopping these?" Anthony asked, handing the other boy a small bag from their supply table.

Topher nodded and grabbed the bag along with a silver knife and a cutting board. He positioned himself at the end of the small table and dumped out the contents of the bag.

"We need six of them," Anthony added to the boy before turning to Regulus and handing him a glass stir stick. "I need you to stir while I pour this in."

Regulus nodded and took the stirred, then began to cut it through the bubbling mixture as the other boy poured a steady stream of green liquid into the potion. Anthony re-corked the vial and laid his hand over Regulus'. "Do it like this," he whispered, forcing the boy's hand to make slow, smooth circles.

After a few seconds, Regulus felt his heart start to race and his head spin. He dropped the stirrer and jerked his hand away as he stepped back from the cauldron. He ducked his head and closed his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath.

Anthony widened his eyes and grabbed the stirrer before it could slip inside the potion completely and be lost. He looked over at Regulus with a small smirk on his face. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking," he admitted quietly.

"You don't look sorry," Topher argued as he handed the cutting board over to Anthony.

The boy narrowed his eyes and roughly snatched the board from Topher's grip. "Well I am," he snapped. He dumped the choppings into the cauldron with a frown. "People forget things."

"I'm gonna go outside," Regulus muttered as he headed for the exit and pushed it open just enough to see. "I need some fresh air."

"Wait for us," Will called out as he scrambled to his feet and followed the boy into the hallway. "Regulus! Slow the hell down."

The others jogged ahead to catch up with Regulus and all four headed onto the grounds together.

"Let's sit by the lake," Will said in a tone that left no room for argument.

The boys all fell onto the ground at the lake's edge. Will laid out on his back to stare up at the sky while Topher and Anthony sat cross legged on each side of him. Regulus moved closer still to the water, sitting down just out of reach from getting damp. He stared across the water and pulled his knees to his chest. A loud outburst of laughter from a near-by tree drew everyone's attention.

"Regulus, your brother is disgusting," Will scoffed, staring in the direction of Sirius Black and his three close friends, Peter, Remus and James.

Regulus stayed quiet and averted his eyes back to the ground just beyond his feet. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and chewed on it until he could taste blood. He didn't look when he heard someone move to sit beside him.

"Why do you do that?" Anthony whispered.

Regulus cut his eyes towards Anthony and shrugged. "Do what?

"Bite your lip like that. You do it a lot. It's never gonna heal if you keep at it." Anthony turned to face out over the water and pulled at a few blades of grass to his side.

"I don't care if it heals. It's just what I do; I don't know why," Regulus answered, annoyed.

"I know what," Anthony whispered. "It's probably best if you figure it out for yourself though." Before Regulus had a chance to respond, Anthony continued. "I'm sorry about earlier. I really am. I wasn't smiling about upsetting you."

"I know and it isn't a big deal. Topher's just...I don't know. He looks out for me, I guess. Always has." Regulus stared down at the ground between him and Anthony and licked a trace of blood from his lips. "Why were you smiling? I didn't know that you were, but since you mentioned it...I'm curious."

Anthony looked over at Regulus and gave him the same smirk from before. He pressed his lips tightly together and leaned forward a bit. He let his crooked smile spread across his face and licked his lips. "I was thinking," he whispered low enough for only Regulus to hear. "It didn't seem to bother you when you were holding my hand in the hallway before we went into the passageway."

Regulus scowled and opened his mouth to retort, however, he never got the chance, for Will tackled Anthony over onto the ground and began attempting to throw him into the water.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: So, Anthony has become a permanent fixture in the group. Will is particularly fond of him in a non-romantic way, yet it seems that Anthony may be harboring thoughts about Regulus in a less than platonic way. How do you think that this might affect the group's bond? Love it? Hate it? Let me know! :D –Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	7. How it all Started

**Chapter 7: How it all Started**

**.**

Anthony and Elizabeth were sitting on a couch in the Slytherin common room when Regulus, Topher and Will came in from Quidditch practice. The two were having a seemingly calm and friendly chat until Elizabeth spotted her boyfriend, leapt up from the couch and rushed over to the boy. She gave Regulus a quick kiss and took a step back from him, smiling with pride. Regulus smiled back and headed over to the sitting area where Anthony still sat.

"Please tell me that you weren't letting Miss Boring talk your ear off," Will laughed as he dropped onto the couch next to Anthony.

"I'm not boring," Elizabeth defended, sliding into the floor in front of an arm chair where Regulus was sitting down. "I was telling him about my trip over the summer."

"Oh man," Will sighed, shaking his head. "You can't even let her get started like that or she'll never shut the hell up."

Elizabeth cut her eyes up towards Regulus and frowned. "How can you just let him sit there and talk about me like that?" she huffed. "Aren't you supposed to defend me against his sort?"

"You're a big girl," Regulus answered, looking down at Elizabeth disdainfully. He nudged her shoulder with his leg and smirked. "Besides, Will's my friend. I'm not gonna argue with him."

"Not over a bird, that's for sure," Will added with a loud laugh. "Oh...she's gonna cry?" he asked, making and exaggerated and cruel pouty face at Elizabeth.

"I'm not gonna cry," the girl hissed at Will. She folded her arms over her chest and scowled up at Regulus. "I wish that you'd wise up and pick _better_ friends," she snarled.

"Hey!" Topher cried out before leaning forward in his chair and tossing a balled up candy wrapper at Elizabeth.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and pulled the candy wrapper from her hair. "You know I didn't mean you."

"You better not mean me," Topher said with a laugh, leaning back in his chair. "If it wasn't for me, lover boy there wouldn't have made if out of first year."

"I'd have made it just fine," Regulus huffed, shooting a glare over at Topher.

"No way," Will butted in. "Topher saved your ass more than once."

"Oh yeah?" Anthony asked, a bright smile stretched across his lips. He looked over everyone's faces. "How so?" he asked, looking back to Will, eager for elaboration.

"I'll let Topher tell you how these two got started. It's pretty funny." Will pointed to his brother and summoned the package of candy that was in the boy's pocket.

Regulus put his hands over his face and slowly shook his head when Topher leaned forward. "Must you really? No one wants to hear that again," the boy muttered.

"Okay, we were in our first year, about two weeks in," Topher began, completely ignoring Regulus' protest. He put his hands out in front of him to accent his story. "One of the little jerks we were dormed up with was playing with some sort of...what was it?" He snapped his fingers and looked over at Regulus.

"It was a sneakoscope," Regulus answered with a heavy sigh.

"Yeah, a sneakoscope. Well, he's goofing around with it and, some how, it ends up underneath his bed." Topher pointed to Regulus to indicate him as the owner. "So, the little twerp goes over and starts sticking his hand under the bed, trying to find the damn thing. That;s when Regulus here comes in and just hexes the son of a bitch. No questions, _nothing_." The kid stands up, has teeth clear down to his chest. He's freaking out, running around, crying. I'm over in my bed, just laughing my ass off at the whole thing."

"Yeah, it was real funny. Right until his brother showed up." Regulus rolled his eyes.

Topher snorted a laugh and licked his lips. "I'm getting there, shut up," he said, waving his hand at Regulus. He turned his attention back to Anthony. "Okay, so beaver boy goes off and tells big brother what happened. So his brother comes in, I should probably mention that at the time, I was already almost the size I am now and Regulus was about yay high." He held his hand up, indicating a height of about two feet.

"I was not that short," Regulus interrupted, reaching forward and slapping Topher's hand.

"Practically," Topher retorted, laughing. "So anyways, point of the story, big brother comes in thinking he's going to whoop up on shorty over here. I step up, knock the jerk out cold, end of story. That did it, Regulus and I, best mates ever since. Everyone knew after that, they mess with him, they deal with me." He got a very arrogant look on his face and nodded towards his brother. "Will too, of course. No one ever messes with him."

"Hell no they don't." Will threw the package of candy back over to his brother. "They're all scared if they do, I'll slip them something scary."

"Only because you gave Edward that Paranoia Potion in your second year," Topher said, trying to hold back his laughs. "I remember his mum coming to the house. She was so mad, said that he wouldn't take her owls because he was afraid that it was bad news. Dad just threw her out."

Will laughed and nodded his head at the memory. "Yeah. Hell, that jerk wouldn't leave his bed for a solid week. Took two teachers to pull him off of it. "

Anthony held up his hand and got a confused look on his face. "Wait. So you two defend him?" He pointed to Regulus. "That's why you're friends?"

"No," Topher answered quickly. "That was what _started_ our friendship. He doesn't need defending now. If anything, people are more scared of what he can do with his wand than what we can do with our fists."

Regulus got a very smug smile on his face and ran his tongue over his teeth. "No one really thinks it's worth messing with the short kid when they hear what I did to Evan."

"Oh, geez, not that." Elizabeth sighed heavily and looked down into her lap. "My brother didn't deserve that and he still has nightmares about it."

Will rolled his eyes and sneered at Elizabeth before turning back to Anthony. "The little bitch did deserve it. He should have just walked away, but he wanted to look like a big shot and got all mouthy at Regulus. So, he got taught a little lesson."

"What did you do?" Anthony asked hesitantly, slightly put off by the overly sinister smiles donning the faces of the other three boys.

Regulus leaned forward to answer but Will beat him to it. "It was so great. He used the _I__ncarcerous_ curse to lash Evan to a tree. Then...oh man, he starts conjuring up all of these little tiny spiders and made them crawl all over the jerk. Evan was screaming and crying, pissed his pants even. It was something to see, I'll tell ya. They were crawling in his mouth, going up his nose. It was so awesome."

Anthony shuddered at the thought and looked over at Regulus with a fallen face. "Did you get away with it?" he asked, swallowing back air.

"No, not at all," Regulus answered with a smirk. "Two solid months of detention but it was worth it."

"When was this? I don't remember hearing about it," Anthony asked.

"Third year for us," Elizabeth answered, glaring up at her boyfriend. "It was a really horrible thing to do. You knew that he was scared of spiders, you saw his boggart, but you went there anyways. It was the kind of sick thing that I would expect from Will."

Topher scoffed and raised his eyebrows. "If you thought it was such a sick thing to do, then why have you been up his ass ever since?"

Elizabeth put on a dignified face and licked her lips. "I went to see him because I wanted to call him a total jack ass for what he did to my brother and demand he apologize. It was just that...when I was yelling at him, I got...distracted."

Regulus smirked and sat up straight. "Yeah, distracted by my...how did you put it? Enchanting eyes." He let out a quiet laugh when Elizabeth slapped his knee.

"Shut up," she squealed. "You aren't supposed to share our private talks."

Regulus shook his head slowly, still laughing at her, and repositioned himself to sit sideways in the chair.

"So, that was how you two got together?" Anthony asked in a rather dry tone.

"Nope, I had to chase after him for a year before he would give me the time of day. Too many other girls all after his attention." Elizabeth smiled and looked up at Regulus with arrogant eyes.

"I see," Anthony said with a grin and nodded slowly.

"No, you don't. It wasn't like that," Regulus said, his tone reflecting annoyance. "I mean, yes, there were a couple of other girls trying to make a move, but it wasn't me. Elizabeth is the first girl I've dated. I wasn't interested in those other girls. I just wasn't interested in her either."

Elizabeth gaped at him and made a small gasp.

"Oh, don't give me that look," Regulus bit at her. "You know very well that I didn't like you when I met you. I'm with you now though, right. That's all that matters."

Elizabeth shrugged and stood up. "Yeah, I guess. All that talk of my brother made me remember though, I was supposed to meet him, like, twenty minutes ago." She leaned over and gave Regulus a quick kiss before skipping out of the common room.

"If you ask me, you should have stuck with the not liking her thing." Will laughed and made a sour face. "I don't know what you two see in that girl, she makes me gag. Her brother is disgusting and her mum is nothing more than a Mudblood. You know that your parents aren't gonna let you stay with her, right?"

"Yeah, I know," Regulus said with a nod. "I think they might though, with her dad moving up in the ministry and all, you never know."

Anthony smiled over at Regulus and met his eyes. "I think she's nice, really," he said, ignoring the disgusted scowl coming from Will.

Regulus dropped his eyes away and shrugged. "She's okay, I guess."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Okay, so now you know how the group got itself together and how Elizabeth and Regulus started dating. If you're cringing at the thought of what Regulus did to Evan, good, you should cringe. Just think, if he could do that at 13, imagine what he will be capable of down the line. Spiders are so creepy. I got shivers picturing that scene. Thanks for reading. Send me some love...or hate. Either way. -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	8. Distractions of Macbeth

**Chapter 8: Distractions of Macbeth**

**.**

Regulus sat on the floor in the furthest corner of the passageway behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy. The boy was leaned over a half filled bit of parchment, his eyes darting towards his History of Magic book every after few sentences. The sound of the passageway opening overshadowed the gentle rumble of the bubbling Polyjuice Potion in the middle of the space.

"Sorry I'm late," Anthony muttered as he stepped inside and closed the opening behind himself. "Got held up in Ancient Runes, then I had to wait for a group of third years to clear the hallway."

"No problem," Regulus answered without even looking up from his work. "Just gave me more time to finish this essay for Binns."

Anthony slid his bag from his shoulder and let it drop to the floor slowly then slipped on his glasses. He knelt down beside Regulus and put his hand on the ground just next to the essay to hold his weight as he leaned over the boy and peered down at the writing. Regulus closed his eyes and focused on keeping himself calm, not wanting to make a situation out of the other boy's proximity.

"Looks good," Anthony whispered. "Only problem is you have your dates wrong. This one should be fourteen-eighty-three and this one, fifteen-twenty-eight." He turned his face towards Regulus and grinned. "Do I need to move?"

"Just a bit; if you don't mind." Regulus took a deep cleansing and opened his eyes as felt the boy shift away from him. He quickly made the changes to his essay, guessing at which ones had been wrong since his eyes were closed. "It's nothing against you. You know that right?" he asked, cutting his eyes towards the other boy.

"I know," Anthony answered simply. He smiled softly and locked his eyes with Regulus'. "I don't take it personally. You'll just have to forgive the fact that I'm going to keep trying." He raised his eyebrows playfully and reached towards Regulus' hand. He couldn't help but laugh quietly when the other boy dropped his quill and jerked his hands away. Anthony picked up the cast away quill and pulled the boy's essay over in front of himself. After making the proper changes to the dates, he slid them back.

"Thanks," Regulus whispered. "For this I mean," he added, tapping on his essay.

"No big deal," Anthony answered as he stowed his glasses back into his robe pocket. He gave the other boy a crooked smile and looked around the passageway. "Just us today? I thought Will would be excited for the bottling."

"He was excited." Regulus stuffed his book and essay into his bag and climbed to his feet. "He and Topher got hauled off to Dumbledore's office. Some of the professors at this school don't exactly agree with Will's particular style of humor."

"What did he do?" Anthony asked hesitantly as he stood up and straightened his robes out.

Regulus laughed quietly and peered down into the rolling cauldron. "Nothing too bad. If you ask me, it was Davies' fault. Granted, Will ran into _him_, but he shoulda just brushed it off and went on his way. But nope, every once in a while one of the little Mudbloods think they can hold their own."

"Did he hurt him?" Anthony asked quickly, his eyes reflecting worry.

Regulus stared at the other boy in contemplation for a moment before shaking his head. "I forgot, he's in your House, isn't he?" When Anthony nodded, Regulus looked away. "He didn't hurt him. Will is more of a _humiliate_ _and_ _degrade_ type. He likes to make examples out of people."

"You didn't get in trouble too?"

"No! Nothing in the rules against laughing. The old bat couldn't touch me." Regulus folded his arms and watched in silence as Anthony finished the potion. He peered down into the calming mixture and smirked. "Is it done?"

"Yeah. All that's left is to add a bit of who you wanna change in to. That can be done at any time though." Anthony handed the other boy a few uncorked bottles. "Hold them still while I pour."

After the two bottled up the potion, tidied the work space and finished Regulus' History of Magic essay, they slipped into the hallway, careful not to get seen by any wandering students.

"I have to take a book back to the library. You wanna come along?" Regulus asked as the two started down the hall. The obvious look on Anthony's face made Regulus grin. "Of course you do. Don't know why I even bothered to ask."

The two walked to the library in silence. Once inside, Regulus headed to the desk to return his book while Anthony made his way to the back, taking his usual spot on the corner couch. Regulus rolled his eyes at the librarians attempt to berate him for returning the book late, then joined Anthony in the back. He dropped his bag onto the floor and flopped down onto the couch a little ways from the other boy, who was already wearing his glasses and deep into his book.

Regulus cast a few curious glances over at the book before scooting closer to Anthony in an effort to investigate. Still unable to make out the words, he scooted as close as he could allow himself, almost to the point of touching Anthony's shoulder. He stared down at the book and scoffed.

"How can you read that? It doesn't make sense," Regulus insisted, grabbing the book from the other boy and folding it closed to see the cover. "Macbeth? Never heard of it."

"I'd imagine not," Anthony answered in a dry tone. He shifted over slightly towards Regulus and pressed his shoulder into the other boy's. "It's a Muggle book."

Regulus pulled a disgusted face and handed the book back over to Anthony in a way that would resemble handling a dead cat or something that spoiled in your kitchen. "Why would you be reading something like that?"

"Don't look at it like that," Anthony said with a smirk. He held the book close and shook his head. "You know...I think you might actually like this book if you gave it a chance." Upon receiving another disgusted look from the other boy, he laughed quietly. "I'm serious. It's about this Scottish bloke, Macbeth, who is pretty close to the King. He runs across these three witches – Not our type of witches. They're a sort of gross stereotyping of what Muggles see witches as. Well, they tell him that he's going to be the King some day."

"So they aren't just witches, they're Seers?" Regulus interrupted.

"I suppose you can say that. Like I said, they aren't exactly the most accurate things in the book. Muggles have a bit of a twisted idea of what witches are." Anthony tapped the book and shifted again, pressing harder into Regulus' arm. "It's basically about Macbeth and his wife deciding if they should murder the King in order to get him the throne."

Regulus raised his eyebrows at Anthony and let a slow smile cross his face. "Do they? Murder the King, I mean. Does he get the throne?" He licked over his bottom lip and let his eyes dart between the other boy and the book.

"Tell you what," Anthony began as he handed the book over to Regulus. "Why don't you just read it and find out for yourself?"

"Don't you wanna finish it first?" Regulus asked, hesitantly reaching for the book.

"I've read it many times already," Anthony answered with a smile.

Anthony watched as Regulus ran his hands over the worn out cover and flipped through the beaten pages. "How am I supposed to read this? It's written all weird."

"It's easier than you think. After the first scene is over, you'll barely notice the difference. Trust me on this one...you'll like it."

"I trust you," Regulus said quickly, feeling his face grow slightly hot. "I just think that you over estimate my intelligence, is all."

"Don't even start that. You're plenty smart." Anthony reached over and closed the book. "Just hold onto it and read it when there isn't a lot of noise or anyone else around."

Regulus nodded slowly and let out a cynical laugh. "Can't read it around Will anyways. He'd have a damn fit. You're lucky that he hasn't caught you; he'd be fuming."

Anthony smirked, but his eyes betrayed a level of worry. "Yeah, I seem to be doing a number of things that haven't been caught. This for example," he said, leaning harder against Regulus' shoulder.

"No, I caught that," Regulus said with a grin. He leaned forward and stashed the book in his bag then scooted down the couch a bit and turned to face Anthony. "You were just keeping me distracted with all the book talk. Distraction helps sometimes."

"I'll remember that," Anthony said casually as he reached up and pulled off his glasses. He slipped them in his robe pocket and turned back towards Regulus.

"What's your deal? Why do you care if you can touch me or not?" Regulus made a confused face and twisted his fingers into the hem of his shirt. "I swear you sound like Elizabeth sometimes."

"Was that a legitimate question or just a casual observation? If it was a real question then I'd happily answer it." Anthony put his arm on the back of the couch and locked his eyes with Regulus'.

Regulus swallowed hard and dropped his gaze to his lap. "It was a casual observation," he answered in a whisper. He tightened his jaw and bit down hard on his bottom lip.

"I wish you wouldn't do -" Anthony was cut off by a large boy grabbing him around the chest and throwing him to the floor. "Will, you ass. You're gonna get me chucked out of here."

Will laughed and helped Anthony to his feet. "Yeah, yeah. What would you do without the library?"

The librarian poked her head around the shelves and gave the boys an unmistakable _shut_ _up_ look. Will held up his hands in surrender and motioned for Regulus to move so that he could sit next to Anthony. Regulus moved to the other couch and sat next to Topher, who would not look up at him.

"Is the potion ready?" Will asked quietly.

"Sure is," Regulus answered.

"Great! I was up all night working out the details. We're gonna do it at the Halloween feast in two weeks. Anthony, you've got classes with that Mudblood, can you get the hair from her?" Will gave the younger boy a hopeful smile.

"I can try," he answered, not meeting Will's eyes.

"Fantastic," Will said, draping his arm around Anthony's shoulders. "Damn, I'm glad these two are dumb enough to not know their plants. Where the hell would we be without you?"

* * *

**A Note From the Author: For those of you who have no experience with Macbeth, I suggest you you either read it, or at the very least, see the movie. Full of a Slytherin's number one trait: Ambition. Thanks for reading so far. Would love to hear your thoughts! :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	9. Halloween Trickery & Betrayal

**Chapter 9: Halloween Trickery & Betrayal**

**.**

Elizabeth's back was pressed hard against the wall in her room. Tears streamed down the girl's face and she gasped for breath. She stared wide-eyed at the red-headed girl before her; a wand pointed straight in her face.

"You loud mouthed bitch!" Lily Evans screamed at Elizabeth. Granted, this was not the real Lily Evans. It was merely Will under the influence of the Polyjuice Potion.

"I'm sorry!" Elizabeth choked out through her tears. "I didn't mean to. Evan promised me that he wouldn't tell Severus. It's him that you should be aiming that damn thing at!"

"If it weren't for you, he wouldn't have known to tell in the first pl-" The red-head stopped speaking and put her hands to her face. She stumbled back, disoriented by the potion's effects starting to wear off.

Regulus and Topher rushed into the room just as Will had fully transformed back into himself. They fought back their laughter at the sight of seeing Will in a skirt. The two regained their composure and attended to their reason for being there. Topher stopped in front of his brother and put his hands up as a shield while Regulus stood in front of Elizabeth.

"Regulus," Will yelled, raising his wand to point at Elizabeth. "I'm gonna hurt the bitch. I only had my suspicions that she was the one who blew our plan, but she just confessed to it! She told her stupid ass brother and he told that grease ball!"

"It was just a stupid prank." Topher grabbed onto his brother's arm and forced the boy to lower his wand. "It isn't a big deal. So we can't prank Snape, we still have more potion and several hours left to Halloween. Let's just go mess with someone else." He used as calm of a tone as he could manage, especially considering that he was angry with Elizabeth as well.

Will gave his brother a small smile and sighed. "You're right. I'm gonna go change, then...we can find a different victim. Maybe a friend of yours," he directed the final line towards Elizabeth and sneered at the girl before he and his brother walked out of the room.

"Thank you so much for defending me," Elizabeth growled with sarcasm as she wiped at her face to rid it of the tears. She sat down on the edge of her bed and peered up at Regulus.

"Why would I defend you?" he asked, anger dripping from his words. "You think that all you did was spoil some stupid prank? If your stupid brother or Snape goes and tells Dumbledore about us having that potion, then me and Topher would be in big trouble." He shook his head and sighed in exhaustion. "It took a long time and a lot of schmoozing to earn Slughorn's trust. If your big mouth blows that for us...then we're done."

"What?" Elizabeth jumped up and tried to stop her boyfriend from walking away, but he stepped around her and pushed out of the room.

Regulus considered trying to find Will and Topher, but decided on heading to his own room instead. He sat down on the edge of his bed and opened his night stand drawer to retrieve the book stashed there. He laid back, resting his head on his pillow, and pulled open _Macbeth_, holding it over himself to read.

Anthony had been right, he noted, about the book being easier understand after a little while. At first, Regulus had been thrown by the play format but that was easy to get past. He actually found himself preferring it, because there was less to read and it was all active dialogue. Anthony had also been right in telling Regulus that he would enjoy the book. The boy was finding it harder and harder to put away every night.

Regulus was so focused on his reading that he didn't even hear Elizabeth come into the room. He had no idea she was standing over him until the girl looked down and said, "Why are you reading a Muggle book?" Her tone was amused as she folded her arms over her chest and cast a surprised look down on the boy.

Regulus jumped at the sound of her voice and sat up quickly, causing himself to the drop the book into his lap. "Damn it, couldn't you knock? Or wear a bell or something! You shouldn't just sneak up on people like that." He gave the girl an angry look. His heard raced and he clutched his hand to his chest, breathing deeply for relief.

"I didn't mean to startle you, but you didn't answer my question." Elizabeth sat down on the boy's bed and reached for the book.

Regulus swatted her hand away and narrowed his eyes at her. "It isn't," he said defensively, quickly glancing down at his lap to ensure that the cover wasn't showing.

Elizabeth scoffed at the boy and shook her head. "Don't you lie to me, you jerk. I saw it! William Shakespeare is a Muggle author, I'm in Muggle Studies, remember? I don't care if you read it, I was just surprised, is all."

Regulus eyed the girl with suspicion and tightened his jaw. "You better not say anything to Will."

"I have no intention of saying _anything_ to Will. _Ever_. For _any_ reason." Elizabeth made a quick grab for the book and looked down at it. "Macbeth, huh? I remember the Professor mentioning this one."

Regulus snatched the book out of Elizabeth's hands and slid it underneath his pillow. "Keep your hands off of my stuff," he grumbled, throwing the girl an annoyed look.

"Soooorrrrry." Elizabeth rolled her eyes at him and pursed her lips. "Where did you get it anyways? From Anthony, I bet. He's always reading something. I guess he isn't that bad if he's getting you to read a book like that."

"It's none of your damn business where I got it. Now, what do you want, why are you here?"

"I came in here to tell you that I'm sorry for spilling about your guys' plan. I didn't mean to tell Evan, it just sort of slipped out when he was asking about Anthony." Elizabeth pulled her hair over her shoulder and started combing through it with her fingers. "If they do say something to Slughorn, then I'll take the blame. I'll say that I made the potion and gave it to Will."

Regulus raised an eyebrow at his girlfriend and smirked. "Okay. Sounds good, but your best bet is telling your brother that if he or Snape rats us out, I'll make him pay. He won't lay his head on a pillow that isn't full of spiders. He'll have to spend everyday of the next two years having someone check his bag, turn down his bed and even open his toothpaste."

Elizabeth got a horrified look on her face and shuddered. "You're kidding, right? You wouldn't really do that to him. That sounds a bit like over kill to me."

"Over kill," Regulus repeated with a nod. "I like the sound of that. I'm good with _over kill_. Certainly makes a point, plus, it would keep anyone else from making the same mistake. Let him know that I am very excited about the idea of...over kill." An eerie smile crossed his face and he took a deep breath. His eyes locked onto Elizabeth's, showing her that he was serious.

Elizabeth looked away from the boy and twisted her hands in her lap. "He won't tell, I promise."

"Why was he asking about Anthony?" Regulus asked. Once he saw the confused look on her face, he elaborated. "You said that it just slipped out when he was asking about Anthony. What was he asking?"

"Oh," Elizabeth said, tossing her hair back behind her shoulder. "He was just asking about how you all met him. It was kinda weird, he said that he was surprised that you guys would hang out with a guy like Anthony."

"What about Anthony?" Will interrupted as he entered the room with Topher on his heels.

Regulus answered for Elizabeth. "Evan seems to think that it's weird we would hang out with him."

Will glared down at Elizabeth, not even bothering to hide his look of contempt and disgust. "Hey, who gives a damn if he's a Ravenclaw or a smarty? The guy has a lot of potential. I can see a future behind the Dark Lord for him. He just needs to get rid of those pesky morals, right?" He laughed loudly and clapped Topher on the back. He didn't wait for a response before turning his attention to Regulus. "Come on, ditch this cow and come with us. We need you to keep Thomas busy so that he can't come in while I'm pretending to be him."

Regulus stood up, ignoring the glare from Elizabeth, and straightened out his clothes. "Sounds like a whole mess of fun. Distract the most boring kid in our damn House? Sure," he said, rolling his eyes. "He can show me his rock collection," he added with a patronizing snort.

Will and Topher headed back out of the room and Regulus snapped his fingers at Elizabeth, motioning for her to go first. He quickly grabbed the book from under his pillow and stashed it back in his drawer.

* * *

Later that night, Regulus climbed into bed and pulled the book back out of his night stand. He was about to close the curtains when Topher dropped onto the bed in front of him.

"Going to sleep already? How can you be tired? I'm still all hyped up." Topher bounced on his bed and smiled over at the other boy.

"Yeah, well you didn't have to spend an hour and a half listening to the difference between quartz and granite, now did you?" Regulus sighed heavily and pushed on Topher's shoulder. "Go, I'm tired."

"Yeah, guess not. I wish you coulda' been with us. If you had seen the looks on those girls faces when Will did that! You'd have laughed like mad." Topher stood up and shook his head. "Thomas might end up with a few dates out of the deal. He should really thank us," he added, laughing.

Regulus rolled his eyes and got up onto his knees. "I'm sure thanking you will be his first instinct when he finds out what you did."

Topher jumped onto his own bed and continued laughing.

"Topher, next Halloween, take it easy on the candy." Regulus quickly dodged the pillow that flew at him, then dodged it again as Topher summoned it back to his bed.

"Where was Anthony tonight?" Topher asked, trying to stop the bouncing.

"How should I know?" Regulus answered with mock anger. "Will is the one who is always up his ass." The last bit had a bit more real anger than he had intended.

"Sorry, I don't know. I just figured you might know where he was because...you know what, never mind." Topher fell back onto his bed, clearly still jittery. "You've just been hanging around him a lot lately, is all."

"Oh great, now you're jealous just like Elizabeth," Regulus said with a laugh and Topher flipped him the finger. "I'm kidding, jerk." He reached up and closed his curtains then lit his wand.

"People don't sleep with their wands lit, jerk. I can see that." Topher reached up and closed his own curtains.

Regulus fell asleep that night with the open book and lit wand still in his hands.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Elizabeth shows her true colors as a Slytherin here by offering up her brother in her place. Gotta love her for that. Also, nothing like a little murder and betrayal to make a boy fall asleep with a book. Such a dreamy image there. Reviews are love, send me some! Thanks. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	10. The Weaknesses of Man

**Chapter 10: The Weaknesses of Man**

**.**

Near the end of November, Regulus headed straight for the library after his final class of the day. He was quite sure he'd find he who he sought, but was disappointed. With a small frown, the boy made his way to the Ravenclaw tower and stood in front of the bronze eagle head, gaping at its riddle.

"Are you looking for Anthony?" a female voice cooed from behind him.

Regulus turned around and smiled at the petite blonde whom he recognized from around school but couldn't put a name to. "Yeah, I am," he answered. "Do you know if he's here?"

The girl shrugged and turned towards the eagle. "I guess we'll just have to see." She quickly answered the knocker's question and waved her hand for Regulus to follow her into the common room. Once inside, she turned back to the boy and smiled. "Do you know where his room is or do you need me to show you?"

Regulus couldn't help but be distracted by the Ravenclaw common room. He only half-heard the girl as his eyes took in the room's decor. "What? Sorry, um...I don't know where it is." He gave the blonde a desperate look and shrugged.

"Follow me then." The girl led the way to the staircase and started up it. "I'm Sarah by the way, if you wanted to know, which I'm sure you did." She looked back over her shoulder and smirked.

"I'm Regulus," he answered with a blank stare.

"I know that," Sarah giggled.

"It's really nice of you to help me out. I just hope he's up here and I haven't wasted your time." Regulus was trying hard to be polite to the girl despite how off-putting she was.

Sarah came to a stop and turned inside of an open room. Looking around, they found it to be empty. "Looks like he isn't here," she sighed. "I don't consider it a waste of time, though. I was glad to finally meet you. I've asked Anthony to introduce me to you several times now. He keeps putting it off." She took an aggressive step towards Regulus and tried to put her hands on the boy's chest.

Regulus took a step back, making it so that she couldn't touch him, and put his hands up as a shield. "I have a girlfriend. Elizabeth. She's pretty damn mean and I don't think she's like you touching me."

"So; she never has to know," Sarah insisted, throwing the boy a flirtatious smile.

"What are you doing?" Another girl stepped into the room and positioned herself in front of Sarah. She threw a glare back towards Regulus and tilted her nose up.

"I was helping Regulus find Anthony," Sarah answered, winking at the boy over her friend's shoulder.

"Anthony's on his way up here now; I just saw him downstairs. He doesn't need your help anymore, come on." The girl tugged Sarah's arm and frowned at the way the blonde was smiling at Regulus. "Sarah, stop flirting with him. He has a girlfriend...and he's a total jerk."

"Hey," Regulus snapped at the girl, not really able to come up with any more of a retort, considering she was completely right.

"Ladies," Anthony greeted them as he stepped up behind Regulus.

Sarah pulled from the other girl's grip and took a step towards the boys. "I was just getting to know your friend."

"Actually, we were just leaving," the other butted in before pulling Sarah from the room.

"See you later, gorgeous," Sarah called out as she disappeared from view.

Regulus stared after the girl with a look of shock on his face. "Thank you for not introducing me to her sooner." He turned towards Anthony and met his eyes with a grin. "She's a bit intense, isn't she?"

"You think so?" Anthony asked casually. "I didn't introduce you because I thought you might like her." He headed over to one of the three beds in the room and dropped down onto it. "So, what brings you to the tower?" he asked with a big crooked smile.

Regulus dug into the pocket of his robes and pulled out a book, then waved it towards Anthony. "I'm finished," he said, disappointment in his voice, as he took a seat next to the other boy.

"You didn't like the book?" Anthony guessed.

"No, I liked it. A lot actually." Regulus looked down at the cover and mindlessly fluttered the pages. He took a deep breath and frowned. "There was just one thing that bothered me."

"Let me guess, you fancied yourself a bit like Macbeth and didn't like that he died." Anthony reached out and nudged Regulus' knee so that the boy would look up.

"No," Regulus answered, looking up and licking droplets of blood from his lip. "Well, yes, that bit pissed me off a little, but what really bothered me was Lady Macbeth. When her son said -" he opened the book to a marked page and read from it "- 'tis thought by self and violent hands, took off her life -" he closed the book back and looked up at the other boy "- does that mean what I think it does?"

"If you think it means that she killed herself, then yes. It's widely believed that is what he meant." Anthony rubbed his thumb over Regulus' bottom lip to wipe away the red collected there. He reached down and wiped it off on the hem of his slacks. "Why does that part bother you so much?"

Regulus took a few seconds to collect himself before answering. "Well," he started, his voice full of hesitation. "At first I really liked her. You said that I fancied myself a bit like Macbeth, but it was her that I saw myself as. What I want to be." He looked away and ran his tongue over his teeth. "She was so...sure and decisive. She knew exactly what she wanted. The moment that she was even presented with a possibility of being Queen, she latched on to it."

"Sounds like a Slytherin," Anthony muttered.

"Exactly," Regulus said, his eyes brimming with eagerness. "She would have made a great Slytherin. I'm sure that you meant that as an insult towards her, but I see it the other way. She was bloody brilliant. She saw what she wanted and she was willing to do anything to get it. Emasculated her husband, schemed, killed, framed, anything it took. It worked too." He shook his head in annoyance and sighed quietly. "Then she goes and ruins it. She got exactly what she wanted and then she got all...mental. The blood and the babbling and..." He closed his eyes and shook his head again.

"Regulus," Anthony sighed, his tone very serious and even. "She went mental because she felt badly for what she'd done." He put his hand under Regulus' chin and lifted the boy's face to see him. "Look at me," he whispered. He dropped his hand, took a deep breath and continued. "She lost her mind because she felt guilty over causing the deaths of so many people. The weight of her actions was too much for her conscience to bear."

"She was a fool," Regulus bit, staring into Anthony's eyes. "Her mind broke because she was weak. A conscience, as you referred to, it isn't real. It's just a little voice in your head that whispers to you. It's what makes you think that you should say sorry when you bump into someone that you don't know. It's the voice that tells you to correct the shop keep when they give you too much change. It's the weak and pathetic part of your brain that tells you it isn't okay to take what you want because it might hurt someone else." Regulus made a stern face and was about to continue, but Anthony interrupted.

"It isn't weakness to be mindful of others. A person can't go through life killing and scheming to get what they want." Anthony looked down into his lap and closed his eyes.

"Of course they can," Regulus argued in a very casual tone. "Honestly, the only thing that stands in someone's way is their..._conscience_. If you can see that voice for what it is, nothing more than weakness, then you can learn to silence it." He scooted closer to Anthony and rose up on his knees. "Don't you see that if you can be stronger than some whispers of regret and some fictitious guideline of what is right and wr-"

"Stop," Anthony whispered. He looked up at Regulus, tears gleaming in his eyes. "Please, don't...don't talk like that."

Regulus looked down at Anthony with a worried look on his face. His hand flinched, almost involuntarily, towards the boy's face, but he caught himself and pulled it back. "I'll shut up, okay? Just don't do that."

"Do what?" Anthony closed his eyes swallowed hard. He took a few ragged breaths in an attempt to steady himself.

Regulus climbed off of the bed and folded his arms over his chest. "I can't be around you if you're gonna...do that. If you're going to cry then I...need to leave." He pressed his lips tightly together.

Anthony raised his eyebrows and looked over at Regulus. "Are you serious? You can't be around someone if they're crying?" The boy's eyes were still touched with wet, but a new level of anger was pushing it away. "You're gonna stand there and act like you've never cried before?"

Regulus stood a little straighter and licked his lips. "I'm sure that as an infant I cried the same as any other, but I've certainly not done it since I obtained the mental capacity to refrain from it."

"You sound like a professor," Anthony snorted. "Where did you get that line from? Some sort of Slytherin code book?" he sneered coldly. He stood up and stared down the other boy.

"My father used to say it to my brother a lot when he was acting like a fool. Crying is a sign of weakness, there's no reason for it." Regulus took a step back and looked up at Anthony, confusion crossing his face. "Are you...are you angry at me?"

Anthony shook his head and gritted his teeth together. "You've basically said that my inability to murder someone, or by the off chance that I ever did, that feeling badly about it afterward, are both signs of weakness in my character. Furthermore, if I happen to cry over something, that is just another point of weakness for me. So to answer your question, _yes_." He nodded his head and closed the gap between him and Regulus. "I am very angry at you," he whispered, his eyes locked on Regulus'.

Regulus rubbed his lips together and blinked rapidly a few times. "Okay," he whispered.

"All you can say is okay?"

"What else do you want me to say? I could tell you that I'm sorry, but it wouldn't be true. I have no problem with lying, but I really don't..._want_ to lie to you. I just gave you my honest opinion and it sucks that it made you angry but I -"

"Maybe we should change the subject," Anthony whispered, running his fingers over the edge of the opening in Regulus' robes, his eyes focused on his hand. "Just say anything different."

"Are you still coming to Hogsmeade with us tomorrow?" Regulus asked, tensing up.

"Of course," Anthony answered, giving him a crooked smile and stepping away.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: I am curious as to how you guys feel about Regulus right now. What do you think about his attitude? Do you think a little love can change his mind? Reviews are love, send me some! Thanks. :D -Jenna**

**"-'tis thought by self and violent hands, took off her life-" Malcolm – Act 5, Scene 8**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	11. Theories of Operation

**Chapter 11: Theories of Operation**

**.**

The Three Broomsticks was crawling with students, all trying to get to the bar for a drink or find an empty table. The noise level was steadily increasing due to everyone's attempts to talk over each other. The man behind the bar was frantically filling mugs of butterbeer and occasionally having to tell a student that he would not sell them Firewhiskey or anything like it. Two bar maids made their way around the crowded room delivering drinks, carrying away empty glasses and cleaning tables.

Will pushed his way through the crowd, clearing the way for the group trailing behind him. He stood guard over a table near the back as it was being cleaned, making it clear that it was to be theirs when finished. The table, meant for four, soon became surrounded by Will, Topher, Regulus, Anthony, Elizabeth and a tall brunette by the name of Amber, who stared at Will as though he were made of pure gold. Topher and Regulus stood until stools near-by became available and then snagged them.

The group ordered a round of butterbeers and began to shed their heavy coats, for the pub was more than warm enough to go without them. They all sipped at their drinks and chatted, all except Amber, who didn't chat so much as make an occasional squeak whenever Will looked directly at her. When the group was receiving their second round of drinks, a very dignified look crossed Will's face and he sat up straight in his seat.

"Good to see you, Professor Slughorn. I hope you are doing well," Will said politely.

At the sound of the Professor's name, Regulus and Topher sat up straight and faced him, similar looks of feigned interest and admiration crossing their faces. "Hello, Sir," they said in unison, flashing their most charming smiles.

"Hello boys, hello ladies," Professor Slughorn said, stepping up to the table between Regulus and Anthony. "I'm good, very good. How are all of you?" His words were slightly slurred, indicating that he had been at the bar for some time already.

Everyone at the table gave generic and polite versions of saying that they were doing well, except Will, who went one step further. "We would be doing much better if you were to share one of your stories, that's for sure," he said, flashing the man an exaggerated smile. "Right guys?" he added, meeting the eyes of his brother, then Regulus.

Topher was quick to agree, but Regulus, who was already feeling quite uncomfortable with how close the Professor was standing to him, shook his head. "Now, Will," he said quietly. "If he gives you a story now, he won't have one to tell at the Christmas party." He looked up and gave Slughorn a forced and nervous smile, mentally pleading for the man to back up.

"Nonsense," Slughorn said, patting Regulus on the back, causing him to close his eyes and make a pained face. "I have plenty of stories, but sadly, I just don't have the time to regail you all right now. I just wanted to say a quick hello."

"Such a shame," Elizabeth said, mimicking the boy's mannerisms.

Will looked over at Elizabeth and gave her a cold glare, then quickly returned to smiling flatteringly at the Professor. "I suppose that I'll simply be forced to wait, then."

Slughorn nodded and dropped his hand from Regulus' back, however the boy continued to keep his eyes closed and his head down. Slughorn moved his eyes over everyone at the table, lingering on the ladies. "Will you two ladies be accompanying these gentlemen to my party?"

Elizabeth beamed and nodded excitedly, clutching her hands around Regulus' upper arm. Upon receiving a cutting look from him, she dropped her hands back into her lap. Amber turned a questioning gaze to Will, who put his arm around her shoulders and gave a small nod, prompting another excited squeak from her.

Everyone gave a goodbye to Slughorn and waited for him to stumble out of sight before speaking, well, laughing at him then speaking.

"I am actually looking forward to the dinner party," Elizabeth said, moving her finger through the foam on the top of her butterbeer.

Will rolled his eyes, but actually refrained from saying anything cruel. Instead, he slipped his free arm around Anthony and gave him a small shake. "Your first Slughorn party. Are you excited?" he asked, dropping his arm back down and picking up his glass.

Anthony looked up at Will and laughed quietly. "I'm not going. I have a...previous commitment."

Will frowned and raised his eyebrows. "What previous commitment?"

Anthony looked down into his drink and smirked. "The commitment that I made with myself to never attend one of that man's parties."

Everyone laughed, including Will. The look on Will's face, when his laughing ceased, made it clear that he wasn't going to drop the idea, though.

Wanting to change the subject, Anthony cleared his throat and looked over at Regulus. He opened his mouth to speak, but turned to Will quickly before doing so. "I was wondering, since I didn't really know you guys last Christmas, what do you all do as far as -"

"Nothing," Will said, putting his glass back down on the table. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and smiled. "As far as gifts, you were gonna ask?" Receiving a nod from Anthony, he continued. "We operate under the theory that it is better to just not gift each other. I mean, you waste all of that time picking them out, then you have to pretend to like the crap that you get."

Regulus and Topher nodded silently, their eyes locked on the table.

"Damn it, Topher, we're busted," Will said in a panicked voice, pulling his arm from around Amber's shoulders and putting his hands in front of his face. "It's McGonagall."

Topher's eyes widened and he threw a glance behind him at the seething woman who was approaching the table.

"Misters Mulciber. I was _very_ clear that the two of you would not be allowed to come today," Professor McGonagall stated firmly, not caring that her volume was attracting attention from everyone around them. "You two stand up and come back to the school, this instant." She stamped her foot slightly and snapped her fingers at them.

Amber slipped away as McGonagall noisily escorted Will and Topher from the Three Broomsticks. Anthony scooted into Will's empty seat so that he could face Elizabeth and Regulus.

"Why weren't they supposed to come today?" Anthony asked. He drained his glass and arranged the empties on the edge of the table.

"They've done something despicable again, I'd imagine," Elizabeth said, trying to sound as cool as possible.

"It wasn't...despicable," Regulus said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Certainly not," Elizabeth retorted with sarcasm. "I suppose next you're going to say that whoever they did it to deserved it, yes?"

Regulus opened his mouth, but closed it again without speaking. He leaned forward a bit, twisting his hands in his lap. He threw a quick glance up at Anthony then moved his eyes to Elizabeth. "It wasn't another person that they did it to. More like...people." His words came out hesitant.

Elizabeth made a scoffing sound into her glass. "Let me guess, they did something to a bunch of Gryffindors."

"No," Regulus snapped quickly. "Hufflepuffs. You remember last week when we were studying those Billywigs in Care of Magical Creatures? Well..." Regulus swallowed hard and locked his eyes on the table. "Night before last, Topher and I sneaked into the classroom where they were and...stole them all. Then, yesterday, after classes were over, Topher and Will went down to the Puffer common room and released them all."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Regulus why would you all do that?" Elizabeth shook her head in disgust. "That explains why I saw those girls floating around before dinner."

Regulus laughed and almost spit his drink out onto the table. He was still smiling when he pulled his hand away from his mouth and wiped the small traces of sputtered butterbeer onto his slacks.

"Wait, if you helped steal the things, then why aren't you in trouble too?" Anthony asked.

"The guys aren't gonna rat me out," Regulus answered, giving him a look that indicated that it was an obvious answer. "They only got in trouble because someone spotted them releasing the damn things."

Elizabeth pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and tilted her head, giving Regulus a confused look. "Why weren't you there to help them? You helped steal the Billywigs, but didn't see the plan through. That doesn't seem like you."

"Oh, well...I was going to, but I got held up with something else." Regulus' eyes darted up, meeting Anthony's briefly, then fell back to the table.

Elizabeth excused herself to the ladies room and left the table. When she was out of sight, Anthony scooted back into his original seat and leaned over towards Regulus, putting his hands up on the table.

"I guess that you have me to thank for not being in trouble," Anthony said with a smirk.

Regulus looked over at him and smiled warmly. "I suppose I do," he said, biting down on his bottom lip. He held Anthony's eyes for a while, both of them silent. He finally looked away and straightened himself in his seat. "After we leave here, I need to go by the sweet shop and order Topher's Christmas gift." His eyes moved towards the ladies room then back up to Anthony's.

"Christmas gift? What about Will's little theory?" Anthony asked, confused.

Regulus ran his tongue over his teeth and smiled mischievously. "Topher and I, we operate under the theory that Will doesn't always have to know everything." He licked his lips and took a few deep breaths. His heart was racing despite the distance between him and Anthony.

"I kinda figured that was the case a while back. You guys seem to keep a lot of secrets from him." Anthony smiled warmly and batted Regulus' empty glass between his hands.

"More than you can imagine," Regulus said with a laugh. He put his hand on the table and reached towards his glass. He put his hand on the bottom of it, keeping it still and brushed his thumb over Anthony's fingers. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything," Anthony answered, breathing out sharply.

Regulus opened his mouth but the sight of Elizabeth heading back to the table, snapped it back closed. He pulled his hands into his lap and smiled up at her with false adoration.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thanks for reading so far. Don't forget to leave me some words of support. Thanks to my anonymous reviewers out there. You guys are great. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	12. Even Good Guys Lie

**Chapter 12: Even Good Guys Lie**

**.**

As the flocks of students made their way back to the school from Hogsmeade, Regulus and Elizabeth trailed slowly behind. Anthony had already gone up ahead with some girl from his House and was out of sight. Elizabeth reached over and laced her fingers into Regulus'. He squeezed her hand then pulled away and shoved his hands in his coat pockets.

"Today was hard, wasn't it?" Elizabeth asked in a worried tone. "The shops were all so crowded. I could see it in your eyes."

"Yeah," Regulus answered, his voice distant, his eyes focused ahead.

"Is that why you don't want to try and hold my hand?" she asked.

"Nope. I don't want to try because you're annoying the hell out of me today." Regulus licked his lips and set his jaw.

"What?" Elizabeth shrieked. She grabbed his upper arm and pulled him to a stop. She tried to look him in the eyes, but he refused to meet them. "How am I annoying you?"

Regulus shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Let's start with how damn clingy you've been. Then, throw in the fact that every time someone even walked too close to me, you stare at me like I'm a terminal patient. Not to mention your pathetic attempt at sucking up to Slughorn, your piss poor attitude towards Will's new girlfriend and how rude you were to Anthony. Oh! While we're at it, lets add the fact that you almost tore that girl to shreds for talking to me." He cut his eyes away from her and shook his head again.

"That bitch had it coming," Elizabeth sneered, pointing off in the direction of Hogsmeade. She shifted her weight between her feet and looked at the ground.

That bitch, as Elizabeth referred to her as, was Sarah. The girl though that it would be a good idea to come up and flirt with Regulus when Elizabeth was standing there. The results: it took Regulus, Anthony and the clerk at Honeydukes to pull Elizabeth off of Sarah. So much for her good idea. Not a mistake that Sarah would ever repeat.

Regulus rolled his eyes and turned, continuing up the path towards Hogwarts. Elizabeth tentatively fell into step beside him.

"Look, I'm sorry about all of that. I really am. It's just that...things have been off between us lately. I'm worried. Regulus, it feels like you don't want me anymore." Elizabeth made a pained face.

Regulus breathed out heavily and continued walking. "Of course I still want you. That's insane."

"Then hold my hand," she whispered.

"No, you were right before. It hasn't been the best day." Regulus bit down on his bottom lip and twisted his hands in his coat.

Elizabeth pursed her lips and made a scoffing sound. "Bet if Anthony asked, you'd hold his hand," she muttered under her breath. Her words were low. Not low enough.

Regulus' eyes flashed and he stopped walking. He caught Elizabeth's shoulder and spun her to face him. He grabbed on to the lower part of her arm with his right hand, his left lay in his pocket, gripped around his wand. "What the fuck did you just say?" he hissed into her face. His teeth were clenched together and his eyes were screaming with anger.

"Regulus, that hurts, let go," Elizabeth whispered as she tried to pull her arm away. When he responded by tightening his grip, she whimpered. "I didn't say anything. I was only playing. I didn't mean anything by it." She was starting to shake under his hold, her eyes worried.

"Why the hell would you say something like that?" Regulus asked, jerking her arm to make her stop trying to pull away.

Tears sprang to her eyes and she shook her head, desperately. "I was just playing is all. Please, that hurts."

Regulus pulled out his wand and pressed it to the underside of her chin. "You think this hurts?" he asked, jerking her arm again. "Just try me. Answer the damn question or I'll do it."

"You wouldn't!" she shrieked, trying to pull away again. The wand twisted under her chin and Regulus' eyes grew cold, there was no more doubt, she knew that he would. "Okay, okay. I think that Anthony's gay. I think he has a thing for you."

Regulus lowered his wand and shoved Elizabeth away from him. She examined her arm, which was already starting to reveal long, finger shaped bruises, and watched as Regulus headed back up the path. She ran to catch up, wiping tears from her eyes.

"I-I can't believe you p-pulled your w-w-wand on me-e," she stuttered out, shaken.

Regulus stopped again and turned to her, looking into her eyes. "If you ever say something like that again, I'll do more than just pull it."

Elizabeth looked at the ground, tears still falling from her eyes. "I'm sorry," she sputtered out. "I just hate the way he looks at you."

Regulus softened his face and slipped his hand into Elizabeth's. "What way is that?" he asked, putting his hand under her chin, raising her head to look at him. His eyes flickered slightly, but he refocused them.

Elizabeth smiled softly and took a deep breath. "He looks at you the same way that I do," she whispered.

Regulus shook his head and gave her a soft kiss, lingering a bit longer than he was comfortable with. He smiled at her as he pulled away. "Elizabeth, even if you're right about that, it doesn't matter. I'm straight and I'm with you. You hear me?" he said in a very soft tone.

Elizabeth nodded and Regulus reached up to dry her tears with the sleeve of his coat. They walked back to the castle, hand in hand, not speaking. They made their way to the Great Hall and over to the Slytherin table.

Anthony was sitting between Will and Topher, a spot he occupied during every meal at Will's insistence. As Elizabeth sat down on the bench, she cast a very arrogant glance at him and scooted as close to Regulus as she knew she could get away with. Regulus gave her a weak smile and pulled some chicken onto his plate from a near-by platter.

"Sarah wanted me to tell you that she's sorry your girlfriend is a psycho and her offer still stands," Anthony said, moving his eyes towards Regulus, a very casual tone to his voice.

Regulus looked up and laughed quietly. Elizabeth gritted her teeth together and leaned towards Anthony.

"You're making that up," Elizabeth said, clearly trying to restrain her desire to launch herself over the table at Anthony.

"I'm doing no such thing. You can't expect a girl like that to back off just because you pulled her hair." Anthony licked his lips and locked his eyes with Elizabeth's.

"I did more than pull her hair," Elizabeth growled. "I'll...I'll fucking kill the bi-"

"Elizabeth, that's enough," Will snapped, annoyed. "Just shut the hell up. Other girls want your guy, get over it."

Elizabeth was breathing heavily and darting her eyes between Will, who was staring at his food, and Anthony, who was still staring at her. "They can want him all day long, but it doesn't matter. Right?" She turned to Regulus, her face set in anger.

Regulus looked over at her with a smile. "Of course, you know that you're the only girl for me, Elizabeth." He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss before turning his attention to his potato.

Elizabeth turned back to Anthony, a smug smile on her face. "Hear that?"

Anthony nodded and gave Elizabeth a smile that reminded her of the one Will got just before he was going to curse someone or kill a small animal. "I heard. You're the only _girl_ for him, Elizabeth," he repeated casually. He continued to smile, eyes locked with hers, waiting.

Realization hit Elizabeth and she flared her nostrils at Anthony. "You son of a -" She stopped speaking as she saw Will reach for his pocket, not even looking at her, but still clearly preparing. She tossed her napkin onto her plate and stood up. She narrowed her eyes at Anthony.

Anthony lifted his cup to his lips, eyes still locked on Elizabeth, and raised his hand. He gave her a small wave goodbye and smirked into his drink.

"Where are you going?" Regulus asked, looking up at Elizabeth.

"I feel sick," she lied, giving him a reassuring smile. "Must have had too many candies. I'm going to go see the nurse." She turned and rushed out of the Great Hall.

Will laughed manically and clapped Anthony on the back. "That was great. I don't how you pissed her off like that, but I loved it."

Anthony grinned and shrugged his shoulders innocently. "I guess that she just didn't like what I had to say about Sarah." He moved his eyes towards Regulus, who was looking at him with a confused expression. "What?"

"I just can't believe that Sarah would say something like that or that you would repeat it in front of Elizabeth, not after what happened earlier," Regulus answered.

Anthony gave Regulus a crooked smile and licked his lips. "Yeah," he said, moving his eyes away. "Sarah...didn't say that."

A loud laugh erupted out of Will and he banged his fist on the table. "Oh, you're brilliant. That was bloody brilliant. Anthony, you are shaping up nicely."

Anthony frowned slightly and gave Regulus an apologetic look. Topher stood up and climbed off of the bench.

"Where do you think you're going?" Will asked dryly.

"I don't feel so well myself," Topher bit.

Regulus looked up at Topher. Topher shook his head at him and made a disappointed face. "I thought that we were best friends."

Regulus looked horror struck. "We are," he answered desperately.

Topher looked at him as though he wanted to scream. Instead, he calmly said, "Yeah, we'll see." He glared down at Anthony, turned and walked out of the Great Hall.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Those of you screaming "What a jerk!" I refer you back to the warning at the beginning of the story. Just sit tight, the boy is going to do things a lot worse than get a little rough with his girlfriend. Thanks for the read, let me know what you think. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	13. The Inevitable

**Chapter 13: The Inevitable**

**.**

Professor Slughorn bid a kind farewell to all of the students as they filed out of his dinner party. Regulus, Topher and Will stayed behind to do a little extra schmoozing, but were soon given warm farewells as well.

Will pulled Topher and Regulus to a stop down the hallway. "I got some Firewhiskey. I figure since you're heading out for holiday in the morning, we could do some partying tonight," he said to Regulus.

"Yeah, sounds good." Regulus nodded.

"Alright, go get Anthony and we'll meet you in my dorm room," Will said, giving Regulus a shove.

"Why me? How am I even supposed to fi-"

"Library," Topher and Will said in unison.

Regulus rolled his eyes and huffed off in the direction of the library while Topher and Will headed towards the common room. Regulus was still muttering about _not fair_ and _always have to fetch_ as he pulled open the door to the library and headed towards the back. He smiled as he spotted Anthony, sitting exactly where he expected him to be.

Regulus flopped down on the couch in front of Anthony and turned his head to face him. Anthony marked his page and closed his book then laid it on the back of the couch.

"Have fun at the Slug party?" Anthony asked with a smirk.

"Shut up," Regulus said bitterly, though he was laughing. "Come on, Will got some Firewhiskey, we're gonna have a little party." He reached over and tapped Anthony's knee as he stood up and motioned for him to follow.

"I don't drink," Anthony said, not moving.

"You do now. Come on," Regulus said. He smiled down at him and gave him a pleading look.

Anthony looked away and covered his smiling mouth with his hand. "Nope. Not going. You can stay here if you want."

Regulus rolled his eyes and sat back down on the couch, a little closer to Anthony than he had been before. "Why would I want to spend my evening with books instead of getting drunk?" he asked.

"Because, you want to spend your evening with me," Anthony said casually as he reached for his book.

"Full of yourself much?" Regulus asked with a laugh. He leaned back and watched as Anthony opened his book and started reading. "You expect me to sit here and watch you read? How fascinating."

Anthony smirked. "I don't see you leaving," he said in the same casual tone.

Regulus raised one eyebrow at the boy and stood up. "Watch then." He moved towards the door, but stopped when he felt Anthony's hand close around his own. He looked back down at him and licked his lips. "Yes?" he asked, amused.

"Please stay," Anthony whispered.

"Why?" Regulus asked as he sat down again, closer to Anthony than before.

"You're leaving in the morning. It's gonna suck not having you around for two weeks." Anthony put his book back down on the back of the couch.

"You won't be alone. Topher and Will aren't leaving either." Regulus ran his tongue over the tips of his canine teeth and closed them on it gently.

"Topher and Will aren't you," Anthony said as though it were obvious.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Regulus asked, using a tone laced with annoyance. He stared down at his hands in his lap.

"Is that a legitimate question? Are we through playing games?" Anthony raised his eyebrows.

"No," Regulus answered quickly. He looked up at Anthony and grinned. "No to both of those questions." He sat up on his knees facing the boy and reached forward, snagging hold of his glasses.

"Hey!" Anthony cried out as he reached to take them back.

Regulus put his arm out as a shield. "Just back up, I only wanna see them a minute." He slipped them on his face and turned to Anthony. "Damn, your eyes suck. How do I look? Smarter?"

Anthony grinned and reached forward, slowly sliding the glasses off of Regulus. "You look very smart," he said as he folded the glasses and stowed them in his pocket. "You'll mess up your eyes doing that, though."

"Then I'd have to wear glasses and I'd always look smart," Regulus said with a grin and scooted forward.

Anthony nodded and smiled. "You wouldn't want to cover up those enchanting eyes of yours," he said in a teasing tone.

Regulus pouted at him and folded his arms over his chest. "I happen to think that I have very nice eyes, you jerk."

Anthony reached forward and pulled Regulus' arms apart. "I happen to agree," he whispered. "I think they're more than just nice, actually."

"You do?" Regulus asked, looking down and meeting Anthony's eyes, not even noticing that the boy was still holding onto his arms.

"Yeah," Anthony said, smiling. "I think that your eyes are absolutely stunning. I almost couldn't keep from staring at them the day I met you."

Regulus swallowed hard and stared at Anthony, unmoving. "I-I, um...I like your eyes too. They're really...blue." He closed his eyes and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth. He was about to bite down on it when he felt a hand on his face, causing him to freeze.

Anthony rested his hand on Regulus' cheek and brushed his thumb over his mouth, resulting in him letting go of his lip. "That's better. I don't want you to do that, not because of me."

Regulus opened his eyes as Anthony dropped his hand. "Do what because of you? I do that all the time. I've told you before."

"You do it when you want to say something that you can't bring yourself to say. You do it when you're having feelings that you don't want to have." Anthony tightened his hold on Regulus' arm. "For instance, every time someone mentions your brother. See," he said because, as expected, Regulus bit down on his bottom lip.

Regulus shook his head and released his lip; drops of blood pooled instantly. He ran his thumb over it to clean it and took a deep breath. "You think you're so smart," he said bitterly.

"I just watch. Watch you, your reactions to things. I'm sure other people would notice if their eyes were on you as much as mine are." Anthony licked his lips and looked away. "I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable."

"You aren't," Regulus said, quickly. "I'm just...confused." He moved his eyes away from Anthony and sighed. "Why would you pay that much attention to...me?"

Anthony turned back and grinned. "Is that a legitimate question?"

Regulus took a deep breath and looked back at Anthony. "Yes," he whispered.

Anthony shifted to sit up straight and smiled happily. "Finally," he whispered. "It's because I like you. A lot. Not as a friend either. But, you already knew all of that, yes?"

Regulus nodded slowly and dropped his eyes down to his arm where Anthony's hand rested. "Knowing and hearing...big difference." Another bead of blood formed on his lip and he moved his hand up to wipe it away.

Anthony grabbed his hand and pulled it away. He shifted and leaned forward, bringing his face close to Regulus'. "Let me get it," he whispered and pressed his lips gently against the other boy's.

Regulus gasped quietly, but didn't move away. He pushed back, moving his lips slowly, softly against Anthony's. After a moment, he pulled away and touched his lips, a look of shock on his face. He looked at Anthony, not sure what to do or say.

Anthony let out a heavy breath and smiled. He licked his lips, tasting a faint trace of blood and pulled Regulus' hand away from his lips. He slipped his hand behind the younger boy's neck and ran his fingers through the hair at the base of Regulus' head. He pulled him back down and rose to meet him in the middle.

Their lips met again. Slowly, they moved against each other. Anthony ran his tongue over Regulus' bottom lip and he opened his mouth, allowing it to slip inside. Regulus grazed his teeth over Anthony's tongue, causing him to let out a low moan and press his body up against his.

Regulus threw his hands out and thrust them into Anthony's chest, shoving him away roughly. He quickly scooted back all the way across the couch. He put his hands up behind his head and struggled for breath. Anthony widened his eyes and pressed his lips together as he watched. He moved towards Regulus, but the boy put his hand up, signaling him to stop.

"I'm sorry, Regulus. I'm an idiot. I wasn't thinking," Anthony said quietly.

"Just...just stay away from me," Regulus whispered.

"Okay, fine. I'll stay over here until you're okay again." Anthony put his hands up and scooted away.

"No," Regulus bit as he stood up. "I mean stay away from me for good." He shot Anthony a glare as he moved towards the door. "I mean it. I don't fucking want you. Not like that. Not at all."

* * *

Regulus stormed into the common room, his face red and his body shaking with anger. Will stepped in front of him, but he stepped around him and headed for his room. He dropped down onto his bed and pulled his pillow to his face. He screamed angrily into the pillow, allowing it to muffle the sound. Elizabeth and Topher stepped up beside the bed.

"Where's Anthony?" Topher asked casually.

"Couldn't find him," Regulus answered, rolling onto his side away from them.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Elizabeth asked, sitting down on the bed.

Regulus got up and walked around the bed. He grabbed Elizabeth's upper arm and pulled her towards the door. He shoved her out of the doorway and slammed the door in her face. Topher, who was now sitting on his own bed, watched as Regulus pulled his covers back harshly.

"Couldn't find him?" Topher asked.

"That's what I said," Regulus growled, not turning around.

Topher opened his mouth to respond, but closed it and shook his head as he laid back.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: FINALLY! I know, right? But, then he ruins it. Who knows, maybe his Christmas holiday will change his mind. You'll have to keep reading to see how it all unfolds. Any guesses as to what Topher's problem is? Really, he seems a little peeved lately! Hope everyone is enjoying the ride so far. Hit that little button and make my day. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	14. Cousin Bella & the Dark Mark

**Chapter 14: Cousin Bella & the Dark Mark**

**.**

Two tiny hands pulled open the curtains in Regulus' room, causing the bright morning sun to come crashing in and hit Regulus in the face. The boy groaned loudly and pulled the blanket over his face. As Kreacher tugged the blanket away, Regulus sat up and glared down at the elf.

"What are you doing? It's holiday, I'm allowed to sleep late." Regulus groaned again and fell back onto the bed. He rolled onto his side, facing away from the window.

"I know, Master Regulus, but today is different. Your mother says that Mistress Bella is coming to see you and she -" There was no need for Kreacher to finish, at the word _Bella _Regulus sprang out of the bed and started searching through his drawers for some slacks.

"Why didn't you just say so?" Regulus asked excitedly. "Do you think she got it? I bet she got it and that's why she's coming over." He frantically pulled on a pair of slacks, falling into the floor as he did so. He climbed back to his feet and looked down at Kreacher. "When is she -" His words were cut short by the sound of a doorbell. "She's here! Oh, I bet she got her Mark. I'll bet anything she got it." He rushed out of his room and down the stairs, not caring that he was in his night shirt and barefoot.

Bellatrix Lestrange stood at the bottom of the staircase, chatting with Walburga. Even though she was facing away from Regulus, he instantly recognized her. Her straight, silken black hair hung clear down to her lower back. Her slim figure, the way she stood with her hips to the side, resting her weight on one foot; she was unmistakable. She let out a high and shaking cackle as Walburga spoke, something that would have made her recognizable if one had no eyes. No one laughed like Bellatrix.

"Bella!" Regulus called out as he hit the bottom step. "Did you get it? Of course you did. I gotta see, please let me see."

Walburga stepped between him and Bellatrix and pointed her finger back upstairs. "Regulus Arcturus Black, you get your hind quarters back up those steps and make yourself presentable. Then...you can talk to Bella."

Regulus frowned and stomped back to his room. He cut his eyes over his shoulder and watched as his mother led his older cousin into the kitchen. He pulled on a clean shirt and ran a comb through his hair, even pulled on his socks and shoes before charging back downstairs. He frowned again as he saw Bella sitting at the table, eating breakfast with his parents.

Walburga snapped her fingers and pointed at Regulus' typical chair at the table, which he instantly dropped in to. "Breakfast first, then you may talk. Kreacher," she said, looking around.

Kreacher slid a plate in front of Regulus, who gave him a quick smile and picked up the glass of orange juice in front of him. Regulus picked at his toast and nibbled a piece of bacon as his parents chatted mindlessly with Bellatrix. He would occasionally let out a heavy sigh which would receive an annoyed look from his father, Orion, a snap from his mother and a smirk from Bellatrix.

After what felt like an eternity to Regulus, but the clock proved to be a few minutes shy of an hour, Bellatrix rose from the table and motioned for him to follow. He jumped up from his chair, almost knocking it over into the floor, and followed her upstairs into the drawing room. He watched as she walked over to the Black tapestry and leaned over, bringing her eyes level with the newest scorch mark gracing it.

"I just had to see it for myself," Bellatrix sang out as she stood up. She turned to face Regulus, who was biting his lip, and smiled. "I can't believe it took this long. Come, we'll talk in your room." She headed out of the drawing room and into Regulus' bedroom.

Regulus, whose patience was getting the better of him, slammed the door closed behind them. "Show me!" he cried out, staring at his cousin with wide eyes.

Bellatrix smiled and licked her lips. She raised her arm and started to roll up her sleeve. Regulus moved closer, his eyes fixed on the area she was revealing. He practically squealed when the sleeve was pulled back, revealing a grey skull and three stars. He moved his hand up to it, but cut his eyes up to Bellatrix, silently asking permission. She gave him a small nod and he grazed his fingertips over it.

He pulled his hand back and looked up at Bellatrix with adoration. "Damn, Bella. Tell me everything. What's he like? In person, I mean."

Bellatrix tilted her head and moved to sit on the edge of Regulus' bed. She patted the bed beside her and he dropped down to the spot. "He's more amazing than I ever thought. He's everything we were promised...and more." A shiver ran down her body and her eyes glazed over. She smiled and snapped herself back to attention. "You'll be finding that out for yourself, soon enough."

Regulus rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Yeah, right. Maybe in ten years, five if I'm lucky."

"Nope, this summer." Bellatrix tilted her head again, her curtain of hair moved across her back, shimmering in the sunlight.

Regulus stared at Bellatrix, analyzing her face, searching for jest. When he found none, he finally spoke. "You're telling the truth." At Bellatrix's nod he jumped to his feet. "I'm only fifteen, what would the Dark Lord want with the likes of me? I've done nothing to prove myself. Bella, I have to do something to prove myself."

Bellatrix raised her hand to silence him. "I told him about what you did to that Winston bloke last year. He was most intrigued. He said that if at fourteen, you are already able to use the Cruciatus curse, then you are full of potential. The kind of potential that he wants to help shape."

Regulus let out a nervous laugh and dropped back onto the bed. "The Dark Lord thinks I...have potential," he said, dreamily, letting the words move through his mind.

"Potential isn't everything," Bellatrix spat. "It takes more than that."

"I know," Regulus said, turning to face her. "It takes strength and ability and determination and..." He bit his bottom lip.

"Devotion," Bellatrix finished. "That is the most important thing. The Dark Lord requires more than petty lip service. It is one thing to hang up articles and spread his message. He requires devotion of the highest form. You have to be willing to sever any ties."

"I would be. I am willing."

"Raise your wand against anyone."

"I would."

"Follow orders without question."

"Of course."

"You think that you can do that? Do you think that if the Dark Lord stood before you and ordered you to take the lives of your parents, you could?" Bellatrix raised her eyebrows.

Regulus nodded. "It might be tough at first, but I would do it."

Bellatrix smiled and ran her fingers through Regulus' hair. "Fantastic. Of course, there isn't much to be said out of that, your parents are...well, they aren't the most clever people. I don't think they see how great the Dark Lord is going to be."

"I don't know, they're the ones that cut out those articles for me." Regulus pointed to the wall above his bed which held an array of newspaper clippings all relating to Voldemort.

"Yes, well, they are short sighted, I believe. We shall see in time." Bellatrix stood up and straightened out her robes. She looked back at Regulus and smiled. "Have you ever used the killing curse?"

Regulus shook his head. "Just the Cruciatus. It took a while to get right. I realized that you can't just say it, the way you do with other spells. You have to actually want the other person to hurt."

"Right you are. So clever already." Bellatrix turned to face him full on, resting her weight on her right foot. "Same with the killing one. You can't just point and speak. You have to feel it. You have to want it. You have to truly desire for that person to...die. There is no room for doubt, no room for second guessing. It had to be pure desire for the other person's death." She spoke of murder in the same casual tone that one would use to explain scrambling eggs. Emotionless. Uncaring.

Regulus nodded slowly, allowing Bellatrix's words to sink in. His hand moved up and lightly grazed across his lips.

"I suggest you practice. There are always cats and other sorts of creatures scooting around the grounds at Hogwarts. Nab a few and use them for practice." Bellatrix moved towards the door. She put her hand on the knob and turned back. "Get that Mulciber boy to practice too. William. Word around is that he is quite practiced using the Imperious curse."

"Yeah, he's banging good at it." Regulus got up and crossed to the door.

Bellatrix smiled and pulled open the door, but Regulus caught it before it opened too far. "Wait. You said that your only devotion has to be to the Dark Lord." He licked his lips and Bellatrix nodded. "What about Rodolphus? You're devoted to him, aren't you?"

Bellatrix let out her signature laugh and shook her head. "Oh, Regulus, you show your age through your naivety about relationships. I'm married to Rodolphus, he is fine man. He will be my husband and partner unless the Dark Lord requires otherwise. If I were ordered to raise my wand and kill him, I wouldn't hesitate in the slightest." She smiled casually and took her leave of the room.

Regulus made a pained face and walked back over to his bed. He lifted a small package into his hands and looked it over. Inside the brown paper was a journal with a magical signature lock. Once the lock was set, only that same wand could open it. He gave a heavy sigh and carried it over to his desk. He sat it down and quickly scrawled _Anthony Bonham, Hogwarts, Ravenclaw 6__th__ Year _onto the wrapping and carried it downstairs to send away with the others.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: I love writing Bellatrix. Her unyielding devotion makes her so amazing to me. I would absolutely LOVE her if she hadn't killed off Sirius. Gotta hate her for that. Anyways, she got her Dark Mark and it looks like Regulus has a summer appointment with destiny. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	15. Just Another Day

**Chapter 15: Just Another Day**

**.**

Christmas morning was no different than any other day for Regulus. It took much prodding from Kreacher and finally, a threat from his mother to get him awake. He rolled off the edge of his bed and crumpled onto the floor with a heavy groan. Kreacher pushed a pair of pants into his hands, but Regulus tossed them onto the bed and attempted to crawl back up with them.

"Master Regulus, your mother is going to be most angry if you don't get dressed. Mistress shouldn't be made angry, she -"

"Yeah, yeah," Regulus cut off Kreacher and pulled himself to his feet. He managed to get dressed through half closed eyes and combed his hair with a bit of assistance from Kreacher.

He dropped down into his chair at the kitchen table and pushed away his plate before dropping his head to lay in the spot the plate had been.

"Regulus, you sit up this instant." Walburga snapped her fingers and glared daggers at him.

Regulus jerked himself up right and opened his eyes wide as his mother took her seat.

Regulus wasn't even sure why they insisted on having family breakfast time every Christmas morning. To the uninformed observer, it would not even appear to be Christmas. The Black household did not hang lights or put up a tree. They did not set out scented candles or hang stockings. They did not dress in Holiday attire and sit around singing carols while drinking eggnog and apple cider. There was but one tradition, they had breakfast together. Pancakes.

After Regulus and his parents cleared their plates, which was done in silence after the initial morning greetings, they moved on to their separate activities. His father was in his study, most likely drinking and writing scathing letters to the editor of the _Daily Prophet_. His mother, she was locked up in the drawing room doing something that Regulus was unsure of, yet would occasionally result in a loud banging sound and a scream.

Regulus headed into his room, intending full well to climb back into bed. He was stopped by the small pile of packages, clearly stacked there by Kreacher when he was at breakfast. He started pushing the packages to the side, still wanting to sleep, but his eyes caught one in particular which made him stop. He picked up the heavy, small package which bore his name and a return signature from Anthony. He climbed onto his bed and sat cross legged in front of the packages.

He tore open the package from Anthony, a little surprised that there was no note. Inside, a brand new, hard cover of _Macbeth_. He smiled down at it and ran his hand over the cover. He pulled it open and frowned at the silence. A faint smile appeared as he remembered Anthony once telling him that the sound of a breaking spine in a brand new book was his favorite sound in the world. He wondered why he hadn't heard it, until he looked down. The inside cover bore a note.

**Regulus,  
****Read it again. Trust me,  
****you'll understand it all one day.  
****Just keep reading it.  
****Anthony**

Regulus ran his fingers over the writing and bit down on his bottom lip. He slid the book under his pillow, not wanting to leave it where either of his his parents might see it. He turned his attention to the rest of the packages and shrugged. He wasn't even tired now, so he picked up the closest package. Another book. This one was old, large and clearly worn. It bore the title _'Worse Than Death: Torture Techniques of the Middle Ages' _and was accompanied by a note from Bellatrix. He briefly flipped through the pages, lingering on some of the illustrations which were disgusting, yet appealing. He slid it to the side and continued. A watch from Elizabeth, a large box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans from Topher, a bundle of cookies from Kreacher, a pouch of galleons from his parents, they never bothered to shop, and then he saw the last.

A small envelope rested on the bed under the packages. He reached for it, tentatively. He wasn't even sure why the sight of it made a chill run down his spine, but it did. Same as it had every time he saw it for the last three years. He recognized the handwriting on the outside, so despite there being no return mark, he knew it was from Sirius. He swallowed hard as he moved to open it.

**Merry Christmas Regulus.  
****Miss you and wish you were here.  
****I talked to Mrs. P and the offer I  
****made still stands. Imagine, a family  
****that does more than have pancakes  
****together on Christmas.  
****Sirius, the better looking brother.**

Regulus narrowed his eyes, but smiled. Sirius knew it drove him crazy when he signed letters that way, but it was amusing seeing as how Regulus did the same when writing him. He read it over again before pointing his wand at it and vanishing it. He shook his head, imagining his mother's reaction if she was to find that in his room.

He fell back onto his pillow and closed his eyes. Finding that he was tired after all, he rolled onto his side and drifted off to sleep with his fingers on his lips.

* * *

Regulus walked into the Slytherin common room, trying to be quiet so as to go unnoticed. The ride back to school had been long, well it seemed longer due to the fact he ended up sharing a compartment with rock boy, Thomas. The kid had spent the entire ride back detailing the most intimate, yet still dull, moments of his holiday. On a side note, Regulus reminded himself to tell Topher and Will that the boy was in fact _not _going to be thanking them for their Halloween hy-jinks.

The idea of making it to his room without being stopped was soon dropped when Regulus spotted Elizabeth charging towards him. He dropped his bag and put up his hands as a shield in front of him. Elizabeth pouted as she came to a stop in front of him. She moved to kiss him, but he moved away.

"Elizabeth, we need to talk," Regulus said quietly as he picked up his bag and motioned for her to follow him to his dorm.

Elizabeth sat down on the edge of his bed and waited patiently as he stowed away his things, avoiding her eyes. After he had no further means to stall, he finally sat down on the bed a ways from her and turned to face her.

"I love the bracelet," Elizabeth said quickly. When she received a confused look from Regulus, she held up her wrist, which had a dainty gold charm bracelet hanging from it. "The bracelet that you got me for Christmas."

"Oh, yeah," Regulus muttered, shaking his head. "Yeah, I didn't pick it, I had Kreacher get it." He waved his hand at her and gave her an uncaring look. "That's not what I want to talk about."

Elizabeth lowered her arm with a frown on her face. "What is it then?"

Regulus took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. "This isn't working out. Don't even make that sound, you know it isn't. It's over between us."

Elizabeth reached for Regulus. "We can make it work. If you just tell me what I'm doing wrong, then I can fix it." Tears began to pour down her face.

Regulus cut his eyes up towards her and gave her a cold look of annoyance. "Don't do this, you're just deluding yourself. There isn't anything _you_ can do because it is _you_ that I'm flat sick of," he said in an unemotional tone.

Elizabeth took a deep breath and started to stand up. Regulus pushed something into her hand, but she didn't pay any mind to it.

"I already have a watch and I don't even wear it. Take it back," he said as he laid back on his bed.

The loud sobbing made Regulus pull his pillow over his face to drown her out. Elizabeth finally turned and dashed from the room. She gave a sneer to Will as she passed him, Topher and Anthony heading into the room.

"Regulus, man, what did you do to break out the tears on little Miss Sunshine?" Will asked as he slapped Regulus' legs over and sat down.

Regulus pulled the pillow off of his face and sat up, smirking at Will. "I dumped her."

"Alright. 'Bout time," Will said, rather loudly. He laughed loudly and dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Why?" Topher asked quietly.

"What do you care why?" Regulus snapped and chucked his pillow at him. He dodged as it flew back and laughed. "You're just wondering how long you should wait before having another go at her."

Topher scoffed and turned away from Regulus. He moved to his own bed and sat down. He looked over at Regulus and locked his eyes on his. "What do you think, Anthony? You glad that he ditched Elizabeth?" he asked coldly and raised his eyebrows at Regulus, who shot him a confused look and turned away.

Anthony glanced over at Topher and shrugged. "Whatever, I don't really care either way," he answered, innocently. He looked down at Regulus and smiled as the boy was clearly trying to avoid looking at him.

"You don't care either way?" Topher parroted as a question. "Are you fucking kidding me? You know what, I'm hungry, I'm getting out of here." He stood up and dashed out of the door.

"Wait up, jerk," Will called out. "Are you two coming? Kitchens, we can get some of those brownies that they had at lunch," he asked, looking from Regulus to Anthony.

Both boys shook their heads and Will shrugged. "Alright, see you later then. We'll talk about that potion tonight." Will turned and followed Topher out.

"Potion?" Regulus asked, quietly, not looking up.

Anthony sat down next to Regulus and leaned his shoulder against his. "He wants me to help him with some potion he found the other day. It's pretty gross, I'll probably mess it up on purpose." He stared hard at Regulus until the boy finally consented to look at him.

Regulus turned and let out a heavy breath. "I'm sor-" He was cut off by Anthony's lips crashing fiercely into his. He reached up and slipped his hand behind Anthony's head, holding him in the kiss.

Anthony pulled away and smiled. "No need to say sorry." He leaned forward again, but Regulus leaned back. "What? Are you gonna freak out again?"

"No. I just...you know that this -" Regulus pointed between himself and Anthony "- can't happen. Not really happen. I can't be with you the same way I was with her. We can't be -" He was cut off again by another kiss.

Anthony pushed hard into the kiss and grazed his teeth over Regulus' bottom lip as he pulled away, causing him to sit up straighter and whine desperately. "I know. Trust me, I know where that was going, and it's alright. I get it. I don't care if I have to be with you behind closed doors, as long as I can be with you."

Regulus licked his lips and smiled as he moved away from Anthony on the bed. He kept their eyes locked and pulled his knees to his chest.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Looks like Regulus had a change of heart. Yay. So, on a side note, as a boy who comes from a family like the Black family, one that is considered aristocratic, not to mention that it is the 70s, being gay isn't something that Regulus could just go around spouting. It wouldn't look good on him or his family. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	16. He Wears Jealousy Well

**Chapter 16: He Wears Jealousy Well**

**.**

A heavy silence hung in the Slytherin common room. It was almost a fearful silence. Two weeks classes had been back in session and the impending O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s were bringing out the determination in the teachers. Homework wasn't a possibility, it was a given. Each day and each lesson, seemed to deliver longer essays and more reading requirements. So the fifth and seventh year students were all spread around the common room, fiercely attending to their work, and the younger students learned quickly that disturbing them would result in cursing of the worst sort.

Regulus and Topher sat at one of the tables closest to the couched seating area with several open books and drying parchments around them. Occasionally, one would quietly address the other to check a fact or ask about the assignment. Regulus was already having enough trouble focusing on his History essay, due to it being exhaustively dull, but the fact that Anthony was seated next to Will on a near-by couch was making it almost impossible to work.

Anthony and Will were sitting quietly, both reading. Will, who couldn't care less about his upcoming N.E.W.T.s, was sitting with a potions book in his lap. His father had sent him the book and it contained some pretty devastating potions. This wouldn't have been quite so distracting if it weren't for the fact that every fifteen minutes or so, Will would put his arm around Anthony to get his attention on the potion book. He would leave his arm draped around the boy's shoulder as they silently agreed or argued on something in the book.

Regulus had his head down, towards his work, but his eyes were watching as Will dropped his arm around Anthony's shoulder for the fourth time since sitting down.

"What are you scoffing at?" Topher asked, a little annoyed.

"What?" Regulus said quickly, snapping his head towards Topher.

"You just scoffed, I was asking why." Topher raised his eyebrows at Regulus. "You look like I just busted you stealing from Slughorn's store room."

Regulus shook his head and put his eyes down on his essay. "I was just clearing my throat," he lied. He hadn't even realized that he had made an audible assessment of Will's behavior.

Topher nodded skeptically and turned back to his work. A minute later, he looked back up at Regulus, noticing that his quill wasn't moving. He looked at his eyes and noticed that they were focused behind him. "What are you looking at, Regulus?" he asked.

"Nothing," Regulus spat out quickly. He lifted his hand and rested his head on it, using his fingers to block his view of Will and Anthony.

"Were you looking at my brother?" Topher asked, leaning over to see his face.

"No...yeah." Regulus shifted in his seat and dropped his hand to the table. "I'm just wondering what they're talking about." He focused his eyes on his quill, ignoring Topher's questioning stare.

"Probably about one of those potions," Topher answered slowly.

Regulus sat back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. He glanced over at Will with disdain and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well...we talk about potions sometimes and I never feel the need to fondle you while we talk."

"What?" Topher cried out with a laugh.

"Nothing. I'm tired of working." Regulus sighed angrily and stood up. He made quick work of closing his books and stowing his things in his bag. "I'm gonna take this back to the library," he muttered as he lifted the borrowed book.

"O-okay," Topher said, slightly confused about his friend's sudden outburst. "Here, will you take this back for me since you're going?" He handed Regulus a book.

Regulus took it without a word and stormed out into the hallway. He walked slowly towards the library, clutching the two books against his chest. He breathed deeply, trying to keep his anger from overtaking him. It didn't matter how many times his brain reminded him that Will wasn't interested in Anthony, Anthony wasn't interested in Will and since it was his idea to stay secretive, he had no right to be angry. Logic and jealousy were not two things that got along in his mind. By the time he reached the library, he was feeling rather foolish for his behavior.

As Regulus walked out of the library, empty handed, he was startled by the feeling of a pair of arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him towards a wall. The arms dropped away and he turned to face Anthony.

"I see you escaped Will," Regulus said rather bitterly as he leaned his shoulder against the wall. He swallowed down his urge to say something much more cruel and tacky.

Anthony leaned against the wall and looked down at Regulus, his crooked smile played across his face. "You wear jealousy well. You look very kissable when you frown like that."

Regulus looked up and smiled, his anger melting away. He stood up straight and licked his lips. "Kiss me then," he said with a smirk, leaning forward.

Anthony smiled again and he raised his hand to his mouth. His eyes darted into the hallway and fell over groups of students who were walking by and one group which was hovering near a window not far from them. "It's a little crowded, don't ya think?" he asked quietly.

Regulus frowned and leaned his back against the wall. "Yeah...right." He sighed heavily and shoved his hands into his pockets. He dropped his gaze to the floor and dragged his foot across the stone.

Anthony tugged on his sleeve and leaned towards him. "Follow me," he whispered.

Regulus followed Anthony in silence. They made their way to the Ravenclaw tower and stopped outside of the door so that Anthony could chat with a girl from his House. Regulus couldn't help but give her a glaring look as she retreated and Anthony couldn't help but laugh as he did. They slipped inside the common room and were almost to the stairs when Sarah jumped in front of their path. Anthony wore a smug smile as Sarah batted her eyelashes at Regulus.

"I heard that you ditched that crazy girl," Sarah sang out as she smiled at Regulus.

Regulus took a step away from her and feigned a hurt face. "Yeah, but I'm still awfully broken up about it. I really just need some time to reflect," he said in a hurt sounding tone of voice.

Sarah pouted at him and nodded understandingly. "Alright. Just remember, when you're finished reflecting, come find me." She gave him a smile and a small wave as she walked away.

Regulus shoved Anthony on the shoulder as he headed up the stairs laughing. "Shut up! That girl is completely crazy and she has her crazy eyes on me."

Anthony grabbed Regulus' hand as they stepped into the room. "I don't know, she wants you and I don't consider that very crazy." He squeezed the boy's hand and pulled him over towards the bed.

Regulus smiled and pushed Anthony to sit on the edge of his bed. "I'd still rather that she moved along and left me alone." He looked down into the older boy's eyes and moved closer. "Besides, I only want one person giving me that look." He raised his arms and slid them around Anthony's neck.

Anthony reached out and slipped his arms around Regulus' waist and waited as he adjusted to the closeness. He looked up at him and smiled as he took deep breaths. He was used to this process already, he didn't even mind the wait because he knew what was coming next.

Regulus leaned forward and brought his lips down onto Anthony's. He kissed him softly at first, occasionally pulling away to take a deep breath. As he brought his lips down for the third time, Anthony pulled him closer and tightened his arms around him. Regulus took in a sharp breath, but didn't move away. He pressed harder into their kiss, ignoring his racing heart.

Anthony ran his hand up Regulus' back and dragged his fingertips roughly back down it, causing Regulus to moan softly into their kiss and press against him. Regulus brought one of his hands up to the back of Anthony's head and threaded his fingers into his hair. He was straining slightly at the pain in his chest and his breathing was ragged. Despite this, he pushed harder against Anthony, his lips moving hard enough to cause pain for them both. Anthony let out a small whine and pushed Regulus away from him.

"What are you doing?" Regulus managed to ask through strained breaths.

"It's too much," Anthony answered, turning away from him slightly.

Regulus shook his head and licked his lips. "No, it's not. I'm fine really."

Anthony allowed a slow smile to cross his face and he cut his eyes up towards Regulus. "I didn't mean too much for you," he said with a quiet laugh.

Regulus gave him a confused look and opened his mouth to ask what he meant. When Anthony raised his eyebrows and smiled, Regulus realized what he had meant and closed his mouth. He dropped his gaze to the floor and smirked. Anthony pulled him to sit down next to him on the bed and laced their fingers together.

"This doesn't bother you anymore," Anthony said, raising their hands slightly to indicate he meant holding hands.

Regulus shook his head and bit down on his bottom lip. He stared over at Anthony for a while before speaking. "It still bothers me a little. I just try to ignore it because I really want to keep this." He squeezed Anthony's hand and bit his lip again.

"Say it," Anthony said, reaching up and brushing his thumb over Regulus' lips. "Please. Whatever it is, just say it."

Regulus felt his cheeks grow hot and looked away. "I wanted to ask you something, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to hear the answer or not."

"Ask it then. You can tell me if you want the answer after, just let me hear the question."

Regulus swallowed hard and squeezed his hand again. "I wanna know if you've...been with anyone. Girls or guys, either one." He turned and looked into Anthony's eyes. "Have you?"

Anthony ran his tongue over his bottom lip and nodded slowly.

Regulus cut his eyes down to their joined hands and took a deep breath. "Girl or guy?"

"Does it matter?" Anthony asked, sounding nervous.

Regulus shook his head and looked back towards him. "No. I just wanna know."

Anthony frowned slightly. "Both. It was different though. They we-" He was cut off by Regulus leaning forward and pressing his lips against his own.

"I said it didn't matter," Regulus said with a smile. He leaned forward again and slipped his hand behind Anthony's neck. "Just kiss me and hush," he said, laughing.

Anthony smiled and closed the gap between them. He started to pull away after a minute, but Regulus held him there. He reached up to push him away, but found his hands wrapping around him and pulling him closer, desperate for his touch. He broke his lips away and moved them down Regulus' cheek and onto his neck, sending a shiver down the boy's spine. He grazed his teeth over his skin and closed his eyes. Regulus pulled away completely and Anthony gave him an apologetic look.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm just closing the curtains," Regulus said, smirking down at him as he got onto his knees and pulled closed the curtains around Anthony's bed. He moved in front of him and looked down into his eyes.

"Why are you closing them?" Anthony asked, giving him a mischievous smile.

Regulus reached forward and laced their fingers together. "I figure that I've been doing pretty good with this -" he raised their hands to his lips and leaned forward, bringing his lips near Anthony's ear "- I wanna see how I well I do when my hands are somewhere else."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: *awkward cough* Those two need some privacy. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	17. Time to be Honest, Sort Of

**Chapter 17: Time to be Honest, Sort Of**

**.**

Regulus pulled his pillow over his face and let out an annoyed groan. He swatted his hand wildly at Topher, who was trying to pull the pillow away.

"Regulus, if you don't get up then I'm gonna leave you. You can explain why you're late on your own." Topher gave up his attempt at taking the pillow and waved his hand idly at Regulus. "Whatever," he muttered as he moved back towards his own bed.

"I'm getting up," Regulus sighed as he pushed the pillow away and sat up. "I just wanna know what jerk gave Will the bright idea to have Quidditch practice at six a.m. on a damn Saturday." He moved his legs to hang off the bed and into the floor as he stretched his back.

Topher gave a small shrug and pulled on his pants. "Probably got the idea from that blasted Ravenclaw team. Those lot are always out early. Bunch of jerks." His eyes suddenly grew wide and he turned to face Regulus. "Sorry. I didn't mean all Ravenclaws, just the Quidditch team."

"I know what you meant," Regulus said casually as he pulled on his sweater. "What are you telling me sorry for? I'm not a Ravenclaw."

"Yeah, I know. I was just...well because...I mean since Anthony is and you're...just, never mind." Topher let out a heavy sigh and sat down on the edge of his bed to pull on his shoes.

"Speaking of Anthony, I want to ask you something." Regulus stood in front of the mirror, comb in hand, and cut his eyes towards his friend. "What do you think of him? I mean blood-wise. Will's banking on a Pure-blood."

"Blood!" Topher gave Regulus a look that was a mix between anger and shock. "You wanna talk about his blood?"

Regulus stopped combing his hair and turned to face Topher. "Yeah. What's the big deal? We talk about people's blood all the time."

"I know, but I just...well I thought you were...I don't know what I thought." Topher scowled and licked his lips. "I don't know. I guess I'd wager pure. He doesn't seem to care when we say Mudblood, so chances are he hasn't got one for a parent."

"That's exactly what I said." Regulus smiled and kicked his tennis shoes together. He shoved his feet into them, not needing to bother with the laces. "Plus, the guy's bloody brilliant. Not just with potions and spells either." He walked back to the mirror and pulled his lips into a huge, teeth-revealing smile. He cast the teeth cleaning spell and gave a happy sigh.

"I wouldn't really know. I don't talk to him much. He's always reading or getting sucked into one of Will's schemes." Topher stood up and slipped on his jacket. "Or he's running off somewhere with you," he muttered bitterly.

"What?" Regulus asked, his tone much higher than he had intended. "H-he doesn't run off with me. That's silly."

Topher rolled his eyes, though he was facing away from Regulus so it went unnoticed. "It just seems like you two always go missing at the same time."

"Coincidence," Regulus offered as he zipped up his jacket and led the way out of the room.

"Well, all I know is that it's weird how much time you've been spending in the library," Topher said with a smirk as he pulled open the common room door.

"What can I say? Turns out those book things aren't so bad." Regulus snorted a laugh. "Besides, I would think that you'd use your unoccupied time to be making a move."

"Make a move? Surely you aren't on about Elizabeth again. How many times do I have to get rejected by the same girl before you let me give up?"

"As many times as it takes to get her to say yes." Regulus smiled and picked up his pace as they neared the school entrance. "Look, I know she's into you, she just has some issues to get through."

"Yeah, like the issue of still being obsessed with you," Topher said dryly.

"Sorry about that. You know it isn't me. I'm not encouraging her." Regulus hugged his arms around himself as he stepped out into the cool, crisp morning air. "I'm not even the slightest bit interested in getting back with her."

"I know you aren't, but it isn't sinking into her head. You have to force it." Topher watched the ground as he walked. "Maybe you should start dating someone else. If you were in a relationship, then she'd see."

Regulus looked over at Topher with a grin. "Actually, I was thinking along those lines myself. There is...someone that I'm interested in. I was thinking about...I don't know, it's just a thought. I need more time."

Topher gave Regulus an understanding smile and nodded slowly. "Well, you know Valentine's Day is Thursday, right? Then we have Hogsmeade on Saturday. Why not ask...someone to go with you?"

"No. No. No. No. No." Regulus shook his head and made a strained face. "Way too soon for that. I'm not even sure if... Look, that's just too soon. I'm not going to Hogsmeade anyways, I have other plans."

"You'd rather stay at the school? Must be some plans." Topher gave a quiet laugh.

Both boys stopped speaking as they stepped into the Slytherin dressing room on the Quidditch Pitch.

* * *

Anthony sat on the end of his usual couch in the library. His eyes busily darted across the page of the book he had opened in front of him. Regulus, who was watching Anthony rather than reading the open book in his hand, was sitting in the middle of the couch. Occasionally, Anthony would cast a glance in Regulus' direction and give him a warm smile.

Regulus gave an unhappy sigh and slowly scooted closer to Anthony. He was close, but not close enough to cause any discomfort. He dropped his hand onto the couch between them and turned it up, inviting Anthony's hand to join it.

Anthony looked down at Regulus' hand and pushed up his glasses. "Aren't you afraid someone might see?"

Regulus shook his head. "Library's dead tonight. Everyone's off doing Valentine's junk. Guess they can't wait for the trip Saturday." He waggled his fingers and shifted a bit closer to Anthony.

Anthony smiled and slipped his fingers into Regulus'. Both boys laid their heads back against the couch and turned them towards each other. They stared into each other's eyes, smiles gracing both of their faces, allowing themselves to get lost.

"I think you should kiss me," Regulus whispered, squeezing Anthony's hand.

"I think I should too," Anthony answered with a smile. He leaned forward and gave Regulus a soft, lingering kiss.

When Anthony pulled away, Regulus gave a small frown. "I don't wanna wait for Saturday."

"You're going to have to. Trust me. It'll be better if we have more privacy. More time too." Anthony pulled his hand away and lifted it to Regulus' hair.

Anthony brushed his fingers through Regulus' hair and the boy scooted closer to him. There was barely any space between them and, despite the fact that it was making him a bit uneasy, Regulus didn't want to move away. He brought their lips together again in a deep, longing kiss. He shifted onto his knees, never breaking the kiss, and pressed harder into him.

Anthony pushed Regulus back and looked around, nervously. "You're getting kinda risky. Someone's going to see that."

"Let them." Regulus rested his hand on Anthony's cheek and smiled down at him. "I know that I was the one who said we had to keep it a secret, but I've changed my mind. I'm gonna to tell Topher and Will. Then we can just be together."

"You aren't scared of what they'll say?" Anthony reached up and took Regulus' hand into his own.

"Hell yeah, I'm scared. That doesn't matter though. If they ditch me then so be it. I know what...I know _who _I want and I'm tired of having to hide away in your room or sneak off behind the damn greenhouses just to get a kiss."

"If that's really what you want, alright. I'm all for being public. Honestly, I've had about as much of Sarah flipping her hair at you as I can take." Anthony frowned.

Regulus laughed quietly and ran his tongue over his teeth. "I know how jealous she makes you. I can tell."

"How? I've not said a word."

Regulus leaned over and brought his lips next to Anthony's ear to whisper. "You're always a bit rougher when she's around. I like it. I always kinda hope that she's in the commons when we pass through so that you're a bit more...generous when we get upstairs."

"Are you serious? I get more...rough? I don't mean to. Well, damn, if you like it though then that's what I'll give you." Anthony slipped his hand behind Regulus' neck and pulled him into a fierce, pleasantly painful kiss.

Regulus gave a soft moan as he felt Anthony's teeth graze over his bottom lip. He pushed against him and wrapped his arms around his neck. Finally, when he was desperate for breath, Regulus pulled away. He dropped back to sit properly next to Anthony and laced their fingers together.

"I'll tell him Saturday night. Topher, I mean. I'm already way too nervous to even add that to the mix right now. After we...after we've been together, then I'll tell him." Regulus smiled and locked his eyes onto Anthony's. "I'm really nervous, but I really wanna do it."

"I know you are and I know you do. Everything will be fine." Anthony leaned forward and gave Regulus a crooked smile. "You shouldn't be nervous. I'll take care of you," he said slowly. "I'll be slow...and gentle...and loving."

Regulus closed his eyes and smiled at Anthony's words. "I know you will be. I didn't mean that I was nervous about having sex. I meant that I was nervous about telling Topher. It isn't going to be easy. After all, it's not everyday that you tell your best friend that you're in l-a relationship with another guy. I don't know how he'll react."

Anthony laughed quietly as Regulus stumbled over his words. "I'm sure it'll be okay. If it helps at all, I can tell you that I'm in l-a relationship with you too." He leaned forward for another kiss, a smile glued to his face.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Okay, so Valentine's Day relations for those two, coming up in the next chapter. Do you think Regulus will follow through with his plan to tell Topher and Will? Ah, the days of being young and in l-a relationship! :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	18. Bleeding Lips & Broken Dreams

**Chapter 18: Bleeding Lips & Broken Dreams**

**.**

Regulus made his way towards the Ravenclaw common room; his hands were shaking and he was fighting to keep his breathing under control. His heart gave a small leap every time he passed by a giggling couple on their way to the school entrance to go to Hogsmeade. His smile grew wide when he spotted Anthony leaning against the wall next to the common room entrance. Without a word, they made their way upstairs into Anthony's room.

Anthony closed the door and crossed over to his bed, where Regulus was already sitting. He dropped down beside him and pulled his hand into his own. "You look really nervous."

"I _am_ nervous," Regulus said with a laugh. He shifted up onto his knees so that he was at even height with Anthony. "It's okay though. I'll be fine once you kiss me." He smiled and licked his lips as he leaned forward.

Anthony smiled back and slipped his free hand behind Regulus' neck. He leaned up into his lips and kissed him, slowly at first, but then with growing passion. After a minute, he wrapped both arms around Regulus' waist and pulled him to lay flat on the bed. Regulus gasped quietly and Anthony sat up.

"Are you okay?" Anthony whispered.

Regulus smiled and nodded at him. "I'm fine, Anthony, I swear." He ran his fingers through his hair and scooted himself a bit higher on the bed so that his head was just below the pillow. "I like that you're all understanding and caring about my...problem, but sometimes, you gotta be a little forceful with me." He leaned up on his elbows and grinned. "I know you can tell if it's too much. I know you'll be careful. I trust you, okay. I trust you completely, so close the damn curtains and make me yours already."

Anthony laughed quietly and pulled the curtains closed around his bed. "Hey, I thought you _were _mine already," he said as he laid down beside Regulus.

Regulus rolled onto his side and slipped his arm around Anthony's waist. "I am yours," he whispered, looking into Anthony's eyes. He brought their faces close and smiled. "I'm every bit, yours."

Anthony put his hand up on Regulus' chest and pushed him back slightly. "No, you aren't. Not every bit."

"What do ya mean by that?" Regulus asked, feeling a bit stung by his words.

Anthony laid on his back and grabbed Regulus' left arm. He turned it so the underside was facing him and ran the tips of his fingers over the smooth skin. He brought it to his lips and kissed over it several times before looking back into Regulus' eyes. "One day, you're gonna be his," he said with a sigh.

Regulus turned his head away and closed his eyes. He shook his head slowly and grabbed onto the front of Anthony's shirt. "I don't think you understand. I would do anything -" he took a deep breath and looked at Anthony "- for you." He licked his lips and let out a sharp breath. "I don't wanna talk about this now. I just want to be with you. That's _all_ I want."

Anthony smiled, feeling relieved at Regulus' response to his mention of the Dark Lord. He rolled over and wrapped Regulus in his arms, bringing his lips onto his neck. Regulus put one arm around his waist and rested the other hand on the back of his neck. He let out a shaky breath as Anthony's lips moved across his neck and his hand slipped underneath his shirt. Anthony lifted himself up and slowly pulled Regulus' shirt over his head, then tossed it aside on the bed.

Regulus sat up and ran his hand over Anthony's chest, slowly undoing the buttons on his shirt. He pushed it off of his shoulders and trailed his hands down his arms, following it. He eyes moved over the boy's body and brought a smile to his face.

Regulus grabbed onto the front of Anthony's pants and pulled him down over him as he laid back on the bed. They kissed passionately and moved their hands roughly over each other. Regulus arched his back, pushing his hips up against Anthony and making him moan. Anthony took his time, first shedding Regulus from his pants, then kissing him across his lips, neck and shoulders. He slid out of his own pants and brushed his hands gently down Regulus' sides. Regulus turned onto his stomach and looked back at Anthony.

Anthony lowered his body over him and pressed his lips to his shoulder blade. "It's going to hurt. I'm not going to lie to you, but it'll be okay in a few minutes."

"Damn it, I know that," Regulus sighed. "If I have to tell you that I trust you one more time, I'm gonna scream."

Anthony smiled and pressed his face into Regulus' neck. "You can scream if you want to," he whispered. He slipped his hand under the pillow and grabbed a tiny bottle of massage oil. He rubbed a bit onto his fingers and moved his hand between them.

Anthony went slow, very slow, as he eased against Regulus. He was careful and as gentle as possible, taking great care to listen to the boy's breathing and make sure he wasn't going to have an attack. Despite knowing that it would hurt, Regulus wasn't prepared for how much. He dug his fingers into the pillow above him and pulled it down to his face where he proceeded to bite down on it. Anthony rubbed his hands over his back and shoulders, softly, and kissed his neck. He whispered loving things into his ear and slid one of his hands into Regulus' for him to squeeze.

Just as promised, the pain faded and slowly moved into pleasure. Regulus' body tensed up and he closed his eyes tight. He squeezed Anthony's hand and called out his name as the boy moved over him. Anthony tried to slip his hand under Regulus to give him pleasure as well, but it was pulled away. Regulus shook his head and told him it would be too much to take, so Anthony kept his hand on the boy's hip.

Soon after, both of them found their release and collapsed onto the bed, their bodies spent. Anthony pulled the covers up around them as they moved to lay properly in the bed. Regulus rolled onto his side, facing away from Anthony, his eyes and face completely blank. Anthony wrapped his arms around him and leaned up to look at him.

"Did I hurt you too much?" Anthony whispered as he pressed his lips to Regulus' shoulder.

"No," Regulus answered. His voice was emotionless and his eyes vacant.

"Regulus, you're scaring me a bit. Are you sure that you're okay?" Anthony asked, looking down at him, his eyes full of concern.

Regulus continued to stare blankly at the curtain in front of him. "Anthony, I've never been so happy in my entire life."

"You don't look happy," Anthony whispered.

Regulus rolled onto his back and looked into Anthony's eyes. His lips pulled into a smile and he wrapped his arms around his neck. "Sorry. I am...happy, I mean. I was just thinking is all."

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm not gonna tell you." Regulus grinned. "I'll tell you later. Later, later. Like weeks or months from now later. I just don't wanna say something if I'm not positive about it."

Anthony nodded, understandingly and brushed his thumb over Regulus' bottom lip, pulling blood from it. "Can I heal that for you? After all, I kinda think I might be responsible for it." He laughed quietly.

"Yes, you can," Regulus answered. "And, yes...you are. All these years of biting my bottom lip, I never thought it would feel so good to have someone else do it." He raised his eyebrows and laughed as Anthony pointed his wand and cast the healing spell. He rubbed his fingers over his lips and smiled. "Thanks. You'd make a pretty good healer."

Anthony stowed his wand away and laid down, pulling Regulus into his arms. He stared at him, slowly tracing his fingertips over his arm.

"Hey, that's it," Regulus said, his eyes lighting up. "Every time I'm at St. Mungos, I see that huge plaque, the one that says _'founded by Mungo Bonham'_. That's where I've heard your name. Are you related?"

Anthony shook his head and looked away, his face seeming a bit guilty. "No, I'm not."

"How do you know? The guy live a long time ago, you could be related. Bonham isn't a name that you hear very often. For all you know, you co-"

"Regulus," Anthony interrupted. "I'm not related to him. I know because..." He cut his eyes away and pulled away from Regulus, rolling onto his back. "My father isn't descended from some wizard healer. He's a...well, he's...he's a banker."

"Oh, he works at Gringotts?" Regulus asked, innocently. "Being a banker doesn't mean tha-"

"He's a Muggle banker!" Anthony cried out quickly. "My dad is a Muggle."

Regulus pursed his lips and tilted his head, making his best attempt at a supportive face. "I guess that really speaks to your mum's character. Kinda brave marrying a muggle in these times. Foolish, but brave." He sighed and pulled himself to sit up.

"My mum isn't brave. She isn't foolish or brave." Anthony sat up as well and rubbed his hands roughly over his face. He looked at Regulus, his eyes brimming with tears. "Regulus, my mum is... a Muggle also. I'm...a Muggle-born."

Regulus stared at Anthony, his entire face in pure shock. He let out a ragged breath and rubbed his fingers violently across his lips. He slowly pulled on his clothes, refusing to look at Anthony as he did the same.

"Where are you going?" Anthony asked as Regulus headed for the door.

Regulus opened the door and flared his nostrils. "I'm going to go to my bed and go to sleep, then hope to wake up and find that you were just a fucking nightmare."

The door slammed behind Regulus as he tore down the stairs and back to his room.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: *insert sinister laugh here* Who saw the muggle born thing coming? Who is as surprised as Regulus is? What is going to happen to our dear Anthony now that his blood status has been revealed. I am very curious to know how you think Will and Topher will react to the news. Leave me some love, please. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	19. How Quickly They Turn

**Chapter 19: How Quickly They Turn**

**.**

The occasional sound of a turning page or someone shifting in their seat was the only thing that cut through the silence of the library. No one even noticed as Regulus gently pushed open the doors and made his way to the back of the library towards the boy reading on one of the couches.

Regulus stood over Anthony and narrowed his eyes as the boy continued to read. He reached down and snatched the book from the older boy's hand, then flung it harshly to the ground. Anthony took a deep breath, pulled off his glasses and stowed them in his robe. He looked up at Regulus, his eyes full of desperation.

"I assumed you were going to ignore me," Anthony whispered.

"I am going to ignore you." Regulus' face was set and cold, his eyes reflecting a deep seated pain being masked by anger. "I just wanted to make sure that you were gonna keep your mouth shut."

Anthony sighed and closed his eyes. "Regulus, I didn't think you would care. Not after what you said, well almost said, on Thursday."

"I didn't come here to discuss this. I came here to keep you quiet, damn it." Regulus cut his eyes away, feeling sick to his stomach.

"Please, can we just talk about this? Twenty-four hours ago, you were ready to tell people that we were together, ca-"

"That was before I knew you were a..." Regulus trailed off, his breathing strained and his hands shaking.

"A Mudblood?" Anthony finished, tightening his lips.

"I was going to say _'a liar' _but Mudblood works too," Regulus spat.

Anthony stood up and looked down at Regulus. "Do you know how hard it was for me to tell you? Don't you care even the slightest bit?"

"How could I ever care about filth like you?" Regulus sneered. He shoved his hands into Anthony's chest, knocking him back down onto the couch.

"Hey!" a voice called out from beside them. Remus Lupin came running up and put his arm out in front of Regulus. "Regulus, you can't put your hands on other students. I'm going to have to -"

"Go to hell, Lupin," Regulus shot at him, curling his lips into a sneer. "You can wave that Prefect badge all you want. I don't give a shit."

Remus licked his lips and kept a dignified look on his face. He reached into his robes and withdrew his referral pad. "I'm writing you up, Black."

A hand reached around Remus and gently took the pad out of his hand. "Don't write up my brother, Moony," Sirius said softly, looking between Remus and his brother. "What did he do?" he asked, putting the pad back in Remus' robes.

Remus frowned, but made no move to retrieve the referral. "I have to do something, he's harassing other students."

"I'm not harassing anyone, you prick," Regulus argued.

Anthony shifted forward on the couch and clasped his hands in front of him. "I don't know, I feel pretty harassed," he said quietly.

"Fuck you, Bonham," Regulus yelled, glaring at Anthony.

Anthony raised his eyebrows at Regulus and gave him a crooked smile. "Bonham. You're really gonna call me that? That wasn't what you called me -"

Regulus launched himself towards Anthony, knocking Remus back into Sirius' arms. He cut his fist through the air, slamming it into Anthony's jaw with a sickening smack. Anthony winced and growled in pain, then turned his face back just in time to see another punch coming his way. He reached up and grabbed Regulus' wrist, holding onto him tightly as Sirius grabbed his brother around the chest and pulled him back.

"Damn it, Regulus, I'm sorry!" Anthony yelled, standing up. He rubbed at his jaw and swallowed a mouthful of blood, caused from his side teeth being knocked loose by the hit.

"I don't want your bloody apologies, you jerk!" Regulus yelled.

By this time, everyone in the library was watching as Sirius tried to keep his brother restrained. The doors opened and Topher and Will came inside, their smiles fading as soon as they laid eyes on the scene. Will dropped his book as the two of them hurried over.

"Let him go," Will huffed, pulling on Sirius' arm, trying to free his friend.

Regulus pulled out of his brother's hold, thankful for the assistance, and jumped towards Anthony again. He thrust his hands against him, knocking him back onto the ground.

"What the fuck?" Will cried out, rushing towards Anthony to help him up.

Topher moved forward and stepped in front of Regulus, putting his hands up. "Regulus, are you mental? What the hell are you doing?" he asked, continuing to block his path.

"What am I doing?" Regulus repeated, his voice shrill and shaky. "I'm going to kick his fucking ass, that's what I'm doing!"

"No one is touching anyone," Remus tried to voice, but his words were over run by Will, who had pulled Anthony to his feet.

"Like hell you are. Regulus, you need to calm down," Will ordered, pointing at Regulus and giving him a warning glare.

Topher pushed against Regulus and looked at him with worry. "He's right, man, you need to chill."

Regulus took several strained breaths, his face furious. "I can't believe this," he hissed. "You two are going to stand here and defend that Mudblood against your best mate?"

Will gaped at Regulus in horror. "You're lying!" He turned to Anthony with wide eyes. "He's lying, right, Anthony?"

Regulus never heard Anthony's response; he threw his hands up and tore out of the library. His heart was racing and his entire body felt as though it were on fire. He could hear someone, though he wasn't sure who, calling his name as he stormed through the hallway. His heavy breathing filled his ears as his feet carried him mindlessly down the corridor.

It wasn't until he reached his common room entrance that Regulus even realized he was heading there. He mumbled the password and kept his head down as he stomped to his dormitory. He threw himself down onto his bed and rolled onto his side, dragging one hand roughly through his hair.

The sound of the door closing drew Regulus' eyes, making him roll onto his back. He sat up as Topher sat down on the end of his bed. Regulus ran his tongue over his teeth and looked down into his lap.

"I'm sorry," Topher whispered. "How did you find out? Did someone tell you?"

Regulus nodded and took slow, steady breaths. "Yeah," he said, his voice cold and emotionless. "Anthony told me. He told me yesterday, I just didn't say anything. I wasn't ready to deal with Will yet."

Topher stared at Regulus with a look that almost resembled pity. Pity, laced with anger. He shook his head and watched as Regulus avoided looking up. "Does it matter?" he asked, his voice fearful. "He's still the same Anthony."

Regulus looked up, narrowing his eyes, and pulled his lips into a sneer. "He isn't the same Anthony. He's a liar and that does matter." He dropped his gaze back to his lap and rubbed at his eyes.

"It isn't as though he could have just said something. You know that." Topher sighed and moved a bit closer to Regulus. "At least he told you. He could have kept hiding it."

Regulus shook his head. "He only told me because I trapped him. I was asking all of these stupid questions about his father and he had to tell me." He breathed deeply through his nose and ground his teeth together. "He should have said something sooner," he muttered under his breath.

The door slammed open as Will stepped inside. He flung it back closed behind him and growled loudly. "That disgusting piece of dirt!" he yelled, his hands making fists at his sides. "I can't believe that we've been hanging out with that filth! I think I'm gonna be sick!"

"Will, if you're going to storm around, do it in your own room. We're trying to talk here," Topher said, trying to stay calm.

"You're going soft, Topher! I knew letting that Rosier bitch hang around was a bad idea. I bet you don't even care that that prick is a Mudblood," Will growled at his brother.

"I care!" Topher shouted, jumping up and facing his brother. "I care, I just have enough sense to know that screaming about it won't change things."

Regulus climbed off the bed and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Will called out.

"Somewhere I can be alone. I don't wanna listen to you two jerks go at it." Regulus stormed out of the room and into the common room. He ignored Elizabeth's attempts at asking him what was wrong and pushed into the hallway.

After walking over the grounds and sitting by the lake for a few hours, Regulus finally came back to the common room. Will pounced the moment he spotted him.

"I have a plan, Regulus. A way to keep this kind of thing from happening again." Will's eyes were bloodshot and he appeared more twitchy than usual. "We're gonna make a list. We're gonna get a record of all the students and make a list."

Regulus nodded and continued towards his room, waving his hand at Will. "I don't care right now. Just tell me about it later," he said with a sigh and closed his room door in Will's face.

Topher looked up as Regulus curled himself onto his bed. "Regulus, I need to talk to you about something."

"Whatever it is, it can wait. I don't feel so good right now." Regulus pulled his pillow into his arms and clung to it.

Topher licked his lips and leaned towards Regulus. "It's about Anthony. I want to talk about this. I was hoping that you wo-"

"I don't want to talk about that jerk. Ever," Regulus called out, his words muffled by his pillow.

"Regulus, I do. I want to talk about something that happened over Christm-"

"Stop!" Regulus sat up and shot Topher a glare. "I said that I do _not_ want to talk about him. Now shut the hell up!" He whipped is curtains closed and shoved his face into his pillow, screaming in anger.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Well, what do you think of everyone's reaction? Topher doesn't seem to care, at least not the same way Will does. In the grand scheme, Will's idea to make a list is one of the less sinister plans he has ever had. Taking a review poll: Is Regulus pissed because he was lied to or because he found out Anthony was a Muggle-born? :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	20. Moment of his Undoing

**Chapter 20: Moment of his Undoing**

**.**

It didn't take long for word to travel through the school about the incident in the library. Most of the Slytherin House was in an uproar, half of them doing everything they could to help out with the new Blood Status List that had Will occupied for weeks. Various forms of pity were shot Regulus and Topher's way, soon making them cringe at the sight of their own House mates.

Anthony was on the receiving end of pity, himself. His House mates were all sad eyes and pats on the back, causing him to spend even more time in the library than usual in order to get away from them. He couldn't break the urge to look up every time the doors opened, wondering. He was relieved that Will had chose to go the_ ignore and despise _route rather than the _humiliate and destroy_ one. He couldn't help but think that it might be temporary.

By Easter holiday, the discovery was a thing of the past. Old news, as they say. While the school ran on new and more exciting gossip, Regulus did not consider it to be old news. He was angry. Every day, he seemed to be more angry. His grades were slipping over his refusal to go anywhere near the library, Will and Topher were avoiding him because of his bad attitude and his Quidditch teammates were growing frustrated with his sudden inability to catch the Snitch, even in the most simple of practice exercises.

He refused to go home for the Easter holiday, not that his parents much cared. He was relieved at having some quiet in his dorm. All of his dorm mates had left for the holiday, including Topher.

Regulus slept in the first morning, missing breakfast. He hurried through his morning routine, his stomach making itself known. He rushed down to the kitchens and sneaked inside. After the elves, more than generously, helped him out, he headed back towards his common room.

Looking back, Regulus often wondered if this was the moment of his undoing. Wondered if perhaps, he hadn't slept late, hadn't missed breakfast, hadn't been turning the corner at that exact moment, then things might have gone very differently for him. _What ifs _are useless in life, though, because Regulus did sleep late. He did miss breakfast and he was turning the corner at the exact moment that Anthony was.

The two boys collided with such force that it knocked Regulus to the floor and made Anthony double over, dropping his book onto the ground. Anthony shot out about five apologies before realizing who was climbing to their feet, dusting off their clothes. Anthony reached for his book, but Regulus' hand was there first.

"Who walks down the hallway reading a damn book?" Regulus growled, shoving the book against Anthony's chest. He tugged at the bottom of his shirt to straighten it out and glared at the older boy.

"I wasn't reading," Anthony argued. "I was looking at the illustrations." He frowned and placed his book mark back in its proper spot. "I said I was sorry."

"Yeah, well sometimes sorry isn't good enough," Regulus spat, narrowing his eyes. He stepped around Anthony, who grabbed his arm and spun him around.

"Something tells me that you weren't referring to my knocking you over," Anthony said quietly. He squeezed the boy's arm and gave him a pained look.

Regulus jerked his arm away and shoved Anthony back from him. "Keep your hands off of me."

"You know, I have a right to be just as mad as you are, but I'm not. You acted like a total jerk and you fucking hit me." Anthony pointed to his jaw and took a step towards Regulus. "I understand that you were mad at first, but I really thought that after you had some time to cool off, you wouldn't care."

"Well, you were wrong. I do care, I care a lot." Regulus turned away and started off down the hallway again.

"Care about what?" Anthony asked, chasing him down and grabbing his hand. "Care that I lied, well _withheld information, _or care what I lied about?"

"Both," Regulus answered, pulling his hand away. He started to step away once more but Anthony blocked him.

Anthony dropped his book and grabbed Regulus' shoulders with both hands. He shoved him back hard against the wall and held him there, staring down angrily into his eyes. "You're lying."

Regulus reached up and hooked his hands over Anthony's wrists. "Would serve you right if I was." His eyes were cold and his face was set with anger.

Anthony closed his eyes and brushed his hands up from Regulus' shoulders, locking them behind the boy's neck. He pressed his forehead against the younger boy's and opened his eyes again. Regulus pushed his hands flat against Anthony's chest, ready to push him away. Rather than shove the boy, Regulus twisted his hands into Anthony's shirt and lifted up on his toes just a bit, grazing their lips together in the smallest way. He pulled away quickly and hung his head, biting down hard on his lip.

Anthony smiled and grabbed onto Regulus' wrists, pulling his hands away from his chest and forced them to the boy's sides. He stepped into him and brought one hand behind Regulus' neck, making the boy look up and frown at him.

"You're allowed to smile," Anthony whispered, bringing his face down to hover his lips just above Regulus'.

"People smile when they're happy," Regulus whispered back, grabbing on to the sides of Anthony's shirt.

"I don't make you happy?" Anthony whispered, brushing his lips over Regulus'.

Regulus struggled for breath and dug his fingertips into the boy's sides. "You make me sick," he hissed, shoving his hands suddenly into Anthony, making him stumble back a few steps. He flared his nostrils and breathed frantically, glaring at the older boy. "You're filthy and you're a damn liar. You can call it withholding information if you want, but I call it a bloody lie!" he yelled, turning away so his face was hidden.

"How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?" Anthony cried out. "What do I have to do to make you trust me again?" He grabbed on to Regulus' shoulder and tried to turn him.

"I'll never trust you again," Regulus spat, pulling away from him. He took off down the hallway towards the common room entrance.

Anthony grabbed his book from the floor and made chase, trailing Regulus silently until they stepped inside the Slytherin common room. "I'm still behind you," he said quietly, not wanting to draw attention from any of the younger students in the room.

Regulus ignored him and stalked into his dorm room. He held the door until Anthony was inside, then slammed it behind him. "Why are you following me?" he asked, crossing over to his bed.

"I want you to talk to me. I want things to be okay between us again." Anthony slipped one arm around Regulus' waist and looked down at him, tears brimming his eyes.

Regulus shook his head and narrowed his eyes. "No, you want this," he whispered. He pushed one hand behind Anthony's neck and pulled him to bring their lips together.

They kissed fiercely, pushing against each other. Anthony grazed his teeth over Regulus' lip and the boy whimpered at him. Regulus stepped back, dropping onto the bed, and pulled Anthony with him. Anthony laid out on top of him and wrapped his arms around him, making their kiss deeper. Regulus brought one hand behind the other boy's neck, holding him firm in place.

Anthony dug the tips of his fingers into the top of Regulus' pants and pulled back, fighting against the boy's efforts to keep their lips together. He managed to pull his lips away just enough to speak. "I thought you were mad at me."

"I am mad at you," Regulus whispered.

Anthony moved his lips onto Regulus' neck and kissed a trail from his shoulder to his ear. "I thought you said I was filthy," he whispered, tangling their legs together.

"You are filthy," Regulus growled, lifting his hips against Anthony and closing his eyes. He dragged his fingers down the boy's back and hissed as Anthony bit into his neck.

Anthony ran his tongue over the small red mark that he had just left on Regulus' neck. "I thought you said that I make you sick," he whispered into his ear.

"You do make me sick," Regulus answered, straining hard for proper breath.

"Then why are you doing this?" Anthony asked, tugging at the top of the boy's pants and sucking at his neck.

"Why are you?" Regulus asked, deflecting his own inquisition.

"Is that a legitimate question?" Anthony asked. He smiled at seeing Regulus' nod and pressed his lips once more to the boy's neck. "I'm doing it because I'm in love with you," he whispered.

Regulus froze and let out a sharp breath. "Get off of me," he said coldly. He pushed against Anthony and squirmed out from under him, making his way to the top of his bed. "Get out!"

"Regulus, don't freak out on me," Anthony said, crawling up the bed to him. "I love you and I know that you love me, you wouldn't be with me now if you didn't."

Regulus clambered off the bed and darted for the door. "You're delusional!" he shouted as he tore into the hallway. He ran past the other dorm rooms and into the bathroom, where he dropped onto his knees in front of a toilet and clung to the sides of it.

Regulus spent over half an hour being sick inside the small cubicle. When he finally stumbled back to his room, he found nothing more than a small note on his pillow.

**Regulus,  
****I'm sorry. I know I've said it before but  
****I'll keep saying it until you believe me.  
****I am in love with you and I will fight  
****to keep that same person that I have  
****come to know. That side of you that isn't  
****trying to be what your family wants or  
****what Will wants, that is who I'll fight for.  
****Anthony**

Regulus quickly set fire to the small note and watched as it burned and twitched, singeing a large hole into his blanket. He dragged his hand roughly through his hair and bit down on his bottom lip, swallowing the blood as it rushed into his mouth. He growled in frustration and slammed his left fist hard against the wall. Hissing loudly, he withdrew his hand and looked down at the exposed bone of his knuckles. He shook his head at his own foolishness and headed for the Hospital Wing.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Oh my. So...what do you guys think is going to happen between Anthony and Regulus? Do you see the possibility that they could be together, or will Anthony's blood status and tendency to deflect the truth be enough to keep them apart? :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	21. Keep Lying

**Chapter 21: Keep Lying**

**.**

The Great Hall was fairly empty for lunch. The students who had left for Easter break wouldn't be returning until the following afternoon and most of the students who stayed were in Hogsmeade. So, Regulus sat amongst the straggling first and second years, not in the mood to go down to the village. He was poking mindlessly at a sandwich on his plate. His appetite was non-existent due to the simple fact that Anthony had also chosen not to go to Hogsmeade.

Anthony was seated at his house table, eating with one hand and holding his book open on the table with the other. Though he wasn't looking at Regulus, he could feel the boy's eyes drilling into him from across the Hall. He marked his page and closed his book, then swiftly stowed away his glasses. He abandoned his plate, though only half finished with it, and headed out of the Great Hall.

Regulus jumped from the bench and trailed closely behind Anthony as he made his way to the library. He stopped at the doors and tried to pull his head together. He didn't want to go in without a plan, without some general idea of what he was going to say. He shoved his hands in his pockets and paced in front of the doors, breathing deeply.

Once Regulus was sure that he had lined out his thoughts, he pushed into the library and back to the couches. He stood in front of Anthony, staring down at him with cold eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He watched in silence as Anthony put away his book and looked up at him, expectantly.

"You were out there for half an hour and you still don't know how to say it," Anthony said quietly, a small smile on his face. "The words you want are _I love you too_."

Regulus narrowed his eyes and huffed. "I wasn't going to say that," he snapped. "You're bloody cracked if you think I could ever love you."

Anthony smiled again and took Regulus' hand, meeting no resistance. "Of course, you could never love someone like me. Someone with dirty blood, someone who would disgrace your family."

"That's right," Regulus answered, giving a small nod. He tugged on his hand, but Anthony held on to it tight. "I came to tell you that you have to stay away from me."

Anthony laughed and pulled on Regulus' hand, making him take a step forward. "You followed me, Regulus Black. You followed me to tell me to stay away? Now who's cracked?" He pulled on Regulus' hand again and reached out with his other one, wrapping it around the boy's leg. He pulled Regulus into his lap, straddling him, and locked his hands around his back.

"What are you doing?" Regulus asked, squirming in a small attempt to get away.

Anthony tightened his hold around Regulus's waist and lifted his head to meet the other boy's eyes. He lifted one hand and brushed it behind Regulus' neck, pulling him down into a kiss. Regulus gasped quietly and pushed down, returning the other boy's affection. He wrapped his arms around Anthony's neck and clung to him, tightly. Anthony trailed one hand down Regulus' back and pulled his lips away.

"What are you doing?" Anthony asked, mimicking Regulus' question with a grin. "Someone's going to see you."

Regulus let out a shaky breath and pressed his face into Anthony's neck. He closed his eyes and shifted closer against him. "I don't care," he whispered.

"Yes, you do," Anthony whispered back. He pushed Regulus on to the couch next to him and pulled off his glasses, stowing them in his pocket as he stood up.

"You're leaving?" Regulus asked, his tone suddenly angry.

Anthony looked down at Regulus with a crooked smile and held his hand out to him. "We're leaving," he said, simply.

Regulus took the boy's hand with no hesitation and allowed himself to be led out of the library and towards the Ravenclaw Tower. He hung his head as Anthony answered the question and led him through the empty common room. He let go of Anthony's hand as they stepped into the boy's dorm.

Anthony closed the door and pushed Regulus over to his bed, then shoved him down onto it. He moved over the younger boy and smiled when Regulus wrapped his arms around him, eagerly. He pushed their lips together, passionately and held on to him. Regulus was struggling for breath and closed his eyes, a painful look crossing his face.

Anthony pulled away and sat up on the bed, making Regulus whine and sit up as well.

"What...are...you..." Regulus shook his head and clutched one hand over his chest. "Come back," he said, barely getting the words choked out.

"Just calm down first, you can barely breathe." Anthony held up his hands and looked worried.

"Don't...care," Regulus manged to spit out. He moved over to Anthony and threw his arms around his neck.

Anthony pushed Regulus away as he tried to kiss him. "Regulus, just get your breathing back, I don't want to hurt you."

Regulus reached out and slapped his hand hard across Anthony's face and twisted his fingers into the boy's hair, pulling on it. He couldn't help but feel his actions were a bit girlie, but the look in Anthony's eyes made it clear that he had made his point. He stared at the boy with coldness in his eyes, his chest screaming for the air it was being denied. Anthony let out a sharp breath and pushed forward against Regulus, knocking him flat on the bed.

Anthony ignored the strained attempts at breathing that were coming from the other boy as he kissed him harshly and pressed down against him. After a minute, he raised up and roughly flipped Regulus onto his stomach. He slipped one arm around the boy's waist and pulled the button free on his pants. With his lips pressed to Regulus' neck, Anthony pulled down the top of the boy's pants until they were at his knees. He pushed on his own until they sat the same and moved against Regulus.

Sweat clung to both boys, sticking their shirts against their bodies as they moved violently. Regulus dug his fingers into the pillow and bit down on the edge of it to keep from crying out loudly. Shame swept through his body as he realized that he was enjoying the pain from Anthony's anger. He gasped for breath and felt a wave of dizziness wash over him. His eyes closed and he felt his own point of satisfaction near.

Soon after, Anthony fell onto the bed next to Regulus and pulled his pants up around his waist. Regulus rolled over onto his side and secured his clothes before looking at Anthony. He gave him a weak smile and swallowed hard, finally feeling his body even out. Anthony pulled Regulus into his arms and stared into his eyes. Regulus looked right back and moved his fingers, gently, across Anthony's arm.

"I love you," Anthony whispered, leaning in and pressing his lips softly against the other boy's.

Regulus returned the kiss, but pulled away from Anthony. "I don't love you, Anthony. I can never love you," he said pointedly as he climbed off of the bed. He turned and glared at the boy as he felt him grab his hand.

Anthony pulled Regulus into another kiss and locked their eyes. "I can tell when you lie, Regulus. Just tell me how you really feel about me."

"How I really feel about you," Regulus repeated. "I really feel that I hate you. I hate that you make me want you." He jerked his hand away and set his jaw with anger. "I hate that you make me so weak." He turned from Anthony's fallen face and quickly fled the Tower.

Regulus moved quickly through the hallways, his eyes on the floor. He didn't even recall entering the Slytherin common room or making his way to the bathroom. Next thing he actively remembered was standing in the shower, fully clothed. Scorching hot water poured over his shaking body as he heaved dryly, sick at the words he had spoken. He was thankful for his inability to eat that day. He stood in the water for a good two hours, his body still, his mind replaying the afternoon.

Regulus spell dried himself and headed into the dormitory. He moved to look at himself in the mirror and scowled at his reflection. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he growled at his reflection. "You're acting like a fool. A weak fool. You are not weak, Regulus Black, you are feared. You are going to be a Death Eater soon." His eyes flashed with anger and he grabbed the mirror from the wall.

He flung the mirror against the opposite wall and watched as the tiny, silver shards clattered to the floor. "Stop letting him make you weak!" he shouted at himself as he dropped onto his bed and pulled the curtains around him to block out the light.

* * *

Topher silently put away his things as Will and Regulus sat, waiting for him. They had arrived back at school over an hour ago and Will was eager to get outside and practice as Bellatrix had suggested.

"Look, I'm gonna head out to the edge of the forest," Will said, having had enough of Topher's stalling. "When this one is done, you two meet me out there." He gave a small huff and charged out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Topher glared at his brother's back and sat down on the edge of the bed when the door closed. "Are you really going to go out there and kill things? I know that you've done it before, but never with the curse."

Regulus nodded and raised one eyebrow at Topher. "What's the big deal? You're acting really weird, lately. You aren't...having doubts are you? About the future."

Topher's right hand mindlessly closed over his left forearm. He let out a nervous laugh and shook his head. "No. I'm not doubting anything," he said, pulling an innocent face. "Are you? I mean once you join up, you won't be offing cats. You'll be killing people."

"I know that," Regulus said with a shrug. He stood up and took a glance into his fixed mirror, smiling at his reflection.

"Killing Muggles and Muggle-borns, like Anthony," Topher said, walking over to Regulus and looking down his nose at him.

Regulus shrugged again and turned away. "Like I even care."

A loud crashing sound made Regulus spin around and drop his jaw. Topher had swept his arm across the top of Regulus' dresser, knocking everything to the floor.

"You're a fucking liar, Regulus! I'm supposed to be your best mate and you can't stop lying to me!" Topher shouted, his face red and his nostrils flared. "I'm going somewhere else. Don't you dare follow me," he growled as he took off out of the dormitory.

Regulus shook his head and made a confused face as he waved his wand over the mess in the floor, placing his belongings back into their proper place. He let out a heavy sigh and forced a smile onto his face as he headed outside to find Will. His eyes flicked momentarily as he passed the library, but he stood his course. He had already decided that he wasn't going to let Anthony call the shots anymore. He was going to be strong, he was going to be in charge.

* * *

Anthony grabbed Regulus' hand as he made his way back inside from the grounds. He pulled him over into an alcove and smiled down at him. "Want to sneak off behind the greenhouses for a while?" he asked, a slight laugh in his voice.

Regulus smiled up at him and nodded.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Any guesses on Topher's problem? Come on...some of you have to have it figured out by now. I know you do. For the ones who don't, it will be revealed in time, so just hang in there. Also, anyone care to place a guess on the mystery boy from Chapter 1? Let me know what you think of the chapter and Regulus' resolve to be the one calling the shots. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	22. I Hate You for Loving Me

**Chapter 22: I Hate You for Loving Me**

**.**

The following two weeks were a blur for Regulus. Classes and homework were stressful. With O.W.L.s right around the corner the professors were doing everything they could to make sure the students were ready. When he wasn't studying, Regulus was being dragged around by Will so they could practice their curses. Regulus couldn't help but feel a little proud at being the first to master the killing curse.

What time wasn't being given to school work or Will was being used to sneak away with Anthony. Their time together was minimal, but both boys savored every moment of it. They would hide away behind the greenhouses or sneak into a broom closet when they could spare a moment.

Sometimes, the boy's would use their time for the more physical aspects of their relationship, but other times, they would simply be together. Regulus had even realized how handy it was to be with someone so smart the day that Anthony offered to help him prepare for his O.W.L.s. The days that they couldn't manage to find time for each other, Regulus would wait until lights out and make his way into Anthony's room. He was growing quite used to the cryptic knocker and finding the questions easier to answer.

When Regulus' birthday came along, he was so stressed that he barely noticed. It wasn't until lunch, when Elizabeth gave him a birthday greeting, that he even remembered he was finally sixteen. He looked slightly embarrassed, as did Topher, who had clearly forgotten as well.

"Thanks, Elizabeth," Regulus muttered, keeping his face down to hide his blush.

Elizabeth smiled and took a seat on the bench next to Topher, who casually slipped his arm around her shoulders. Regulus looked up and grinned at his friend, shooting him a quick wink. Silence overtook the table as everyone finished their lunch. Time for class rolled around and Regulus pulled Topher aside.

"Hey, would you mind taking notes for me in Binns' class? I don't wanna spend my birthday in that boring lecture." Regulus smiled hopefully and briefly cut his eyes towards the Ravenclaw table.

Topher smirked and patted Regulus on the back. "Sure, I will," he answered with a small laugh. "I'll see you after class then." He turned and darted off to catch up with Elizabeth.

Regulus rushed back to the table and dug through his bag for something to write a note. His eyes kept raising towards Anthony, making sure he was still at the Ravenclaw table, as he wrote.

**Skip class, just this one time.  
****I want to spend time with you  
****for my birthday. Come to my  
****room after lunch?  
****Password is Serpent**.

Regulus quickly charmed the note to fold itself into a tiny spider and crawl across the Great Hall to Anthony. He gathered up his bag and headed off to his dormitory. He frowned at a small group of third years and gave them a threat about skipping class. He didn't care, he just didn't want anyone in the room when Anthony came.

He laid out on his bed and rolled onto his side, curling up slightly. Between the low quality of sleep he had been getting and the comfort of the bed, it wasn't hard for Regulus to drift off to sleep while waiting. He was asleep for a good twenty minutes before he felt someone shake him and wrap their arms around him.

"Anthony?" Regulus asked, still a bit groggy. He rubbed at his eyes and laid his hand on one of the arms around him.

"Yeah, it's me. Who else would it be?" Anthony whispered, shifting to lay on the front side of Regulus. "Is today really your birthday?" he asked, a hint of doubt in his voice.

Regulus gave a small nod and scooted closer to the older boy. He licked his lips and smiled at him, then leaned forward for a kiss. Just before their lips touched, Regulus got up onto his knees. He pulled the curtains closed and fell back onto the bed, resuming his position.

Anthony pressed their lips together and brushed his hand down Regulus' arm. When he finally pulled his lips away, he smiled at the other boy and sat up. "I should probably get out of here. I don't want anyone to catch me."

Regulus jumped up and shook his head. "No, no, no, no, that's why we're doing this during class. That's why I closed the curtains." He grabbed Anthony's hand and held onto it tightly. "Please don't go yet. I just...I just want to spend some time with you."

A crooked smile crossed Anthony's face and he laid back onto the bed. "We could spend a lot more time together if we didn't have to sneak around," he said simply.

Regulus sighed heavily and linked his fingers with Anthony's. "You really wanna waste time on this conversation again?" he asked with an annoyed tone. "You know that you aren't going to change my mind."

"It isn't a waste of time," Anthony snapped. "I don't care how many times you tell me no, I'm going to keep asking."

Regulus sat up and narrowed his eyes. "It's getting annoying, Anthony. There is _nothing_ that you can say or do that will change my mind. Nothing. I'm not going to disgrace my family."

"Like your brother," Anthony continued as he sat up and leaned forward.

Regulus put his finger up between himself and Anthony and closed his eyes. "Shut up," he growled. "You don't have the slightest clue what my family is like."

Anthony grabbed Regulus' hand from in front of him, making the boy open his eyes and glare. "I know that your family is a bunch of cruel people that are obsessed with blood purity and the Dark Arts. Your brother had enough sense to get away from that life. Why can't you wake up?"

"My brother is going to regret the day that he turned his back on the proper side," Regulus sneered. "When the Dark Lo-"

"Don't you dare mention that to me! How can you still believe in all of that, all of those ways, after...me?" Anthony rubbed his face with his hands and took a deep breath.

Regulus turned his face away and scoffed. "You think you're so special?" He shook his head and pulled his knees to his chest. "You're nothing to me, Anthony. Can't you see that? Why would I give up my future for _nothing_?"

"Nothing. I'm nothing to you?" Anthony repeated, annoyance and disbelief in his words. "If I'm nothing to you, then why do you keep running back to me? Why the hell am I here right now if I'm nothing?"

"You have a point," Regulus said, curtly. He ripped open his side curtain and pointed to the door. "Get out."

"I'm not leaving. We are going to finish this conversation," Anthony argued. "I can't stand this back and forth. One minute you're looking into my eyes and smiling and then it's like something snaps in that fucking head of yours." He rapped his finger on the side of Regulus' head, making the boy slap at his hand and frown. "You snap and you're a different person."

"I'm the same person." Regulus scooted away from Anthony and stared over at him. "If I snap, then it's your fault. If you're so tired of the...back and forth, as you call it, then get lost. No one is forcing you to be around me."

"I stay around you because I love you! I love that part of you that I see when you're vulnerable. That person who smiles and laughs and doesn't give a shit what blood I have." Anthony grabbed the sides of Regulus' face and looked into his eyes. "There has to be a way to keep that person."

Regulus pushed his arms around Anthony's neck and crashed their lips together. He kissed him, harshly and bit down on the older boy's lip, drawing blood. Anthony hissed and pulled away. He brought his hand to his lips and stared at Regulus with concern. Regulus simply pointed to the door again.

"I don't want to see you anymore." Regulus kept his eyes in his lap and his hands steady. "I mean it. I want you to get out and never come near me again."

"You don't mean that. You've said it before and you always took it back. You are always trying to tell me that you hate me and it isn't true." Anthony laid his hand on Regulus' face and sighed.

Regulus shoved Anthony away from him and stood up. "I do hate you! Why is that so hard for you to believe? I hate you. I fucking hate you," he growled. "I hate that you make me feel so damn weak. I hate that I feel like I can't think proper when you're around. I hate the way you look at me and more than anything, I _hate_ the way I look at you." He grabbed Anthony's arm and pulled him to his feet.

"You don't hate me. You can't stand that I make you feel something," Anthony protested as Regulus shoved him towards the door. He grabbed onto the younger boy's shoulders and gave him a shake, snapping him to attention. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't want me."

Regulus stared hard into Anthony's deep blue eyes and let out a sharp breath. "I don't want you," he said slowly, his tone cold.

Anthony gave a weak nod and turned from the room. Regulus watched the boy walk away and turned back to his bed. He sat down on the edge of it and clutched at his stomach, fighting the urge to become sick.

* * *

Regulus tossed in his bed, unable to get comfortable. The sounds of his sleeping dorm mates was driving him to a point where he wanted to smoother them all, including a snoring Topher. He forced his eyes closed and groaned as a flash of blue made him open them again. He shook his head violently and flung the covers off of his body.

Moving quietly, so as to not wake anyone, he slipped on his robe and night shoes. He moved carefully through the corridors, being sure to not get caught by any teachers or ghosts. He took a deep breath as he approached the entrance to the Ravenclaw Tower and waited for the question.

"Can a Dementor die?" asked the knocker.

Regulus dropped his jaw and swallowed hard. "Um...well, yes. I say they can. If something can live, then it can die. There is no such thing as unconditional immortality." He let out a sharp breath and crossed his fingers.

He gave a small hop when the door opened and peeked inside, ensuring that no one would see him. He headed upstairs into the proper room and stood next to Anthony's bed.

Gently, and with held breath, Regulus pulled back the curtain to Anthony's bed. He gasped quietly when Anthony's eyes opened and the boy looked up at him. He smiled and knelt on the edge of the bed. Anthony scooted over and pulled the Slytherin under the blanket with him, then closed the curtain again.

"How can you love someone who's such a heartless liar?" Regulus whispered as they wrapped their arms around each other.

Anthony smiled and pressed his forehead against Regulus'. "You aren't heartless."

Regulus cut his eyes away and laid his head onto the pillow. "You sure?"

"I'm sure," Anthony whispered, letting out a small laugh. He laid his hand on the side of Regulus' face and smiled at him. He pushed his lips down into a gentle kiss and Regulus returned his affection, just as gently.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thoughts? Yes. Leave me some. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	23. Thicker Than Blood

**Chapter 23: Thicker Than Blood**

**.**

All was silent in the Ravenclaw common room as Regulus sneaked his way back into the halls of the school. His footsteps echoed slightly off the walls, causing some of the portraits to open their eyes and glare at the boy who was waking them early. He slipped into the Slytherin common room, without getting caught, and headed for his own bed. Just as he reached for his curtains, he felt a tap on his shoulder, making his heart stop.

Regulus spun around and gasped out of shock. "Topher, are you trying to make me scream? What are you doing?" he asked in a hissing whisper.

"What am I doing? What are _you_ doing? Sneaking into bed again, I see. This is the fourth time this week." Topher crossed his arms and set his jaw, clearly waiting.

"I'm not sneaking. I just didn't want to wake anyone. What, are you spying on me?" Regulus asked, raising one eyebrow.

"No. If I was spying, I would follow you when you leave at night," Topher answered, sincerely. "I just know when you aren't in your bed, is all. Where are you going at night?"

Regulus bit down on his bottom lip and cut his eyes to the floor. "I, um...well I go to...I just walk aro-"

"Stop." Topher held up his hand and scoffed. "I'll save you the trouble of trying to come up with a lie that isn't shit. You don't have to tell me." He dropped his hand and walked back over to his bed, dragging his hand through his hair, which was clearly being grown out. "I just wish you would be honest with me."

Regulus turned away from Topher and pulled open his bed curtains. "Honesty is over rated. It's better if you don't know."

"Better? Better for who? It isn't better for me that my best mate is hiding something from me. What are you keeping secret? Why can't you talk to me?" Topher walked back over to Regulus and spun him around by his shoulder. "Talk to me."

Regulus took a deep breath and licked his lips. "It isn't something that I want to talk about. I don't even want to think about it, so I definitely don't want to talk about it." He batted Topher's hand away and turned back to his bed. "Let it go. It isn't your business."

Topher shook his head and let out a heavy sigh before heading out of the room.

* * *

The following days held the O.W.L. exams, which kept Regulus pinned to a table in the common room, studying, when not testing. He was feeling rather confident in himself as he headed out of his final test, Potions written. Rather than head towards the _after O.W.L.s party_, he headed out onto the grounds and raced behind the greenhouses.

Anthony was leaned against the back wall, his attention focused on a small wooden contraption. He glanced up as Regulus rounded the corner and smiled at him. He held up the puzzle and pointed to it. "I almost have it."

"Well, put it away for now." Regulus pulled the puzzle from Anthony's hand and shoved it into the bag by the boy's feet. He dropped his own bag beside it and wrapped his arms around Anthony's neck.

Anthony held Regulus around the waist and grinned down at him. "You're in a good mood. I take it you did well on the test."

"I think I did," Regulus said with a nod. "Thanks to you."

Anthony rubbed his fingertips down Regulus' back and leaned forward. Just as their lips grazed, a small gasp could be heard from beside them. Both boys dropped their arms and turned to see Elizabeth staring at them with a face showing both shock and anger.

"You son of a bitch!" Elizabeth screamed, pointing at Regulus. She rushed over and shoved Regulus in the chest, knocking him back a few steps. "I knew it! I knew that something was going on and I even said that he..." She turned her head and glared at Anthony. "I'm telling Will," she snapped.

Regulus reached out and caught Elizabeth by her arm, shoving his wand into her chest. "You aren't saying anything," he hissed.

"Do what you want. I'll just tell on you when I recover." Elizabeth got a defiant look and sneered at Regulus.

"You don't recover from death, bitch." Regulus twisted his wand and tightened his hold on her arm.

Anthony grabbed Regulus' wrist and tried to ease his wand away. "Regulus, don't say things like that," he whispered. "Just put it away, everything will be fine."

"Go on then," Elizabeth prodded. "Go on and practice. I'm sure that the Dark Lord would be so proud," she sneered

Regulus' eyes flashed with anger and he turned loose of Elizabeth's arm. Both her and Anthony relaxed their bodies, thinking he was backing off. With one smooth motion, he whipped his hand around and slammed it against the side of Elizabeth's head, knocking her to the ground. Anthony stepped in front of Regulus and stared at him in horror.

Elizabeth let out a small squeal and crawled backwards towards the greenhouse. "You fucking asshole!" she shrieked as she pulled herself to her feet.

Regulus stepped around Anthony and grabbed onto Elizabeth, shoving her back into the greenhouse wall and holding her in place. He raised his wand and growled when Anthony's hand closed around his own. "Let go."

"Regulus, put it down. We can fix this without violence." Anthony put his arm around Regulus' waist and tried to pull him back.

Elizabeth watched in fear as Regulus shook his head. "Fine," he spat. "You don't want me to hurt her, I won't." He lowered his wand and took a step away.

Elizabeth gave a heavy sigh of relief and backed away from Regulus. "I won't tell anyone. I swear to you I won't," she whispered.

"Damn right, you won't," Regulus sneered. As Elizabeth turned her back, he pulled his hand from Anthony's and pointed his wand at her. "_Obliviate_!"

Anthony gasped and grabbed Regulus around his chest as a bolt of light shot from the boy's wand and knocked Elizabeth to the ground. "Are you insane?" he whispered. "What did you do? Regulus, you could have done serious damage." He turned away from the younger boy and dropped onto his knees beside Elizabeth.

"I had to," Regulus said, coldly. "She would have said something eventually. I've made it perfectly clear that people can't find out about us." He brushed his hand back through his hair and sighed.

"Yeah, well now there isn't an _us _to find out about." Anthony lifted Elizabeth into his arms and shook his head. "I'm taking her to the Hospital Wing. You went too far, Regulus. I can't be around you anymore."

Regulus swallowed hard and watched as Anthony walked away with Elizabeth. He took a strained breath and shook his head violently as though it would make the words he heard simply be unsaid. He grabbed at his hair and growled loudly, then kicked his foot into Anthony's bag, making it topple over. "Go then!" he shouted at the fallen bag.

Regulus kicked the bag again and sent the contents scattering across the ground. "I don't care," he growled as he picked up one of Anthony's books and flung it hard against the back of the greenhouse. "I don't care," he repeated, slowly this time, as he brought his hands to his head. He covered his ears to block out the distant sound of children laughing on the grounds.

He pulled out his wand and streaked it through the air, making all of Anthony's belongings jump from the ground and burst into flames. "I don't care!" he screamed at the flashes of fire as it ate into the books and wooden puzzle. He swept up his own bag and hitched it on his shoulder as he turned his back on the flames and stormed towards the school. He walked with his head down, paying no attention to where he was going.

Regulus collided hard with another figure and fell back onto the ground. "Damn it," he growled as he rolled over and climbed to his feet. "Oh, great," he muttered as he set eyes on who he had run into.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sirius asked, tucking his hair behind his ear. "Are you alright?" He reached out and brushed some dirt off of his brother's shoulder.

Regulus swatted the boy's hand away and narrowed his eyes. "Fuck off."

"Hey! I just asked if you were okay. You don't have to be a jerk." Sirius crossed his arms and scowled.

"Well, that's what I am. A jerk. After all this time, you should be used to it," Regulus sneered and tried to step around Sirius.

Sirius put his arm out and stopped his brother. "Don't say that. You aren't always a jerk." He turned Regulus to face him and looked on him with concern. "You look awful."

"Thanks," Regulus spat and rolled his eyes. "That's exactly what I like to hear. Now, if you will back off," he shoved Sirius away from him, "I have somewhere else to be." He stalked towards the door.

Sirius chased after him, catching the boy just before he stepped into the school. "Regulus, talk to me."

Regulus rounded on his brother and dropped his bag to the ground. "Talk to you? All of a sudden, you want me to talk to you. You parade around this damn school like some big shot who ditched his family and you want me to talk to you." He shook his head and gave his brother a look of disgust.

"I'm still your brother. I still care about you. I left them, not you." Sirius tightened his lips.

"You aren't my brother. You did..." Regulus stared at the ground and took several frantic breaths. He cut his eyes up at his brother and felt rage build in his chest. Without thinking, he reached out and shoved his hands into Sirius' chest, while swinging his leg behind the older boy's, knocking his knees away and making him fall back to the ground.

Sirius had been caught off guard and hit the ground hard. He growled and grabbed his brother's leg, bringing him to the ground as well. Regulus put his hands out to break his fall and hissed as pain shot through his arms. He got onto his knees and swung his fist around behind him, crashing it sideways into the side of Sirius' head. Sirius screamed out several profanities and grabbed his brother by the shoulders, forcing him down onto the ground, face down. He put his knee in the small of Regulus' back and held back his arms.

Regulus was used to this maneuver out of his brother. It was usually the end to any fight, be it real or in play, that the boy's engaged in. This time, Regulus wasn't ready to yield. He lifted himself onto his hands, ignoring the pain in both his arms and his back, and flipped Sirius onto the ground beside him. He reached out with his fist and slammed it into the older boy's ear, making him cry out and lunge at Regulus.

Sirius got onto his knees and threw his shoulder against Regulus' chest. "Stop it, damn it. I don't wanna fight!"

Regulus fell back onto the ground and swung his foot out, catching Sirius in his stomach and knocking the breath out of him. "No, you wanna run away!" he shouted angrily.

Sirius gasped for breath and put his hands out to catch his brother just as the boy was jumping at him. Regulus flung all of his weight into the attack and knocked Sirius onto his back. Sirius shouted again and struggled to get free from his brother. He rolled onto his side, causing Regulus to tumble off onto the ground. Regulus hit the ground hard, having not been prepared to catch himself. The side of the boy's head hit against the edge of the stone walkway with a sickening crack.

Stars flooded Regulus' eyes and a wave of nausea and dizziness overtook his body. He blinked a few times and reached up to touch his head where it had hit the stone. His hand moved back in front of his face, coated in a sticky red. He let out a ragged breath as his eyes fluttered closed and he lost consciousness.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: I think I am more amused by Regulus being knocked out cold that I should be. Please say I'm not the only one screaming "That's what you get!" Okay, so do you guys believe Anthony when he says that things are over? Let me know what you think! :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	24. Here is Your Second Chance

**Chapter 24: Here is Your Second Chance**

**.**

Whispering. Regulus could hear whispering. He couldn't make out what was being said, but he could hear people whispering. He tried to force his eyes open, but the pounding in his head was begging him to not let in the light. He took a deep breath and tried to figure out where he was.

"So, he'll be released tonight?" Sirius' voice was unmistakable.

"Don't you worry, Mister Black. I'll release your brother when he's up to full strength." That's the nurse.

Regulus frowned at realizing he was in the Hospital Wing. The memories of the fight with his brother came rushing back to him, followed by the memories of his fight with Anthony. He willed his eyes to open and move around the room. One of the beds had the curtain closed around it. The curtain parted and Anthony's head poked out.

"Did you just say that your brother is here?" Anthony asked, walking towards Sirius.

Regulus snapped his eyes back closed and waited.

"Yeah," came Sirius' voice, a hint of confusion in it. "What do you care?"

"What happened?" Anthony asked, ignoring Sirius' question.

"He hit his head. Knocked him out cold." Sirius' voice got louder as he spoke, as though he were moving closer, and a small laugh followed his words.

"Glad you think it's so damn funny," Anthony spat, his tone filled with disgust. His words were loud. He was right next to the bed.

"What?" Sirius laughed again. "That's what he gets for attacking me. The little idiot had it -"

"Don't call him that," Anthony interrupted.

"What do you care what I call _my_ brother? As I recall, you were on the receiving end of some of his crazy not too long ago," Sirius growled.

Regulus felt a hand on his shoulder from the side where Anthony's voice was. "You don't know anything about him. Not really," Anthony said quietly. "He just needs someone."

"He just needs medication," Sirius snapped.

Regulus could hear Anthony make a cry of protest and he opened his eyes to see Sirius dragging Anthony by the arm. He could hear a hissing, whispered argument, but he couldn't hear it all.

From Anthony's side, he could hear several objections and sighs. From Sirius, he was quite sure the word _spiders _kept being repeated. Then the words _Winston_ and _curse_. That made Regulus' heart stop. He swallowed hard, hoping to hear something from Anthony's side again, but nothing came. He sighed and leaned against his pillow, feeling the dull pain in the side of his head.

Sirius stepped back into view and looked over at his brother. "You're alive. Guess my conscience is clear." He turned and took a few steps away before glancing back at Regulus. "Do you want to move in with me? I got a two bedroom in case you changed your mind about the future," he asked coldly.

"I'd rather die," Regulus sneered, turning his face from his brother.

* * *

Regulus walked slowly through the hallways, still not feeling completely stable from his blow to the head. He slipped into the Ravenclaw Tower as a small girl was walking out and headed up to Anthony's room. Another boy was talking with Anthony when he stepped in. The boy looked at Regulus with an almost fearful expression and cut his eyes back to Anthony.

"It's alright, Geoffrey," Anthony said, sitting on the edge of his bed and scooting his open trunk back. "Could you excuse us for a minute?"

Geoffrey gaped at Anthony and shook his head. "Are you serious? Do you wanna get yourself killed?"

"He said get lost, Davies," Regulus growled. His hand flinched towards his pocket, but he kept it in place, refusing to use his wand.

Geoffrey looked back over at Anthony, who nodded towards the door. "Suit yourself, it's your funeral." He tore from the room, muttering under his breath.

Regulus pushed the door closed behind the boy and hurried over to Anthony. He dropped onto his knees in front of the older boy and looked up into his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said with sincerity.

"Sorry for what?" Anthony asked, raising his eyebrows.

Regulus swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "For...everything. Where do I even begin? I'm sorry that I made you feel like you couldn't tell me that you were Muggle-born. I'm sorry that I over reacted and made a mess out of it when you did tell me." He climbed up and sat down on the bed next to Anthony. He brushed his thumb across the other boy's jaw line and frowned. "I'm sorry that I hit you." He dropped his hand and looked at the floor.

Anthony sat in silence for a while before taking Regulus by the hand. "Did you really use the Cruciatus curse on David Winston?" he whispered, his hand flinching.

Regulus let out a long breath and nodded. "Yes."

"What you did to Elizabeth was..." Anthony rubbed at his eyes with his free hand.

"I know," Regulus whispered. "That's over. That...that...crazy, violent attitude..." He got onto his knees on the bed and grabbed Anthony's face with both hands. "I swear to you, nothing like that will happen again. I can...I will change. I really can."

Anthony shook his head and pulled Regulus' hands from his face.

"Don't!" Regulus cried out, grabbing at Anthony's hands. He sniffled hard and felt his eyes start to sting. "Don't just turn me away," he begged. Two white hot tears rolled down his face and dripped onto the bed.

Anthony stared up into Regulus' eyes, shocked at seeing them filled with tears. "You're crying."

"Yes, I'm crying," Regulus said, his words broken. He pressed his palms to his eyes, desperate to make it stop, but the tears kept coming. He dropped his hands and rubbed the back of one across his nose. Several sobs escaped his throat and the tears began streaming down his face.

"I thought you said crying was a weakness," Anthony whispered, his voice distant.

Regulus wiped at his face and nodded. "It is," he said through the tears.

"Then why are y-"

"Because, I love you, Anthony!" Regulus shouted at the boy. "Every time that I told you I didn't love you it made me sick. It was never _you_ that I hated." He wiped at his reddening eyes and grabbed onto Anthony's shirt. "It was me. I hated myself because..." He sniffled again and hung his head.

Anthony pushed one hand behind Regulus' neck, making him look up. "You love me?"

Regulus nodded.

"You say you can change."

Regulus nodded again.

Anthony closed his eyes and moved away from Regulus. "I can't," he whispered. "You scare the hell out of me, Regulus. I love you, but I don't think you can change." He put his hands in his hair and paced in front of the bed.

Regulus jumped up and stood in front of Anthony, looking up at him. "I can! I can change. If you just give me a chance, I know that I can."

Anthony licked his lips and rubbed his hands down over his face. "Here's your chance," he said, stepping away from Regulus. "Go back to your room...and tell Topher that you're in love with me."

"What?" Regulus hissed. "Why are you getting him involved? He doesn't matter to us."

"Yes, he does, Regulus! Topher matters. Will matters. Your parents, your cousin, your brother, that poxy fucking Lord that you're so desperate to serve... They all matter!" Anthony grabbed Regulus into his arms and looked down at him with unyielding fervor, locking their eyes. "You tell Topher and I'll be patient with the rest. He's your best mate. He won't care!"

Regulus stared up at the older boy with wide eyes. He took several frantic breaths and closed his eyes tightly, dropping his head to the floor.

"Good bye, Regulus," Anthony said quietly, pushing the younger boy towards his door. He shoved him onto the landing and slammed the door behind him.

Regulus laid his head against the door and evened out his breathing. He dried his eyes and let out a slow breath, then headed back to his common room. He barely noticed the girl that got up to follow him as he walked into his dormitory. The door slammed closed behind them, but he didn't care. He sat down on the edge of his bed and looked up at Elizabeth with disdain.

"I know it was you," Elizabeth hissed, pointing her finger into Regulus' face. "I can't remember the last two bloody weeks of my life and I _know _it was you." She balled her hands into fists and held them at her sides.

"You know it was me?" Regulus asked, his words slow and lacking concern. He licked over his lips and stood up, bringing his face close to Elizabeth's. "You know that I cursed you and you chose to come in here and confront me...alone?"

"So you admit it?" Elizabeth swallowed hard and took a step away from Regulus.

Regulus reached out and grabbed Elizabeth by her hair, closing his fist tightly around it and making her yelp. She swung her hand at him, but he caught her by the wrist with his free hand. With a few steps, he backed her against the wall and sneered in her face.

"Yes, I admit it," Regulus hissed. "I should do it again, too. Wipe out every memory you have in that pathetic little brain." He jerked his hands and made Elizabeth whimper. "Would serve you right, you nosy bitch."

Elizabeth closed her eyes, trying to block out the pain. She let out a raged breath and smiled through the hurt. "What did I see, Regulus?" she whispered, opening her eyes and giving him a knowing look. "What did I catch you doing that was so bad you would curse me?"

"You...you ruined everything," Regulus spat. He pulled her from the wall and slammed her back against it, hate flashing in his eyes as he watched her head bounce off of the stone.

"I caught you with Anthony, didn't I?" Elizabeth whispered, feeling dizzy from the pain. "I knew it."

"You're wrong," Regulus bit, twisting his hands and flinging her towards the door. "Get out before I do something worse to you. No one would give a shit if I put down the filthy offspring of a filthy Mudblood."

Elizabeth let out a high pitched laugh as she grabbed onto the door knob. She turned back to Regulus, running her tongue over her teeth. "He's the one that carried me to the Hospital Wing, you dolt. I know that I caught you with him."

Regulus shoved his left hand into his pocket and closed it around his wand, raising his eyebrows at Elizabeth. "You shouldn't have said that."

Elizabeth smiled and stood up straight, leaning back against the door. "Topher saw you with him...before Christmas," she said, her voice like a tiny bell. "They talk about you behind your back. They have been for months." Her eyes lit up with satisfaction when Regulus released his wand and moved back to his bed.

"Get out, Elizabeth."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: There it is. Now you know Topher's problem. So, how do you think Regulus is going to react to the knowledge that he has been the victim of more "withholding information" by not only Anthony, but his best friend? Does Regulus seem the "let it go" type to you? :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	25. Screams

**Chapter 25: Screams **

**.**

The Slytherin dungeon was silent. Several house-elves moved about, quietly cleaning up the mess left behind from the small House party that had died down a few hours earlier. All of the students were tucked away into their beds, enjoying the last night in the school before morning came and it was time to head to the train. A scream shot through the dungeons, filling every corner and waking many of the students.

Regulus sat perched on the edge of his bed, his face cold and distant as he listened to Topher's wailing and watched the boy frantically rip back his curtains and dive to the floor beside his bed. Topher hit the floor with a loud thud and sprung to his feet, swatting helplessly at his body. He started ripping at his clothes, letting out an occasional growl full of fear.

The other two boys in the dormitory were peeking out of the curtains to their beds, but neither dared to step out and help the erratic boy. Tiny voices could be heard from the other side of the door, making them all certain there was a gathering outside of the dorm, all curious about the panicked screams. No one dared to knock or come in.

Topher, who had stripped himself of his shirt and was now brushing his hands violently over his bare chest and arms, looked up at Regulus with horror in his eyes. "Get them off of me, Regulus!" he shouted, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

Regulus sat unmoving, his wand clutched so hard in his left hand that his knuckles were drained of their color. He raised one eyebrow at Topher and pulled his lips into a smirk. "Get what off of you?" he asked, an eerie hint of pleasure lacing his words.

"Stop fucking around, Regulus! Get these damn spiders off of me! Now!" Topher was dragged his nails over his arms so hard that his skin started to flake and peel away. Tears poured from his eyes and he backed himself up against the cold stone wall, using it to help support his weight. "Regulus, please stop!" He started shaking his legs spastically and growling from the pain he was inflicting on his own body.

"Spiders?" Regulus asked, voice sickeningly casual. "Topher, I don't see any spiders." He turned his head towards one of the spying dorm mates and smiled. "Do you see any spiders, Nelson?"

Nelson shook his head and stared at Topher with concern. "There aren't any spiders on you, Mulciber," he said quietly.

Regulus turned back to Topher with a satisfied grin on his face. "See, there aren't any spiders."

Topher was still digging at his body and swatting at the spiders only he could see and feel. "Regulus, whatever you're doing, just stop it. Please! Just make it stop!" he screamed, his words forced out through choking sobs. He threw himself onto the ground and rolled over, letting out another growl.

Regulus sighed and stood up, crossing over to where Topher was curled up on the floor, shaking. "Since you asked so nicely, I guess I'll help you," he said, smiling down at his friend. He waved his wand over the sobbing boy and watched as Topher relaxed onto the floor in relief as the illusion faded away.

Topher took several deep breaths and rolled onto his stomach to get onto his hands and knees. He crawled over to his bed, his arms weak and shaking, and pulled himself up onto it. Regulus summoned the boy's shed shirt and walked over to Topher, holding it out to him with a satisfied smile. Topher snatched it from his hand and pulled it on, then cast his eyes over his damaged skin. Several places on his arms had been dug into so deeply that drops of blood were pooling on his skin.

"Alright, Regulus, you made your point," Topher whispered, dragging the hem of his shirt over the blood to clean his arms.

Regulus ran his tongue over the front of his teeth and narrowed his eyes at Topher. He opened his mouth to speak, but let his words go unsaid, instead simply letting out a sharp breath. As he headed back to his own bed, he glanced over at Nelson and raised one eyebrow at him, his eyes silently questioning the boy. Nelson's head quickly disappeared back into the curtain.

* * *

It was uncomfortably quiet inside the train compartment on the Hogwarts Express. Two boys sat on opposite sides of the car, staring distantly out of the window at the trees and fields that rushed by. An awkward sigh. A hesitant cough. Shuffling of clothes against seat as one shifted nervously. Nails dragging loudly over skin, fighting off a persistent itch. Then finally...

"Whatever he did, I'm sure he deserved it."

Regulus sighed at the broken silence and turned his head towards Will, who was staring at him with sympathetic eyes. "I'm not telling you what he did."

"I didn't ask. I'm just saying whatever it was, I'm sure it was bad enough to deserve what you did." Will clasped his hands in front of him and leaned forward, resting his weight in his arms over his legs. "If you ask me, he should just be glad that you didn't use real spiders."

"Well, I _didn't_ ask you, so just shut up about it." Regulus turned to lean his back against the wall and put his feet up in the seat beside him. He stared out of the window, not truly focusing on anything he was seeing, his mind replaying the argument he had with Topher that morning before heading for the train.

Regulus was mad when he knew that Topher had known about him and Anthony the entire time. He was even angrier to find out that Anthony had known that Topher had known about them the entire time. His anger reached a new level of existence when Topher confessed to him that he and Anthony had been talking behind his back. Not just about the relationship either, they had been discussing Regulus' family, his grades, his future, his ideas, his habits, everything about him, right down to whether he was eating properly or not when he was stressed out.

Sick. It made Regulus sick to think on. The worst part, as he saw it, was that Anthony's offer of another chance had been a set up. Regulus was afraid to tell his _best friend_ about Anthony and he knew it. Anthony knew that his best friend already knew about them and rather than tell Regulus, rather than bring him a moment of peace, he chose to let him go on and fear losing Topher over his new found urges. To think, he was afraid of losing his best friend, his hypocritical best friend, who stacked Regulus' lies in front of him to hide his own deceit.

Regulus rubbed at his face, roughly, trying to clear his head from thinking about Anthony or Topher. The sound of the snack trolley banging down the aisle of the train brought Regulus to his feet. Perhaps a good dose of sugar would be what he needed to pull his mind from his worries. He slid open the compartment door and leaned against the frame, waiting for the witch to get closer to his car. A familiar laugh made him whip his head around.

Anthony was standing in the aisle, clearly waiting for the snack car, chatting away with a blonde boy. Michael? Mitchell? Edward? Regulus wasn't too arsed to remember the boy's name. All he could think about was the fact that this no name, insignificant boy was making Anthony smile in a way that he couldn't stand. Regulus moved so quickly, there wasn't time to stop him. Even he wasn't fully aware of his actions. It was as though his body was six steps ahead of his mind.

Six steps. That is how many it took to put Regulus right beside Jackson or Justin or Joseph, whatever the boy's name was. Blonde hair was twisted around fingers so quickly that even the boy didn't realize he was being grabbed until his head hit the door frame behind him with a loud crack. Noise flooded the aisle. Anthony was talking to the boy, who had slid into the floor holding his head. Several girls were shrieking exaggeratedly. Will was saying something into Regulus' ear, but all he could hear was a high pitched ringing. He reached up and covered his ears, begging the sound to stop.

Will's arms closed around Regulus' chest and the older boy dragged him backwards towards their compartment. He pulled him inside and slid the door closed quickly, making sure to pull the shade down. Regulus moved away from Will and dropped onto his seat, his hands still firm over his ears. He pulled his knees to his chest and gasped for breath.

Will listened at the door a moment, confirming to himself that no one was planning to barge in to the compartment. He stood over Regulus and stared down at him with confusion. "What the fuck was that about?" he asked, grabbing Regulus' wrist and attempting to pull his hand away from his ear.

"Don't touch me!" Regulus screamed as he jerked his arm away and jumped from his seat. He backed away from Will as far as possible in the tiny car and clutched at his chest, his lungs screaming for air.

The door to the car slid open, banging loudly against the slot. Within seconds, Anthony was inside the car, his finger pressed hard into Regulus' chest, his eyes red and angry. "You. Are. Psychotic." Anthony's voice was pointed. "You could have seriously hurt him, but you don't give a shit. What do you care about hurting people? Soon enough, you'll be a lousy murderer just like your psychotic family wants! You are seriously unbalanced!"

Will reached out and grabbed Anthony by his arm, pulling him away from Regulus. "You keep your filthy hands off of him and get your ass out of here!" he yelled, shoving the boy towards the door. He pulled out his wand and pointed it into Anthony's face, daring him to defy.

Anthony shook his head at Will and cut his eyes back over at Regulus, who was watching him being threatened with a cold indifference. "Congratulations, Regulus _Black_, you have succeeded in destroying _any_ shred of hope that I had for you to save yourself." He spun around and was out of sight before either boy could respond to him.

* * *

"Get him out of that room!" Orion Black did not raise his voice often, but when he did, the sight was truly frightening. His grey eyes would narrow and the whites would flush with blood, giving him a fierce stare. His typically neat, dark hair would fly wildly around his strong set face and his hands would clench around things so tightly they would pale. At this moment, his hand was clutched around a fireplace poker that was being bashed against Kreacher's trembling body. "Beat him if you have to, just get that boy out of his damn room!"

Another blow to Kreacher's side sent the house-elf bustling up the stairs and into Regulus' bedroom. "M-m-master Regulus, your father says that you must come out of your room." The tiny elf stood before Regulus, his head bowed low. "He says that I must beat you if you don't comply. It has been two weeks since you arrived home. It is time to come out. I'm not allowed to bring you food any longer."

"Why should I come out?" Regulus' voice was no more than a whisper and it sounded distant, as though he was merely reading from a script.

"You're having a visitor today. Mistress Bella is coming to collect you," answered Kreacher. "You must come out. Your father says that today you will bring the honor back to this family that your brother stripped from it." The elf stepped closer to Regulus, his large eyes growing even wider. "Today…you will become one of _his_."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Alright, so...thoughts. Anyone? Next chapter picks up right where this one leaves off. Regulus is "off to see the Wizard" if I may make a WoO reference. It wouldn't be the first. Even the title of this story is a Sort of WoO reference. Anyways, the story...yes. Thoughts? :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	26. This Person has a Soul

**Chapter 26: This Person has a Soul**

**.**

Two weeks had passed to the day since Regulus Black arrived home from Hogwarts for the summer. He had gone into his room that evening and, save from dashing across the hall into the bathroom, hadn't left his room since. Kreacher, the loyal family house-elf, had kept him fed, forced him to his feet and pushed him towards the bathroom for showers, pleaded with him do as his mother wished and come from his room, but Regulus didn't. He went about his showers and eating as though it were merely something that 'must be done' and didn't give much thought to any of it. He wasn't even sure what day it was when Kreacher had come to him and said, "Today…you will become one of _his_."

Regulus did as he was told. He got on his feet, had a shower, even dressed in the fine dress robes that his mother had picked out for his _special day_. He was waiting by the fireplace when his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange rang the doorbell. She strolled into the room wearing a smile that stretched from ear to ear, her long black hair shimmering, even in the dim light of Grimmauld Place. She held out her hand and Regulus followed her in silence until they were far enough from the house to Disapparate.

"Have you ever Side-Along Apparated?" Bellatrix asked, her voice slicing through the warm morning air, breaking the stillness that hung around them.

Regulus nodded, his eyes fixed onto the ground. "I don't like it th-" His words were cut short by his cousin's thin fingers closing over his arm followed by the sensation of being squeezed into a pipe that was threateningly too small. Once the sensation passed, he covered his stomach with his arms and closed his eyes, trying to fight back the urge to become sick over Bellatrix's front steps.

Bellatrix merely smirked at her cousin and pushed into her home, leaving the door open for Regulus to follow. Regulus had been inside Lestrange Manor a good number of times since his cousin had wed Rodolphus, but the home never ceased to amaze him. Like his own home, the furniture was heavy and dark, framed with wrought iron and draped in blacks and emeralds, reminiscent of the deep ties to the Slytherin House. The lighting was always dim but the windows at Lestrange Manor were enchanted to cast a greenish glow over the interior, making Regulus' heart leap for the common room windows under the great lake. The heavy tiled floors caused their footsteps to echo as they walked from the entryway into a small sitting room.

Bellatrix held up her hand and motioned for Regulus to stop. She pointed to a small armchair in the corner of the sitting room and Regulus dropped into it, obediently. One thin finger rose on Bellatrix's hand, indicating that she wished him to wait there for her return, and she swept from the room with an excessive amount of flourish, or so Regulus thought. He sat nervously in the chair, twisting his hands over the edges of the seat, brushing his fingers down his hair to make sure it was proper, then doing it again, for clearly it had messed up in the twelve seconds time his hand wasn't in it.

Regulus was shaking his knees, perched at the edge of the seat when Bellatrix returned; a large eyed and shaking house-elf brandishing a tea service tray, close on her heels. The elf silently poured tea for Bellatrix and Regulus; he took his out of courtesy, but merely sat it to the side table without a sip taken. His heart was pounding dramatically by the time the elf made her leave and his voice was on the edge of screaming.

"What happens now?" The words were out of Regulus' mouth before he could think to restrain them. He frowned, not liking the fact that his body seemed to be working without his consent as of late.

"Now," Bellatrix cooed, taking a lingering sip of her tea for dramatic pause, "you prove yourself." She sat her cup down onto its saucer and gently laid the pair onto the table before her legs. She sat down gently on the couch just opposite Regulus and stared at him in an analyzing fashion. "Sixteen."

Regulus shifted in his seat, unsure of how to respond to such a bland statement. It wasn't a question, though its tone was slightly quizzical. He chose to stay silent, figuring that his cousin was most likely running through her own thoughts and did not expect a response. He was right, for she took another sip of her tea and continued.

"The Dark Lord was fifteen the first time that he raised his wand and took a human life. I say human, for the lives of many lesser were taken before that. You practiced, yes?" Bellatrix raised one eyebrow at Regulus, a trait that seemed to come with the blood of Black.

Regulus nodded and scooted forward in the chair. "Yes. I've been quite successful." Though he was attempting to boast, the back of his mind was reminding him that Bellatrix was most likely not making idle conversation. "Am I…going to kill…someone?" he asked, his voice more weak than he wanted.

"Of course." Bellatrix smiled the kind of smile you would see on someone who had just been told their birthday and Christmas was coming together on that very day. She tilted her head a bit, her hair falling across her back in a large wave. "You don't get your Mark for free, a price must be paid. A price that's paid in blood."

"I understand." What more could he say. It wasn't as though he could argue. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to argue. What was one life to him? As a full Death Eater, as several people had made a point to bring to light lately, he would be killing more than one simple person.

"Do you know what a secret is, Regulus?" Bellatrix's question was rhetorical, it was obvious by her tone, therefore it went unanswered. "The Dark Lord does not…tolerate secrets. Do you understand that?" She was answered with a simple nod. "Good. So, then _you _don't have any secrets, am I correct?"

An audible swallow came out of Regulus as a painful lump slid down his throat. "I'm sixteen, what kind of secrets could I possibly have?" Surely his cousin was not thick enough to fall for the old _deflect a question with a question_ routine, but that wouldn't stop him from trying. For a moment, his heart stopped, the woman's eyes reflected no sign of anger; perhaps she was thicker than he imagined.

"Do you know what sacrifice is, Regulus?" More rhetoric. Again, Bellatrix went unanswered. "The Dark Lord requires sacrifice. The sacrifice of your time, your own personal agendas, your family, friends. Even if your very life will be forfeit should he desire it. Earning your Mark isn't as simple as pointing your wand and saying some vows. It is a test. You will not belong to you anymore. Your body, your mind, your heart and your very soul will belong to him when…_if_ you pass his test."

"I understand." Regulus said the words, but the look, nay the gleam inside of Bellatrix's eyes tugged at his stomach, making him think that perhaps he didn't fully understand what she was saying. "When do I start?"

Another smile crossed Bellatrix's face, this one sending a shiver down Regulus' spine and making his toes curl inside of his highly polished shoes. "You start now. First, you have to raise your wand and _prove _that you are capable of taking a life. _Any_ life." She stood from her seat and, without another word, made her way deeper into the house, her hips swaying gracefully with each step.

Regulus didn't need to be told to know he was to follow. In silence the two walked until they came to the basement of Lestrange Manor. There was a thick door and Regulus could feel heavy protection spells coating what seemed to be a cell of sorts. The magic was so strong that it vibrated his teeth and clenched his stomach, though perhaps that was from not eating for the last eighteen hours or so.

"Are you ready?" Bellatrix leaned against the wall beside the heavy door, the look on her face so careless you would think she was simply discussing a trip to the market.

Regulus nodded, afraid that any attempt to speak would betray his outward bravery.

"Are you sure? There isn't a cat behind that door. There is a person. A human. A living, breathing person. This person has a family, a heart, goals and dreams. This person has a soul. This person was born to a mother, looked over by a father. This person's feet have walked the halls of Hogwarts, touched the streets of London, stood outside the window of the wand shop, dreaming about what wand they would leave with." If one did not _know _Bellatrix Lestrange, they might get the odd impression that she was attempting to talk Regulus out of his plan. She was not, and Regulus knew this. It was merely a test, her way of making sure that he was not in over his head. "Can you walk into that room, point your wand and take the life of a person?"

Regulus nodded. That seemed to be his limit of useful communication for the day. He took a long and slow breath, holding it inside his lungs until they screamed for its release. He bit down hard on his bottom lip, drawing a tiny bead of blood to the surface, which he quickly licked away.

"No matter who it is?"

The question sent a cold sensation down Regulus' body, feeling almost as though someone had cast a disillusionment charm on him. He nodded again, of course, though his mind was racing. The words she had said: they were eerie, pointed and heavy with knowledge he didn't have. Was he going to find his mother behind that door, as Bellatrix had suggested to him over Christmas break, perhaps his father, his…_brother_. Three beats, maybe four, that his heart skipped. It was his brother, his mind was beyond sure of it. What member of his family wouldn't like to see his brother lying cold…dead on the stone basement floor of Lestrange Manor?

Bellatrix waved her wand over the door and a small click could be heard before it fell open just enough to cast a sliver of light into the darkened room. Regulus could barely make out a shadow, huddled into the corner of the tiny stone cell that smelled of mildew and piss. _Sirius_. His mind was dead set on the fact that the shivering, whimpering figure that was cowering into the corner was Sirius. His family wanted him dead; they had all laughed and toasted their glasses at the sight of his scorched place on the Tapestry. Everyone was going to get their wish of ridding their family tree for good of the _blood traitor,_ Sirius, and they were going to make Regulus do it.

One step into the room, his hands were shaking. Could he kill his brother? A second step towards the figure, his wand was drawn. Could he kill the boy that pushed him on the Muggle swings for years because his feet couldn't reach the ground? Step three, his knees were weak, he could barely walk. Could he kill someone who would let him sleep in their room, on their bed, after he would wake up crying from nightmares? Another step, he had lost count already. Could he kill the only person that he ever felt he could count on?

"What kind of secrets can a boy of sixteen possibly have?" Bellatrix asked, placing her hand on Regulus' lower back and scooting him further towards the corner.

Regulus didn't understand why she had chosen to repeat such a seemingly random line from their conversation. Didn't understand until…. He was standing before a trembling figure, staring down into the deep blue eyes of Anthony Bonham.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Yes, I can feel those glares through the computer screen. Honestly, I'm sure that some of you saw it coming. Is it real? Is it a dream? No, it is NOT a dream. YES, that is really Anthony. NO, I won't tell you if Regulus goes through with what I'm sure you know Bellatrix is going to tell him to do. You'll have to see in the next chapter. It picks up exactly where this one left off. Even if your opinion is that I'm a total evil monkey, I'd like to hear it. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	27. Avada Kedavra

**Chapter 27: Avada Kedavra**

**.**

Regulus knew of Time Turners and their ability to take you into the past, so time travel was something he was sure existed. At this moment, he was questioning whether it were possible to cease time entirely. If it were possible to live in one fleeting moment for an eternity, Regulus was sure that he was doing it. How long had he been standing there, staring down into Anthony's eyes. One, maybe two days now, surely. His heart seemed to have stopped beating all together, making him wonder how he was even managing to stand. The sweat on his forehead seemed freeze in time, clinging to his forehead in one place with no real reason to have stopped. His left hand was closed so tightly around his wand, he had long since lost feeling in it.

The other hand twisted into the pocket of his robes, which were suddenly the most uncomfortable thing he could imagine being in. The thick, heavy, elegant material was clinging to his body and causing him to sweat profusely, though it could have been the sticky heat from the tiny stone room, devoid of any ventilation or windows. Regulus gasped at the air, instantly regretting it as the thick and potent heat crept into his lungs making him cough and sputter into his hand. At least time was flowing once more, that was certain. Still coughing, the boy turned away from Anthony and doubled over slightly, staring hard at the filthy stone floor under him.

"You think that you can keep secrets from the Dark Lord, you foolish boy?" Bellatrix's shrill voice cut through the dead room, causing Regulus stomach to turn violently and make him heave, dryly. "You couldn't even keep this a secret from that daft librarian at the school," Bellatrix continued, her voice full of an eerie laughter.

Regulus shook his head slowly, his eyes still fixed on the floor. He felt long, thin fingers thread into his hair and jerk his head backwards, dragging him across the floor with surprising ease. Though his eyes were now closed, the boy knew that he had been slammed against the stone wall, his cousin's sharp fingertips bore into his chest to keep him there. More heaving, at this point he was immensely grateful for the cease food order that his parents had passed down to Kreacher. His mouth opened several times, but closed again in ignorance. What did he expect to say? His mind raced. Deny. Lie. Fight. Run. None of these plausible options.

When Regulus finally pried his eyes open, his gaze fell upon Bellatrix's irate face. Her features were twisted into an expression that seemed to be a combination of seething anger and overwhelming disgust. Her smooth lips curled up into a sneer and her teeth were visibly clenched together. "Isn't it bad enough," she hissed, her words coming out low and snakelike, "that he is a..._he_? But the fact that he's a mudblood..." Her words trailed off and her entire body shuddered violently as she stepped away from Regulus and pulled out her wand, pointing it towards Anthony

Regulus' hand flinched towards his older cousin. The movement was so minor and so quickly restrained that almost managed to keep her from seeing it. His eyes locked onto Bellatrix's, fear coursing through his body. "I-I...I wasn't...I..." He shook his head and stared at the floor once more. Leaning back against the wall to support his weight, for his knees were starting to tremble in a way that made him think he wasn't going to stay upright long.

"_Crucio_."

Regulus' eyes closed and he tensed at the sound of Bellatrix's voice, his entire body stiffening and preparing for the pain that he was sure would come. Nothing. No pain. He slowly opened one eye to figure out why he wasn't writhing on the floor. Bellatrix was standing above Anthony, her wand pointed downwards, a giddy and childlike smile on her face. At her feet, Anthony's body was twitching and jumping erratically, his hands were closed into fists and his mouth was closed tightly in what seemed to be an effort not to scream.

With Regulus not standing before him, the light from the doorway was pouring down over Anthony, making the boy easier to see. His hair was matted and sticking in odd angles, soaked through with sweat and speckled with dirt. His entire body was covered in a thin layer of grime, making Regulus shudder with realization that the typically pristine boy had been in this cell of a room for a while. His clothes were torn, but they were still easily recognizable.

"The train," Regulus whispered, his voice breaking as he spoke.

Anthony's body relaxed against the floor and Regulus looked up at his cousin to find her staring at him with a smirk on her face. Bellatrix nodded, her eyes shinning with pleasure. "The train? Yes, we took him straight from the Platform." She waved her hand carelessly and sighed, taking the tip of her wand between her thumb and forefinger on the hand not clutched around the handle of it. "The little pile of filth didn't even get to see mummy and daddy before he came here," she said, her tone mockingly reminiscent of the way one would speak to an infant. A high pitched cackle came from the woman and she twirled her wand around in the air. "Not that he could have! We killed them months ago," she cried out, laughing again.

Regulus swallowed hard and let his eyes move over Anthony. The boy had returned to a sitting position and was staring up at him, his face betraying no sign that he had just endured the cruciatus curse. "What are you waiting for?" Anthony whispered, narrowing his eyes at Regulus. "Aren't you going to get your nice pretty Dark Mark?"

"You shut your vile mouth!" Bellatrix screamed, launching her foot into Anthony's side and knocking him over to the floor. "Don't you dare to speak in my home. You wretched waste of space." The woman was near growling at Anthony as she stared at him with her teeth bared in aggression. "Do it!" she screamed, turning her face towards Regulus. She crossed the small distance between them and closed her fingers around Regulus' upper arm, then thrust him harshly towards Anthony.

Regulus had to swing his arms out and skid his feet on the stone to keep from toppling over the filthy mess that was now Anthony. He let out a shaky breath and struggled to replace it in his lungs, causing a series of loud whines to shoot through the silence and echo off of the walls. "Do what?" he whispered, his entire body breaking out into trembles at his own words.

"You know what," Bellatrix hissed, her face leaning close to Regulus'. She hovered her lips just above Regulus' ear and repeated, "You know what." Here eyes flicked towards Anthony, then back to her cousin. "Do it, Regulus. Kill him. Kill the disgusting, foul, wretched abomination to our way of life."

"You forgot vile," Anthony called out, lifting himself onto his hands and knees and looking up at Bellatrix, an odd and misplaced smile across his lips. "You forgot vile," he said again, spitting onto the ground and laughing in a way that made the hair on Regulus' arms raise. "Go on, Regulus, this is what you wanted," he said, falling back to sit on his feet and leaning over, holding himself up with one hand. "I always knew that you were going to trade me in to be a..._Death Eater_, but I never realized how right I was." He put his hand to his mouth and let out a gurgling cough into it.

The last thing that Regulus expected to feel at this moment was anger, but a wave of fury built inside of his small body and escaped from his lips. "No more than you deserve!" he screamed, his body shaking as he reached down and shoved Anthony backwards against the floor. "You lying, backstabbing, son of a bitch! You can't stop being a cocky know-it-all even in the face of your own death!" He let out a growl and turned his back to Anthony, then slammed his empty fist against the wall behind him.

Bellatrix latched her hand onto Regulus' left wrist, her long nails digging into it just enough to pierce the skin without drawing blood. "Do it. Take his life." She lifted the boy's arm and pulled him back around to face Anthony, then supported his arm as his wand pointed at the boy, who was once again on his knees. "Do. It."

"You're better than this," Anthony whispered. "You are, Regulus. I knew it the day I met you. From moment one I could tell that you weren't a bad guy, just...mislead. I know that you are better than this. Regulus, you aren't a killer. You aren't a murderer. This isn't you."

"Do it!"

"Regulus, you aren't this guy."

"Do it now!"

"You don't have to. She'll kill me anyways, but you can still walk away. You can st-" The rest of Anthony's sentence was cut off as a deep gash spread across his chest, causing his shirt to fall open and red to seep over it. His hand reached up and touched his skin just above the cut, his fingers lightly brushing over it. "Not deep enough," he whispered, falling back to sit on the ground. "Regulus, just leave while you can."

"Shut up!" Bellatrix screamed, her wand still pointed at Anthony from her non-verbal assault. "You keep that filthy mouth of yours closed. The only sound I want to hear from you is the screaming I've come to love these last two weeks. "_Crucio_!"

Anthony's body flinched and flung back against the floor, his back arching upwards and his toes digging roughly at the stone under him. His fingers raked over the floor, soon becoming red and rubbed to the point of bleeding as the Cruciatus curse continued to ravish his body. He didn't scream. His lips stayed tight together and his face screwed up in the fight to keep from making any sort of sound.

Bellatrix cackled madly as she released the curse and stared down at Anthony with wide eyes. "You're playing tough today, little vermin," she sang, shifting her weight to one side and jutting out her hip. Her eyes narrowed and her smile faded into a sneer. "I can play tough too. Now scream!" She pointed her wand at the boy once more and shouted, "_Crucio_!"

Once again, Anthony's body went into spasms, and once again, he made no sound. Bellatrix leaned towards the boy, her face growing more and more intense with the focus and power she was putting behind the curse. Regulus stood with his back against the wall, his eyes locked in horror on the sight in front of him. Bellatrix let out an exhausted shriek and threw her hands up, turning her back to Anthony. Regulus released the breath he didn't know he had been holding and bit down hard on his bottom lip, having to spit onto the floor as a rush of blood shot into his mouth.

"I love you." The whisper had been so quiet that Regulus almost couldn't understand Anthony's words. "I never meant to hurt you, Regulus. I swear I didn't. I really do love you," Anthony said as tears broke from his eyes and spilled onto the floor.

"You disgusting, son of a bitch," Bellatrix shrieked, rounding back on the broken boy. "_Crucio_!" She watched the boy squirm beneath her a moment, then pulled back the curse. "How dare you taint my family with your mudblood spew? I should slice you into tiny pieces! _Crucio_!"

Regulus gasped for breath as he watched the continuing torture in front of him. Silently he begged for Anthony to scream and give Bellatrix what she wanted so that she would stop, but he knew that the boy wouldn't give in willingly. He twisted his right hand inside of his pocket and secured his left around his wand. The ten and a half inches of mahogany with its dragon heartstring core had never felt so heavy to him as it did now.

"_Crucio_!" Bellatrix shouted again, her eyes wild with hate, her hair flying around her face.

Anthony fought. He was silent.

"_Crucio_!"

More silence. Regulus was staring to feel as though he was going to scream for the boy. His hand raised, his wand pointed. He took a long and deep breath.

"_Cru_-"

"_Avada Kedavra_!"

* * *

**A Note From the Author: I really don't know what to say for an AN here. Um...sorry? -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	28. Confessions, Curses & You Know Who

**Chapter 28: Confessions, Curses & You Know Who**

**.**

Regulus lay sprawled out on his bed, his night clothes hanging loose on his body, his eyes open and fixed hard at his left forearm. It had been three days since Anthony laid over dead at his feet. He wouldn't have believed it to be such a short time if he wasn't confident in the accuracy of his calendar and in the word of his house-elf. Three days that had felt like three years. He had become dizzy and fell unconscious only seconds after Anthony's death, coming to after only, what he was told was, twenty minutes, laying on a cold and filthy stone floor. He wasn't sure where he had been, but he assumed that it was still Lestrange Manor. The smell of the room, or cell to be precise, was eerily similar to the one that Anthony had been in, the stone bore the same texture and coloring, the dirt which clung to the floor even had the same feel between his fingers.

Three days he was starved to the point of sickness, only being tossed a small scrap of bread when his body was too weak to hold itself upright. The few times he was allowed a drink, he regretted asking, for he was offered the cheapest of brandy that coated his tongue with a foul tasting film and left him thirstier than he had been before. Three days he was beaten, by both physical means and spells. Tips of boots, fists, _Cruciatus_ curses, stinging hexes, knives, fingernails, all accompanied by the all-too-familiar laugh of his cousin, as well as laughter from voices he didn't recognize. He twisted and writhed on the ground, sometimes being lifted to his feet and forced to stand erect as he was further punished. The physical pain had only been the start of it, a warm up so to say. Once his body lay crumpled on the ground, bones broken, bruises gracing the majority of his skin, his blood more outside than in, that was when the real trial began.

Questions. So many questions. They were shouted, hissed, whispered. He was drilled on everything from his favorite song when he was three years old to whether he would jump in front of a curse to protect the Dark Lord. His mind spun and the questions came so fast, he wasn't even sure if he was being coherent when answering. At one point, he was fairly sure that he told a male voice his favorite vegetable was the number twenty three-and he had never seen a white cat. Even more confusing was the fact that none of them seemed to actually care what he was answering or if he even was.

On the third day, so he was told, the questions stopped, the beatings stopped, the spinning stopped. He was lifted and carried into a smaller, yet more lavish, room. The tiny space was decked to the hilt in emerald green. The walls hung with deep curtains and the floor were scattered with an array of rugs, all boasting the colors of the Slytherin House. Even the tiny soaps resting on the edge of the tub, he noted, were in emerald and silver. He was bathed, his head roughly scrubbed at by bony fingers with too long fingernails, though he didn't care. The hot water felt so good on his sore muscles, he wasn't even bothered to see who made an effort of cleaning his hair three times. He was healed as much as possible, the more minor of his cuts and scrapes vanishing, while the deeper of them being bandaged. Cream was applied to his bruises. The old woman who applied the malodorous paste was muttering something to him the entire time, though Regulus didn't hear a word of it.

Food was brought in and placed at his lap. After three attempts at swallowing back what he was assuming had to have been chicken, he resigned to going hungry and pushed the small tray away. After half an hour of retching in the open bathroom, unsure from what as he hadn't managed to get down a single bite, he was led across the room to a small, overstuffed four poster bed, also draped in the colors of emerald and silver. He wasn't sure how long he slept, though he fell into it the moment his head hit the pillow, before the creaking of the door roused him. The door opened and in stepped a man he thought he would never actually be granted permission to see. He remembered standing up and falling at the man's feet, but things got blurry once again after that. In the period of four hours, so he was told, he had screamed, cried and even held his wand to his own temple in a threat to finish the job himself.

Regulus had begged for his life, begged for his death, begged for the pain to end. The Dark Lord had pulled from him words that he never thought he would utter. He confessed to the man that he believed Narcissa had gotten a better looking husband than Bellatrix, though he couldn't fathom why he was asked such a thing. He confessed to having stolen money from his father's drawer and blaming his cousin Andromeda when he was six. He confessed to having had sex with Anthony, even after knowing of his blood. He confessed to liking it. He confessed to wishing that it were possible to do again. He confessed to doubting his best friend was cut out for being a Death Eater. He confessed to missing his brother. He confessed to having wet his bed on three occasions after Sirius had gone off to school and sleeping in the boy's bed when the nightmares became too much to handle. He honestly couldn't remember everything he had confessed to. He wasn't sure if all of his confessions were even true, for he did recall admitting that he set fire to a house in West Aberdeen, and he knew for a fact that school was the only time he had set foot in Scotland.

In the end, the Dark Lord must not have sensed him as anything other than loyal and worthy, for he was now staring down at a light grey Dark Mark on his left forearm, though it was a bit difficult to see through the massive bruising that still covered his body. He bought his right hand up and grazed his fingertips over the surface of the mark, tracing the outline of the skull carefully and slowly. The sound of his bedroom doorknob being turned made the boy flinch painfully and roll onto his side, then squeeze his eyes closed to make it appear as though he were sleeping.

The sound of tiny footsteps made it clear to Regulus that Kreacher was the one who had come into his room. He could hear the elf move towards his bed, slowly, then the sound of something sliding over his night stand. The smell hit him before the elf spoke and Regulus knew that he had been brought dinner. "Master Regulus, Kreacher brought you some soup. You're pretending to sleep, so Kreacher will tell Mistress that you are asleep." With that, the door closed again and Regulus sat up in bed.

He glanced over at his night stand, which now held a tray containing a large bowl of what appeared to be vegetable soup, a slice of bread and a small glass of orange juice. Regulus pulled the tray into his lap, instantly regretting this decision and sliding it back onto his night stand. He rubbed his hands over his legs where he had tried to support the tray and peeked under his pajama pants to examine the yellowing bruises on them. With a frown, the boy consented to lean over his meal and attempt it. It didn't matter, for two bites in, he felt so sick to his stomach he pushed the food away and curled back against his mattress.

* * *

"Master Regulus, shall I pack your book?"

Regulus was just stepping into his bedroom when he heard Kreacher's voice. The elf was leaned over Regulus' school trunk, neatly placing the boy's folded school robes and school supplies into the box. Regulus peeked into the trunk and frowned, seeing as all of his school books were already stacked nicely to one side.

"What are you on about? My books are already in there," Regulus growled, pointing towards the stack with an isn't-it-obvious scowl on his face. He shrugged back his shoulders to strip himself of his heavy traveling cloak and draped the elegant material over the foot of his bed.

"Kreacher means your..._other_ book. The one in..." the elf trailed off, finishing his sentence by merely pointing his long and mangled forefinger in the direction of Regulus' tallboy.

Regulus' eyes widened and he tore across the room to reach the chest, then ripped the bottom drawer open so roughly, it came clear out of its hold and dropped to the floor. With a wild flourish, he bent over and dug through the old winter sweaters that lay in the drawer, breathing a sigh of relief as his eyes fell over the copy of _Macbeth_ that lay at the bottom of the drawer. "How did you know this was here?" he yelled towards Kreacher as he pulled the book into his arms and hugged it to his chest.

"Kreacher sees Master Regulus reading it at night. Kreacher has done something wrong? What punishment shall I inflict upon myself, Master Regulus?" the elf asked, his eyes wide and watery as he stared up at Regulus.

"You haven't done wrong, just...just something I didn't like. Your punishment is...to forget. You'll forget that this book exists," Regulus ordered, holding up the book to illustrate his words. "You'll forget that you've even seen me read it, you'll forget that you've ever seen it at all. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Master Regulus. Immediately." Kreacher gave a low bow and returned to stashing Regulus' things into his trunk, his face showing no signs of the conversation that had just taken place.

Regulus bumped the side of his foot into the house-elf and knocked him towards the door. "You can do that later. I want to be alone. Bella is still downstairs and she's ranting about tea. You'll do well to go take care of that." He waited for Kreacher to hurry out of the room before slamming the door behind him and taking a long gasping breath of relief. The book clutched in his arms suddenly felt as though it weighed more than he did, and he let it hang heavy to his side, his fingers digging into the cover. "What's done cannot be undone," he whispered to the book.

Regulus carried it to his trunk, where he made sure to shove it to the very bottom and slip it into the folds of what felt to be a set of work robes. One hand came up and dragged roughly through Regulus' growing black locks, latching onto them tightly and pulling. The boy let out an angry growl and shook his head, ripping so hard at his hair that he was sure it would come off into his hand at any second. "What's done cannot be undone!" he shouted as he stood up and threw his foot harshly into the trunk, making it budge across the floor slightly and Regulus howl in pain from the idiotic act.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thoughts? :D -Jenna**

**"What's done cannot be undone." Lady Macbeth – Act 5, Scene 1**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	29. Returning to Normal

**Chapter 29: Returning to Normal**

**.**

Regulus' light grey eyes stayed fixed on the ground before him as he walked slowly across the platform towards the Hogwarts Express. To one side of him, walked his cousin, Bellatrix, her nose held high in the air, her lips pursed in annoyance at the overcrowding of students and parents on the platform. Just behind Bellatrix, walked a tall man, thin to the point he almost looked sick, with wild, bushy dark brown hair piled atop his head. His face was contorted in disgust as he kept his wand pointed towards Regulus' levitating trunk. Bellatrix gasped sharply as a student rushed by so close to her, it ruffled the front of her robes. Fear splattered across the face of a woman, who looked to be the child's mother, as she locked her eyes onto Bellatrix.

"I can go alone from here," Regulus said sharply, desperate to draw his cousin's attention. "Put it down," he spat, turning his eyes onto the man behind him and sneering. "Gently," he added, his eyes becoming slits as the man lowered his trunk to the ground.

"Awfully bossy for a little brat not even out of diapers, aren't you?" the man sneered back at Regulus. "I can't wait to get you back in practice and t-"

"Get your ass beat again?" Regulus finished, his voice full of a sick laughter.

"Why you little twerp," the man growled, raising his hand in threat.

Bellatrix's thin fingers closed around the man's arm, her nails digging into his skin and instantly marking him with traces of red. "Travers, if you lay a hand on that boy I will personally cut you open and leave you to die on this platform," she said, her voice smooth and delicate, her face still etched with a slight grin. "Go. Your use is over." She shoved the man away from her with a flourish and turned her eyes back to Regulus. Once Travers was out of sight, Bellatrix rolled her eyes at her cousin and shook her head. "I won't always be around to protect you."

"I don't need protection from that dolt. He's pathetic." Regulus was still staring in the direction that the man had disappeared, his mouth curled in sheer disgust.

"He's loyal," Bellatrix snapped.

"Doesn't make him any less disgusting," Regulus argued, finally turning his eyes back towards his cousin. "I don't like the way he stares at you. Like some kind of...lion, just waiting for the deer to dip its head so that it can snap. He's filthy."

Bellatrix let out such a high pitched laugh, the platform seemed to freeze in time for a moment. "You think that _I_ am a deer and _he_ is a lion?" she asked, her eyes glinting with tears of laughter.

"I didn't say that was what you were, just the way he stares at you," Regulus muttered as he snapped up his trunk by the end and started towards the attendant. He passed his trunk off to the man loading them into the train, then spun around to face Bellatrix. One hand brushed back through his hair and he gave a small wave before climbing aboard the train.

Regulus was nearly gasping for breath by the time he slipped into an empty compartment. The aisle had been ridiculously crowded and this year's batch of first years seem to take 'invasion of personal space' to a new level. Sweat was beaded around the crown of Regulus' head as he settled into a seat and kicked his legs up into the space beside him. One hand jumped to the sleeve hem of his long-sleeved black shirt, fully intending on pushing the sleeves up to cool himself, but it was slowly drawn back as remembrance set in.

Summer had been a time he could wear his mark freely. His parents and the rest of his extended family were over joyed that he had been marked, and even more so that he had received such an honor at his young age. He knew that time had passed. He had been thoroughly warned about showing his mark at school. While everyone agreed that Regulus should be proud to bear the Dark Lord's symbol, they also agreed that he should do so in secret, at least until the 'opportune time' as the Dark Lord had said. So, Regulus sat with his sleeves down, bearing the heat.

"My, my, if it isn't Regulus Black." A cool, female voice filled the compartment, followed by a tiny, giggle. "You look good this year, I must say. Not that you didn't before, but I like what you're doing with your hair."

Regulus' eyes traveled up the thin, delicate body of Sarah Bulstrode, who seemed to have grown a foot just over the break. Her long, golden blonde hair was now overlaid with hints of light red and lay in soft waves splayed over her shoulders. Her soft brown eyes were so transfixed on Regulus it sent a shiver down his spine. Without waiting for invitation, she stepped into the compartment and closed the door behind her. Her eyes darted to the seat where Regulus' feet were perched and she let out a small sigh as she took the seat opposite him.

"You aren't saying anything. I told you that you look good, you're supposed to say it back," Sarah said as she crossed her legs and flashed a flirty smile.

"Say it back?" Regulus parroted. "Oh, um, yeah...you look good. Hair and...um, nice to see you again," he said, blinking stupidly in shock at the fact that his vocabulary had sudden dwindled to that of a six year old's. "How was your break?" he asked, sitting up and dropping his feet into the floor.

Sarah beamed over at Regulus and tilted her head, letting her hair dance across her shoulders. "It was fantastic, actually. My dad and I went to South America, spent two months there, the beaches were amazing." She licked over her lips and twirled one strand of hair around the end of her fingers. "I heard that you had quite a nice break yourself," she said, leaning back against the seat.

Regulus nodded and swallowed hard, his heart racing with nerves. The word '_crazy_' raced through his mind a few dozen times and he shifted on his seat, his eyes darting between the door and Sarah. "What, um...what do you mean by that?" he asked, feeling more and more like a caged animal every moment that he sat in the compartment.

Sarah let out a small giggle and shifted in place. "I heard from my Uncle that you and your cousin went to Italy for a week. Is that not true?"

"Oh, yeah, Italy. Bella took me for a few days, it was really..."

"Fun? Hot? Educational?"

"Yes." Regulus stood up quickly and pulled open the door, feeling almost instant relief at the opening up of space. He stood in the doorway for a moment, watching as other students filed into free spaces and chatted eagerly with each other. "Don't you want to sit with your friends or something?" he asked back over his shoulder.

"I do, but they aren't here," Sarah answered, honestly. "Geoffrey is out of school now, you know Geoffrey right? He hung out with Anthony a lot, then Anthony doesn't seem to be here yet, I've already looked. Della is off trying to...well oddly enough she's hitting on your brother," she said with a laugh.

Regulus had felt his stomach twist at the mention of Anthony's name, but his face stayed steady as he stared out into the aisle. "So you thought you'd come have a chat with me?" he asked, coolly.

"I thought maybe you'd like have to chat, after all, you've had plenty of time to get over that...Rosier freak, total loony bin." Sarah stood up from her seat and brushed her hand over Regulus' arm, making him flinch and jump into the aisle. "Twitchy aren't you?" Sarah laughed and tucked her hair behind her ears before grabbing firm onto the boy and jerking him back into the compartment.

"I'm not twitchy, I just like people grabbing onto me and shit, back off a little," Regulus snapped, having reached the end of his tolerance for Sarah's over flirtatious behavior. "What is wrong with you?" he growled. "Just...just leave me alone!" His hands closed firmly onto Sarah's shoulders and shoved her roughly out of the door to the compartment.

"What a surprise," came Elizabeth's voice from a ways down the aisle. "Regulus is shoving people around like they don't matter. Can't you just read the shock in my eyes?" she asked, her voice dry and pompous. "Oh, it's _you_," she added in a sneer as her eyes fell over Sarah. "Regulus, don't you have a House Elf to throw out the rubbish."

"Shut your stupid mouth, you bitch," Sarah hissed at Elizabeth, her eyes narrowing threateningly.

"Both of you shut your mouths," Regulus growled as he slammed the door closed and threw himself back into the seat. After a moment, the door started to open again and he whipped his head up, snarling. "What the fu- Oh. Hey," he said, feeling a bit put off at seeing Topher rather than Sarah.

Topher stood over Regulus and slid the door back closed behind him. He brushed his fingers back through his hair and shifted awkwardly on the spot. "Can we...um...look, so I just...we should maybe talk, or something. Maybe. I get it, you're probably really pissed off at me still and I don't blame you but you should at least...I don't know. You lied to me too!" he finished in a yell. "I tried and tried and tried to get you to talk to me about what was going on and you ju-"

"Shut up!" Regulus leapt out of his seat and glared up at Topher. "Look, you don't say a fucking word about any of that. Ever again. You don't mention it, I won't mention it and things will go just fine." He held his ground, his face set in pure rage, despite Topher being so much taller and stronger than him. His left hand twitched with anticipation towards his wand, but he fought back the urge to draw on the boy.

"Regulus, you really are..." Topher trailed off with a heavy sigh and shook his head down a the other boy. "I miss you," he said, his voice quivering slightly. "You were, no, you _are_ my best friend and I don't give a shit that we had a huge fight or whatever you wanna call it, I still think of you as my best friend. I think maybe we should just...I don't know." He flung his arms up in exasperation and left Regulus to himself in the compartment.

Regulus fell back into his seat, not bothering to close the door back. He put his feet back up in the seat and tipped his head back against the wall, letting his eyes close. After a while, the train jerked and soon after, the country side was rushing past in the window, though Regulus didn't have half a mind to bother looking. The steady movement of the train was soothing the boy to the point of sleeping, he didn't even hear the compartment door close. Just as he was nodding off, he felt a set of hands close hard on his shoulder, then felt his body hit the floor with such force, he cried out in pain.

Sirius dropped onto his knees next to his brother and seized the boy's left arm. He wrenched back the sleeve and let out a sharp cry as his eyes took in the Dark Mark etched on his brother's skin. "No, no, no, no, no! It isn't real. Regulus, you didn't!" His fingers rubbed roughly over the boy's arm, desperately trying to wipe away the grey. "I can't believe you did this, I _don't_ believe it!" He let out a ragged breath and threw himself back against the seat, then pulled his hands roughly through his long hair.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Regulus cried out as he pulled his sleeve back down and got to his feet. "You're bloody psychotic! You don't just start attacking people, Sirius." He struggled to straighten out his shirt, his breathing so erratic at this point it was making him dizzy.

"I'm psychotic? I'm psychotic?" Sirius repeated as he got to his feet and stared his brother down. Though the boy was only a few inches taller than the other, Regulus still had to look up to meet his brother's fierce, grey eyes. "You let that..._man_ mark you, brand you a murderer and you're calling _me_ psychotic? I can't believe you would do this! How could you do something so stupid?" he screamed, his hair flying wildly around his flushed face, causing him to bear a striking resemblance to their father.

"I did what I had to do! I did what was right!" Regulus yelled back. "I am not stupid. I am chosen," he sneered. "You are just a pathetic little -"

"Chosen? Chosen for what? Biggest fucking idiot in the Black family!" Sirius grabbed his brother by the boy's arm and shook him to the point of a splitting headache. "You didn't have to do it. You didn't have to do it!"

"Yes I did!" Regulus yelled as he pushed his brother across the compartment. "You don't know a damn thing about anything, Sirius! You don't know anything at all!"

"I know you're an idiot!" Sirius screamed as he stormed towards the compartment door. "When I saw our _dear_ _cousin_ on the platform, she told me that you were finally living up to the Black family name. I thought she was just putting me on. Regulus...I really thought you were better than this," he whispered as he moved back into the aisle and closed the door behind him.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Alrighty...Regulus is off to school again and things are bad before the train gets there. How do you think that his bearing the Dark Mark is going to affect his next term at Hogwarts? Do you think that he and Topher can get past the whole betrayal and spider issue? What do you think of Sarah? If you don't remember her (cuz it has been a while) she is the same Sarah from Chapter 10 and the one that Elizabeth beat up in Hogsmeade. Do you think people are going to start talking about Anthony not coming back to school and what was Regulus doing in Italy? So many questions this time. Answer one, answer all, answer none, whatever you want. Leave me some thoughts. **

**Also, just want to thank all of the Non-Reviewing readers for reading. I hope that you are enjoying it. Last of all, I don't know if I mentioned this yet, but there WILL be more slash. His liking of boys certainly didn't die with Anthony. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	30. Letters to Bella – I

**Chapter 30: Letters to Bella – I**

**.**

_**Sept 12, 1977 - Dear Bella,  
**__I wasn't expecting to get a letter from you, to be honest. I find it odd that suddenly you're interested in the trivial matters of my classes and free time. Though, I suppose I can understand why. Classes are as normal. I don't have to take Astronomy anymore or that rubbish of Divination, since I didn't do so well on my O.W.L.s. I shouldn't have been allowed, but Slughorn brought me into the Potions N.E.W.T. class. I would say an advantage to being in the "Slug Club" except I don't like Potions. Before you start, yes, I know that I have to practice it regardless. So there you are, classes are going just fine. As for my free time, well there isn't much of it. I've been studying and doing homework with most of my time, then just reading with the rest. Topher hasn't spoken a word to me since we got back to school and Elizabeth looks bloody terrified to be in the same room with me. No more than I care, stupid bint. So if that's all, I'll send this off and see you at Christmas. **- R.A.B**._

* * *

Regulus folded up his letter to Bellatrix and tucked it into the pocket of his slacks, then tugged his un-tucked, uniform regulated, white dress shirt down over his hips. He brushed his hand back over the side of his black hair and gave himself a passing glance in the mirror. He was in the middle of fixing his emerald and silver stripped tie to sit properly when the door to the dormitory opened and Topher stepped into the room, his eyes locked on the floor.

"I see you're up," Topher muttered at the ground as he headed over to his bag, which he had clearly not taken down to breakfast.

"Oh, you're talking to me again?" Regulus sneered as he stuffed his arms into his robes and swept his school bag up onto his shoulder.

Topher tugged his hands back roughly through his now-shaggy, dark brown hair and shook his head at Regulus. "I just want things to go back to normal," he said, staring down at his friend with wide eyes. "Is it too much to ask that _you_ just go back to how you were before? You know...if you wanted to go back to Anth-"

"Don't you say that name to me," Regulus growled. "What kind of blood traitor filth is Rosier shoving into your head to make you say that?"

"Do you hear yourself?" Topher yelled. He stormed across the room and slammed the door closed to ensure their privacy, then rounded back on Regulus. "You hardly ever call people by their last names and now you're calling Elizabeth, your ex-girlfriend, by her last name. You sound like Will doing that shit. And-and blood traitor filth?" He raised his hands and flung them around in exasperation at the words that Regulus had spoken. "You were dating the guy and I'm the blood traitor for saying I don't care?" He shook his head again and let out a frustrated growl.

"Even if I was going to betray my family that way, I couldn't, you idiot," Regulus growled back as he headed for the door.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Topher hissed, thrusting his hand against the door to keep it closed.

Regulus smirked up at the other boy and rolled his eyes. "Two weeks back, have you even seen Anthony?" he asked, his voice calm and arrogant, though a bead of sweat broke on the back of his neck and his hands curled tightly at his sides.

"No, but he's a seventh year and in a different house," Topher answered, his face twisting in confusion. "He isn't here?"

Regulus snorted a laugh and tried to pull the door open, but Topher held firm against it. "No, he isn't here. Anthony isn't here and he won't ever be here, ever, he won't ever be anywhere. Are you fucking happy now! Let me out of this damn room!" he shouted, shoving at his friend.

Topher grabbed onto Regulus' upper arms and shoved him back towards the boy's bed. "No, I'm not happy. I want you to explain that. What do you mean he won't ever be anywhere? Is he...dead?" When Regulus nodded, Topher gaped at him and narrowed his eyes. "How the hell do you know that?"

Regulus turned away from Topher's fierce stare and shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't you pull that shit with me, Regulus, you answer my question. Right now!" Topher yelled, grabbing onto Regulus' shoulder and jerking the boy back around to face him. "How do you know or why do you _think_ that he's dead?"

"Oh, I know. I know because..." Regulus took a deep breath and pulled back the left sleeve of his robe, then started unbuttoning the cuff of his shirt. "I know because of this," he finished, turning up his sleeve end enough for Topher to see the bottom half of his Dark Mark.

Topher stared down at his friend's arm, speechless, for what seemed like hours, though was only a few minutes. "Is that real?" he whispered, then immediately shook his head. "Of course, it's real. That was a stupid question, you wouldn't just...but you're sixteen, Regulus," he said, his voice stern and confused as he tore his eyes away from the boy's tainted flesh. "You saw it?"

"I did it," Regulus spat as he pushed his sleeve back down and buttoned it.

"You did it? That's a fucking joke, right? A sick joke, but a joke, tell me it is a joke!" Topher snapped as he grabbed onto the other boy's shoulders and shook him so hard Regulus became dizzy.

Regulus shoved at Topher, in an effort to escape the shaking, and stepped back out of the boy's reach. He hitched his bag higher up on his shoulder, as it had slipped to his elbow while freeing himself, and glared across at Topher. "It isn't a joke. I had to, alright? He was there and I was there and Bella was screaming so loud and she was... Gah, you know what? I don't have to explain a fucking thing to you! You don't have the slightest clue what is going on out there. Not one single idea. If what we knew before was even half of..." His voice trailed off into a growl and he shoved his way around Topher, then spun around to face the boy. "You don't have a damn clue what is really going on here. This is a fucking war, Topher. A real war. It might not be out in the streets where everyone can see, but it is a war none-the-less and I suggest you pick a damn side, because there isn't any neutral ground."

"Is that a threat?" Topher hissed, his eyes wide with shock.

"A threat? Yes, it is a threat. Not from me though, if I was threatening you, then you could kick my ass and be done with it, but it isn't me. I don't speak for myself anymore," Regulus said, coldly. With that, he pulled open the dormitory door and made his way down the hall into the common room.

Evan Rosier was a tall boy, standing half a foot over Regulus. He had small brown eyes and sharp features, slightly resembling his sister. His hair was the same brown as Elizabeth's and cut quite short, only reaching the middle of his forehead in front and even shorter around the sides. He had the kind of build that one would see in a fierce athlete, though he didn't actually partake in any sports. His nose turned up with a sense of unjustified arrogance anytime he spoke and his hands had a way of flailing about to accent every word. He was sitting on one of the black, leather couches in the common room, his feet propped up on the table in front of him, his face twisted into a sneer as he watched Regulus head to the door.

"Where's your boyfriend, Black?" Evan hissed loudly, just before the object of his question reached for the knob.

Regulus spun around to face Evan and returned the look of pure, cold hatred he was receiving. "I could ask you the same thing. I don't see your greasy sidekick anywhere," he said, letting out a feigned laugh of arrogance. There was no point in even arguing the outright homosexual insult that the boy had intended with his question, for he was sure that Elizabeth would have told him.

Evan dropped his feet to the floor and started towards Regulus, his hands curled into tight fists at his sides and his face fixed in anger. "I should beat you 'till you can't breath for what you did to my sister," he growled.

For a moment, Regulus considered saying '_go ahead_' and taking the pain with a smile on his face. The moment following, he considered drawing his wand and using one of the many new curses he had been instructed in over the summer. In the end, it didn't matter what he would have done, for Evan was sprawled out on the floor, his hands clutching over his side, his face contorted in pain before Regulus could even choose. He glanced up to see Topher's angry face fixed straight down on Evan, his fist still curled tightly and held out in front of him.

"Don't you ever threaten him again, you fucking hear me?" Topher growled as he placed a swift kick into Evan's shin.

Evan nodded and writhed on the floor, then crawled a few steps away before climbing to his feet. "What the hell is wrong with you? When I tell my sister what you just did -"

"She'll tell you that you shoulda known better!" Elizabeth's voice cut off her brother's as she stepped up behind Topher and gently placed her hand over his fist, then lowered it down.

Topher's face softened and he gave Elizabeth a weak smile before turning back towards Regulus. "Were you just gonna let him hit you?" he asked, his eyebrows raising in confusion.

"I was thinking about it," Regulus answered, honestly. His eyes darted quickly to Elizabeth, then back up to Topher. "Why didn't you let him?" he asked. No sooner than he asked, he held up his hand and shook his head. "No, never mind. Just stay out of it next time," he muttered as he turned on his heel and fled the common room, faintly hearing Topher yell something that sounded like '_you're welcome_'. He tilted his head to the floor and pushed through the hallway, trying not to get bumped and shoved as he started towards the Great Hall.

Regulus stopped in the Entrance hall, his stomach paining for the breakfast that he almost missed, and waited for a group of Hufflepuffs to clear the doorway before stepping inside. At once, the smell of bacon, sausage, fried potatoes and sweet breads washed over him and made his stomach turn in revulsion. With one hand over his mouth, Regulus turned from the Great Hall and made his way towards Transfigurations class without eating.

* * *

_**Sept 18, 1977 - Dear Regulus,  
**__First of all, Regulus Black, you will not just "see me at Christmas" as you put it. If that is your attempt at telling me that you don't wish to write, then you should have the guts to say that straight out. Furthermore, I will not be shoved aside as so. You WILL continue to write and tell me of everything that is going on, because those are your orders. Do not even dare question me again, I hope that is perfectly clear. Second, do not sign your name in such a rudimentary and childish fashion. You are perfectly capable of spelling out your name and you will do so when addressing me._

_I never quite understood the appeal of Divination, myself, so I am quite glad that you aren't continuing to waste your time on such a worthless subject. You'll do well to thank Slughorn for allowing you into his class. Those are skills that you will need and I don't want to see another word demeaning such an important course. _

_Topher Mulciber? Why ever would he not be speaking to you? The boy is, from what I've heard, your closest of mates. His brother, William, has already been invited for the New Year's party that Rodolphus and I are having this year, so perhaps you'll get to see him there. The boy is shaping up quite nicely, though he has a ways to go before he is ready. Elizabeth Rosier is not someone that you should be concerning yourself with. Her blood isn't of high enough quality for our family. There is a young girl, a daughter of Rodolphus' cousin, that you might find appealing. She's a Ravenclaw, if I recall correctly. Her name is Sarah Bulstrode and she's a lovely girl. We had a rather lengthy chat with her father not too long ago and she has mentioned you in passing to him. It'll do you well to find her. Until we speak again. **- Bellatrix Lestrange**_

* * *

**A Note From the Author: This is part 1 of what will be a 6 part section. I had originally intended to make out two full chapters of only letters, but things have taken a different angle. You finally got to see Evan Rosier (no Snape, don't ever expect to see him) and perhaps Topher is "picking a side" as he was instructed. Maybe? What do you think? Love it or hate it, let me know. :D -Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums. **


	31. Letters to Bella – II

**Chapter 31: Letters to Bella – II**

**.**

_**Sept 28, 1977 - Dear Bella,  
**__I already know Sarah, she's a right loony! You can't honestly expect me to take interest in her, can you? Surely there are a LOT of other Pure-blooded girls that I can be matched with. There has to be. I know that the Pure-bloods are thinning but certainly there is someone. I don't care about age. I wouldn't mind waiting 5 years or even more if that's what it takes to find someone. Not everyone has to get married straight away. That's all I'll offer on that subject. As for Topher, he IS my best mate and his brother and I aren't as close, but I suppose it'll be nice to see him again. Classes are fine. For the record, if you're going to force me into writing you then I will sign my name in any damn way I desire. **- R.A.B.**_

* * *

Regulus scowled at the letter as he folded it harshly and crammed it into his pocket. "Bitch thinks she can just boss me around about everything," he muttered to himself. "Topher, are you ready yet? No one gives a damn how you look, it's Quidditch, not a party," he snipped, looking up to see Topher as he stashed his quill back into his nightstand drawer.

"Shut up," Topher answered with a grin as he gave himself another glance in the mirror. "I wanna look good. It's my first shot as Captain and I don't want to look...shabby," he said with a nod. "I'm ready, now anyway, let's go." He waved his hand and the two boys headed out to the Quidditch Pitch together.

"So tell me, Captain, do you think I'll stay Seeker?" Regulus asked with a laugh as he pulled out his practice robes and started to kick off his shoes.

"Considering no one else is trying out, then I'd say it's a pretty good possibility." Topher laughed loudly as he too changed into his practice robes and took a place in front of the blackboard in the changing room. He paced back and forth in front of the board, muttering under his breath, practicing what he was going to say when the other players arrived. "Regulus," he cried out, spinning around towards the other boy. "Should I call everyone by name or just say _guys_? Well, they might not be all guys, what if there are girls this year? I can't boss around a girl."

Regulus smirked at his friend and rolled his eyes, dramatically. "Topher, quit stressing out. You've known these people for years, just say whatever feels right." He turned his attention back to his gloves before adding, "I doubt any girls are going to show up. They never do." He gave a shrug and dropped down onto the bench nearest the blackboard. "Why aren't there any other people trying out for Seeker? There were last year. Wouldn't you think the same people would turn up?"

Topher swallowed hard and gave a shrug that looked more than forced. "How should I know?" he asked, letting out a slightly nervous laugh. When Regulus frowned at him, Topher heaved a sigh and twisted his lips in thought. "Okay, so I might have heard a few people talking in the library a few days ago and they might have been trying to talk Murray out of trying out and they might have mentioned that you might be a...Death...Eater," he said, locking his eyes on the ground in front of him.

"That's an awful lot of _might_ _haves_, Topher," Regulus said with sarcasm. "How could that kind of thing get around?" he asked, more to himself than the other boy. "I know you wouldn't say anything. You didn't say anything to _her_ did you?" He looked up at Topher and raised one eyebrow, waiting for his answer.

"No!" Topher snapped. "I wouldn't tell Elizabeth that. She'd...she's probably freak out and go screaming it to half the damn House. Your brother?" he offered.

Regulus shook his head and lifted his feet up onto the bench next to him. "He wouldn't. No way he'd go off telling that kind of thing."

"Maybe," came a new voice from the doorway of the changing room, "the two of you just aren't so great at talking where others can't hear you." A thin boy with nicely coiffed, straw-colored blonde hair and large, piercing, chocolate brown eyes was leaning casually against the door frame, his hip jutted out and his head tilted to the side, his entire posture giving him the appearance of uncaring. The fingertips of his right hand were wedged into his mouth, the nails being chewed into nothing, while his left hand rested inside the pocket of his finely tailored, black slacks. "Can I see it?" he asked, his voice cool and even as he stared across the changing room at the two boys.

"See what?" Topher asked at the exact same time as Regulus replied, "No, you can't see it." The two exchanged an amused glance then turned their eyes back towards the boy in the doorway.

"What are you even doing here, Crouch?" Topher asked, folding his arms over his chest and pursing his lips at the boy.

Bartemius Crouch Jr. dropped his hand from his lips and stood up from his leaning position. He gave a small sniffle, his nose twitching as he did, and started towards Topher. "There's a spot open. Two actually, though I have _no_ interest in taking your brother's place as a Beater," he answered, now placing his free hand into his other pocket. He stopped just a ways before he reached Topher, then licked over his lips. "There's a Chaser spot, yes? I want to try out. I'm damn fast and accurate as hell."

Topher ran his tongue over the front of his teeth as he eyed up the blonde boy. He gave a small snort and twisted his lips into a smirk. "Aren't you afraid to get dirty? You're dressed a little fancy to be coming down to try out for Quidditch," he said, his voice flat as he stared at the boy's pressed slacks and white shirt.

"Aye, I am, I suppose," Bartemius replied, flicking his thumb casually across his nose. "I assumed their would be...practice uniforms of some sort," he said with a shrug, tucking his hand back into his pocket. "I don't really own anything less than this."

Topher shook his head and dropped his arms to his side. "We have practice uniforms for the team members. Not for people trying out." He stared hard at the other boy and frowned. "What year are you, Crouch? Fourth?"

"Fifth," Bartemius answered. "You can just call me Barty, I don't much care for my last name."

Regulus snorted a laugh and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I wouldn't either," he muttered as he stood up and walked over to stand in front of Bartemius. He was still a moment, then gave a nod. "You're a bit taller than me, but..." He trailed off as he turned around and moved to his locker. He grabbed up a set of his practice robes and carried them back over to the boy. "Here. You can wear these to try out. Don't look at me like that, Topher, we need a damn Chaser," he added, glancing at his scowling friend. "You better be good," he said, directing his attention back to the blonde.

Bartemius was, in fact, good. Not only good, he was great. During the warm up alone, he proved to fly faster than everyone on the team as well as those trying out, save Regulus of course, who was still quite a bit ahead of the boy. He outscored the three other Slytherins who showed up for the position of Chaser, as well as one of the remaining members of the team from the previous year. By the end of try-outs, the glares and snorts from Topher were a thing of the past. The new Quidditch team Captain was soon staring at the young boy as though he were bathed in gold.

"That was bloody brilliant," Topher said, for the third time, as he and Regulus tidied up the changing room after practice.

"Yes, I heard you the first time, Topher. And the second," Regulus said with a sigh. "He was good. I get it."

"Yeah, but did you see how fast he went? Damn near almost out-flew you," Topher said with a laugh as he wiped clean the blackboard, which had been covered with several plays for the upcoming season.

"He did no such thing," Regulus snapped, turning a fierce eye to his friend. "I was ages ahead of him."

"Yeah, he was," Bartemius agreed as he stepped back into the changing room, a good fifteen minutes after the rest of the team, and presumably himself, had left the Pitch. "I forgot to give this back," he said, holding up Regulus' practice robes. He tossed them to the boy when Regulus held his hands out, indicating a catching position. "Thanks," he added, raising his eyebrows and rolling onto the tips of his toes.

"Yeah, no problem," Regulus answered, tossing the used robes into the hamper with the others.

Bartemius took a sliding step towards Regulus and tilted his head slightly. "So...can I see it?" he asked, his eyes widening with excitement. "You have it, right? The mark."

Regulus frowned at the other boy and shook his head. "You shouldn't believe everything you hear. Just go on, get out of here."

"That isn't a no," Bartemius said, taking another step towards Regulus. "I won't tell anyone, I swear, just let me look at it." His brown eyes locked hard onto Regulus' grey ones, his stare intense as though he were trying to read the deceit in the boy's gaze. "Come on then, let's have a look."

"Stop staring at me like that and there isn't anything to _look_ at, so just go on and scram," Regulus demanded, taking a step back from the advancing blonde.

Bartemius' lips twisted up into an eerie smile and he brought his fingertips to his mouth to cover it. "You're a bad liar, Regulus Black," he said over his fingers as he started biting onto the ends of his nails. "Even if you weren't, I would know still," he admitted, dropping his hand back down and stuffing it into his pocket. "I'm good at knowing when people lie."

"Well you certainly aren't good at taking a clue," Topher interjected as he stepped between Regulus and Bartemius, blocking both their views. "He said there is nothing to see, so get out of here."

"Aye, aye, Captain," Bartemius said, mockingly, reaching his hand up to give Topher a dramatic salute. "I'll just wait until you're in a better mood...or alone," he added, looking around Topher to see Regulus. He gave a sharp turn on his heel and strolled casually out of the changing room, leaving the other two boys to stare after him in amusement.

"He's kinda...odd," Regulus offered, raising one eyebrow and turning his attention to his friend. When the other boy nodded in response, Regulus pointed around to the small mess still left in the changing room. "Let's get finished here. I'm hungry."

"We should get a towel boy or something; someone to clean this shit up so we don't have to do it," Topher said with a laugh. "Or an elf. You think Kreacher would do it?" He glanced back and smirked at Regulus as they finished picking up the towels left behind from the players.

* * *

_**Oct 3, 1977 - Dear Regulus,  
**__You are insufferable. If I didn't know better, I would think that you're allowing that brother of yours to corrupt your mind. I hope that isn't the case. You know you aren't allowed to be around that traitor to our family. The boy is a wretched waste of space and you will do well to stay far away from him. As for Miss Bulstrode, she is a very fine match for you. Waiting five or more years is a ludicrous idea when there is a perfectly suitable arrangement that can be made with someone who is of your age. You will take the time to speak with her and you will see how lovely she is. Her father says that she has tried on many occasions to speak with you and you are avoiding her. That type of behavior is not acceptable and you'll amend it straight away. I'm not asking you to fall in love, merely join her for tea._

_You will need to say more than your classes are "fine", cousin. I need to be sure that you aren't slacking on your studies. Poor grades are a bad reflection on our family and I won't have it. I'm including a book that I found in the shoppes last week. It is a sort of Potions companion guide and it'll help you out when you're having trouble. There is space where you can add your own notes if you'd like. Tell me if you're having trouble in any other classes and I will certainly be there to help you out. _

_You have a Hogsmeade weekend coming shortly, though I doubt it has been announced as of yet. I will be there as well, so we must sit and have a chat. Perhaps Miss Bulstrode can join us as well. Until we speak again. **- Bellatrix Lestrange**_

* * *

**A Note From the Author: I always love the introduction of a new character. I can't wait to hear what you all think about Barty Crouch Jr. here and what sort of role he might play in the rest of the story. So glad that you're all still reading. I THINK this is going to be the halfway point, so there is still quite a bit to go. Everyone reviewing, Thank you. Those of you doing it anonymously, thank you. Those of you not reviewing, but reading still, a Thank you to you as well. :D –Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	32. Letters to Bella – III

**Chapter 32: Letters to Bella – III**

**.**

_**Oct 14, 1977 - Dear Bella,  
**__I have NOT been hanging around Sirius! Let's just get that out of the way straight off. I haven't even seen the jerk in a week and even then it was only because he and his jerk friends were being hauled off to detention and passed by me. He isn't influencing anything, I can have my own opinions of the stupid girl if I want. I'll have the stupid tea with her if it will make everyone that damn happy, but I'm not going to enjoy it._

_Say more than classes are fine? Fine! Transfigurations is a right bore and I am already better than most of the seventh years at it. On account of that, McGonagall has decided I can handle extra study. Honestly, I think she's just finding a way to punish me for hexing Martin Price since she CAN'T PROVE IT. Potions is going as bad as always. Though I have to say, that book is a little help. Today I actually blew up, yes BLEW UP my cauldron. Slughorn was in a right state and started going on about how Sirius doesn't give him so much trouble. It wasn't my fault though, Topher thought it said to add, ah it doesn't matter. Herbology was just another bore, we've spent the last two days just harvesting knotgrass for some stupid Potions assignment that Slughorn is doing. Is that enough on classes? The others aren't any more interesting._

_They announced the Hogsmeade trip a few days ago. Yes, I'm going to go and yes, I will sit like a good boy while you and Sarah discuss my future and then maybe you'll see how bloody annoying that girl is! I'm actually looking forward to the trip because it'll get me away from this damn school for a while. The rumors are getting out of hand. Really out of hand, and some of them are getting scarily close to the truth. Most of the House is dead certain about the you know what on my you know where from you know who and no matter how many times I say it isn't true, they just won't listen. Granted I can't exactly show them as proof, so I can see why. One kid won't let up for anything. If we didn't need him on the team, I would blast the jerk clear across the school. The other rumors are getting close to the truth too. People are noticing that several of the Muggle-borns aren't here and Dumbledore sent out someone to see and the reports are that the families are missing. Right now they are reporting that the families are fleeing, of course you've probably seen that. I'm at a loss here. **- R.A.B.**_

* * *

Regulus heaved a sigh as he folded up the letter to his cousin and slipped it into the pocket of his uniform, black slacks. It was just before dinner time and he was sitting in the library, at a table near the door, his Transfigurations book open, having just finished an essay. He had decided to take the time between finishing the essay, and going back to proofread it, to write the letter he had been neglecting. He had just pulled his essay back in front of him when a figure dropped into the seat next to him. "What do you want?" he asked, not taking his eyes from the parchment before him.

Bartemius put his elbows up onto the table in front of him and stuck the ends of his right fingers into his mouth. "I just wanted to say hello," he said, casually, staring hard at the side of the other boy's head. "Hello."

"Goodbye," Regulus answered, dryly, as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and chewed at it.

"You're in a bad mood...again?" Bartemius asked, his eyes narrowing. "You know, if you slept more, then you'd be in a better mood sometimes."

"My sleeping schedule is none of your business, you nosy sod."

"I'm just saying, you look like death. When was the last time you got some sleep? I see you in the common room a lot, at night. I don't sleep well either, but I figure it's better not to bug you when you think you're alone and I do-"

"Shut. Up." Regulus sighed and tried to focus back on his task and ignore the boy beside him.

Bartemius gave a small snort and drummed the fingers of his free hand on the table. His eyes were still locked cold onto Regulus' head, just above the boy's ear.

"You better not be trying that mind reading shit on me again," Regulus said, his tone calm yet still with the edge of threat. "I mean it."

"It isn't mind reading," Bartemius snapped, slamming both hands flat on the table with a loud smack. "It is called Legili-"

"I _so_ do not care!" Regulus interrupted, clear exasperation showing in his voice. He closed his book over his essay and lifted his bag onto the table, then stuffed his things into it. "I have something to take care of. I swear if you follow me I will curse you into six different pieces," he hissed as he pulled his bag onto his shoulder and started out of the library.

Regulus pushed into the hallway and sped through towards the grounds, his button down uniform shirt flapping open, exposing his plain white tee-shirt underneath. His tie was hanging loose around his neck and bouncing against his chest as he hurried along his way, eager to get out of sight before the abandoned blonde from the library chose to make chase. He took a deep breath of the cool evening air as he stepped out onto the school grounds and started in the direction of the Owlery tower.

To say that the Owlery ever held a pleasant odor would be a grave mistake, but on this particular evening, it seemed to hold an even more deplorable scent. Regulus crinkled his nose is disgust as he stepped into the main of tower with the owls. Besides the usual scent of owl leavings and mulched, rotting feathers that swept through the tower, there was a mingling of smoke and burnt match tips dancing through the Owlery. The boy pulled his letter free and hurried over to one of the school's barn owls, eager to send off his letter and be rid of the foul smell. Just as he was sending the bird on its way, he heard an all too familiar voice.

"Regulus! Come here, I've been looking for you today."

Regulus took a deep breath, though he regretted it as he inhaled faint traces of smoke and owl tainted air. "Nice to see you, Sarah," he said with an overly fake smile. He took a back step towards the door, his eyes sweeping over the girl's body.

Sarah was still in her school uniform, though she had clearly taken casual to the next level. Her skirt was hitched higher than it could have properly sat on its own and her blouse was being held together by a mere four buttons directly over her chest, leaving her navel exposed if she jutted her hip out just right, which she was doing. Her strawberry laced, golden blonde locks were piled high into a loose ponytail, some of the strands, having slipped free, were framing around her face and falling over her mostly exposed neck. The dark blue and bronze stripped tie that should have hung around her neck, was instead tucked playfully into the side of her pleated, school skirt. One hand rested delicately on her hip while the other was extended to the side, holding a cigarette between her thin fingers.

Sarah smiled over at Regulus and lifted her unoccupied hand, curling her finger in a beckoning way. "Come here a moment, I want you to meet my friend properly," she said.

Regulus swallowed back the urge to bolt, as he had promised his cousin he would at least give Sarah the time of day, and gave a small wave to the girl several steps away from Sarah. He vaguely recalled her as the same girl he had seen almost a year previous, the one who had called him a jerk or something of the sort, he wasn't too bothered to remember in exact.

The other girl was a Ravenclaw as well, he could tell alone from her tie, which was fastened properly over her blouse, which was also fastened properly. Her uniform still held the day's requirements, the skirt sitting at her knees, the blouse tucked in smoothly. The girl was just a bit taller than Sarah, though her posture was so straight they could have been the same height if Sarah chose to mimic it. She wasn't stunning, yet she wasn't the sort you would instantly reject either. Her looks were plain and she did nothing to enhance them, wearing no make-up of any sort. Her deep black hair was wispy and straight, parted slightly to the left and hung just below her ears. She wore large, thick framed glasses that actually suited her facial structure and enhanced the size of her light green eyes.

Sarah rolled her eyes at Regulus' meager greeting and took a long drag from her cigarette before walking over to him and snapping hold of his wrist. "Would you stop acting shy and come over here?"

"I'm not shy," Regulus snapped, twisting his wrist from Sarah's grip, quickly. He stuffed his hands down into his pockets and stood out of arms' reach from either girl.

"Regulus, this is Della. Della...Regulus," Sarah rattled off speedily, pointing to each party as she spoke their name.

"I know who he is," Della said, pointedly. "You act like you haven't been talking about him non-stop for the last month." She rolled her eyes and picked up a pack of cigarettes off of the ledge just behind her. "Do you want one?" she asked, no inflection or caring in her voice as she held out the pack towards Regulus.

Regulus twisted a face and grimaced at the pack as though she were offering him to pet a deceased rat. "No. I do not," he said, throwing inflection onto every word as he spoke it. He watched as Della took one for herself and lit it with a match, then tossed the sliver onto the floor. "You know, that can't be good for the owls," he said, distantly.

"Like you care about the owls," Sarah said, leaning back against the wall and staring hard at the boy. "You sure you don't want to try one? Very relaxing. N.E.W.T. years are such a pain." She put her own, half smoked cigarette between her lips and leaned forward to snag a hold of Regulus' hand. "Why do you always act like I'm gonna bite you?" she asked, the bright tip dancing in her mouth as she spoke. She took a long drag and blew her smoke towards Regulus.

The boy pulled his hand from Sarah's and waved it in front of his face. "That smells dreadful," he said, refusing to cough like some childish novice. He had been exposed to smoke plenty in his time as his father was fond of cigars. That, he assumed, was the very reason he had such a distaste for the smell of burning tobacco. His father only smoked on the days that he considered his children to be unruly and unmanageable, leading Regulus to associate the smell of cigars with his brother being punished in a most cruel fashion. Despite his inner protests, he coughed when a second wave of smoke came his way, then took a step away from Sarah, his bottom lip held tight between his teeth.

"Let him leave," Della snapped, her eyes narrowing towards Regulus. "You shouldn't be hanging out with him anyways. You've heard what people are saying about him, you don't wanna be mixed up with that, do you?"

"Rumors, Della. I don't listen to rumors." Sarah waved her hand, dismissively, at her friend and flashed Regulus a smile. "My dad says that you and your cousin want to have lunch me this weekend. Is that true? Do you _really_ want to or are you being forced?"

Regulus swallowed hard at the question and gave Sarah a small shrug. "You're...you're okay. I mean, no one is _forcing_ me, I just would rather...not. It's fine, really. I don't mind having lunch, just don't start picking out wedding dresses or anything," he said with a snort. "Maybe you could be a little less..." He trailed off, finishing his sentence by waving his hand towards the girl's outfit. "That," he finished, pointedly. "Pure-blood or not, you kinda look like a vixen."

Sarah's face grew cold at the boy's words and she tossed her cigarette onto the ground. The toe of her shoe skidded across the burning tip and ground it into nothing while she stared angrily at Regulus. "I do not look like a vixen. I look great and it is about time that you realized that," she hissed as she took a step towards Regulus. "Kiss me," she said with authority as she stood just in front of Regulus and looked down towards him.

"No, you've been smoking."

"So?"

"So...you'll taste like smoke."

"So?"

"That's gross."

"Have you ever kissed someone that smokes?"

"No."

"Then you don't know if it's gross."

"I'm not kissing you."

"Why?"

"I barely know you."

"Then get to know me, Regulus Black, because I just might be picking out a wedding dress before you realize it."

Regulus gaped at Sarah's words and shook his head in disbelief. "I have to go. I'm not kissing you...not right now." With that, he marched back out of the Owlery and started a search for Topher, the only sane thinking person he could count on.

* * *

_**Oct 17, 1977 - Dear Regulus,  
**__I'm well aware of the reports. There is no need to be a smart ass about your classes. We will discuss the other concerns you have in Hogsmeade. I must insist once more that you find a more dignified manner to sign your name. Until we speak again. **- Bellatrix Lestrange**_

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Okay, so the next chapter will back in normal style, then it will be two more letter chapters. I am dying to know what you guys think of Sarah right about now. Is she "blowing smoke" about the wedding dress? I love puns. Just a note, in the 70s, people really didn't know how bad smoking was for you, so none of that "A Ravenclaw should be smarter" stuff, pleeeeaaassssse. Yes, Della is a new character, but she isn't a main one, so don't anyone get too excited about her. She was briefly back in chapter 10. :D –Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	33. Negotiations Over Goblin Concoctions

**Chapter 33: Negotiations Over Goblin Concoctions**

**.**

Topher sat up in his bed, a bit earlier than needed, the Saturday morning of the Hogsmeade visit. He frowned at the sight of the empty bed next to his. The sight of Regulus' empty bed was something he was growing all too used to and he didn't like it one bit. Before, when the boy was sneaking away to see Anthony, his bed would have the covers still neatly made and nice, but now the sheets were a twisted mess and the covers askewed something awful. He ran his hand back through his hair and slid his feet into his night slippers, then made his way to the common room. "Regulus, are you down here?"

Regulus was sitting on one of the dark leather couches, nearest the large, lake view window, his knees pulled to his chest and his eyes staring mindlessly into the water. "Right here," he answered, distantly.

Topher cringed a bit at seeing the other boy's bottom lip cracked open and still covered in fresh, drying blood. He tapped Regulus on the shoulder and thumbed back towards the hallway he had emerged from. "Come on, it's time to get ready for Hogsmeade," he said, trying to feign a tone of excitement. When Regulus silently followed him back to the bedroom, Topher couldn't keep his thoughts to himself anymore. "You need to talk to someone, the Nurse, maybe. I'll bet she can give you something to help you sleep."

"I don't _want_ to sleep," Regulus replied, dryly as he dug into his trunk and picked out a pair of slacks. "I fall asleep and then...I have to see it." He glanced over towards the beds of their roommates and then turned his eyes back to Topher. "I'm gonna have a shower," he sighed out, grabbing up his things and turning from the room.

Hours later, Regulus sat upright on a stool, in the Hog's Head, watching Bellatrix and Sarah talk about him as though he wasn't in the room. The two spoke about his bad habits and how great he looked standing next to Sarah, despite their height differences. One thing Regulus was happy about, Sarah had chosen to wear something less revealing for the _date_. He drummed his fingers in boredom, glancing around the pub for anyone that he could talk to, making Bellatrix reach out and give him a swat on the arm.

"That's annoying," Bellatrix hissed at her cousin, narrowing her eyes in a dare-you-to-defy manner. "Here, drink this, it'll make you less...you," she sneered, sliding over a glass half full of Goblin Vodka.

Regulus stared wide-eyed at the woman, waiting for her to recant and chastise him for believing the offer, but she merely waved him on and returned to her conversation about Sarah's mother and her ties to foreign politics. He stared down at the glass and lifted it up, admiring the shine of the liquid as it sloshed gently with the movement. He inhaled the scent of the clear liquid and threw one more tentative glance towards his cousin before sipping the drink.

Instantly, Regulus felt the urge to gag on the Vodka. It was quite possibly the most foul thing he had ever tasted. It dried his tongue and burned his throat, making him cringe in discomfort. He had drank Firewhiskey before, but it hadn't bothered him the way this was.

"Regulus, don't be such a wimp," Sarah said, a slight laugh to her voice. "It's just Goblin Vodka, not even the top shelf either." She rolled her eyes at the boy and leaned against the table, giving a small toss to her golden blonde curls. "Just finish it up, trust me, it gets better after the first few drinks."

Regulus tightened his grip on the glass and frowned, his eyes moving between Sarah's brown and Bellatrix's grey orbs, both of which were fixed on him with anticipation. Sarah's hand smoothed over the boy's knee and rested on his inner thigh, making Regulus heart start to race in a near painful way. He tipped up the glass and quickly drained what was left of it, then squeezed his eyes closed, hoping to will away the sting that lay on his tongue. He sat the glass back down onto the table and put his hand over Sarah's, then guided it over his leg until it fell from him completely.

Sarah frowned and scooted her chair a bit closer to Regulus', then leaned towards Bellatrix. The conversation took a turn towards Regulus' reluctance towards smoking and a bit after that, the boy was too focused on the oncoming headache to listen to the female banter around him. After a while, Bellatrix ordered up a round of the same Vodka for everyone. Sarah had downed half her glass before it hit the table, having taken it directly from the server's hand. With a heavy reluctance, Regulus picked up his glass and drank back the contents.

_She lied_, was the first thing to cross Regulus' mind as his throat was once again tortured. "That isn't any better," he whispered out, shoving the glass from him and scowling at it.

The boy's distaste was met with laughter and Sarah, once again, laid her hand on his leg. Regulus wasn't sure what was worse, the sting in his throat, the pounding that was increasing in his head or the fact that he was being subjected to having his girlfriend rub her hand over his leg, gradually getting higher with each brush. Girlfriend...he wasn't exactly sure when that had been established, but seeing as how Sarah and Bellatrix had mentioned it several times, he was certain it wasn't a negotiable term. Besides the unpleasantness raging through his body, one thing Regulus wasn't feeling was a racing heart and the sudden inability to breath properly.

It had taken months of practice for Anthony to be able to touch him the way that Sarah was, which was a rather inappropriate thing to do in public, he thought. Even then, he still had his moments of upset and there were even times the two couldn't do more than sit across the bed and talk to each other. He swallowed back dry air and rubbed his fingers over his eyes, roughly, trying to clear up the slight haze in his vision. His hand nearest Sarah, fell atop the girl's and held it firm near his knee, not allowing her to continue her pursuit.

He wasn't sure how long they had been sitting inside the Hog's Head when Bellatrix announced her need to leave, but it had been long enough to get a third glass of the foul Goblin concoction into his system. He managed to mumble out a goodbye to his cousin and a weak promise to write to her the following day. Sarah slid her fingers into Regulus' hand and led him down the main street of Hogsmeade, swinging their hands just slightly.

"Where are we going?" Regulus asked, his head pounding fiercely. "Can we just go back to the school?" he asked, quietly, squinting at the sun.

"I wanted to go to Honeydukes before we went back," Sarah answered, her tone sweet but leaving no room for argument. "I really like your cousin, she seems to like me too. Don't you think?"

"What?" Regulus asked, dumbly as they stepped into the candy shop.

Sarah rolled her eyes and led the boy over to the display case of fudge. "Never mind, just pick out your candy," she ordered. "I'll have a slice of the peppermint chocolate and a slice of the dark chocolate cherry," she called out, this time speaking to the man behind the counter. "Should I have gotten two? Do you like either of those flavours?"

Regulus shook his head and pulled a face. "I don't like chocolate," he answered, smirking at the horrified look that crossed Sarah's face. "Sorry, I just don't. Never much cared for it." He pointed over towards the large display of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans and smiled. "Those are what I like. Those and peppermint toads." He pulled away from Sarah and made his way to the display, stumbling slightly and catching himself on another student, who hurried away quickly.

"You're such a light weight," Sarah laughed, pulling the boy's arm around her shoulders.

"I can't help it," Regulus snapped, staring at the girl in annoyance. "I don't drink very often and I've never had that before."

"Never?"

"Never ever."

Sarah shook her head in disbelief and led the boy to the counter, where he paid for both of their candy selections. Back out on the street, the two turned for the school and Regulus left his arm around Sarah.

"You didn't argue with me," he said, flashing the girl a grin.

"Argue about what?" Sarah wrapped her arm around Regulus' waist and smirked every time the boy stumbled a bit.

"The candy," Regulus answered. "Every single time I tried to pay for something, Elizabeth would argue with me. _I'm rich too, you know?_" he said, mocking a high pitched and whiny tone. "Like it matters. Guys pay, that's just how it is. Being rich shouldn't matter."

Sarah smiled and licked her lips, though didn't speak her mind either way about what Regulus had said.

"You have better hair, too." Regulus bent his arm a bit and let his fingers play through Sarah's long hair. "Blonde, I like blonde, it's so...blonde and pretty." He gave a goofy smile and let his arm drop to his side, instantly taking Sarah's hand into his own. "You're not so bad, like this."

"Like what?" Sarah asked, pulling the boy to a stop and taking her hand away. She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot, staring at Regulus, expectantly. "I'm not so bad when you're a little drunk? Is that what you meant?"

Regulus sniggered a little, as that had been exactly what he had meant. The look on Sarah's face, however, made him certain that it was not something he should say aloud. "No, I mean when we're alone," he lied, smiling at how quickly he managed to cover his tracks. "I like you alone, not around that...Delba."

"Della."

"Whatever," Regulus said, waving his hand, uncaring. "Come here," he said, curling his finger at the girl and beckoning her over.

"Why?" Sarah asked, dropping her arms to a more relaxed position and shifting her bag of sweets between hands.

Regulus reached out and wrapped one arm around the girl's waist, then pulled her flush against him. He stared up into her eyes and tilted his head, then lifted himself just enough to press his lips against hers. The kiss was sloppy, off centered and quick, but that didn't stop Sarah from gushing with a huge smile when it was over. She licked over her lips and took the boy by the hand, seemingly more eager to get back to the school than she had been moments ago.

"Regulus!" Topher's voice called out from behind the young couple. The boy ran ahead of them and stopped in front, forcing the two to stop walking. "Hello," he said, wearily, giving Sarah a small wave. "What's, um...what's going on here?" he asked, looking down at Regulus and pointing to the two's joined hands.

"Sarah's my girlfriend now," Regulus answered, a bit louder than was necessary.

Topher widened his eyes and let out a laugh. "Are you drunk?" he asked, looking between the two with disbelief. When he was answered with a nod from both parties, Topher shook his head and sighed. "Alright, then. Where are you and your _girlfriend_ going?"

"Hey! Don't...don't say it like that. She is my girlfriend," Regulus quickly defended. "She is and she's-she's blonde!" He nodded defiantly as though Topher were arguing with him and rubbed at his eyes. "Stupid sun. Why's it gotta be so bright?"

"We should get back up to the school. He needs to lie down." Sarah pursed her lips at Topher and looped her arm through Regulus', making him almost drop his candy bag. "Here, I'll take it," she sighed out, grabbing it from him. "I don't know if I like you this way. Let's just get you to your bed."

"Are _you_ coming to my bed?" Regulus asked, staring at Sarah with hopeful eyes.

Sarah grinned and licked over her lips, then nodded. "Never mind, I _do_ like you this way," she recanted, taking the slightly wobbly boy by the hand and stepping around Topher. "See you later, Mulciber," she called out, giving a wave back to him.

Topher put his hand over his mouth and, for a moment, considered following behind them to make sure his friend wasn't taken advantage of in his inebriated state. He stuffed his hands down into his pockets and looked back towards Hogsmeade, where he had left Elizabeth, then back after Regulus and Sarah. "He's a big boy," he said, dismissively as he spun around and ran back towards the village.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Hogsmeade weekend here. Next chapter will go back to a letter session with Bellatrix. Leave me some thoughts, how do you see things playing out with Sarah now that Regulus has realized he can handle her when drunk? :D –Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	34. Letters to Bella – IV

**Chapter 34: Letters to Bella – IV**

**.**

_**Oct 24, 1977 - Dear Bella,  
**__I am NEVER drinking that stuff again! I mean it, Bella. I feel like my brain is going to melt and I could barely sleep from sweating so bad. Not only that, Sarah ALMOST got me naked. Naked. As in exposed. She would have freaked out seeing my arm if we hadn't been interrupted. She still thinks all of this Dark Mark talk is just rumor and I really don't know what she'll do when she finds out differently. That being said, she isn't as bad as I thought. She can actually hold up a proper end of a conversation without starting to whine about herself half way through it. I don't know how Topher can stand being with Elizabeth, the whiny bitch. Speaking of her, Evan was going around the common room last night with some kind of list. He wouldn't show me, but Topher said it wasn't something he should have had. Don't know what that means, so you might want to look into it. **- R.A.B**._

* * *

"Regulus, are you finished yet?" Topher whined from his bed as he watched Regulus writing at the end of his own. "I wanna get to breakfast, I'm starving." He swung his feet to the floor and stood up determinedly. "That's it, either come now, or I leave you behind."

"I'm done," Regulus snapped, hurriedly folding up the letter for Bellatrix and stuffing it into his pocket. He jumped up from his bed and stuffed his feet into his shoes, then followed the other boy out of the room and all the way to the Great Hall.

The two were just settling down onto the bench at the Slytherin table when Sarah dropped herself into the space next to Regulus and wrapped her arms around him. Instantly, Regulus pried the girl from himself and slid further down the bench. He gave Sarah a warning look and, though she frowned and made a huffing sound, she didn't move to hold him again. Breakfast rolled on in silence and at the appearance of Elizabeth, Regulus decided to cut it short. He took Sarah by the hand and led her into the Entrance Hall, dropping their contact the moment they were alone.

"Why do you do that?" Sarah asked, giving the boy an analyzing look over. She held her hand out towards him and watched as he stared down at her fingers. "You were fine with it before."

Regulus looked from Sarah's outstretched hand to her face and gave her an apologetic smile. "I just...can't, alright? It isn't you, I swear it isn't you. It's anyone, ever, I just can't." He passed his hand back through his hair and turned towards the grounds. "I need to take care of some things, I'll see you later."

"Wait, can't I come along?" Sarah asked, falling into step beside Regulus as he headed out onto the grounds and towards the Owlery tower. Once they were with the birds, Regulus affixed his letter to an owl and watched it fly away as Sarah made her way over to the window and lit up a cigarette. "You sure you don't want one, they're relaxing," she implored, holding it out to him.

"I'm sure. You just stay up here and enjoy that," Regulus insisted, throwing a disgusted look towards the girl's hand. "I need to go back to my room a minute, I'll meet you later. We can...go for a walk or something," he offered with a false smile.

Sarah nodded and turned out of the window while Regulus quickly walked back to the school and to the Slytherin dungeon.

Regulus was not prepared for what he would see when he stepped into his dormitory room. Bartemius Crouch was sitting on the edge of Regulus' bed with the boy's gifted copy of _Macbeth_ perched in his lap. The younger boy was looking over each page so quickly, it would be hard to believe that he was actually reading.

"What are you doing?" Regulus asked, his entire body tensing with anger as he stared across at the violation of both his space and property.

Bartemius jumped up, slamming the book closed, and stared over at Regulus. "I was looking for you. I figured you'd come back, so I sat down to wait and found this." He held up the book to indicate what he meant by _this_.

"Found? You _found_ that? You just happened to be sitting on _my_ bed and conveniently found _my_ book, under _my_ pillow?" With each word, Regulus took a step nearer the boy, his eyes narrowing and his hands starting to shake.

"Okay, I was being nosy," Bartemius admitted, clutching the book to his chest like a shield. "Why do you have a Muggle book?"

"Put it down, Barty," Regulus growled, stopping just in front of Bartemius.

"Why do you have a Muggle book?" the younger boy repeated.

"That's none of your business."

"Who's Anthony?" Bartemius implored, raising his eyebrows at the obvious reaction his question had gotten from Regulus.

"Put. It. Down." Regulus tightened his lips and curled his hands into fists, his entire body growing hot with anger.

Bartemius took a step back, but didn't release the only thing that he knew was keeping him safe from any curses at the moment. "I just asked a question. Who is Anthony? The writing says that he wants you to keep reading it. Who is he? Is Anthony that Mudblood bloke that Will was hanging around last year?" The boy kept stepping away from Regulus, though he was only serving to put himself further into the room and away from the door.

Too blinded by anger to bother with his wand, Regulus launched himself towards the other boy, his fist knocking against the side of the boy's head, making him drop to his knees and hiss in pain. Bartemius clung tightly to the book and held one arm up to block any further assault.

"Stop, I'll give it back!" the blonde cried out, throwing an angry glance up towards Regulus. He scooted himself away and leaned back against the wall. "Here, take your stupid book," he said holding it up.

Regulus snatched the copy of _Macbeth_ from the other boy's hands and scowled at him as he rubbed his hand over the cover. He inspected the book for any signs of damage as he carried it back over to his bed and slipped it under his pillow. "Get the hell out of here."

Bartemius got to his feet and walked over to where Regulus was standing. "No, I came for a reason, remember? I need to talk to you." He dropped onto the boy's bed once more and looked up at him with an innocent expression, as though the altercation hadn't happened at all.

"I have nothing to say to you," Regulus snapped, turning his eyes coldly towards the boy.

When Bartemius' mouth opened in a clear sign that he was going to speak again, Regulus reached out and covered the boy's lips with his hand. The blonde grabbed onto the other boy's wrist and attempted to pry his fingers away, while his other hand pushed against Regulus' chest. A struggle quickly ensued in which Regulus was attempting to get Bartemius off of his bed and in turn Bartemius was trying to stay. After a few minutes of the silent, but heated fight, both boy's were messy haired and red in the face. Regulus was up on his knees on the bed, shoving at the other boy's chest and glaring, while Bartemius fought to get out of the boy's arm reach yet still remain on the bed.

"You don't have to be so rough!" Bartemius cried out, breaking the silence of the fight as he laid back on the bed and used his feet to scoot up the mattress out of the dark haired boy's reach.

The sound of a throat clearing loudly from the doorway caught both boy's attention and they looked over to see Topher leaning in the opening, wearing a rather smug grin. "Should I come back later?" he asked, licking over his lips to keep himself from laughing at the awkward sight.

"No!" Regulus answered, quickly. He threw himself back off the bed and glared over at the blonde, who was making no indication of getting up. "That wasn't what it looked like," he growled, tugging at his shirt hem and smoothing his hands down his chest to right his clothes.

Bartemius snapped to attention and launched himself from the bed, apparently having just understood what the fight might have looked like to an uninformed observer. He ran his fingers back through his hair and put on a dignified facial expression before looking back at the mess that was now Regulus' bed covers. "We were talking."

"We were fighting," Regulus corrected.

"That's what I said," Bartemius hissed, his face betraying no sign of the clear lie. "I should go."

"Thought you needed to talk," Regulus snorted, twisting his lips into a sneer at the retreating blonde.

Bartemius made a small scoffing sound as he pushed past Topher and disappeared back toward the common room.

"What the hell was that about?" Topher asked, still on the verge of laughter.

Regulus held his hands out as a way of saying he didn't know, then shrugged. "I have no clue. The little jerk was in here, on _my_ _bed_ when I got back. He was...messing with my stuff. My _private_ stuff." He angrily pulled at his bed cover in an attempt to make it look proper again, growling under his breath about disrespect and curses.

"He's kinda weird," Topher offered, breathing deeply to tame the grin on his face. "More than weird. I think you have a stalker." He smirked again when Regulus gave him a deadly glare, then sat down on his bed. "Why don't you just show him the damn Mark, then he'll leave you be?"

Regulus tensed his left arm, instinctively, and shook his head. "Not allowed. I shouldn't have showed you, but..." He didn't feel the need to carry on his sentence. "Things are really off right now," he muttered, giving up on the repair of his bed and sitting down. "I think that...well I think I'm going to marry Sarah after school."

Topher widened his eyes in disbelief and made a small choking sound. "You _want_ to marry Sarah?"

"No. I don't _want_ to marry her, I don't want to marry anyone. But I'm going to have to get married. It isn't acceptable for a Black to stay unwed very long after school and she's...well I could do worse." Regulus combed his fingers through his hair and stared over at Topher with a desperate look on his face.

"Well, you can always stay drunk the whole time. You seemed to like her just fine then," Topher offered up with a smile. "Don't worry about it, you'll be fine. Besides, we still have a year and a half 'till we're done with school. Things could change."

Regulus nodded and pulled the sleeve back off of his left forearm, then stared down at the light grey markings over his smooth skin. "Some things won't."

* * *

_**Nov 1, 1977 - Dear Regulus,  
**__Evan Rosier has been handled, same as his poxy list. That boy thinks that idle lip service is going to land him into the good graces of our Lord. I knew that you'd appreciate Sarah more once you got to really know her. She's a wonderful girl and her mother has the kind of connections that could land you a high position in the Ministry. It's been decided that you'll go into foreign relations, diplomacy could be a strong place for you, dear cousin, so try not to do anything to draw attention to yourself in a negative way._

_As for your Mark and where Sarah is concerned, just be careful. Things are in much too early a phase with her to go scaring the girl. Her father says that she is a bit of a blind eye to her parents true dealings, dense even. After talking to her, I truly believe that she would probably just rather not know what is going on. She's quite self serving, so lay on that Black charm that we all have and keep her hanging from your little finger. Everything will work out in due time, she'll come around when she's ready, I know it. Her family has been invited for Christmas and you'll meet her father. If he approves, then arrangements will be made. Until we speak again. **- Bellatrix Lestrange**_

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Stalkers, weddings and Dark Marks...oh my! Leave me some thoughts people. What do you think is going to happen with Regulus and Sarah now that she's found a way around his little intimacy issue? Do you think that there is a possibility they could be happy together? What do you think has been going through Topher's mind during all of this and will Barty ever get what he wants? What does Blondie truly want anyway? :D –Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	35. Letters to Bella – V

**Chapter 35: Letters to Bella – V**

**.**

_**Nov 4, 1977 - Dear Bella,  
**__Thank you for the package. I'm not used to getting things from home and that book has come in quite handy. That greased up Snape won't know what to do when I try out some of those spells on him. I know you're wondering, so I'll tell you, Sarah and I are doing just fine. Aside from the fact that her friend hates me and never misses the chance to call me out. What more could you expect from you a Half-blood? She's a right bitch. She goes on saying she's Pure, but I've heard otherwise. Do you really think I'm ready to meet her family? I'm not so sure about that. **- R.A.B**._

* * *

Regulus was headed back from the Owlery after sending off his letter to his cousin. His hands were stuffed deeply in his robe pockets, an effort to keep warm. His head was bent to the ground to keep his eyes from being stung with the cutting wind sweeping across the school grounds. The boy barely registered he was being followed until he felt a hand close around his upper arm and pull him off to the side of the castle doorway.

"What do you want?" Regulus snapped, jerking his arms from his brother's grip.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at his younger brother's tone and rubbed his finger tips against his temples. "Just hush a minute and let me talk, will ya?" He sighed and looked down at the other boy with worry in his eyes. "I'm sorry for how I reacted on the train and I shouldn't have attacked you like that, but damn it, Regulus, I was scared. I _am_ scared. You're my little brother and I -"

"Oh, come off it," Regulus sneered, twisting his lips into a scowl. "You don't give two seconds of thought about me unless I'm right in front of you. You took off, gone, left me behind and you didn't care one bit. You-you just left! You don't even talk to me at school unless y-"

"I've tried! You don't think I've tried?" Sirius yelled, interrupting the other boy. "I see you walking around with that Mulciber boy and I watch you get yourself deeper and deeper. I thought when Will was gone you would...I don't know, get better. But you've been worse!"

Regulus snorted indignantly and turned his face away.

"Listen to me! You don't think I care about you; think about you? You're wrong! I worry about you constantly but I don't know what to do." Sirius grabbed his brother's shoulders and forced him to turn to face him again. "I'm only seventeen, Regulus, I can't do everything. I try to talk to you but you're always surrounded or have this attitude."

Regulus clenched his teeth together and twisted his hands in his pockets. He shook his head slowly and stared down at the ground. "Then stop bothering. I don't want you around. I don't _need_ you around." He looked up and pushed the older boy back away from him, attempting to walk inside the school. When Sirius grabbed him once again, he pulled his wand and pressed the tip into his brother's chest. "Leave me alone," he growled.

Sirius stared straight into his brother's eyes and stood defiantly in place. "You gonna curse me, little brother?" he asked, his voice showing no trace of fear.

"If I have to."

"I don't believe you."

Regulus raised one eyebrow and twisted his wand, digging the tip painfully into Sirius' chest. The other boy stood firm, not backing down from the younger, despite the pain. The two stared into each other's eyes for a while, neither blinking, neither conceding. Slowly, the younger boy lowered his wand and let it hang to his side. His eyes stayed fixed hard on his brother's. "Leave me alone," he whispered, his teeth starting to clink together from the cold.

Sirius shook his head and licked over his parched lips. "I can't do that. I have to do something, I have to try and help you." After a long pause, he added, "Before it's too late."

"It's already too late," Regulus spat, a dry, cynical laugh following his words.

"No, it isn't. It might be too late to keep you from signing up with that..._man_, but it isn't too late to protect you." Sirius took a step closer to his brother and held out his hand. Resting on his palm was a small, silver key. "Take it. Come stay with me. After school, for the summer, you can live with me and I'll try to take care of you. You don't have to go back to that place, you don't have to live that life."

Regulus chewed on the inside of his cheek and stared down at the scrap of metal that was his brother's offering. "I've already told you, I'd rather die than move in with you."

"Then that's what'll happen!" Sirius screamed, throwing his hands against his brother's chest and knocking the boy back against the wall. He didn't even acknowledge the key as it dropped to the ground and bounced off the walkway. "Can't you see that? Are you really that stupid?"

"I'm not stupid!"

"Yes you are! You're an idiot, a total idiot!" The older boy growled in anger and clenched his fists, his hands shaking from cold and rage. It was clear in his eyes that he wanted to strike the smaller boy. Regulus tipped his head back. His jaw was exposed in a challenging way. Sirius screamed in frustration and stormed away from the boy; all the while muttering profanities under his breath.

Regulus watched until his brother's form was a distant memory. He stood up from the wall and turned towards the castle door, stopping only long enough to pick up the key from the dead, trampled grass. The metal felt as though it weighed more than him as he carried it in his closed fist back to the Slytherin common room.

"The nerve of that asshole," Regulus seethed as he stepped into his room and walked over to his bed. He slammed his hand down hard onto the nightstand next to his bed and retracted it to leave the key resting in place.

Topher had been laying in his bed, his feet kicked up in front of him, reading his assignment for History of Magic. He sighed quietly enough for the other boy not to hear as he closed his book and sat up on the edge of his bed. "Who?" he asked, simply.

"My _brother_," Regulus answered, his lips twisted in disgust. "You see that thing? He wants me to live with him in that...apartment. That filthy, Muggle infested -" The boy cut himself off with an angry sigh and tore his robes from his shoulders. He flung them around his hands, trying to get lose from the fabric, then slammed them heavily onto his bed. "Disgusting."

"He's asked you before," Topher offered dryly.

"Yeah, but this time, he gave me that thing," Regulus answered, pointing towards the key and grimacing at it as though the tiny, cut metal was personally offensive. He closed his eyes and put his hand to his forehead, feeling a headache coming on fast. "I'm gonna have a shower, it'll clear my head," he muttered.

Regulus didn't even notice that the key was missing when he later returned to the room.

* * *

The harsh, sulfuric odor was the first signal that something was wrong. The entire sixth year Potion's class was staring in the same direction, right at Regulus and Topher. Most of the students were attempting to play down the situation, keeping all comments to themselves. There were three Gryffindors, however, who were making exaggerated gagging noises; one even went so far as to swoon and pretend he was going to faint from the smell.

Topher was hovering over the Potions book, reading off the steps aloud and asking Regulus if he followed each one correctly. "Did you stir it seven times?" he asked, frantic at the odor, which was only growing more potent.

"Yes!" Regulus answered, his hands held tightly onto the edge of the table, his eyes staring down into the steaming cauldron.

"And the moonstone? You added three t-"

"The what?"

The two boys exchanged an understanding look and both became nervous at the realization. Topher scanned the table and lifted the packet of powdered moonstone, which was supposed to have been added to their potion three steps back. Regulus bit down hard on his bottom lip and took the package from his friend.

"There's no use now, boys." Professor Slughorn walked up behind the two Slytherins and pointed his wand at the foul concoction, vanishing it from sight and, thankfully, ridding the air of the smell. He heaved a heavy breath and shook his head as he marked down a failing grade under both boys' names. "You'll just have to make it up next class. There's not time to do another this period." He cast a disappointed glance at Regulus and continued his walk around the room to check the other students.

"Too bad, huh? You coulda used some of that," Topher whispered to the other boy as they began picking up the scattered potion ingredients around their table.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Regulus asked, his face twisted in annoyance.

Topher gave a shrug and tilted his head. "Who couldn't use a little Draught of Peace?" He scooped up most of the ingredients and started towards the store cupboard. The boy was almost to his destination when a foot, unseen by him, obstructed his walkway.

In what seemed like mere seconds, Topher was sprawled out on the ground, his eyes locked threateningly on one of the over-dramatic Gryffindor boys. Jars of hellebore syrup and melampode lay in shattered messes around him. There was a clump of powder dusted over the boy's chest which was beginning to eat through his tie, but he paid no mind to it as he climbed to his feet and grabbed onto the other boy's collar. Topher towered over the boy, staring down into his eyes and invoking what was genuine fear in the Gryffindor's eyes.

During the fall, Regulus had drawn his wand and was now pressing the tip of it into the side of the boy's neck. The Gryffindor went rigid and his eyes sought out the protection from Professor Slughorn.

"Mister Mulciber, Mister Black, you step away, this instant," the heavy Professor ordered as he physically pried Topher's fingers from off of the other boy. "Get out. Go. You two can write me an essay on the importance of moonstone in potions to make up for the little incident today."

A snigger erupted from the now-rescued Gryffindor.

"That'll be two weeks detention, Mister Fenwick," Professor Slughorn growled.

* * *

_**Nov 12, 1977 - Dear Regulus,  
**__Of course you're ready to meet her family! Don't think such things. Your parents and I have been talking well about you and Sarah's father is most eager to meet his future son-in-law. He already has plans to take you to his estate in Andorra. You'll absolutely love it, I promise._

_You didn't tell me how classes are going. School is still important, I certainly hope you aren't slacking off. Might I suggest that you add some independent study to your tasks? Your French is, to be honest, so rusty I doubt you could have an intelligible conversation if your life depended on it. You'll do well to learn more than those foul words in Italian as well. I know Jugson was quick to teach you those in our short visit, but they won't do you any good this summer. Your table manners could also stand with some improving. I won't have a repeat of the napkin spitting incident. _

_Rodolphus and I are vacationing soon and I won't be home to receive anymore letters from you. I'll see you again on your Holiday. Until we speak again. **- Bellatrix Lestrange**_

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Feel free to review! :D –Jenna**

**Now Beta'd by magic139 from the HPFF forums.**


	36. Exactly What You Wanted

**Chapter 36: Exactly What You Wanted**

**.**

The last day in November was marked in celebration as Sarah's eighteenth birthday. The girl had managed to smuggle in two large bottles of elf-made, strawberry wine from an unsanctioned Hogsmeade trip. Rather than celebrate with a small party, Sarah opted for a little alone time with Regulus. The two cuddled up on the girl's bed, both having had more than their fill of the wine, talking about something that neither of them would care to remember in the morning.

"I...I think you're gonna make a good husband. I really do," Sarah insisted for the third time.

Regulus snorted a laugh and wrapped his arms around Sarah's waist, pulling her closer against him. "I think...that you're del-dul...deluse- Damn it." He rubbed his fingers over his eyes and shook his head. "I think you're wrong," he whispered.

Sarah rolled her eyes at the boy and pushed her fingers into his hair, twisting the strands around her fingers. She gave them a small tug and widened her eyes at the pleasured sound which came from Regulus. "What was that?" she laughed out, shifting so that she could look down at the boy's face.

"What?" Regulus settled himself back on the pillow and closed his eyes, trying to calm the dizzy feeling in his head.

Sarah didn't answer, she just pulled harder on the boy's hair and smiled when he made the same sound. "You like that, don't you?" she teased, running her hand over the boy's chest and pushing it up between his robes and shirt. She pushed the robes back off his shoulder and lowered her lips to his neck, immediately causing Regulus to push her away.

"Stop it," Regulus laughed out, trying to roll over. "I dun wanna... Too drunk." He waved his hand at the girl and whined loudly when she continued to pull his robes off his body. "Fine, you can have them," the boy said with a scowl as she tossed his robes onto the floor.

Things got a bit blurry, there was more hair pulling and kissing and Regulus found himself eagerly going along with it, despite his initial insistence that he was too drunk to snog Sarah. The next moment he could clearly focus on was the girl's horror stricken face as she stared down at his bare left arm. Regulus scurried to pull his shirt back on, but Sarah pushed it away, her soft brown eyes never leaving the grey markings on Regulus' skin.

"Th-this is some kind of joke, right?" Sarah whispered, her voice broken and scared.

Regulus was silent.

"I thought it was a rumor; you said it was a rumor," the girl insisted, turning her eyes to lock onto Regulus'. Tears graced the bottom of her lids and the corners of her mouth turned down into a frown. "I-I...I'm engaged to a Death Eater," she whispered after yet another long silence.

"Not technically," he answered, pulling his arm back and flipping the Dark Mark from her view.

"You're not technically a Death Eater?" she asked in confusion.

"We're not technically engaged."

"You bastard!" Sarah screamed, throwing her fists into the boy's chest. She unleashed a frenzied and half sobbed assault on Regulus, slapping his face, pounding her hands against his chest, squirming and shrieking as he merely held her tightly in his arms and whispered an apology over and over. It was a good ten minutes before she managed to wear herself out and collapsed against the boy with tears streaking down her face. She sniffled loudly and dragged the side of her hand across her nose, not caring in the slightest if it was disgusting. She was choking on her own sobs and shaking in Regulus' arms. "How could you lie to me? You're supposed to love me."

"I never said I loved you, Sarah," Regulus whispered. He hadn't meant to say it, but he didn't regret his choice either. Even the broken look in Sarah's eyes wasn't enough to make him take it back. "I'm going to marry you. I've already said I'd marry you, but love...that isn't...that's..." He shook his head and wrapped his arms tighter around the blonde. He pushed her head down against his chest; he couldn't stand the way she was looking at him. "Maybe one day," he lied.

"You're a De-"

"I'm doing what's right, Sarah," Regulus snapped. "I'm fighting so that one day...so that one day we can live in a pure world. We can..." He sighed. Anything he could have said would simply be the mindless recitation of facts and meaningless ideals. Sarah was in pain and it wasn't the time. Even in his drunken state, he could see that. "I'm doing what needs to be done. You can either get behind that or..." There was no _or_. _Or_ was death for anyone and he might not ever see himself loving Sarah, but he certainly didn't want the girl dead.

"Prove it to me," Sarah whispered.

Regulus pushed the girl away from his chest and stared at her in confusion. "I don't...I don't know what you mean. Prove what?"

"Prove that you're worth it. Prove that you might love me one day," she answered. When she was met with another confused stare, Sarah lifted herself to sit upright in front of Regulus. She swept her jumper from over her head and tossed it behind her with a casual flick of the wrist. One of her hands laid over his and guided it onto her shirt. She led his fingers to brush over the buttons and stared into his eyes.

Regulus swallowed hard. It was more than clear what Sarah wanted from him. He fingered over the buttons of her shirt and let it hang open, taking a slow breath before pushing it back over the girl's shoulders and letting it fall to the bed below her. He smoothed his hands over her shoulders and down her sides, taking his time with things.

Sarah wasn't satisfied with his slow nature. She leaned forward and pressed herself against the boy, forcing him to lay back on the bed and moving atop him. She was frantic and careless as she pulled at their clothes, resulting in both her skirt and his pants getting torn slightly. Their bodies moved together in the heat of the moment, neither of them speaking or daring to make a sound that would attract attention from anyone in the common room. Regulus kept his eyes closed tightly, refusing to look up at the girl above him. She pulled at his hair and dragged her fingernails down his chest so hard they left trails of red in their wake.

Time seemed to speed up and slow down at the same time. For Sarah, their moment was over far too quickly and for Regulus, he would have done anything to end it sooner. He quickly pulled the tangled blanket over his lower half as Sarah slid onto the bed next to him. She pushed her hair back out of her eyes, frowning at the sweat that graced her forehead. Her arm draped over Regulus' stomach and she cuddled against his side. She could see the discomfort in his face, but she wasn't going to move away unless he actually asked her to.

Regulus rubbed his hand over his face and tried to pull the other out from under Sarah, but she fought against it. He admitted defeat easily and let her continue to have his arm around her shoulders. His mouth felt dry to the point it was almost painful, his throat burning with want. He rubbed at his eyes again and let them close, but he was determined not to fall asleep.

"Was that your first time?" Sarah asked softly.

"What?" Regulus had heard her just fine, but he honestly didn't know how to answer the question. Had he ever had sex? Yes. Had he ever been on the giving end of the affection? No. He hoped she'd take his reluctance as a desire to not discuss things and drop it.

"I asked you if that was your first time," Sarah repeated, letting her fingers trail softly through the sweat on the boy's chest.

"N-yes," Regulus answered, not even sure which answer would put an end to the conversation.

"No or yes?" Sarah's voice was sharp and biting as she had caught his hesitation. "Regulus Black, you look at me. I asked you a question. It isn't even a hard one, just tell me. Was that the first time you had sex?" She huffed through her nose and put her hand on Regulus' cheek, forcing him to look at her. "You can tell me."

Regulus bit down on his bottom lip and felt it crack under his teeth. Despite her best effort, he wouldn't meet her gaze, choosing instead to focus on her hair, her lips or her hand. He reached up and linked his fingers into hers, then pulled her hand to his lips. "No it wasn't," he whispered, his lips moving right against the back of her hand. "Can we just drop it, okay?"

"Eliza-"

"I said drop it," he snapped, his tone more cold and angry than he had intended. He pushed against Sarah's body, forcing her away from him, and sat up in the bed. He had to shove off her hands several times in his effort to pull back on his pants and shirt. He stood next to the bed, ignoring the hurt look on her face as he buttoned up his shirt and searched the floor for his emerald tie.

"Regulus, don't leave," Sarah pleaded as she wrapped the sheet around herself and climbed off the bed. "Please? I'll drop it, I will, just stay here." She laid her hand on the boy's chest and stared down into his eyes. "Stay?"

Regulus put his hands on Sarah's shoulders and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "No," he whispered back before stuffing his feet down into his shoes and hurrying out of the Ravenclaw tower.

The Slytherin walked quietly through the halls, doing his best not to wake any of the portraits. It was after hours and the last thing he wanted was to be stopped by a Prefect or worse. As he neared the dungeons, the boy's fear was manifested in the form of the over confident Head Boy, James Potter.

The messy haired Gryffindor spotted Regulus long before the reverse. He already had half of a detention slip written out before he fully realized that the other boy was Regulus. "Oh," the Head Boy whispered with a frown. He wadded up the slip and stuffed it down into his robe pocket. "I didn't...I mean, how are you?" James asked. His discomfort was radiating like a bad odor and he kept twisting his hands around and shifting his weight between feet.

Regulus sighed and started to open his mouth to speak, planning to say something snide and cruel, however he just didn't have the energy to bother. "Do I have detention, Potter?" he sighed.

"No," James answered, shaking his head. "Just...just get to your common room." He stared at the floor and waited for the boy to pass by him before resolving to speak again. "He misses you," he called out. His hand slipped over his wand in his pocket, bracing himself for a potentially volatile outburst; the kind he was used to from dealing with Sirius.

Regulus stopped in his tracks and closed his eyes. He took a few slow breaths, trying to keep himself from snapping at the older boy. He turned back, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. "It isn't your business," he said, slowly.

"It is my business," James argued. "Sirius is my brother too. Maybe not by blood, but where it counts. If he's hurting, then it is my business."

The young Slytherin let his eyes close as he contemplated his next move. He slipped his hand over his wand and slowly raised it, only to be mirrored by the bespectacled boy doing the same. "You're going to fight me?" he asked, cringing at his own likeness to his brother's arrogance.

"No, but if you start it, I'll defend myself." James stared at the tip of the younger boy's wand and let his hazel eyes travel up to meet the grey of Regulus'. "He just wants to help you. Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

Regulus shook his head and let his wand arm fall heavily to his side. He was amused that the other boy did not lower his wand as well. A quiet laugh built in the boy's throat as he turned his back on his brother's so-called brother. His replacement.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Wow, so just...I really don't have anything to say about that. Sarah knows, things are dicey in bed and Regulus seems to be betrothed. I felt the need to put a little James in here. Not even sure why, he just felt right in this situation. Remus will be popping up again in the story, but don't hold out hope for more James. I haven't decided there. Let me know what you think. Thanks a tons. :D –Jenna**


	37. How it all Ended

**Chapter 37: How it all Ended **

**.**

"You've been acting really weird, Topher."

Regulus had finally had enough. His best friend had been off about something for the last few weeks and he was determined to find out what. He first noticed something was odd the night he had gotten back from his tryst with Sarah. His fifteen minute rant about _the nerve of James Potter_ had been met with no more than a grunt and a shrug from the usually helpful Topher. After that, he watched as his best friend steadily withdrew from life. He stopped studying, stopped setting times for Quidditch practice, even resigned his Captaincy after two weeks. He could barely keep up his end of a conversation and every time Regulus met the boy's eyes, he saw guilt.

"Are you listening to me?" Regulus asked, quietly as he dropped down onto the end of Topher's bed and pushed aside the boy's half filled trunk.

It was morning. The students were set to leave for their Holiday in a little under an hour and Topher had been making a sad attempt at packing. He glanced at his friend from the tops of his eyes and haphazardly tossed a shirt into the trunk. "Yeah, I'm listening," he muttered as he picked up another shirt and stared down at it with contemplation.

"Are you going to tell me what your deal is? Why are you acting so...weird?" Regulus pushed.

Topher's shoulders raised in a slight shrug and the boy dropped his shirt down onto the bed next him. "I don't know how to tell you," he whispered. He stared down at the floor and started pulling on a loose string at the end of his jumper sleeve.

"Just tell me." Regulus twisted his lips, annoyed with the boy. "Whatever it is, just tell me. We made a promise, remember? No more secrets, no more lies. I've kept up my end, and you...you aren't. You're hiding something, I can tell, okay? Whatever the hell it is, just tell me."

Topher let out a long, ragged breath and turned his head towards Regulus. He met the boy's eyes briefly before turning away again. "Do you know who Theodore Gibbon is?" he asked. He didn't even bother to wait for an answer, he knew very well that the man was a Death Eater and Regulus knew who he was. "He's started arrangements with Elizabeth's father. He wants to marry her when she leaves school."

A shocked and disgusted look flashed across Regulus' face as he heard this. "Gibbon? Are you serious? He's like...thirty something," he said with a violent shudder. "That's really awful, I'm sorry. You should've said something sooner." After a long silence, he continued. "You'll meet someone else."

"I'm not leaving her," Topher snapped, facing Regulus once again. "She isn't marrying that sicko. We...we're leaving. Elizabeth and I, we're leaving. That's what's bothering me, that's what I've been trying to tell you. When you come back from Holiday, I won't be."

"What do you mean by leaving?"

"We're leaving. When we get off the train, we have other arrangements. We're going to leave the city, the...the country. We aren't coming back either." Topher's entire body was shaking as he spoke. His hand stuffed down into his pocket and came back out with his fist closed around something small.

"What about your future?" Regulus asked, his jaw tight with upset. "You can't just walk out on everything. You can't just..." He couldn't continue.

"My future? As what? A Death Eater, no, no. That life was never right for me. You can't sit there and pretend like for one second you believed I would make the same stupid choice as you did," Topher snarled as he climbed to his feet and grabbed the boy's left arm. He flipped it over and pushed back Regulus' sleeve, revealing the boy's mark. "This is wrong." He shook his head slowly and closed his eyes. "You once told me that this was a war and I had to pick a side, well I've done it. I won't follow you, I won't serve that...that..."

Regulus pulled out of his friend's grip and turned his face away. "You're gonna die," he whispered. It wasn't a threat, just a simple statement.

"We're all gonna die! One day, we'll all be six feet under and I'd rather go to an early grave without that _thing_ on my arm than live a long life with it." Topher took long, heavy breaths through his nose and grabbed Regulus' hand into his own. Slowly, he pried the boy's fingers open and laid a small, silver key onto his palm. "I can't sit here and watch you go down anymore."

"What the hell is this?" Regulus asked, waving the key at the other boy.

Topher didn't answer, he didn't need to. He watched as the boy turned the metal over and over in his hand until realization hit him. "This is my brother's?" Regulus asked, looking back up at his friend. "You want me to run off, like you? Like him? Become some blood traitor and abandon my family, I don't think so." He shook his head wildly and grabbed the handle on his trunk. "This is all insane. You'll see that in a few days and you'll come to your senses. We can figure this out after break."

"I'm not coming back, Regulus," Topher insisted.

"Yes! You are." Regulus clenched his fist tightly around the key, the sharp points digging into his hand and making it pulse. "You wouldn't do that. You...you _can't_ do that." He kept his eyes to the floor as he dragged his trunk behind him and walked away from Topher.

* * *

The incessant chatter did not cease for a single moment inside the tiny train compartment. Sarah and Della discussed, in agonizing detail, every moment of the latter girl's first date with some Hufflepuff. Regulus was relieved when the date talk died down, only to be once again subjected to the never-ending prattle about the proper way to secure a second date. By the time the train reached the station, Regulus knew far more than he'd have ever liked to about the fine art that was eyeliner application and exactly where to draw the line on developing ab muscles; apparently, it _was_ possible for a guy to be too muscly.

The Slytherin's head was just about to smash against the window in his drowsy state, but he was saved by an unpleasant lurch which tossed him onto the floor instead. Regulus grumbled under his breath and pulled himself to his feet, ignoring the helping hand offered by his girlfriend. He muttered out a thank you and smoothed out his robes.

There was a small gathering waiting to greet Regulus as he stepped onto the platform. Bellatrix was standing with Travers and Rodolphus to one side of her and Will to the other. The woman was in conversation with Will, her hand occasionally laying on the boy's shoulder and her mad, cackled laugh staying to a quiet level. She flipped back her hair and grinned as she spotted Regulus and Sarah approaching. Will's eyes took in Sarah for a fleeting moment before his features twisted in an indistinguishable manner.

"Good to see the two of you together," Bellatrix greeted before flashing Sarah a sly smile.

Sarah smiled back at the woman and nodded, though she didn't speak.

Will took up the slack and gave Regulus a playful shove in the arm, making the still tired boy stumble over into his girlfriend. "Who is that?" he asked, nodding towards Sarah and pulling Regulus to stand back right. Before the other boy had a chance to answer, he was off the subject. "Where's my brother? I told him I'd be meeting him here." He let his eyes wander around the platform, searching each face for Topher. When he was met with failure, he grunted and frowned. "I'm gonna go find him. I'll see you at the party, right?" he asked, smiling back at Regulus. "You can tell me about..._this_," he added, pointing to Sarah.

Before Sarah had a chance to voice her disapproval with being called _this_, Will was out of sight in search for his brother. "He's kind of a jerk," the girl hissed, taking Regulus' hand possessively.

"Yeah, he really is," Regulus answered with no hesitation. "More than a jerk, but yeah." He pulled his hand free and threw a grimace towards Travers before smiling at his cousin's husband. "Have a nice trip?" he asked, casually.

A huge smile broke across Rodolphus Lestrange's round face. He gave a hearty laugh and glanced at his wife. "It was productive," he answered, pulling the woman into his arms and wrapping them around her. Bellatrix pushed against the man and slid herself away from him, hissing a quiet, "Not here." This brought another laugh from the thick man and made him roll his eyes. "We should get going, yes?" he asked, looking back towards Travers with a sneer to rival Regulus'.

"Wait," Regulus spat quickly. "I just...I need to talk to someone first." He had just spotted Topher stepping off of the train with Elizabeth. He broke away from the group and hurried over to his friend, reaching him just as Will did. The three boys all exchanged glances, with each other, each one reading differently. Regulus tilted his head and locked his eyes with Topher's. "I just wanted to find out if you'd be at the New Year's party," he said cryptically.

Topher narrowed his eyes and started to speak, but his brother beat him to it. "Of course he will be," Will answered, clapping the younger boy on the back and smirking at Elizabeth.

Another glance was exchanged between Regulus and Topher. The taller boy squeezed Elizabeth's hand and reached out, putting his hand onto Regulus' shoulder. "Goodbye, mate."

Regulus gave a small nod to his friend and raised one eyebrow. "I'll see you at the party," he said without a trace of doubt in his voice. He turned and walked back towards Bellatrix and the others, throwing one last glance back over his shoulder towards his best friend. He didn't realize it would be the last time he ever sat eyes on Topher Mulicber.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: One of the hardest things I've ever had to write. Topher is, by far, my favorite character and knowing that I'll never write him again really breaks me up inside. So anyways, leave me thoughts if you will. I hope you enjoyed it. :D –Jenna**


	38. Stains of Dishonour

**Chapter 38: Stains of Dishonour**

**.**

Regulus Black sat on his large, emerald covered bed, his feet kicked up in front of him. Distantly, he could hear the low music of holiday songs; his parents over eager attempt at making their home more festive for company. It was disgusting to Regulus the way his mother had gone full force in decorating their home and ordering Kreacher to prepare holiday specific meals all for the sake of impressing his future in laws.

The boy mindlessly stared down at a silver key, the one his brother had given him, the one that had been thrown aside and later retrieved by Topher. Regulus' fingers traced along the edge of it, letting the metal teeth graze lightly across his skin. His brother's words played over and over in his mind; reminding him of the offer, the promise. On his weaker days, Regulus often wondered what it would be like to take the chance, to move in with Sirius after school.

"Regulus!"

The young boy scrambled to attention at the sharp tone of his mother's voice. His hand shot under his pillow, stashing away the key before the woman appeared in his doorway.

"Why aren't you in your dress robes yet?" Walburga hissed with a threatening undertone to her words.

"I was just about to change," Regulus lied, getting to his feet. "I don't know why we have to go through all of this." He pulled out the top most set of dress robes and held them up to his mother questioningly. "If our family is so much better than other families, shouldn't they be the ones throwing some stupid Christmas dinner to impress us?"

Walburga pursed her painted lips and slowly let out a sigh. "You don't become the best family, or stay the best in our case, by sitting around and letting others take the glory." She snatched the robes from her son's hands and held them full out to see. "Look, you see this?" the woman asked as she pointed to a tiny, almost undetectable stain on the collar of the robes.

Regulus leaned forward slightly, his eyes narrowing to see the blemish, and nodded at his mother.

"Nearly impossible to see, isn't it?" Walburga prodded. When her son nodded once again, the woman scowled heavily. "Does that mean it isn't there?" she snapped, her voice running cold and sending a shiver down Regulus' spine.

"No ma'am," Regulus answered in a whisper.

"Stains run deep," the woman continued, her eyes boring into the fabric as she spoke. "You can scrub until your fingers bleed, but it won't matter. Once there's a stain, it's always there."

"Y-you could just use _Scourgify_," the boy suggested lamely.

Walburga's eyes slowly turned her son, the identical greys holding each other. "Appearances only," she breathed. "You can fix the coloring, you can blind the eye to the blemish, but that doesn't change the fact that it was there. The fabric is forever tarnished by the disgrace of a stain."

Regulus swallowed hard and lowered his head. It was more than clear that his mother wasn't talking about the dress robes any longer. "I'll find a new set to wear," he whispered before turning back to his drawers in search of another pair of dress robes.

"No," Walburga snapped. "Wear these; they suit you fine." The woman threw the heavy fabric at her son, pointed her nose into the air and swept from the room without a glance back.

Soon, Regulus was caught up in the feigned holiday spirit, smiling and making small talk with the dinner guests. It was a small gathering. Sarah and her parents, along with Bellatrix and Rodolphus, joined the usual Black trio for a lavish dinner. After the meal, the adults retired into the living room to sip brandy and talk about matters far too important for young ears; namely the soon to be nuptials.

Sarah slipped her hand into Regulus' and frowned when he promptly pulled it away. "Don't be an ass," she muttered, rolling her eyes as she glanced around cautiously. "There's wine left from dinner," she suggested, pointing towards the forgotten bottle.

With a simple nod, Regulus grabbed up the wine and led Sarah upstairs to his bedroom. He left the door propped open, just in case anyone cared to check on them, then dropped down onto the edge of his bed. He handed the bottle over to his blonde companion and watched her pry off the cork. She giggled slightly as she tipped up the drink and slid onto the bed next to Regulus.

"Here," she whispered, holding the bottle out for Regulus.

"Actually, I don't feel so well," Regulus admitted, waving off the bottle.

"Don't lie to me," Sarah whispered, her small eyes narrowing at the boy. She tipped up the bottle one more time before pressing it into Regulus' hand. "You know you need it for this."

"There isn't going to be a _this_," Regulus snapped, getting to his feet. He placed the bottle onto his desk and turned away from Sarah's hateful gaze. "Your parents would have a fit if they caught us," he added.

Sarah snorted indignantly and rolled her eyes. "You're a dreadful liar, Regulus Black," she said in a calm voice as she stepped up behind the boy. Her hands smoothed flat over his back and rubbed at his tense shoulders. She hooked her fingers into his dress robes and pulled them back from his shoulders, letting the fabric fall heavily to the floor. "Why don't you just relax?"

Regulus spun around and took a step back from Sarah. "I said I didn't feel well, now just drop it."

The girl tightened her lips and took a step into Regulus, forcing him to back himself against the wall. "This isn't how it's supposed to be!" she yelled, pointing her finger in his chest. "We're getting married. I love you and you're supposed to love me too!" She twisted her hands into the boy's shirt and tugged at it, her face staying steady and fighting tears. "I'm...I'm gorgeous. I am! I am fucking gorgeous and you are the envy of half the damn school to be marrying me!"

"I never said you weren't," Regulus hissed, trying to pry the girl's fingers off of his shirt. "This isn't about you. It's about my person problems. Mine. Me," he argued, finally getting himself free of her steel grip. "I can't do this. I can't give you what you want."

"You could try!" Sarah stamped her foot and flung her hands angrily to her sides, her fists clenched in anger and her nails digging into her palms. "You don't even try. It's always _stay out of my personal space_ right away."

"That isn't true." Regulus pushed Sarah back away from himself in desperate need of some air. "I've tried. I've had _sex_ with you for crying out loud. Just because I can't do it whenever you want, you're gonna act like this?"

"Act like this!" Sarah shouted, slamming her palm into the door and forcing it closed. "I'm acting like a girl who wants some damn love from her boyfriend, nay, her soon to be fiancé and you're acting like I've asked for something difficult."

"Maybe it is difficult," Regulus sneered. "Not everyone can be a total whore like you are."

Sarah's hand popped into the side of Regulus' face so hard, she recoiled in pain from it. Regulus put his hand to his cheek and narrowed his eyes, though he didn't say anything. The girl stared back into his cold, grey eyes, fear written all over her face. She cradled her hand and licked her lips, taking a small step back from Regulus. "What are you gonna do?" she asked, her voice breaking at the end.

"What am I gonna do?" Regulus repeated slowly, letting his hand drop from his face. He breathed heavily for a moment, waiting for the sting to fade so he could think clearly.

"I didn't mean to," she whispered, taking another step back from the boy.

Regulus reached out and grabbed onto Sarah's arm, then pulled her right against himself. He laid his free hand on the girl's cheek and lifted onto his toes, then met her lips with his own. The kiss was quick and he was stepping away before she could even register what was happening.

"What was that for?" she asked with a small shudder.

"I...I shouldn't have called you a whore," Regulus whispered before walking back over to his bed and climbing onto it. He sat on his knees and patted the spot next to himself to call Sarah over. "Don't ever hit me again," he whispered as the girl lowered herself into the place he desired. "Consider that your one free pass."

Sarah's eyes opened wide and she scooted back on the bed a bit. "And if it happens again?" she asked, the shake starting to fade from her voice.

"If it happens again..." Regulus trailed off, running through the possible threats in his mind. "Just make sure it doesn't," he finished, ducking his head and turning towards the floor.

The two sat in silence a moment before Regulus felt Sarah's thin fingers brush over his lower arm. He fought the desire to pull away from her and opened his hand in offering. The girl eagerly tangled her fingers into his and squeezed his hand.

"Did Elizabeth ever hit you?" Sarah whispered tentatively.

"No. She didn't," Regulus answered. "She was terrified of me."

"I'm scared of you too," Sarah blurted out. "I mean...I don't think you're gonna kill me or abuse me or...treat me like crap, but I'm scared of your temper. I'm scared that if I ever make you too mad you could..."

"Maybe it's best that you just don't make me mad," Regulus offered up in a blunt tone. "I don't _want_ to lose my temper at you, Sarah, but I will. I always do. That's what I do, I lose my temper and things go badly." He squeezed the girl's hand again and stared at the carpet intently. "I'm gonna make a shitty husband," he muttered.

"This again?" Sarah groaned and pulled her hand free, then used it to tuck her long curls back behind her ears. "It's gonna be fine. We'll figure it out together."

"How can you say it's gonna be fine? You're marrying a bloke who doesn't even wanna have sex with you." Regulus let out a self-deprecating laugh and dragged his fingers back through his hair, pulling roughly at the strands.

"You...you don't _want_ to have sex with me?" the girl questioned, pulling back to Regulus fully. "I understand that you have the space issues, but you don't _want_ to do it? Did you not enjoy it?" she asked, her tone full of mixed anger and wounded pride.

"It was fine," Regulus muttered. "You misunderstood me."

"I did not," Sarah spat defensively. "You didn't like it. I can't believe this. What? Was I not as great as _Elizabeth_?" she hissed.

"I already told you, I didn't sleep with her," Regulus growled.

"You're a liar!"

"I'm a dreadful liar, remember?" Regulus prompted, leaning towards Sarah and locking their eyes together. "So tell me, Sarah, my future wife, the all knowing, am I lying now?" He gritted his teeth together and repeated, "I did _not_ have sex with Elizabeth."

"If it wasn't her, then who?" Sarah asked, staring back at Regulus with defiant eyes.

"I'm not answering that," Regulus laughed as he backed away.

"A marriage is supposed to be built on truth and trust," the girl argued. "I can handle the fact that you're a damned murder but you don't think I can hear who you've shagged?" she screamed, her patience at the end of its limit.

Regulus watched Sarah a moment, taking in her determined, tear brimmed eyes. "You want honesty? Fine. How's this for honesty?" He took a deep breath and braced himself for what was to come. "I slept with Anthony."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Yes...very long wait and I am truly sorry. I took a break, then I lost the feel for the story, but now I'm back on it and hopefully things will start flowing quicker around here. Thank you for reading and sticking to the story despite that long ass wait. Again, sorry! Let me know what you thought of the chapter. Yeah? Any predictions? :D –Jenna**


	39. Lost & Found

**Chapter 39: Lost & Found**

**.**

Regulus had never seen such shock and horror in the eyes of another person until he confessed himself to Sarah. He was certain that given enough time, the girl would calm herself, but that did not happen. Instead, he found himself on the receiving end of screaming that could rival his mother's. The boy covered his ears to tune out the foul mouthed insults from his soon-to-be-wife, his eyes closing tight in an attempt to block out the world around him. There was a ringing in his ears that grew louder by the moment and a sharp pain in his lip that he barely realized was caused by his own teeth.

A firm hand closed over Regulus' shoulder and it was only then he opened his eyes and took in the room once more. Sarah's yelling had called around both their parents, Bellatrix and Rodolphus. The adults scattered through the room, trying to make sense of what was going on. Rodolphus pulled Regulus to stand up and hurriedly pushed him from the bedroom. The boy stumbled over his own feet as he was led to the drawing room and unceremoniously shoved inside.

Regulus wanted to speak, but he couldn't manage to arrange his thoughts into a comprehensible sentence. He could still hear shouting from down the hall, but now it took the voice of his own father, berating the young girl for such an outburst in his home. Regulus' blood ran cold as all sound ceased. He knew what was happening; he knew that Sarah was explaining herself.

Moments later, a figure burst into the room with himself and Rodolphus, confirming the boy's thoughts. "Are you out of your damned mind?" Bellatrix hissed, advancing on the boy. "Answer me!" her wand tip dug harshly into the boy's chest as her eyes bore down into his. "Do you realize the mistake you've made? What it'll take to fix this!"

Regulus swallowed hard and let his eyes drop onto his cousin's wand. "I've done nothing wrong. She asked me a question and I an-" He stopped his own words when the woman's wand twisted in his shirt. "What are you gonna do? _Kill me_?" he cried out, stepping forward and knocking Bellatrix's hand away. "Go on then. It would be better than this."

"There are so many things worse than death," Bellatrix snarled as she slashed her wand through the air and sent Regulus flying back into a wardrobe. "Would you like an example?" she asked, her manic laugh erupting as she raised her wand and smiled eerily down at the boy. The smile on the woman's face seemed to freeze in place, her eyes moving from Regulus crumpled form to the knocked open door on the wardrobe.

Regulus took full advantage of his cousin's distraction and crawled across the floor towards the doorway. He didn't glance back; he knew what Bellatrix was staring at; he knew that a Boggart resided in his mother's wardrobe and he wasn't going to risk it.

He could hear a whispered, "M-my Lord?" from his cousin as he pulled himself into the hallway and stood up. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rodolphus fall onto his knees, apparently confused as well as to what they were seeing. Regulus dragged one hand back through his hair and started towards his bedroom, halting at the sound of mumbled voices. He peeked around the corner and watched as his mother bent over the still, fallen form of Sarah's mother and pointed her wand at the woman's head.

"Should I change it all or just the last few minutes?" Walburga asked, glancing up at her husband. Her eyes caught sight of her son and she jumped up, charging straight for him. "Get in here and tell us everything!" the woman shrieked, chasing after her son as he turned and bolted down the staircase. "Regulus Arcturus Black, get in here!"

Regulus rushed himself down the stairs and grabbed hold of the door handle, wrenching it open and gritting his teeth as a gust of frigid wind caught his face. The boy ignored his mother continued shrieks as he stepped out into the chill of the night and started running. He didn't care where he was going. It didn't matter one bit in his mind.

The frozen night air stung at the boy's skin through his light shirt, making him grow even angrier at Sarah having rid him of his heavy and warm dress robes. The snow that had lined the ground over the past few days had spent the better part of the day melting and the wet remains splashed up onto Regulus' legs as he tore through the streets of London. The boy couldn't contain his shivering, his teeth clanging together so violently it sent waves of pain through his skull. All he could think of was getting as far away from his parents, his cousin and Sarah as was possible.

The dim lights of his housing district faded in the distance as he turned into smaller and less traveled alley ways. Regulus had never been into London alone; only guided by his parents and only on the utmost of important occasions. The heavy scent of rotting garbage and human filth washed over the boy as he rounded into another alley and ceased running. He bit back the urge to become sick at the smell and slowly took a step back from the dim pathway.

The sound of shifting bodies and footsteps drowned out the humming sound from the near-by street lamp as the bulb neared its life's end. The light flickered and popped, casting a near darkness over the alley way. Regulus felt his heart race with panic as a sliver of moonlight from the waning crescent shone upon three large figures. The bodies advanced on the young boy and he turned sharply to escape them, only to be knocked back down onto the ground by a fourth large frame.

Regulus hissed in pain as he hit the ground hard; the wet of the ground seeped into his trousers and numbed his lower body into a tingling and dull sensation. He rolled onto his hands and pushed himself to his feet to find that he was now surrounded by the four large men.

"Wha' we got 'ere?" came the gravelly voice of the largest. The man reached out, his gloved hand brushing against Regulus' shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Regulus snapped, trying to take a step back. He collided hard with the man behind him and felt two hands fall heavily onto his shoulders, holding him in place. "Let go of me, you son of a bitch! Or I'll kill you," he growled, patting at his pockets for his wand. Realization crashed over the boy as he thought back to his room where his wand lay perched atop his desk. He shuddered with defeat and put on a stern face to hold his threat.

"You 'ear that? 'Es gon _kill_ _us_, Flint," one of the men to Regulus' side laughed out. "Little thing like you? Gon kill _us_?" the man continued, this time directing his words at Regulus. He leaned towards the boy, bringing his face so close Regulus could make out a large scar across his eye and his mouthful of mangled, chipped teeth. "Now, 'ows you gon go 'bout killin' us, boy?"

Regulus swallowed hard and stared into the man's cold eyes, wandering how far he would get if he tied to physically assault any of the men. He curled his frozen hands into fists and took a deep breath, readying himself. A flash of green light caused him to cry out with shock and stumbled backwards into the man holding his shoulders. He and the man both tripped to the ground and Regulus chocked in disgust as the melted snow, laced with the ground's filth, splashed up onto his face.

Another flash of green and Regulus clambered off the ground, knowing exactly what was causing it. The sound of sharp heels pounded against the ground as a slim form stepped into view and once more raised its wand to one of the men. Bellatrix's eyes flashed with glee as she took down Regulus third attacker with no more than a simple thought.

The man on the ground grabbed a hold of Regulus' leg, earning himself a sharp kick in the shoulder from the young boy. "Dirty Muggle!" the boy shouted, rearing his foot back to strike again.

"Down," Bellatrix snapped, closing her fingers around Regulus' upper arm and pulling him back. She pointed her wand at the shocked man and grinned before a fourth burst of green came soaring from her wand tip. "You," she hissed, rounding herself on Regulus and tipping her head, "are in so much trouble." She threw one last sneer towards the fallen men and spat upon the nearest one before grabbing Regulus' arm and Disapparating with him.

Regulus gasped for breath and retched onto the walkway the moment he and Bellatrix hit ground. He clutched at his stomach and shivered violently as his sickness once again threatened to overtake him.

"Lovely," Bellatrix said with sarcasm as she flipped back her hair and stared at the sick boy with her nose wrinkled. "Get your ass in the house," she ordered, waiting for Regulus to go first before trailing him back inside of number 12 Grimmauld Place.

"You stink of Muggle," Walburga hissed the moment her son stepped into the house. "And you're covered in filth!" She snapped her fingers and pointed up the staircase. "Get yourself clean."

Regulus nodded meekly and slumped up the staircase, ignoring his mother insistence that he touch nothing on his way to the bathroom. The hot water stung Regulus frozen skin, making him shudder under the stream and catch himself on the tiled wall. He washed out his mouth over and over, unable to rid his tongue of his own foul shame. The smell of the alley way seemed to cling to his skin, even after scrubbing himself to the near point of drawing blood.

He stayed under the water until he felt that his legs could no longer hold his weight. He wrapped a towel around his body and dripped all the way to his bedroom where he pulled on some night clothes over his still soaked body. The boy fell back onto his bed and flinched at the sound of someone pushing his door open. He sat up to see Rodolphus step into his room wearing a frown.

"Where's Bella?" Regulus asked weakly as he laid back down on his pillow and stared blankly at the wall across from him.

"She isn't here," Rodolphus answered, giving Regulus a look of minor pity.

"Thought she was going to punish me," the boy offered quietly.

Rodolphus ignored the boy's words and rubbed the back of his neck. "If you're wondering about the girl and her pa-"

"I don't care," Regulus interrupted. "I don't give a damn what happened to them."

"You better care!" Walburga's shriek broke into the room, making Regulus cringe. "Do you have any idea how delicate a process memory altering is?" the woman continued, advancing towards her son. "It isn't just a simple point and say charm, Regulus. It's difficult and I did it to fix your stupid mistake!" The woman clenched her fingers around the sides of her robes and glared down at her uncaring son. "You deserve every bit of what's coming to you," she spat, turning sharply and marching from the room. The distant sound of a slamming door made certain that the woman had retreated to her room.

"What's coming to me?" Regulus asked of Rodolphus as he sat up and stared across at the portly man. "You said that Bella wasn't here."

"She isn't," Rodolphus answered. "She...she went to talk to our Lord."

Regulus' eyes flashed with fear and he bit hard on his bottom lip, though his felt no relief from tried and true method of comforting himself. Rodolphus dropped his gaze to the carpet and turned from the room slowly, not looking back at the boy. Regulus swallowed hard as Kreacher's tiny body slipped past Rodolphus and closed the door.

"Kreacher brought you some tea, Master Regulus," the house-elf said softly as he laid the cup on Regulus bedside table. "Is there anything else Kreacher can bring?" he asked, turning his large eyes to the boy.

Regulus glanced over at the tea and rubbed his right hand over his left arm, brushing his palm over his Dark Mark as it began to tingle and darken. "Do...do you think you could just stay here for a little bit?" he asked the creature, dropping his eyes to his left forearm. He closed his eyes tightly as he felt his Mark begin to grow warm and the tingling intensify.

"Yes, Sir," Kreacher answered dutifully, taking up a place right next to the bed.

The boy's eyes took in his faithful house-elf for an instant before blinding pain washed over his body. He gritted his teeth together tightly and screamed out through them; his back arched and he flung himself back onto the bed, just barely missing from slamming his head against the headboard. His fingers dug into the blankets on each side of himself, the fabric twisting tightly between his digits. His feet scraped down the bed over and over, rubbing his heels raw as he continued his failing effort not to scream. The last thing he registered was a set of bony fingers closing around his hand as he blacked out into unconsciousness.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: I never know what to write in these things after harsh chapters. Sorry? Um...so leave me some thought, maybe? I'd like to know what you think so far. Next chapter is the New Years Eve party where we get to meet up with Will again and he has a surprise. Also, more about what's happened to Topher. :D –Jenna**


	40. The Reality of Being a Husband

**Chapter 40: The Reality of Being a Husband**

**.**

Regulus moved silently through the crowd of party guests at Lestrange Manor. The home was filled with over pompous, rich, well-connected adults, all gorging themselves on tiny hors-d'œuvre and champagne. The sound of arrogant laughter and boisterous talk echoed off every corner of the large ball room, making Regulus roll his eyes every time he passed by another conversation in which one of the members was merely feigning interest until it was their turn to brag.

The young boy was doing his best to avoid coming into contact with anyone as he headed for the back door of the ball room. The hand shaking and close proximity of so many people was getting to be too much for him. Almost to salvation, Regulus smiled as he spotted his exit. He only wanted a few minutes of fresh air, but even that tiny dream was soon dashed.

Bellatrix stepped herself right into Regulus' path and narrowed her eyes at the boy. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked, jutting her hip out and resting one hand on it.

"I just wanted some air," the boy answered, giving his cousin a pleading look.

The woman slowly shook her head and smirked at Regulus' discomfort. "Not right now. Sarah and her parents have just arrived." She pointed her finger behind the boy and gave a wave to the approaching trio. "So glad you could come," she greeted Sarah's parents with an over enthusiastic smile.

Sarah snagged a hold of Regulus' hand and pulled him the very direction he had been trying to get before. She stayed silent as she led him back through the exit and down the marble lined hallway. They continued through the house until Sarah came to a door leading outside, then she stopped and turned back to Regulus with a grin.

"I need a break from my parents. They have been hovering over me all day," she said as she pulled out a pack of cigarettes from the inner pocket of her dress robes and waved them at Regulus. "Come outside with me." She pushed open the door and headed outside without waiting for an agreement.

Regulus threw a glance back down the hallway, but didn't argue. He had, after all, wanted a bit of air himself. He followed Sarah out into the garden and took a seat on one of the stone benches lining the flower beds. "You'd better not flick that in the garden," he warned the girl. "Bella would have a fit and skin her gardener if she found it." He had been speaking metaphorically, of course, but he wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if his words were to come across literal.

Sarah grinned down at the boy and nodded as she struck a match and lit the tip of her smoke. The two were silent for a while, Sarah puffing on her comfort while Regulus stared up at the stars and enjoyed the calm.

"Regulus, are you back here? I know I saw you," came the familiar voice of Will Mulciber.

Regulus sat up right and looked back towards the house, spotting his friend and a girl he wasn't sure the identity of. He gave a small wave as Will rushed up and beamed a smile down at him. "Who's that?" Regulus asked, pointing towards the female trailing Will.

Will stepped out of the way so that Regulus could get a full view of his companion in the dim lighting coming from the moon and the closest house lights. The girl looked about five years older than Will and her dark eyes were tipped in crow's feet. She had a large nose and a smile that consumed half of her face, revealing equally large teeth. Her dark hair hung lifeless around her broad shoulders. Despite her large facial features and wide build, the girl was so thin her bones jutted out giving her a very angular shape and a frail appearance.

Regulus smiled back at the girl and gave her a small nod, wondering why she was staring at him with such a blank expression.

Will turned to the girl and pointed dramatically towards Regulus. "That is Regulus," he said, his words coming out slow and much louder than needed. When the girl nodded at him understandingly, he turned back to Regulus and rolled his eyes. "This is Nadya," he told the other boy, speaking just as loudly and catching himself. "Sorry...this is Nadya," he repeated in a normal volume.

"Is she deaf?" Sarah asked with a scoff as she flicked her end of her smoke and eyed the girl over.

"No. She isn't deaf," Will snapped, glaring at Sarah coldly. "She's from Russia. She doesn't know English yet." He passed his hand through his messy blonde hair and collected himself before turning back towards Regulus. "She's Russian," he told the boy as though it hadn't just been heard.

Regulus nodded and gave Nadya a small wave. "Okay...and _who_ is she?"

"She's my wife," Will answered with a smirk.

Sarah choked on a puff of smoke and coughed violently into her hand. "Are you kidding me?" she asked, her cough fading into a laugh. "Seriously, she's your _wife_? Will, you're wealthy as hell and attractive, you can do so much better than...that," she pointed out, indicating towards Nadya with her cigarette and making a disgusted face.

"Sarah!"

"What? He said she couldn't speak English!"

"That doesn't matter," Regulus snapped, glaring up at Sarah. He had a strong urge to say something more harsh, but the memories of his punishment sealed his lips.

Will snorted indignantly and reached towards Sarah. He thumped the cigarette from between her lips and sent it spinning onto the ground over a yard away. "At least she doesn't smoke, harpy," he growled.

"You son of a bitch," Sarah muttered as she went in search of her cigarette.

Regulus stared wide eyed at Will and glanced over Nadya in the least obvious way he could. "Not to be rude, but...I mean she is kinda...well she's not exactly..." He trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck.

Will laughed quietly and put one arm around Nadya's shoulders. "Her dad is majority owner in the Universal Booms Limited company," he said arrogantly, giving Regulus a slow nod and cutting his eyes back towards Nadya, who was mindlessly nodding as well.

"Aren't they going under?" Regulus asked, raising his eyebrow in confusion.

"_Were_ going under," Will corrected. "Her father has himself a plan, gonna bring the company back on top. Gonna out sell the Shooting Star like you wouldn't believe. You just watch, this is our year; nineteen-seventy-eight is going to be a landmark year for Universal Booms."

Sarah gave a small laugh as she rejoined the group with her salvaged cigarette in hand. "So that's how you ended up with this one?" she asked, shaking her head in pity. "Well, I guess Regulus got lucky; he gets a girl who's well connected and hot."

"Wow, you are all about the humility aren't you?" Will made a disgusted face at the blonde girl and dropped his arm from Nadia's shoulders. He slipped onto the bench beside Regulus and gave him an unreadable look.

"Regulus, I'm ready to go back in," Sarah snapped as she shoved her cigarette end back into the pack and stuffed it into her pocket.

"Then go back in," Will growled.

"I meant I was ready to go back in with my fiancé." Sarah pursed her lips at Will and narrowed her eyes, her hands twisting up in the sides of her robes.

Will glanced down at the girl's fingers and let out a quiet laugh. "Regulus, I didn't realize you were gonna marry a bint just like your mum," he teased. "Seriously, this girl is off her edge." He thumbed back towards Sarah and tipped his head casually to the side, observing her reaction.

Before Will could provoke Sarah's full anger, Regulus put his hand up and shook his head. "Just go on without me. I'll be behind you. I swear, I just wanna talk to my mate for a minute." After a moment, he quickly added, "Alone."

Sarah huffed from her nose and turned sharply on her heel, then marched back towards the house with her nose in the air, prompting Will to laugh once again. "Exactly like your mum!" he cried out.

Regulus groaned and rubbed his hands over his face. "Please don't remind me," he whined. "She wasn't like that before. When we first started hanging out, but now...she's just getting worse. I swear, in five years I'm gonna be married to my mum's doppelganger." He pulled his fingers roughly through his hair and slapped his hands back down on his lap. "Oh, good god, does that mean I'll turn into my dad?"

Both boy's laughed at the thought while Nadya watched on with a painted smile. Will gave a long sigh and stared off into the distance. "I don't much imagine you as your father," he said with a slight laugh still in his voice. "Sitting in your arm chair, sipping your brandy and puffing a cigar."

"Staring at the wall for over an hour," Regulus added. "I don't know how that man can just...sit there like that." He shook his head and let his laughter fade away. "I suppose it keeps him sane. Being married to my mum has _got_ to put a strain on a man's mind."

Will hummed an agreement and cast a glance towards his still standing wife. "I wonder what she'll be like. When she...you know, learns English and all."

"She seems pretty tame," Regulus pointed out, shrugging a bit. "Could be an act until she gets settled in. Who knows?"

"As long as I don't have to shag her, I couldn't care less, honestly," Will laughed.

"You...you don't have sex with her?" Regulus asked in a whisper. "But she's your _wife_."

"My wife, yes. That doesn't mean I have to shag her. When it comes time for children, fine. Until then, she has her bed and I have mine." Will gave a small shudder and smiled falsely at Nadya. When the girl returned the smile, Will turned back to Regulus and nodded towards her. "Would you wanna shag her?"

"Hell no," Regulus spit out much quicker than he had meant to. "Sorry..." he offered weakly. "She just isn't my type is all."

"No, I'd imagine not," Will said with a smirk.

After a lingering silence, Regulus shifted in his seat and bit his bottom lip. "Any word from Topher yet?" he asked quietly.

"Not a one," Will answered, his demeanor growing stiff and cold. "I'm not too worried. Topher's always been...a bit wild. He's gonna realize he made a mistake. You'll see, he'll be back by Easter, summer at the latest. I know it. He can't possibly be enjoying himself with that little bitch."

Regulus nodded and stared hard at the ground. He twisted his hands in his lap and chewed harder on his lip. "I didn't think he'd actually go, you know? When your dad came by...I was surprised as hell. He _said_ he was leaving. I never thought he'd go through with it."

"I blame Rosier; the bitch," Will repeated with a snarl. "How could he _want_ to be around her? How did you even stand being with her."

The shorter boy kept his answer to himself, as he never had much of a problem being around Elizabeth unless she was trying to get physical affection from him. "I don't know," he mumbled.

"Wasn't it weird? She was like...I mean isn't she like your cousin?"

"No!" Regulus cried out, loudly. "Damn it, I hate when people say that. She is _not_ my cousin. She's-she's Bella and Cissy's cousin. She is not _my_ cousin. She's like a very distant cousin through marriage."

"Still weird."

"Could be worse. You know how Pure-bloods are getting."

"Yeah, like your parents. It's no wonder they turned out a blood traitor and a wimp," Will teased, shoving his hand into Regulus' shoulder. "I'm just kidding, man. You're in the big game now." He nodded towards the boy's left arm and beamed a smile.

"Bigger game than you're in," Regulus pointed out with an arrogant tone.

Will's lips twisted into a pleased grin and he nodded in agreement. "For now," he conceded. "Which reminds me," he continued as he got to his feet and took Nadya's hand, "we have to get back in there, charm up some contributors, schmooze your cousins and Malfoy a bit."

Regulus stretched his back, but remained seated. "I'm gonna stay out here a bit longer. You go ahead." He looked up at Nadya and very slowly said, "It was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you," Nadya repeated just as slowly, her thick Russian accent distorting her words.

"She doesn't know what she said," Will told Regulus. "She just repeats people. Don't you? You just repeat people." He directed his last words at Nadya.

"Just repeat people," Nadya drawled out, proving Will's point.

Regulus sniggered into his hand and waved goodbye to Will and Nadya as they walked back to the house. "Separate beds, huh?" he muttered to himself. "I can do that." He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, savoring the solitude and calm.

After about ten minutes, a finger tapped the boy on his shoulder. He opened his eyes and frowned up at Rodolphus. The husky man tilted his head towards the house and waved his hand for Regulus to come along. "Come on, time to ring in the New Year."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: And so 1978 begins. Will has his wifey and company to care about while Topher has held to his word and run off with Elizabeth. (Those of you really big canon lovers, I didn't make up Universal Brooms -or its future.) Regulus is getting the idea that married life might be easier than he thought. Of course, we all know Sarah better than that, don't we? School will be in swing again soon and we'll return to the life of books, brothers and Barty Crouch Jr. Only, now he has to face things sans his best mate, Topher. Leave me some thoughts? I'd love to know what you think of things so far. Thanks for reading! :D –Jenna**


	41. Brothers

**Chapter 41: Brothers**

**.**

Regulus kept his hands shoved down into his pockets as he pushed his way through the center aisle of the Hogwarts Express. His eyes darted into each compartment as he passed them, a small show of hope that he would find Topher sitting in one. While he'd never admit it aloud, the boy desperately needed his best friend to be sitting on the train, ready to tell him of the quick journey he had gone on and how he was glad to be back. Regulus let out a heavy sigh as he reached the end of the train. He leaned against the back wall and hung his head with his lost hope.

Thin fingers pulled the boy from his stupor and Sarah led him up the train into a compartment. "We can sit here," she cooed as she pushed the boy into a seat and took her place next to him. The girl was careful to leave a bit of space between them, but she did reach across and take his hand. "It's just your hand. Don't give me that look."

Regulus turned away from the girl's eyes and shook his head. "No, it isn't that," he muttered, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm just...well I really thought he'd be here," he finished.

"Topher? He might still be. Who knows? Just wait until you get to school and see if he's already back," Sarah offered, giving him a quick kiss.

The boy smiled at the idea that Topher could already be back at school. "Thanks," he said as he settled back into his seat. "You're completely right. He's probably already back at the school. Or he's running late and hasn't gotten here yet." Regulus nodded at his words and let his eyes close in relief.

"What the hell do you want?" Sarah snapped, her tone cold.

Regulus opened his eyes to see who the girl had been speaking to. He barely had a chance to glimpse Evan Rosier before the boy's hands were twisted into his shirt and lifting him to his feet. "Get off of me!" Regulus yelled, pushing the other boy away.

Evan sneered at the other boy and ignored Sarah's insistence that he should go away. "Where the hell is my sister?" he growled, grabbing onto Regulus' shirt once more. He shoved the boy hard against the window and shook him violently. "I asked you a damn question!"

"I don't know!" Regulus shouted, squirming under Evan's hold. His fingers crawled towards his pocket, needing his wand, but the other boy caught sight of him.

Evan hurriedly dug into the boy's inner robe pocket and flung the wand across the compartment. "Not so tough without that thing are you?" he taunted as he knocked his fist into the side of the boy's head. "No one here to protect you now! Your little body guards are long gone and one of them stole my sister! I want to know where she is!"

"I told you I don't know!" Regulus argued, throwing his fist towards Evan. When the boy easily dodged his swipe, Regulus twisted himself out of his grip. "Get back!" he threatened.

"_Confundo_!"

Evan made a spastic movement and his eyes glazed over as Sarah's spell hit him in the back. The boy stepped away from Regulus and tried to shake off his confusion. "What am I doing here?" he asked, looking around and stumbling a bit.

Sarah put on a smug grin and pressed Regulus' wand into his right hand. The boy swapped it over to his left and pointed it at Evan. "You were just leaving," he answered.

"No, no," Evan argued. The boy gave Regulus a confused look and twisted his face in distress. "I came in here for you," he started. "But...I can't remember why." He backed up until he was out of the compartment. "I don't know what happened, but I'll be back for you," he muttered before stumbling off down the train.

Regulus let out a quiet laugh and smiled at Sarah. "Well done," he praised as he stashed his wand away and dropped back onto the seat.

"Well, I can't just sit there and do nothing while some jerk roughs up my fiancé," she replied with a sigh as she took a seat next to him.

The boy gave a hesitant nod and reached into his pocket. "That reminds me..." he trailed off. "I'm supposed to make some kinda big deal out of this and Bella wanted me to get all these flowers and I won't even go into the show my mother wanted me to put on, but I'm...I'm not that kind of guy. So, I'm just gonna say _here_." With that he thrust a small, black ring box into the girl's hand.

Sarah's eyes lit up and a small squeal built in her throat. "Is this...? Oh my! This is-is a ring," she asked, her words coming out in a giddy half-laugh. "This is a ring!" She pulled the box open and gasped at the gorgeous antique ring; heavy gold set with one large diamond, sandwiched by two small emeralds. She carefully slid the ring from its holder and examined it closely. "This is amazing."

"It was my mother's. And her mother's, and her mother's before that and so on. It's really old and apparently it's a big deal in our family, so that's what you get. For now at least. I'm supposed to buy you a real wedding ring for the...actual wedding, thing ceremony," he finished, shifting in discomfort.

"It's amazing," Sarah repeated. "I knew this day would come after the great time my parents had at your house on Christmas."

Regulus gave an indignant snort, but didn't explain himself. Apparently, his mother had created quite the modification of the night's events.

"Put it on me," the girl ordered, holding the ring out to Regulus.

"Can't you do it yourself?" he asked, raising one eyebrow at her. When Sarah showed no signs of backing down, Regulus took the ring from her and crammed it onto her finger. "There."

"I love you."

Regulus shook his head slowly and tipped his head back on the seat. "How about you close the door and latch it? I don't want any more visitors," he muttered as he shifted to get comfortable.

The boy wasn't sure how long he had been sleeping when a hand on his shoulder gave him a shake. He opened his eyes and tugged at his robes, trying to straighten out what bunched up as he slept. "What?" he mumbled groggily.

"Your brother wants you," Sarah whispered, pointing towards the doorway where Sirius stood.

Regulus blinked a few times to clear the haze from his vision. "What do you want?" he asked, his words trailing into a yawn.

"Five minutes," Sirius answered. "Alone," he added, staring down at Sarah.

The girl clenched her jaw and looked to Regulus for instruction. He heaved a sigh and gave an uncaring shrug. "Go on," he answered. "Here, get me some Bertie Bott's beans, would you?" he asked as he passed the girl several pieces of silver.

Sarah gave a small nod and pushed past Sirius, giving the boy a fleeting look as the went in search of the snack cart witch.

Sirius stepped into the compartment and slid the door closed behind him. Before he could speak, Regulus held up his hand and shook his head. "If you're here to hit me, you've missed your chance. Evan beat you to it," he told his older brother.

"Rosier hit you?" Sirius asked, his eyes narrowing in upset.

"Like you care," Regulus answered. "What do you want?"

Sirius dragged his hands back through his long hair and dropped onto the seat next to his brother. "I want you to talk to me. What are you doing being engaged to that little t- That girl?"

"How do you even know that?" the other boy asked, his eyes wide and confused.

"She was in my compartment waving mother's ring around like she'd just won a prize."

"She was in _your_ compartment?"

"I'm dating her friend. She was talking to her. But that isn't the point, the point is...that girl isn't right for you," Sirius insisted. "She's...she's just not right. You need to be rid of her."

Regulus let out a cynical laugh and stared at his brother. "You're kidding right? I can't just be rid of her. Bellatrix picked her out for me. The trouble our mother went through to get this arranged, you wouldn't believe. I know she isn't the most wholesome girl bu-"

"You got that right. She's a whore!" The boy grabbed his brother's shoulders and pleaded with him through his eyes.

The younger boy held a deep breath and glared at his brother. He reached up and pried the boy's hands from his body and got to his feet. "She's my fiancé and you'll do well to remember that. You can't just come in here and throw around words like that. She's going to be my wife and you need to get over it. You gave up your right to have a say in my life when you moved away!" he shouted.

"I'm just trying to help you," Sirius argued. He tugged roughly at his hair and closed his eyes. "Why can't you see it, Regulus? Why can't you see what's right in front of you?" He jumped up and pulled his brother into an excruciatingly tight hug. "Don't push me out. Let me help you. Let me get you out of this! I can do it, I can help you now." He pulled back enough to look down into his brother's eyes. "I can help you now," he repeated. "I couldn't before. I didn't know how, but I can now! You can go to Dumbledore."

At the Headmaster's name, Regulus gave a scoff of disgust and wrenched himself away from his brother. "You're out of your damn mind," he said coldly. "I'm not going saying anything to that foolish old man. I want you out of here. I want you away from me! Get out! Get out! Get out!"

"Regulus d-"

"Get out!"

"Fine!" Sirius stared back at his brother, anger boiling in his eyes. He turned on his heel and stormed out of the car, muttering "Idiot" as he slammed the door closed behind him.

Regulus growled and threw himself down onto his seat. He folded his arms over his chest and grumbled under his breath. The boy's ticked off attitude didn't lessen the entire train ride. He was snappy and harsh with everyone who crossed his path as he got of the train and started towards the carriages. He and Sarah had argued out the bragging situation and the girl now followed behind Regulus in stark silence.

The boy was almost to his chosen carriage when he heard Sarah let out a startled shriek. He rounded in the direction she was staring and let out a relieved laugh as his eyes fell over a large black dog sitting only a few paces away from them. "Why are you screaming? It's just a dog," Regulus sighed. He smiled down at the creature and started to take a step towards it, but Sarah pulled him back.

"It's a huge dog! A huge, evil dog!" she argued, trying to pull the boy away.

"It isn't evil," Regulus insisted as he pulled out of the girl's hold. "He's friendly, look at him." He pointed towards the dog and crouched down to the ground. "Come here, boy," he beckoned.

The large dog got to his feet and walked towards Regulus, his tail wagging so hard that his entire hind quarters were swaying. The creature's tongue lolled off to the side of his mouth and he let out a yip as he reached the boy. Regulus slowly extended his hand so as to not frighten the dog. He smiled as the animal ducked his head and flattened his ears, allowing himself to be pet.

"See, he's friendly," Regulus said, looking up towards Sarah. He continued his affection towards the dog, much to Sarah's annoyance. "I always wanted a dog. When me and Sirius were little, dad used to take us to the breeder and we would play with the dogs. He never let us have one though."

An excited yip burst from the dog and he lunged towards Regulus, his front paws falling heavily onto the boy's chest, knocking him to the ground. Sarah screamed in fear as the dog's teeth moved towards Regulus' neck and closed over his emerald scarf. In an instant, the animal was bounding off down the beaten road, Regulus' scarf hanging from it's jaw.

The boy climbed to his feet and stared after the dog in shock. "That mutt took my bloody scarf!"

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**A Note From the Author: Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanna give a quick thanks to Marc for helping me out with all of the doggy details! "Thanks." So, leave me some thoughts. :D –Jenna**


	42. Polaris Rising

**Chapter 42: Polaris Rising**

**.**

Regulus kept his head ducked and his robes pulled tightly around himself as he crunched through the snow late Saturday afternoon. The boy had been studying all morning and wanted some fresh air and down time. He tried the common room, but the place was crowded and loud. So instead, he trudged out into the cold for a moment of solace. His feet drove him towards the lake, his eyes focused on the ground more than in front of him.

It was the laughter that caught his attention. He quickly looked up and flinched at the sight of his brother and the boy's three friends. Regulus' gloved hands twisted in his robes and the boy slowly backed away from the others, mentally pleading not to be seen. He let out a sigh of relief as he managed to move out of sight from the others.

"Don't wanna see your brother?" came the voice of Bartemius as the boy hurried up behind Regulus.

Regulus rounded on the blonde and shook his head. "I don't want to see anyone, to be more precise."

Bartemius nodded and stuffed his hands far into his pockets. "Where you headed? I saw you walking around. Thought I'd come for a chat."

Regulus frowned as the other boy didn't seem to catch his subtle hint to leave. He gave a small shrug and kicked at the snow as he started towards the edge of the forest. "Just walking around, I guess. Not really headed anywhere."

The two moved in silence, only the soft sound of their shoes breaking through packed ice as they walked towards the forest. They turned just on the edge and began to walk the perimeter of the trees. The wind was biting and they both started to grow red in the nose and the ears, but neither requested to stop or go back. The smell of fresh air and snow was too inviting; the gentle wintery aroma wafting off the lake was too soothing. It was peaceful and serene and the further they got from the school, the more at ease Regulus felt.

"I want to ask you a question," Bartemius said softly, daring to break the prolonged silence.

"Oh?" Regulus asked simply.

"Do...well I wa... I know that you're gay," the other boy finally answered.

Regulus didn't slow his pace, but he did cut his eyes back towards Bartemius. "That wasn't a question," he pointed out.

"Yeah, I know. I just..." the blonde fidgeted with his pockets and took a few long strides to make step next to the other boy. "I'm not."

"That wasn't a question either," Regulus laughed. When the other boy looked at him with clear distress showing on his face, Regulus couldn't help but laugh again. "I know, okay? I know that you're not gay. I never once assumed that you were."

"I like spending time with you."

"Why? All I do is tell you to get lost and make fun of your hair."

"Not lately," the boy argued. "Not since...you know? Since Topher...left. You've been kinda nice."

Regulus bit down hard on his bottom lip and gave an indifferent shrug. "We should head back," he said coldly as he turned on his heel and started back towards the school at a quicker pace.

"I've made you mad," Bartemius said as he jogged along side the other boy. "I didn't mean to make you mad."

"It's fine," Regulus lied, his mind focusing on getting back to the school. The sound of Bartemius' laughter made him falter and turn back to the other boy. "What's so fu-" He dropped his question and grinned as a large black dog came bounding over to the boys wearing a Slytherin scarf. Regulus dropped to his knees and put his hand out, calling the creature over. "Well look who it is," he said to the dog. "If it isn't that scarf-thieving mutt from the station," he laughed as he untied his own scarf from the dog's neck and stuffed it into his pocket.

"Is this him? The dog that took your scarf?" Bartemius asked, staring between the creature and the other boy.

Regulus shook his head and threw the blonde an amused glance. "Nah. There's tons of giant black dogs running around in Slytherin scarves. This might be a different one."

For a moment, Bartemius' face ran blank, not sure if the boy was putting him on or not. "W-well how did he get it on like that?" he asked, clearing his throat and straightening himself out.

The other boy merely shrugged and kept his attention on lavishing the dog with affection. "Why did you take my scarf, huh?" he asked the creature, a huge grin on his face. "You're lucky I've got more or I'd be out here freezing," he continued. "No collar. I wonder if he belongs to someone in the village."

"Looks well fed. He's pretty fat," Bartemius pointed out, prompting the dog to whip his head around and give the boy a small growl. The blonde put his hands up and took a step back from the creature.

Regulus smirked at the reaction and scratched the dog behind his ears, getting the animal's attention back onto himself. "I wonder what your name is. I think I'll name you something. If you're gonna start hanging around then I need something to call you." After a moment of silence, the boy smiled. "How about Polaris?"

The dog let out a small yip and Regulus took that to be an okay.

"Polaris? Really?" Bartemius snorted. "What's with your family and the star naming thing? Hey, why not just call him Sirius? That's the dog star." The boy got on his knees next to Regulus and held his hand out in offering to the dog.

"Sirius is my brother's name." Regulus rolled his eyes and pushed the other boy's hand away in a very possessive play for the dog.

"As far as I can tell, this dog is already twice the character your brother is. At least he had the sense to pick a Slytherin for a mate. Wouldn't see him palling around with those Gryffindors. That tosser with his little Snitch and that fat one; both worthless. That tall is one is the worst though. Why Dumbledore made that idiot a Prefect is beyond me."

At the boy's words, the dog leapt back and pointed his ears straight up. He ducked his head, bared his teeth and let a low threatening growl build in his throat. Saliva dripped from the creatures canine teeth as he flexed his back and sent all of his fur standing on edge. Bartemius jumped to his feet and pulled his wand, pointing it straight at the creature. Instantly, the dog collapsed to the ground and whined loudly, his light eyes staring straight at the boy's wand.

Regulus slammed his shoulder into the other boy and grabbed onto his wrist. "Don't you threaten him!" he yelled, pulling his own wand on Bartemius. "Put it down, now. Anything you do to that dog, I'll do twice to you."

The blonde met the other boy's eyes for a moment and lowered his wand. "Awfully protective over the flea bag that just tried to attack me, aren't you?"

"He didn't try to attack you, it was just a warning."

"For what?" Bartemius cried out. "I didn't do anything."

"It was probably your tone of voice or something. Dogs pick up on that kind of thing." He dropped back down to the ground and brushed his hand back over the dog's head. "It's alright. He's not gonna hurt you. Why don't you go back to the school?" he asked, turning back to the other boy.

"I'm not leaving you alone with that vicious thing!"

"He isn't vicious," Regulus snapped. He stood up straight and patted the snow from the back of his robes, then put on a dignified face. "Come on, Polaris, let's get a snack." He pat his leg and started towards the school. The dog got to it's feet and followed right on the boy's heels.

"Regulus, you can't just ditch me for a dog," Bartemius protested.

Regulus waved his hand uncaring to the boy and continued to the school. "Alright boy, you wait right here and I'll run in and get us a treat, okay?" he said, pointing towards the walkway just beside the main doors of the school. "Won't take me long at all." The boy pat the dog on the head and dashed into the castle. He pushed through to the Great Hall and collected a handful of cookies for himself and several leftover sandwiches for Polaris.

"Alright, here we go," he said with a smile as he stepped back into the cold and dropped the sandwiches onto the ground in front of the dog. He took a bite of his cookie and stared down at the dog as it stared back up at him. "What's wrong? I gave you yours," he argued, pointing to the ground. "Go on, those are for you." He sighed loudly and dropped onto one knee before Polaris. "Here," he insisted, picking up one sandwich and waving it at the creature. "What kinda dog doesn't want food?"

The dog softened his eyes and dipped his head, slowly scoffing down the offering the boy had brought him. Regulus smiled and ruffled Polaris' fur. "See, I knew you'd like them," he laughed as he stuffed another cookie into his mouth whole. "You should come back more often. I can get you all the sandwiches you want." He cleared the snow from the ground on the walkway and sat down next to the dog. "Want a cookie?" he asked, holding out the sweet.

Polaris quickly closed his mouth over the cookie and swallowed it back, making Regulus laugh as he wiped the slobber from his hand. The boy pulled his gloves back on and leaned against the dog's side. "I can't stay out here too long. I've got a Potions exam Monday and I have to study. Not like it'll matter, I'm dreadful in that class. I wish Slughorn hadn't let me back in, but he can't leave out one of his Slug Club kids." The boy snorted in annoyance and tugged at his glove fingers to straighten them out.

"It wouldn't be so bad, I guess, if Topher was still here. At least when we messed up then, it was always a joint effort. Not now. I'm stuck with Fenwick for a partner. Punishment for him; since he's like one of the best in our class, but he can't keep his gob shut for two minutes. So now I've got him for a partner and he's always trying to kick me under the table." Regulus smiled over at the dog and passed his fingers through the creature's fur. "You're a good listener," he laughed. "We should do this more often. But...I have to go now." He groaned under the effort of getting back on his feet and gave the dog one last pat as he headed back inside the castle.

Regulus threw one last glance back over his shoulder to watch Polaris bound off across the grounds of the school before slipping inside the doors and starting towards the Slytherin common room. He had a small bounce to his step as he traveled the hallways and gave the password to the wall in the dungeon.

"I'm surprised you didn't drag that ruddy mutt back in here with you," Bartemius sneered the moment Regulus appeared in the doorway. The boy sat up straight on the couch and raised his eyebrows in question. "You didn't, did you? It isn't in the hallway?"

"No, he isn't in the hallway," Regulus answered with a snarky tone. "You can't bring a dog in the school, that's just stupid. It's against the rules."

Bartemius gave a small laugh and leaned back into his seat. "I didn't think you were the type to follow rules," he chided.

The dark-haired boy narrowed his eyes and remained silent as he walked down the hallway to his room. He tugged off his gloves and cloak and tossed them onto the end of his bed as he eyes locked onto a long package. "What's this?" he asked aloud as he tore back the paper to reveal a broom.

"It's from Will," Bartemius answered from the doorway, his fingers shoved in his mouth chewing at the nails. "Latest model from Universal. He sent them to the whole team. We're supposed to test them out, show them off, all that rubbish."

Regulus nodded and finished tearing the paper back off the broom. "Sounds fun. Let's go try 'em out."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Okay, hopefully I don't have to explain the dog to anyone. How do you think things are going to play with Polaris here? Will Regulus learn the truth? Will something else go wrong? Any predictions on the brooms even? Leave me some thoughts and thanks for reading. :D –Jenna**


	43. All About Strategy

**Chapter 43: All About Strategy**

**.**

The Slytherin Quidditch team couldn't contain their joy at the near board-sweeping win over Ravenclaw; two-hundred-seventy to only forty. The team cheered and took turns mocking the other team as they all filed into the changing room to get cleaned up and out of their uniforms. One by one, the boys began to make their way back out of the room as they dressed, all headed for the Slytherin common room where there was sure to be a continued celebration.

Regulus and Bartemius hung back after the rest of team, taking their time to change. Regulus mostly from the refusal to expose his arm to anyone and Bartemius out of the refusal to leave Regulus behind on his own. Just as the two were headed to the door, a large figure stepped into the opening, blocking their way.

"Where are the brooms?" Will Mulciber asked, his eyes narrowing angrily at Regulus.

"The-" Bartemius started, but he was cut off by the older boy.

"I didn't ask you, Crouch. You can go. I'm talking to Regulus." Will stepped out of the doorway and grabbed his friend by the arm, pushing him back into the depths of the locker room. "I mean it," he shot back at Bartemius. "Get lost."

"Will, the brooms are...they're over there," Regulus answered, swallowing hard and pointing towards a locked case holding the seven brooms Will had sent the Quidditch team.

Will dropped his hand from Regulus' arm and folded his arms over his chest. "Do you realize how stupid you've made me look?" he hissed. "I had potential investors here today to see those brooms in action and you didn't even use them!"

"It wasn't all me!" Regulus argued. "We decided as a team not to use them."

"Why?" Will shouted. "I was counting on you; on this! Regulus, you son of a bitch, you let me down!" The boy advanced on the smaller, his eyes baring down on Regulus with anger. He continued to step towards the boy until he was backed into the wall. Will's hands rested on the wall on each side of the other boy's head, trapping him. "Why did you do this?" he repeated, his words an angry whisper.

Regulus knew what kind of person Will was, but never before that moment had he been afraid of him. He stared up into his friend's eyes and squirmed against the wall. "Th-they pull to the left," he answered quietly. "They all do. Not just a little, either," he continued, breaking his gaze away and staring at the floor.

"They what?" Will hissed, letting his hands drop. "To the left? They...but they were..." He shook his head and twisted his fingers up into his shaggy blonde hair. "Okay. Okay, a little pull; that's nothing. Simple to fix." He nodded as he spoke and smoothed his hands down over the front of his robes.

"That's not all," Regulus said hesitantly. When Will's head whipped towards him, Regulus stiffened up and looked away. "The braking charm..." He took a deep breath and shifted in spot. "It's off. By about three seconds, almost four. That doesn't sound bad, but Will, I'm a Seeker! Those three seconds could cost us the game," he said, starting to get his confidence back.

"More like cost you your life!" Bartemius interjected as he stepped back into the changing room from listening at the door.

"Stay out of this, Crouch!" Will threatened.

Bartemius faltered a bit in his steps but he continued into the room. "I won't stay out of it. Your ruddy broom almost got him hurt," he pressed. "He was this close -" he held up his fingers to show a miniscule amount of space "- to smashing right into the announcer stand during practice. After that, the team decided the brooms weren't safe and we locked them up." He shook his head and stuffed his hands down into his pockets, staring at Will with defiance. "You can't say it was _him_, either. You know very well he doesn't have any problem stopping with a proper broom."

"Barty, don't." Regulus put up his hand and gave the boy a pleading look.

"Barty?" Will repeated with a chilling laugh. "You're calling him Barty? What kinda shit is this? My brother leaves for a while and you start being best mates with...this?" The boy put his hand over his mouth and stared at Bartemius as though he were some kind of mass stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

"He isn't my _best_ _mate_, don't be stupid," Regulus argued. "He's just..." He trailed off, not even sure what to say.

"He's what, Regulus?" Will prodded.

"He's nothing. He's my teammate; my friend."

"Well which is it?" Will asked, staring down at Regulus. "Is he your friend or is he _nothing_?" He raised his eyebrows and cut his eyes towards Bartemius. He let out a small scoffing sound and tightened his lips. "Doesn't look like _nothing_."

"He's a friend," Regulus insisted, folding his arms across his chest. "Why are you being so weird? What do you care who I make friends with?" He glanced over at Bartemius and gave the boy a small shrug, earning a grin in return.

Will opened his mouth to answer, but he was interrupted. "Mister Mulciber," came a meek voice from the doorway. "You're wanted out here," the young man continued, thumbing over his shoulder. Will nodded at the man and turned back to Regulus. "I don't care," he told the boy before turning on his heel and heading out of the changing room.

"I didn't realize," Bartemius spoke up the moment Will was out of sight.

"Realize what?" Regulus asked as he straightened himself out and adjusted his robes.

"Mulciber," Bartemius answered in an _isn't_-_it_-_obvious_ tone. When he received a blank stare from the dark-haired boy, he couldn't help but smile. "Mulciber," he repeated. "Getting all bent out of shape like that; over me. He was...well he was acting kinda..." he trailed off, staring at Regulus in confusion. "You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" he asked with a smirk.

"Not a damn clue," Regulus answered as he started for the door. "He's just pissed over the brooms. Don't read into it. He's...got a temper, to say the least. Doesn't like many people. I wouldn't take it personal if I were you."

Bartemius nodded and followed behind Regulus in silence as they walked to the common room. The two boys were met with cheers as they breached the entrance. "You were awesome, Black!" came one cry. "Best game we've had in years," came another. "One more match and we'll have that cup," called out one boy, resulting in a renewed cheer from the group. "Gryffindor is going down this year!"

Regulus tensed up as he passed through the small crowd gathering around. He graciously accepted a butterbeer as it was pressed into his hand and continued through to his dorm room. "Way too crowded in there," he muttered to himself as he closed the door behind himself and dropped onto his bed. He took a long drink from the cold butterbeer and shivered as it went down. The boy shrugged off his robes and tossed them to the end of his bed.

A soft knock on the door made Regulus groan as he had only had about three minutes of alone time. "Come in," he called out, surprised as Sarah's head peeked into the room.

"There you are," she said with a smile as she stepped in and closed the door back. "I waited for you after the match, you didn't come out with the others."

"Had something to do," Regulus said simply. "Did you want something?"

"I wanted to see you," she answered as she dropped onto the bed next to the boy and took his hand. "You were amazing today."

Regulus preened a bit at the compliment and pulled his hand away. "Shouldn't you be mourning the loss of your chances at the Cup with the rest of your House?" he asked with a smug grin.

"Hey, we're not completely out of it," Sarah whined, pushing the boy on the shoulder. "If we beat Hufflepuff ne-"

"You'd have to win by over three-hundred points just to get back into second place. More than that after we take down Gryffindor. So don't hold your breath," Regulus teased.

Sarah gave a comical pout and played with her hair. "At least you're in a good mood," she offered, leaning over and giving the boy a quick kiss. "I was thinking we could -"

"Black!" The door to the room swung open to reveal the stern faced Prefect, Eunice Higgs. "The Headmaster wants to see you in his office." The boy narrowed his dark eyes at Sarah and pulled out a referral pad from his pocket. "I know your name's Sarah, but give me your last name. You're both getting detention for this. You -" he pointed at Sarah "- aren't allowed here. Especially in a boy's room."

Regulus rolled his eyes and pushed past the Prefect, leaving the two to handle things. He ignored the few people who tried to stop him as he passed through the common room to get into the hallway. "Why are you following me?" he asked, noticing Bartemius on his heels as he started to the office.

"Not following you. Just happen to be going the same place. Professor Dumbledore wants to see me too." The blonde hurried to walk next to Regulus and twisted his hands in his pockets. "What do you think he wants?"

Regulus merely shrugged in answer and stayed silent until they arrived at the office.

"Ah, I'm glad that you came straight away," Professor Dumbledore said as he spotted the two boys. The old man adjusted his glasses and nodded to Bartemius. "I'm going to speak to Mister Black first," he told the boy before showing Regulus into his office. "You played quite the game this afternoon," the man began, holding his hand out to indicate that Regulus should sit.

"Thank you, Sir," Regulus replied politely as he took a seat.

"I find it interesting, the way you play. Twice you had the Snitch within your grasps, but you didn't take it. You waited. Such...boldness." Dumbledore slid a bowl of individually wrapped sweets towards Regulus and took a seat behind his desk.

"It isn't being bold, Sir; it's strategy. Ravenclaw's Keeper has been sick for the last two weeks and their Chasers have never been a match for _our_ Keeper. I wanted to make sure we had a high enough point lead to knock their team completely out of the running. And give us a leg up on Gryffindor for our next match." Regulus plucked a candy from the bowl and busied himself with unwrapping it.

Dumbledore gave a small nod and relaxed against his chair to unwrap a sweet of his own. "That's very clever of you," the man offered.

"At the risk of sounding pretentious, I'm going to agree." Regulus pushed the tiny sugar candy into his mouth and stared down at the wrapper, wondering what it was. "But...you didn't call me in here to talk about Quidditch and have candy with you."

"No, I didn't," Dumbledore conceded. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Go for it," the boy said, tossing the wrapper into the near-by rubbish bin.

"You might have noticed that quite a few students have not returned to the school this year," the old man began. "All sharing the common trait of being Muggle-born."

Regulus gave a small shrug and kept his lips sealed.

Dumbledore leaned forwards and folded his arms on his desk. "I've already got a good guess as to where they are...but I'd like to know if you have any information on one in particular; a Mister Anthony Bonham."

"Never met him," Regulus lied instantly, his grey eyes dropping to his lap.

"You're not a very good liar, Mister Black," Dumbledore said pointedly.

"And you're not the first to tell me that, _Headmaster_," Regulus replied with a dry tone. "If it's honesty you want, you're not going to get it out of me. I have nothing to say to you and...you have no way of making me." The boy sat up straight in his seat and smoothed his hands over his legs. "If that's all, then I'll be on my way," he replied coolly as he got to his feet and turned his back on Professor Dumbledore.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think. :D –Jenna**


	44. Legilimency, Lies & a Scent of Suspicion

**Chapter 44: Legilimency, Lies & the Scent of Suspicion**

**.**

"What did he want?" Regulus asked the moment Bartemius stepped out of Dumbledore's office.

The other boy flinched at the sudden and unexpected question. "He wasn't clear," he answered. "He went on about the Quidditch game and kept giving me candy. I didn't eat it though. I thought it might have Veritaserum on it." He pulled his hand from his pocket and showed Regulus several of the same candies he had consumed with Dumbledore.

"You were in there for over an hour," Regulus prompted as he took some of the candies out of the boy's hand and put them in his own pocket.

"He kept asking me questions. Wanted to know what my career plans were and I told him that I wanted to be a writer for the _Daily_ _Prophet_ and he asked me if I was serious. I said, _no_ actually I want to move to Egypt and raise camels and he got this annoyed look on his face and I finally said that I wanted to do exactly what my father does, which is a complete lie, but it seemed to suffice because he quit asking me." Bartemius placed the remaining candies back in his pocket. "Then he started in asking me how I felt about Muggles and Muggle-borns."

"What did you say?" Regulus asked quickly.

"I told him that I thought they should all be tossed into a fire pit," the blonde answered without a shred of joke in his voice. Upon seeing Regulus' shocked face, a smile broke out onto Bartemius' lips, giving him a twisted an eerie appearance. "I'm not stupid. I told him I couldn't care less if a person was a Muggle-born or not. Damn, you think I'm that dumb?"

"N-no, you just surprised me is all," Regulus argued. "So that was it?"

"Nope. Then he started talking about my grades and how intelligent I am. Like I don't know that I'm smart," he laughed. "But he felt the need to remind me of my scores in _every_ _single_ _class_ and then tell me about how much potential I have and how I would be a great Auror."

"Auror?" Regulus was taken aback by the idea. "You don't want to be an Auror, do you?"

Bartemius tilted his head and eyed Regulus with a trace of concern. "I want to be one of you," the boy answered as he grabbed onto Regulus' left arm. He forced Regulus' sleeve up and brushed his fingertips over the light grey markings on the boy's skin. "What's it feel like?" he whispered.

Regulus jerked his arm out of the boy's grip and hurried to pull his sleeve down. "Are you insane? Someone could have seen that," he hissed. "And we've talked about the...touching thing."

"Sorry," Bartemius answered, stuffing one hand in his pocket and chewing the nails of the other. "I get carried away sometimes."

"Yeah, no kidding," Regulus muttered. He turned on his heel and started towards the Slytherin common room again. "What _do _you wanna do after school?" he asked as they walked. "Career wise."

"I haven't thought about it much, to be honest. I'm only fifteen, I have a while." He gave a small shrug and kept chewing at his already damaged nails. "Obliviator might be fun. Messing with people's heads, getting into their memories and ju-"

"It isn't as fun as you think," Regulus interrupted. "It's a bit scary to be honest." He stopped in the Entrance Hall and grabbed onto the other boy's robe sleeve. "I'm going outside."

"I'll come too," Bartemius insisted at once. "I want to hear the rest of that. When did you ever Obliviate anyone?" he pressed as they headed into the courtyard and towards the covered bridge.

"It was last year. I don't want to talk about it. It...didn't end so well," Regulus answered, hugging his arms around himself and mentally cursing having left behind his heavy robes when he was called to Dumbledore's office. "There's something I wanted to ask you," he said quietly as they reached the bridge and started over it. They stopped about halfway across. "All of that...mind reading s-"

"Legilimency! Regulus, I swear if I have to tell you again, I am going to c-"

"Sorry! Sorry! Legilimency, got it. Calm down!" Regulus cried out, holding his hands up in surrender. "You okay?"

"Yes, just get on with it," Bartemius grumbled as he pulled his robes off and laid them across the bridge railing.

"Well..." Regulus shifted on the spot and frowned down at the deep canyon below them. "I'm a lousy liar. I've been told that over and over and I am really tired of people being able to just...see it. What kind of -" he glanced around them to make sure no one was near "- Death Eater can I be if I can't tell one damn lie without someone knowing it?"

Bartemius had pulled off his sweater while Regulus spoke. He handed it over to the boy and pulled his robes back on before speaking. "Put it on, you're turning blue."

Regulus stared down at the sweater a moment, debating whether to do as he was told. In the end, being frozen won out over pride and the boy tugged on the still-warm sweater. He crinkled his nose a bit as the smell of Bartemius' cologne rose and hit him harder than he was used to. He wouldn't say that it was an unpleasant smell; spicy with undertones of lavender and citrus. It was just more than he would have liked to be so close to. "Thanks," he offered rather simply as he folded his arms over his chest.

"You don't want Legilimency. You want the opposite; Occlumency. It's like a mental block. You put up walls around your mind and you can keep people from mussing about in your head." Bartemius leaned back on the railing and sighed. "It isn't your brain giving you away though," he added. "It's your eyes. And your mouth, but mostly your eyes. They kind of...I guess you could call it a twitch."

"How do I get rid of it?" Regulus scoffed.

"Stop feeling so guilty when you lie," Bartemius answered with a smirk.

"I don't feel guilty when I lie. It's normal. People lie. I lie all the damn time; especially to Sarah."

"Relax," Bartemius insisted. "Maybe it isn't guilt. Maybe it's something else, I don't know, but I _do_ know that it shows in your eyes." He gave the boy an apologetic smile and glanced towards an oncoming couple out for an evening walk. "You wanna go back in?"

"Might as well." The dark haired boy looked longingly towards the school and shook his head. "I was kinda hoping that...well it's stupid."

"That Polaris would be out here?" the other boy supplied.

"Maybe," Regulus answered with a small laugh. "Am I that easy to read?"

Bartemius laughed and jerked his head for Regulus to follow him back towards the school. "You've been spending a lot of time with that dog over the last three weeks. And...you're easy to read," he teased. "Is it the power? You throw the stick, he brings it back. You throw the stick...he brings it back. It's like a weird power trip thing."

"It isn't about power!" Regulus snapped. "It's about companionship. Dogs are loyal and trusting and they don't judge you. They don't care if you're rich or attractive or a murderer. They don't care if you're...different and they certainly don't spend all their time trying to get you drunk enough to have sex." He gave a small huff and stared at the grounds as they walked.

"I don't try to get you drunk," Bartemius pointed out. "I don't care if you're rich or attractive or a murderer either."

"Would you care if I was a Muggle?" the other boy asked quietly.

"No – Yes. I don't know. I guess if you were a Muggle I wouldn't know you. And you can't exactly become a Muggle now."

"Okay, real situation. If I suddenly turned to you and told you that I was a Muggle-born, what would you do?" Regulus felt his body go rigid at his own words. His blood felt as cold as the chilling air around him and his face flushed with heat from his own memories.

Bartemius hesitated in his steps and glanced over at Regulus, watching as the boy started chewing on his bottom lip. "I guess I would never speak to you again. Or worse, if I had to. I wouldn't like it, but this world needs to be rid of filth like that. Muggles, Muggle-borns, even those blood traitors like – and you can hate me for saying it – like your brother, we need to get rid of them."

"I couldn't agree more," Regulus responded dutifully. "But now you see my point. Polaris, he doesn't care what kind of blood I have. He just cares that I give him attention."

"I get it," Bartemius replied. The two stayed silent until they reached the Entrance Hall and started towards the dungeons. "Sarah," he said distantly, causing Regulus to give him a look of confusion. "Sarah," he repeated, pointing towards a darkened alcove as they neared it.

"How did you – I'd rather not know actually. I'll see you later," Regulus said, waving to the blonde as he went on his way. He cut across the hall to where Sarah stood bathed in the shadows and nudged her with his elbow. "What are you doing standing here like this?" he asked.

"I was waiting for you," Sarah answered as she turned to Regulus and laid her hands on his sides. "Don't pull away. I just got detention and waited almost two hours in this stupid hall for you, you can give me some time."

Regulus bit back the urge to say something rude about him not asking her to wait or show up in his room. Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall. Sarah's heated breath washed over the boy's neck, giving him shivers and making his body run rigid. He expected the girl to continue her pursuit for affection, but suddenly there was a chill over his front from Sarah stepping away.

"What the hell were you doing?" Sarah asked, her tone sharp and cold.

Regulus opened his eyes and gave the girl a baffled look. "I got called to the office. You know that."

"Then what?" she pushed, her eyes glaring daggers at him.

"Then I waited for Barty to get out of the office."

"I see."

"I wanted to know what Dumbledore asked him."

"Uh huh."

"What's your damn problem?" Regulus held out his hands, astounded at the girl's hostile demeanor.

"And after he got out of the office, what then? You came straight here?" Sarah crossed her arms and took a step back from Regulus.

The boy dragged his hand back through his hair and peered out of the window. "No. We went outside for a little while. Is that against the rules all of a sudden?"

"It depends on what you _did_ when you were outside," Sarah said, her tone growing angrier with each word. "Well?"

"We walked. Talked. What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem is that you reek of him." Sarah tensed her jaw and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath in attempt to soothe herself. "What is going on between you two?"

"Oh, are you serious?" Regulus cried out, a cynical laugh breaking his words. "I'm wearing his damn sweater! I forgot my robes on the bed, it's cold outside, he gave me his sweater." The boy tugged on the front of the sweater as he spoke about it, a feeble try to prove his words. "Look at me! There is nothing going on between me and _him_. That's bloody insane!"

Sarah stared down at the grey on Regulus' chest and pursed her lips. "Go take a shower. I can't be around you when you smell like that. It's too..."

"How about you just don't be around me then?" Regulus snapped as he stormed past Sarah and towards the dungeons.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. How do you feel about Barty and Sarah right now? Leave me a few words or a lot or none at all. Either way, thanks for reading! :D –Jenna**


	45. I Know You Wanted It

**Chapter 45: I Know You Wanted It**

**.**

Snow fell lightly over Hogwarts, bringing a fresh blanket of white to lay over the tarnished and tracked up layer that already covered the grounds. While most of the students sheltered themselves inside the castle, surrounding fireplaces and sipping hot chocolate and cider, some of them dared the icy cold to enjoy snowball fights and have who-can-build-a-better-snowman contests. Laughter rang out across the grounds as mounds of packed ice soared through the air and smashed into their intended targets. Shrieks of surprise and threats of retaliation promised a full out snow war and sent new waves of excitement into the air.

Regulus dropped himself onto the ground and scrambled to get behind the built up snowbank that he and Sarah were using for their stronghold against Bartemius and Della. The boy pointed his wand at the snow beside him and started charming it into mounds, ready for assault.

"You can't use your wand, Regulus that's cheating," Sarah laughed as she pulled the boy's hand away from his work. "We have to be fair."

"Oh, come on, there's no way those two are playing fair," Regulus argued with a grin before going back to his magic.

"But it's che- Oh!" Sarah let out a sharp cry of surprise as a large collection of snow dropped onto her and Regulus from above. "They are using magic! Charm faster," she insisted as she pulled out her own wand and started hoovering the snowballs that Regulus had already made.

The boy got a sneaky gleam in his eyes and peeked up over the top of the snow bank to see Bartemius and Della staring at them and laughing. "You give up yet?" Bartemius asked with a smile as Della added in, "Better surrender, losers!" The two got wide eyes as Sarah and Regulus leapt out from behind the snowbank with their wands and near fifty floating snowballs.

The white mounds flew towards Della and Bartemius, slamming into them and covering the two with ice in a matter of moments. Sarah and Regulus gave victorious hoots and laughed as the others tried to shake off the cold now seeping down into the necks of their robes.

War raged between the four for well over an hour and by the end of the fight they had somehow managed to switch teams: leaving Regulus with Della to battle against his fiancée and Bartemius. Finally, both blondes flew their white flags and humbly admitted defeat to the others.

Regulus smiled over at Della and for the first time, her company didn't seem so bad. "Was fun working with you," the boy laughed as they got to their feet and patted the snow from their robes.

"Yeah, you're not so bad, Black," the girl said as she used her wand to dry out her limp black hair. "Too bad you have to be so stubborn all the time though. I know your brother would love doing this kinda thing with you."

And once again Regulus hated Della Prang. The boy frowned and tucked his wand away. "Just because you're his girlfriend or whatever doesn't mean that you have a clue what he wants." When the girl opened her mouth to speak again, Regulus held up his hand and shook his head. "Mind your own business." He turned sharply and headed over to where Sarah and Bartemius stood.

"We should go inside and get some hot chocolate," Sarah said breathlessly as she kissed Regulus quickly on the cheek.

"Regulus doesn't like...hot...chocolate," Bartemius said rather hesitantly, attempting to stop his own words half-way through his sentence.

"I know that!" Sarah snapped at the boy, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "I know that," she repeated in a snotty tone. "He can have some cider or something."

Regulus grabbed onto Sarah's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze before dropping it. "Let's just go in," he said as he turned his back on the two and started towards the school. He could hear Della and Sarah's hissing whispers behind him, but he did his best to not focus on their words. Only faint breaks of _Regulus_ and _chocolate_ and _brother_ made it to his ears.

"Regulus, look," Bartemius called out, waiting for the boy to turn around before pointing off in the distance towards a massive black figure. "Is that Polaris?"

"Yeah it is," Regulus said, his excitement piquing. "You guys go on without me. I'm gonna stay out here," he told the others before jogging over to the dog. "Hey boy, I haven't seen you all week," he said as he dropped onto his knees and began ruffling the creature's fur. "You wanna play?" he asked with a laugh as he pried a stick from the dog's mouth.

The boy stood up and waved the stick in front of Polaris. He let out a laugh when the dog spun in circles, yipping and bouncing with eagerness. "Okay, go get it!" he cried out as he flung the stick and searched out a place to sit.

"I knew it; power trip. You throw the stick and there he goes," Bartemius joked as he stepped up beside Regulus and followed him to the nearest tree. "I didn't fancy spending alone time with your girl and her friend," he added, taking a seat next to Regulus on the ground and leaning back against the tree.

"Ah, but Sarah's great company," Regulus laughed.

"She makes my skin crawl."

"Well, if it matters at all -" he paused to take the stick from Polaris and throw it again "- she says the same thing about you." Regulus grinned over at Bartemius.

Twenty minutes melted under Bartemius and Regulus as they chatted and played with Polaris. Fetch became tiresome and soon the dog sprawled out on his back, head draped across Regulus' legs, his eyes closing from the soothing way the boy scratched behind his ears. "Can I see it again?" Bartemius asked, making Polaris roll over and stare at the boy with wide eyes. "No one's around."

Regulus double checked the area to be sure and held his left arm out in front of Bartemius. "You're so weird sometimes," he muttered with an amused grin as the other boy pushed his sleeve back and stared down at the Dark Mark.

"Did it hurt?" the blonde asked quietly, his fingertips hoovering just above the boy's skin.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Regulus answered, tipping his head back against the tree. "Imagine being set on fire and plunged into ice at the same time. Then triple it. You wanna scream, but for some reason...you just _can't_ and you beg to pass out, but you _don't_ and it all happens in about two minutes even though you think you've been standing there for hours." He let out a strained sigh and shook his head, his arm muscles tensing as he felt the other boy's fingertips make contact with his flesh.

"But it's worth that kind of pain," Bartemius whispered over the faint sound of Polaris' whimpering. His deep brown eyes trailed up from the markings on Regulus' skin and onto the boy's face. "Right?"

"There are some things that will _always_ be worth the pain they cause," Regulus answered as he met Bartemius' gaze and bit down hard on his bottom lip.

Bartemius kept his eyes locked onto Regulus' as he slid his fingers around the boy's forearm and held onto it tightly. He shifted just a bit and leaned forward, his lips brushing over the other boy's. Regulus' breath caught in his throat and for a moment his body screamed to move forward for more. He forced himself to turn away from the temptation and pulled his arm from the other boy's hold. His stare fell over Polaris as the dog sat up straight and eyed Bartemius with ears pointed.

Regulus ran his hand back over the dog's head to comfort him and scooted away from Bartemius. "Why did you do that?" he whispered, his eyes staring off in the distance.

The blonde reached up and grabbed onto Regulus' face, his fingers pressing into the boy's jawline. He held the boy still and brought his mouth crashing down hard onto Regulus'. His lips moved strongly against the other boy's, forcing his mouth open and pulling a shuddered hum of enjoyment from him. Regulus pushed back into the kiss and let his hand mindlessly push into Bartemius' hair. The blissful pain of the rough and rather frantic kiss continued until they could no longer ignore the escalating volume of the growling from beside them.

Polaris stood with his hackles raised, his head dipped and his teeth bared as he stared straight at Bartemius. A long trail of saliva dripped from the creature's mouth and onto Regulus' slacks as the dog carefully stepped over his legs and advanced towards the blonde boy. Bartemius backed himself up against the tree and grasped frantically at his robes to find his wand.

Regulus grabbed onto Polaris and pulled the dog backwards. "What's wrong with you?" he cried out, staring at the dog in horror. "You can't keep going after him."

"That bloody mutt is rabid or something, Regulus," Bartemius said as he managed to free his wand and push himself to his feet. "Let's just go inside."

"Okay," Regulus answered after a moment of silence. He climbed up off the ground and threw a glance back at a now-whining Polaris before following the other boy into the school.

Bartemius stopped just inside the castle and peered back out of the door to see if Polaris had trailed them. "There's something off about that dog."

"There's something off about _you_," Regulus argued. "What the hell was that about? You said you weren't gay."

"I'm not."

"You _kissed_ me," Regulus hissed.

"You wanted me to."

"No I didn't!"

"I'd know that was a lie even if I couldn't see you right now. I could _tell_ that you wanted it. And you sure as hell didn't have a problem kissing back," Bartemius pointed out.

Regulus flinched at the obvious and ducked his head. "It doesn't matter what I wanted you to do; you shouldn't have."

"I wanted to make you happy."

"But you aren't gay. You don't kiss someone when you don't...when you don't want them." Regulus tugged at his hair and threw the other boy and exasperated stare.

"You kiss Sarah all the time."

"It's different!"

"How? How is it different? How is it any different for you to kiss her to make her happy than for me to do the same?" Bartemius shook his head. "You can't even answer. Because I'm right!"

"Fine! You're right. Is that what you want to hear? You're right. You are right. Oh wise one, you are so full of right!" Regulus flung his hands towards Bartemius and growled in frustration. "Don't ever do it again." He turned sharply and started for the Great Hall, giving a loud groan as Bartemius followed.

"I won't," the blonde said. "I promise." After a slow and silent walk to the Great Hall, Bartemius lowered himself onto the bench beside Regulus and pulled over a plate. "Things are awkward now," he muttered.

"Well...that's your fault," Regulus replied smugly.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Just pointing this out now, Sirius does NOT have a problem with Regulus being gay. He has a problem with Barty. Very much so. That'll be clearer later on, but I don't want anyone thinking that Sirius is against his brother's choices in that area! Now that that is out of the way, what did you think of the chapter? Barty has a point, yes? Yes. Thank you for reading! :D –Jenna**


	46. And When he Breaks

**Chapter 46: And When he Breaks**

**.**

Regulus shifted on his seat in the library and tapped the end of his quill on the parchment laying out before him. Several dots of ink scattered over the surface, making the first marks the sheet saw. The boy frowned at the ink but made no effort to get rid of it. He dropped his quill and dragged his hands back through his hair, letting out a loud groan that earned him a glare from the near-by librarian.

"It isn't that hard," Sarah whispered as she leaned towards Regulus. "You aren't even trying."

Regulus whipped his head towards the girl and glared at her. "I didn't say it was hard," he hissed, shoving the parchment away from himself. "I just don't wanna do the damn thing."

The blonde girl pursed her lips in annoyance and turned her eyes back to her own work. "You're not going to pass if you keep putting it off," she muttered.

"I don't care," Regulus snapped as he laid his head down on the table and mindlessly poked at the edge of his History of Magic book. "I don't even like the class. It's useless. The essays are useless. I should have dropped it when I had the chance."

"Someone's in a mood today," she replied without bothering to hold back her sarcasm.

"And someone's being an obnoxious bitch today," he bit back as he sat up and slammed his book closed. He ignored Sarah's hurt expression as he shoved his things into his bag and pulled it up on his shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Sarah demanded, scrambling to gather her things and follow the boy out of the library. "I asked you a question!" She continued to follow the boy out onto the grounds and towards the lake while he continued to ignore her. "Regulus, damn it, stop ignoring me!" she shouted as they came to a stop.

"What?" Regulus drew out as he dropped his bag to the ground and turned to face Sarah. "What? What do you want? Why are you following me?" he asked, his face twisted in distress and his hands waved wildly. When Sarah merely stared back at him in silence, he curled his hands into fists and screamed through his teeth. "Speak!" he shouted.

Sarah flinched at the boy's shout and tears quickly filled her eyes. "Don't yell at me!" she choked out, throwing her bag down. "What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like such a jerk?"

The boy shook his head and remained silent as he turned away from Sarah and lowered himself to the ground. "Just go away," he muttered, cutting his fingertips through a patch of the slushy remains that were once the winter's snow. His backside was already chilled through in the few moments he had been on the ground; his slacks slightly damp.

"But..." Sarah twisted her fingers around in the bottom of her hair and shifted her weight from side to side as she stared down at Regulus' back. "But I want to spend time with you," she whimpered. "Don't you wanna spend time with me?"

"We have the rest of our lives to spend time together," Regulus answered with a cold tone. His grey eyes stared out across the still surface of the lake. "I just wanna be alone for a little while."

"Bu-"

"Alone!" Regulus snapped. "Why is it so hard for people to understand?" He clenched his hands by his head and struggled to take deep breaths in order to keep himself calm. "I just need some time to myself," he said slowly, forcing his words to come out steady and low. "I can't take two lousy steps out of my bed without Barty being in my face and the moment I leave the common room, you're on my ass talking about your _feelings_ and your _hair_ and your stupid friends! And-and I can't even get any private study time anymore because you hang over me like my mother telling me to finish my work and correcting my essays like it's your job to make sure I pass."

"Okay, I get it," Sarah whispered.

"No, I don't think you do!" Regulus growled. He got to his feet and pointed his finger towards the school. "I hate this place. Do you get that? Huh? I _hate_ this school! My mates are gone. All of them. And what I'm left with is you and Barty; like some kinda sick practical joke of replacements." He dragged one hand back roughly through his hair and pulled and the black locks until it hurt. "I feel like the Professors are constantly watching me. Waiting...watching eyes all the time! Waiting for me to slip and do something to expose myself." He gritted his teeth and yanked the sleeve back from his left arm to show his Dark Mark. Where the branding was usually a light grey colour, it now shone in a deep black. "And this," he hissed.

"Why's it...why is it black?" the girl asked so low her words were almost nothing. Her eyes fixed hard on the Mark, worried.

Regulus let out a quiet, disturbed laugh and covered his arm back. "It's black because He wants us," the boy answered slowly, his eyes going distant. He twisted his arm around inside of the fabric of his robes, trying to rub away the dull tingle the Mark was creating. "It's how the Dark Lord _summons_ everyone. It goes black and we can feel it and we go to Him but..." He snorted indignantly and rolled his eyes. "But I can't. Because I'm stuck in this damn place."

Sarah's mouth opened and closed several times as the girl took a step back from Regulus. "You're scaring me a little," she whispered.

"Scaring you? How am I scaring you?"

"I don't know." She reached up with one hand and dragged it across her eyes while her other arm wrapped around her waist. "You just seem kinda...mental," she finished in a hesitant whisper.

"Mental? You think I'm mental?" Regulus yelled, bringing his face close to the girl's.

"N-no! I don't think that you're mental. I just said that you seem kinda -"

"Mental."

"Yes." Sarah ducked her head and wiped frantically at her eyes though the tears just continued to seep out. "I just wish you would calm down."

"You want me to _calm_ _down_?" Regulus repeated, his lips twisting into an angry snarl. "I would very much like to calm down!" he shouted. "But I can't do that, because when I leave the school to come out here and _calm_ _down_ I get followed!" He flung his hands towards Sarah and shook them dramatically. "Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't be so damn mental if I had five fucking minutes to...my...self!" he growled. The boy picked up Sarah's bag and threw it to her, uncaring if she was ready or not.

"Regulus, stop being so cruel," Sarah hissed as she let her bag fall to the ground again. "I'm just trying to be here for you. I'm just trying to love you."

Regulus twisted his face in disgust at the word _love_. "Look, Sarah, I've agreed to marry you, but you have got to stop with all that love bullshit. I'm getting really sick of hearing it."

"I do love you though!"

"You love my name! You love that I've got a powerful family and you love how rich you're going to be and you love that I'm much better looking than that Bragge guy they wanted to marry you off to. Don't look at me like that, I know all about him. He was...what thirty?"

"Thirty-two."

"See? You love the _idea_ of me, but you don't love me. You don't even know me," Regulus whispered in a condescending tone. His eyes darted off behind Sarah as Polaris' form came into view. He had been avoiding the dog for the last three weeks, after the near-attack on Bartemius. At that moment, he truly wanted to be around the creature though. He put his hand down and wiggled his fingers to call the dog.

"What are y- Oh, him!" Sarah scowled at the creature and narrowed her eyes up at Regulus. "You care more about that bloody useless mutt than you care about me!"

"Yes actually, I do!" Regulus shouted back.

"You're heartless! You stand there and tell me that I don't love you, but what the hell do you know? Huh? When have you ever been in love? When have you ever thought about someone else for more than two seconds in your entire stupid life?" Sarah snatched her bag up off the ground and burst out into a fit of tears.

"That just shows how little you know about me," Regulus hissed.

Sarah let out a teary laugh and shook her head. "You're so full of shit, Regulus! Who? Who have you ever _loved_? Not Elizabeth, that's for damn sure. Mulciber? Don't think I couldn't see the way that asshole stared at you on New Years. Is it him? Was I wrong about Barty and you're seeing that pathetic excuse for a human, Mulciber?"

"You're out of your damn mind, Sarah," Regulus growled at the girl.

"Then answer! Answer the question!" the girl shrieked, her hair flying wildly around her reddened face.

"I can't tell you," Regulus shouted, his own eyes filling with tears. "I can't tell you." He reached up and pressed his palms to his eyes and screamed at himself for being so weak as to let Anthony get to him after all the time that had passed.

"Y..." Sarah stared at her fiancé with wide eyes. "You're crying," she whispered, her voice almost fearful. "You don't cry."

"You need to leave," Regulus said as he desperately wiped at his eyes. "I will find you before dinner and we can talk, but you need to leave right now." He struggled to keep his voice and low and steady.

Sarah nodded and jogged back towards the castle, leaving Regulus and a whimpering Polaris behind. The boy dropped onto his knees and let a loud sob escape from his throat. The dog walked up to the crying boy and nuzzled against him, pushing himself into the boy's arms. Regulus eagerly embraced the creature and laid his face on the dog's neck, letting his tears fall onto the black fur.

"I did love him," Regulus whispered. "I really did." He tried his best to wipe away the tears, but new ones steadily replaced the removed. "It probably sounds insane to hear. If you could understand me, you'd be laughing at the thought. I mean...how does a person kill the guy they love?" he asked as he hugged Polaris tighter.

The dog let out a loud and heartbreaking whine making Regulus jump back. "Did I hurt you?" he asked in a panic. "I'm sorry boy, I didn't mean to squeeze you," he told the creature, petting his hands down his head and face. "I like having you around. We have a Hogsmeade weekend for Valentine's Day coming up. I'm gonna ask around and see if you have an owner. Maybe I can buy you and you can come live with me from now on."

"R-Regulus," came a quiet voice from behind the boy.

Regulus spun around and glared at Della Prang. He got to his feet and grabbed his bag, never taking his eyes of the girl. "Get lost," he spat at her.

"I need to tell you something," she argued quickly, her light green eyes wide and worried from behind her large glasses. "It's about Sarah."

"I don't wanna hear anything you have to say," Regulus said coldly. Polaris bit down on the hem of the boy's robe sleeve and tugged on it. "Bad dog," the boy said calmly. "No. I need to go inside." He pulled his sleeve from the creature's mouth and sneered at Della once more before walking off.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Okay, so Regulus is having himself a bit of a stressful time. A lot going on for him right now and not a lot he can do other than let it happen. What's Della trying to tell him? Ah, if I tell you it would ruin the surprises. Thank you all so much for reading so far. Wanted to give a big greeting to the new readers who I've picked up these last two weeks. Thank you to those of you who reviewed anonymously. Thanks everyone for reading. :D –Jenna**


	47. Shattered Pieces Hit the Floor

**Chapter 47: Shattered Pieces Hit the Floor**

**.**

Sarah twisted a strand of her golden blonde hair around her fingers and shifted on her bed. She reached her free hand over and let it pass softly over Regulus' chest, giving his tie a small flick. "You sure?" she whispered. "You're not gonna get all mad at me again, right?"

Regulus swallowed hard and sat up to get closer to Sarah. "I'm not gonna get mad." He pulled her hands into his own and closed his eyes to steady himself. "I told you I was sorry and I mean it. I shouldn't yell at you like that."

"I shouldn't have followed you," she offered weakly. "I shouldn't have said those things about...about Will or Ba-"

"It's fine," Regulus interrupted. "Just forget it. I don't blame you for jumping to those kind of conclusions. I'm not exactly the most loving guy. Just don't speak okay, let me talk." He took a long breath and squeezed her hands. "I was in love with a girl that I wasn't allowed to see. We got found out and had to end it and I've been a real mess over it." He stared into Sarah's eyes, hoping that the minor lie amongst the truth would be small enough to keep his deceit from showing. "But I don't need to take that out on you. We're going to be together for a long time and I promise you I'll try harder."

Sarah pulled her hands away and wrapped her arms tightly around Regulus' neck. "I'm so sorry I've been smothering. I only do it because I want to be around you. I'll give you more space and I'll be more patient with your issues."

Regulus felt like his heart was on fire but refused to push Sarah away. His thoughts trailed back to Christmas when he'd let the girl find out more than she should have. The memories of the punishment and the threats sent a cold chill down the boy's spine and caused him to shiver. He felt Sarah tense up and ran his hands over her back to soothe the girl. Another long breath settled his turning stomach and the boy pressed his lips to Sarah's neck.

Instantly the girl squeezed him tighter and melted into the affection. She pulled back and brought their lips together in a soft, gentle kiss, letting her hands drop to Regulus' tie and pull the knot free. A low whine escaped from their kiss and Sarah took it to mean that the boy was enjoying himself. Regulus closed his eyes tightly and slipped his hands on both sides of the girl's neck. He pushed against her, deepening their kiss until Sarah cried out with pain.

"Ow, Regulus not so rough," she whispered, putting her fingers over her lips. "Be easy." She laid back on the bed, her hair splaying across the pillow, and opened her arms to call him closer.

The boy gave an apologetic smile and leaned towards Sarah, falling into her arms as she wanted. He closed his eyes again and tried to still his racing heart. His hands shook slightly as he brushed them across the girl's smooth stomach just under her sweater. He brought his mouth down onto her neck and crinkled his nose at the wave of scented shampoo and perfume that stung him.

"Regulus, are you okay?" Sarah whispered, pushing him over to lay on the bed.

"I'm fine," he lied, his eyes still closed.

Sarah ran her hand down the boy's chest and carefully released the button on the boy's slacks.

"I'm not fine," he breathed out suddenly, pushing her hand away. Regulus put his hands to his face and took frantic breaths trying to calm himself down. His arm hairs prickled and his skin crawled with a heated sensation while his blood turned to ice and dragged shudders out of him. "Just give me a minute," he told her as he sat up and brought his knees to his chest.

"I can go to the kitchen and get something for you," she offered with a worried smile. "Some cooking sherry or something."

"No!" Regulus shook his head head roughly and scooted further away from the girl. "I don't need that stuff; I don't want it." He pushed his fingers into his hair and hung his head in shame. "I need to be away from you."

"What?" she gasped, crawling across the bed and grabbing onto Regulus' wrists. "Don't leave. You don't have to do anything, just stay here with me," she begged.

Regulus squirmed away from Sarah and climbed down from the bed. "No, I need to go. I need to be alone for a little bit." He grabbed his robes from where they lay on the floor and pulled them on as he started for the door. "I'm sorry," he called back to her before charging down the stairs and out into the hallways. The boy took a long gasping breath and leaned against the wall across the hall from the Ravenclaw common room entrance.

"Are you okay?"

Regulus felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see his brother staring at him with worried eyes. Off behind Sirius, Regulus could see Della watching on, her eyes just as worried. "I'm fine," the boy whispered, pushing his brother's hand away. "I'm just worn out. I was running," he lied.

"Running?"

"That's what I said!" Regulus shouted, pushing Sirius back away from him and storming off down the hallway. He could hear his brother yell his name several times before the sound grew distant and vanished. He slowed his pace to a stroll and headed back to the common room, not sure if he even wanted to go there or not.

The moment Regulus stepped into the common room, he regretted it. He barely had a chance to see what was happening before Evan Rosier had him pinned up against the wall, his arm pushing into Regulus' throat.

"I could kill you right now!" the boy growled.

"Get off me," Regulus tried to say though his words were strained from the assault. He grabbed the other boy's arm and pulled it down far enough to breath. "What's your problem?"

"My sister! She's bloody terrified and it's your fault," Evan shouted, pushing Regulus hard against the wall. "She wrote me a letter. Her and that Mulciber asshole are in some lousy country I can't even pronounce and she's _terrified_. She thinks they're being watched; followed."

"How is that my damn fault?" Regulus growled, shoving the boy back.

Evan waved the letter frantically in the boy's face and sneered at him. "You know where they are. You know and you've told someone! You're the reason they're scared!"

"I have no clue where they are!" Regulus yelled back. "But if you do, then I'd say that you should be telling _someone_."

"And get them killed?"

"No more than they deserve. They made their fucking choice!" Regulus shouted, pushing Evan again. "No one made them leave. They picked up and took off. They ditched you, they ditched me and they don't care one bit. I don't see why you care where she is anyways. Let her die!"

"She's my sister!"

"She's the enemy," Regulus replied in a cold and sharp tone. "You want this so bad -" he pointed to his left arm "- then you need to learn the difference."

It didn't matter that Regulus' arm was covered; it was clear Evan understood what he meant. The boy slowly lowered his hands to his sides and locked eyes with Regulus. "She's my sister," he whispered, his words almost pleading.

"Not anymore," Regulus answered in a whisper.

Evan opened and closed his mouth several times; unsure of what to say. He pulled his hands down his face and stared at the letter in his hands. "How? How do you just..." He looked up at Regulus and held out the letter, a look of distress on his face. "How can you just forget? How do stop caring?"

"You don't." Regulus glanced at the letter a moment and shook his head. "You don't stop caring. You just learn to stop letting it show." He pushed Evan out of his way and walked down the hallway to his bedroom, leaving the door opened as he stepped inside. He pulled his robes off and let them fall to the floor in a heap, then dropped heavily onto his bed.

"You're letting your temper get the better of you, Regulus," came a whisper.

"Shut the hell up, Barty. I'm not in the mood for you right now." Regulus sat up and glanced towards the door, expecting to see the blonde boy in question. When he found the doorway to be empty, he glanced around in search of the speaker. "Barty?" he called out quietly. When no reply came, Regulus slowly laid back down on his bed. "Very funny, Nelson," he spat at his roommates closed bed curtains, hoping the boy was actually behind them.

* * *

Regulus wasn't sure how long he had laid in his bed tossing and turning before he gave up. The boy flung back his covers and stuffed his feet into his night shoes before silently making his way into the common room, with his Charms book, to read by the fire. He let out a sharp cry as a figure already sitting in his place startled him.

"What are you doing in here?" he whispered, dropping onto the floor next to Bartemius.

"I'm here a lot," the other boy answered, his eyes focused hard on the fire. "You haven't been up this late in a long time," he added, glancing at Regulus.

"Had a hard day," Regulus mused, putting his book back behind him. "You couldn't sleep either?"

"Rarely can." Bartemius shifted onto his knees and smiled down at Regulus. "You gonna read?" he asked, picking up the boy's book. "Oh, it's just a school book."

"I haven't read my assignment from last week yet." The boy took his book back and stared up at Bartemius for a moment. "Can I ask you something?"

"No."

"I can't ask you something?"

Bartemius smirked and twisted his fingers up in his shirt hem. "My answer to your question is _no_."

"You don't know what I was gonna ask," Regulus grumbled, resting his weight back on his hands.

"You were gonna ask me if I think you should marry Sarah."

Regulus' eyes grew wide and he slowly shook his head. "That isn't what I was gonna ask," he said quietly. "I know you don't like her."

"Then what _were_ you gonna ask?"

"I'm not gonna tell you now, smart ass," Regulus teased, giving the boy a playful shove and knocking him over on the floor.

"Can I tell you something?" Bartemius asked as he struggled to sit back up.

"No," Regulus answered with a cheeky grin.

"I'm gonna tell you anyways." Bartemius settled himself next to the other boy and stared back into the dancing flames in front of them. "I like you better when you're smiling and having fun." He chewed on the ends of his nails and glanced at Regulus out of the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, well I like you better when you're not biting your nails," Regulus laughed as he pulled the boy's hand from his mouth and held onto it.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Feel free to tell me if you did -or didn't. Next chapter is gonna be the Valentine's Day Hogsmeade trip. :D –Jenna**


	48. Diamonds in the Dust

**Chapter 48: Diamonds in the Dust**

**.**

The Slytherin Quidditch team had practice the morning of the Hogsmeade Village visit. Regulus found it blissfully odd that Sarah hadn't put up a fuss about having to share her Valentine's Day with a tiny Snitch, but he didn't dare bring the subject to discussion. They agreed to meet in the village and Regulus was off to the Pitch. The boy was in a bad mood after practice due to the overworking from the single and bitter Captain. He and Bartemius lingered behind the others just as they always did, then headed towards the village together.

"What time are you meeting Sarah?" Bartemius asked, glancing down at his watch.

"Don't know. I don't wear a watch so she just said she'd find me when she could." Regulus gave a small shrug and cut his eyes over towards the blonde. "Did you have somewhere to be?" he asked cautiously.

Bartemius twisted his hands nervously and gave the other boy a wry smile. "I might have told someone I'd meet her for tea," he answered quietly.

"Who?"

"Fiona," Bartemius answered, staring at Regulus with a slightly worried face.

Regulus grinned over at the boy and raised his eyebrows. "Fiona Ackerley?" When the other boy nodded, Regulus did as well. "She's nice. I never really figured you'd be in to Hufflepuffs."

"I'm not...usually. But we have a few classes together and she's pretty smart and she's kinda funny and I'll just shut up." The boy ducked his head and stuffed his hands down in his pockets.

"Why are you acting so weird?"

"Because you have this...temper and I don't wanna end up on the wrong side of it."

Regulus stopped and grabbed onto Bartemius' arms, forcing the boy to turn towards him. "We're friends," he said pointedly. "That's it. Just friends. That little...incident was nothing. Just forget about it. I'm not going to get mad if you have a damn date. I'm happy for you."

"When you say forget about the incident, do you mean the first one or t-"

"Both of them," Regulus interrupted. "Just forget both of them. It was stupid and it only happened because I was upset. I don't want you that way. I just need a friend."

Bartemius smiled over at Regulus and turned back down the path. "Alright," he said. "So can I tell you about Fiona then?" he asked. And for the entire walk, the boy recounted the conversation he'd had in his last Defense class that led him to getting a date for Valentine's Day. "I don't meet her for another twenty minutes," he added as they stepped onto the crowded streets. "You wanna come to Gladrags with me? I need some new ties."

Regulus nodded eagerly, wanting to get off the busy street. He hovered around a display of pocket handkerchiefs while Bartemius placed his order, then took a deep breath before they headed back outside. The moment his feet hit the path, a set of large black paws was against his chest, knocking him to the ground.

"Polaris? What are you doing? Get off me!" Regulus cried out as he clambered to his feet with Bartemius' assistance.

The dog barked loudly, bringing shrieks out of some of the near-by girls. His entire body was alert and panicked. The creature bit down on Regulus' robe sleeve and pulled roughly at it. "Stop it. Bad dog. No," Regulus insisted but Polaris would have none of it. He continued to pull on the boy's sleeve until Regulus consented to go along with him.

"Regulus don't follow it. He's trying to get you alone to attack you or something," Bartemius cried out, following hesitantly behind the boy and dog. "He's dangerous."

"Only to you," Regulus argued in a matter-of-fact tone.

Bartemius grabbed onto Regulus' free arm and pulled him to a stop. "Regulus don't. I don't trust that dog; you need to stay away from it."

Polaris turned on the boys and gave a loud snarl. He lowered his head and bared his teeth at Bartemius, his lips quivering with a growl. After backing the blonde up against a wall, the creature grabbed onto Regulus sleeve and resumed pulling him. The dog pulled the boy back behind Tomes and Scrolls, the bookshop, and released him. Regulus stared down at Polaris in confusion for a moment, then let his eyes move up to the two figures also behind the bookshop: Sarah Bulstrode and Geoffrey Davies.

Sarah let out a loud gasp and jumped back from the boy she had been hugging. "Regulus," she whispered fearfully.

Regulus' eyes narrowed at the sight of the boy. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked, his voice hard. He slowly pushed his hand into his robes and drew out his wand, his fingers gripped around it so hard they paled. "I asked you a question, Mudblood," he sneered.

"Regulus don't! It isn't what you think, he's just my friend." Sarah grabbed onto Regulus wand hand and jumped in front of him, her eyes peering into his. "He's just a friend."

"Yeah, I am your friend," Geoffrey spoke up. "That's why I'm here! To get you away from this asshole." He put his hands on Sarah's shoulders and pulled her back away from Regulus, into his arms. "I've had enough of it."

"Get your filthy hands off her!" Regulus snapped, advancing towards the boy.

"Geoffrey, stop it! I love him."

"He treats you like dirt! You've told me so yourself."

"Writing letters about me?" Regulus asked, pushing Geoffrey back off of his fiancée.

"It wasn't like that. I just needed someone to talk to. Regulus, please."

Geoffrey stepped around the girl and pressed his wand into Regulus' chest. "You don't deserve her," the boy hissed into the other's face.

"And you think _you_ do?" Regulus laughed, slapping the wand away. "Don't pull that thing if you aren't man enough to use it."

"Oh, I'll use it!"

"Geoffrey don't!" Sarah threw herself into the boy's side and knocked him away from Regulus.

"Sarah you can't stay with him!" the boy shouted. "I won't let you. The last friend I left alone with that son of a bitch ended up dead!"

"Don't say that!" Sarah yelled through forming tears. "You don't know that. You don't _know_ that he's dead; you don't have proof."

"Oh, Anthony's dead alright," Regulus interjected with an eerie laugh. He stepped into Geoffrey and looked up into the boy's eyes. "Would you like proof? I'm sure there's still something of his lying around."

Geoffrey's blue eyes widened to the point it must have hurt and his fist slammed across Regulus' face. The shorter boy stumbled sideways with the force and let out another eerie laugh as he spat blood onto the ground. He slowly looked back towards Geoffrey and lunged at him, wand forgotten. He laid his own fist into the other boy's jaw and shook his hand with the pain it caused him as well. Geoffrey collapsed against a pile of discarded boxes behind the shop and hurried back to his feet. He charged at Regulus and slammed him back against the wall.

There was a bustle of movement as Geoffrey and Regulus' fight escalated. Sarah stood against the wall and screamed her insistence that they stop while Bartemius waited, wand at the ready, for any signs of Regulus needing his help. Polaris stood at Bartemius' heels, his head ducked and soft whimpering escaping him every time Geoffrey got the upper-hand.

"Break it up!" shouted a weak male voice from the back door of the bookshop. "I mean it. You kids get the hell out of here!" the owner continued. The boys continued their fight, much to the man's chagrin. He disappeared back into his shop and returned moments later with another man.

Professor Peakes, the Arithmancy professor, was a rather large man with a stern face and a no-nonsense attitude. He stared in shock at the commotion going on around him. "Black, Davies, separate now!" the man yelled, his voice strong and commanding. Getting no response, he pulled his wand and sent up a shield spell that knocked the boys apart and sent them sprawled out onto their backs.

Regulus let out a loud groan as he hit the ground. He cupped his hand to his bleeding nose and coughed out even more onto the ground. He could see his vision going blurry as his eyes began to swell from the attack. He looked over at Geoffrey and smiled seeing that the other boy bore just as much damage.

"I can't do anything to you," Professor Peakes growled down at Geoffrey. "You aren't in school anymore. But Black, you have detention for this. You too," he added, pointing towards Bartemius.

"What did I do?" the blonde cried out.

"You didn't do anything; that's the point. And don't think I can't see your wand out." The Professor spent the next few minutes helping out Geoffrey while Bartemius and Sarah pulled Regulus to his feet and returned his lost wand. "Miss Bulstrode, you have detention as well," the man called back to her. "You should have gotten an adult rather than just stand there."

The girl scowled at the Professor, but stayed silent. She conjured up a cloth and tried to press it to Regulus' mouth, but the boy jumped back.

"Keep your filthy hands off me," Regulus spat, taking a step back from her. "Give me the ring."

"No. Regulus, don't. I told you that there's nothing going on," Sarah cried, her face twisted in defeat.

"Nothing going on? You had your hands all over a disgusting Mudblood!"

"Black!" the Professor scolded just as Polaris launched into a barking fit. "Shut up, mutt," the man added, throwing his foot towards the dog.

Regulus rounded on the Professor and opened his mouth to lay into the man about threatening to kick Polaris, but he found a set of fingers over his lips. Bartemius shook his head and pleaded through his eyes for Regulus not to get into any more trouble. The boy snatched the cloth from Sarah's hand and pressed it lightly to Regulus' nose, trying to catch the blood that wouldn't stop seeping from him.

"Sorry," the blonde whispered as Regulus flinched under his care. He pushed his hand back through Regulus' hair to pull it from the boy's forehead and dabbed at his split lip. "You need the hospital wing," he whispered. "You look like shit."

"He looks worse, right?" Regulus whispered back, pain shooting through him when he smiled.

"He looks much worse," Bartemius answered, giving the boy a quick wink.

"Oh isn't this adorable!" Sarah jeered at Bartemius and Regulus. "Oh yeah, you two are _just_ _friends_. He's practically snogging you right here in front of all!" she screamed, her eyes locking onto Bartemius. "Get your hands off my fiancé," she threatened.

"I'm not your fiancé," Regulus argued, turning towards Sarah and holding the cloth to his own nose. "I just told you to give me the ring back. I don't have to put up with this. There's no way my parents are going to make me marry you after I tell them how you were pawing a Mudblood."

"Regulus Black, if I hear that word one more time, you're in serious trouble," Professor Peakes yelled.

Sarah pried the ring off her finger and threw it childishly down the road. "You'll regret this," she whispered. "You _will_ regret it."

Regulus rolled his eyes and summoned the ring to himself with no effort whatsoever. "I've regretted every day that I've spent with you. This one actually has an upside," he laughed before turning away from the girl and starting towards the school. "Go on your date, Barty. I can see the nurse alone," he called back when it was clear the blonde meant to follow.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thus ends the Regulus/Sarah saga. You knew they couldn't get married, it just isn't canon for him. :P Would LOVE to know what you thought of this chapter. If you're wondering what Regulus and Barty meant by the "other incident" well that was just a little something that happened after the end of the last chapter. Leave me some thoughts and thanks for reading. :D –Jenna**


	49. Flicker Back Into Darkness

**Chapter 49: Flicker Back Into Darkness**

**.**

"Wands." The hard nosed Professor Peakes held his hands out to the crestfallen Regulus and Bartemius. When the boys reluctantly dropped their wands into the man's hands, he pulled them away and scowled down at the students. "No talking. No laughing. No smiling. Just polish the trophies and don't make me give you any more detentions." He kicked a tray containing metal polish and rags over to the boys, then turned sharply and marched out of the Trophy Room.

Regulus muttered profanities under his breath as he grabbed one of the cloths and the bottle of metal polish. "Can't we just do stupid lines," he complained as he pulled open the first case and grabbed a Quidditch plaque.

"I don't know," Bartemius sighed as he grabbed up a cloth and joined the boy. "I'd rather do this, actually. I get enough writing with all the essays."

"If you didn't take so many classes that wouldn't be a problem," Regulus teased.

Bartemius merely smirked and turned his attention to getting through the detention. Despite the Professor's instructions not to talk, the boys discussed classes, sugar quills, Bartemius' first date with Fiona Ackerley and whether or not the Ballycastle Bats stood a chance for the next World Cup. After an hour and a half, Regulus leaned back against one of the trophy cases and sighed.

"This is so boring," the boy whined.

Bartemius stepped up in front of him and slid the bottle of metal polish from Regulus' fingers. "I don't think it's boring. I like talking to you."

"I didn't – No," Regulus replied, shaking his head. "I didn't mean _you_ were boring. I meant that the -"

"I know what you meant," Bartemius interrupted with a cheeky grin. He licked over his lips and stepped a bit closer to the other boy. "Your eyes look better; not even swollen," he mused. "Still bruised a little though."

Regulus reached up and touched the underside of his right eye subconsciously. He flinched at the strong odor of metal polish on his fingers and frowned at his hand. "Yeah, the nurse gave me some paste...stuff. Stung like hell, but it worked. She said the bruising would go away by tomorrow."

"Maybe you shouldn't use it. The bruises look...tough."

Regulus gave a laugh at the other boy's words and sought out his brown eyes. "Tough, huh?" he whispered. His heart raced and his breath grew shallow as he held the boy's gaze. "Is, um...is that a good...thing?" he whispered.

Bartemius nodded and leaned forward with clear intent. He placed his hand on the case beside Regulus' head and rested his weight against it while he brought his mouth against the other boy's. No sooner than the kiss started, it was over as Regulus stepped out from under the blonde.

"Don't," Regulus whispered with a shuddered breath. He shook his head and put his hands up in front of him. "Don't do that. Please...don't." He stared down at the rag in his hand and twisted it around his fingers as he tried to steady his pounding heart.

"You're really stubborn," Bartemius sighed.

"It isn't being stubborn, it's being... I don't know. It doesn't...doesn't seem right, I guess," the boy whispered, not looking up. "You have a girlfriend; save that stuff for her."

"Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I wanna save it for you."

"Don't be stupid; you don't mean that and I know it. I don't need you to put on some act for me." Regulus threw a desperate look to the other boy and frowned. "It's hard enough, alright? It really is. It's hard enough to deal with what happened with Sarah and my parents are absolutely furious about it and my cousin has been none too light handed on the threats and that stupid Delba-Della bint won't stop following me and my stupid brother won't stop following me."

"Sorry," said Bartemius. He grabbed onto Regulus' wrist and pulled the boy close. "I'm not trying to be more stress. I'm trying to take it away." He smiled softly at the other boy and brushed his nose over Regulus', letting their warm skin make the slightest of contact. "Don't punish yourself," he whispered, his words spilling over the boy's lips.

"I'm not," Regulus argued, his words slipping out with barely any sound.

"Then let yourself have something _you_ want," the blonde whispered as he closed the minuet space still lingering between them. He parted his lips and gently moved them against the other boy's, taking care to be soft and slow.

Regulus felt himself go weak under the other boy's lips and his blood heat from the intimacy. He let out a small whimper and forced his body to take a step back. "We can't," he pleaded.

"Why?" Bartemius looked completely dumbstruck.

"Because I don't wanna lose you too," Regulus answered, dropping his eyes to the floor. "I really, really need a friend right now!"

A loud throat-clearing cough broke across the growing awkward silence in the Trophy Room. "See a lot of standing and not a lot of polishing," Professor Peakes growled. "Your time's up anyways. Get out of here." The man thumbed over his shoulder and glared at Bartemius and Regulus as they put their polishing rags into the tray and hurried out.

"He's such an asshole," Regulus said as he and Bartemius started down the hallway towards the dungeons. "He failed me on my last essay even though it was perfect. I worked four bloody hours on that thing and it got a D."

"You sure you just didn't have it all wrong?" Bartemius asked with a smirk. When Regulus turned and scowled at him, the blonde threw his hands up in surrender. "Kidding. Don't get all mad at me." He reached out and slipped his hand into Regulus' to pull the boy off course.

Regulus flinched but allowed the other boy to lead him into the boys' bathroom on the third floor. "Are you suddenly a female now? Need to have company to piss?" He laughed and pulled his hand out of Bartemius' tight grip.

"I'm glad Sarah's out of your life," the blonde blurted out without a shred of hesitation. "I hated that girl the moment I met her and she made you miserable." When Regulus opened his mouth to speak, Bartemius held up his finger and frowned the boy into silence. "As grateful to that..._dog_ as I may be for getting rid of her, you have _got_ to see that there's something going on with it."

"I do."

"Regulus, it is just too convenient. The way he's always popping up when you're around. The way he seems to know what I'm saying. The way he led you to Sarah like that. There's something wrong with the whole situation."

"I completely agree."

"And I know that you like him, but you can't keep letting your feelings blo- Wait, you agree?" Bartemius stepped back from his rant and stared at the other boy in shock. "You haven't said a word about him since the whole Davies thing. What do you mean that you agree?"

Regulus tilted his head and bit down hard on his bottom lip. "I didn't wanna see it. The way he was always...smarter than he shoulda been. I liked having him around, but when he showed me what was going on with Sarah, I couldn't just ignore it."

"You know what the thing is, right?" Bartemius nodded, hoping that Regulus was on the same path of thought as himself. "Bloody Animagus."

"I know." Regulus stepped around the other boy and leaned over the sinks to start scrubbing his hands with soap and water as the smell of metal polish was irritating him.

"And you know _who_ it is, don't you?" Bartemius prompted, his eyes gleaming in an eerie joy.

Regulus nodded. "Yeah." He slammed his hand into the handle and shut off the tap. "I know exactly who it is."

* * *

Every day for nearly a week, Regulus took a walk along the edge of the forbidden forest, waiting for Polaris to come along. He was growing more and more agitated at the creature's absence until on the sixth day a dark figure loomed in the distance. The dog stood alert, watching Regulus move. The boy's lips curled into a smile and he waved his hands excitedly to the dog.

"Polaris! Come here boy, come on!" Regulus cried out, his voice hitting the peak of excitement.

Polaris' tongue lolled out of his mouth and the dog bounded happily across the grounds, jumping straight up into Regulus' arms and knocking the boy onto the ground. Regulus laughed and pet his fingers through the dog's fur affectionately.

"I've missed you boy," he insisted with a smile. He scrambled up to his feet and dusted the debris from his backside. "Wanna play?" he asked as he broke a dead-hanging stick from the nearest tree.

The dog's tail wagged with excitement and Regulus threw the stick. Twice, Polaris fetched the stick and brought it back to a smiling Regulus. On the third time, the boy pried the stick from the dog's teeth and let it drop carelessly to the ground. He reached into his robes and slipped his wand out. Still beaming a smile, he pointed his wand straight at the dog.

Polaris flinched.

"It's funny for a dog to fear one stick and not another," Regulus mused. He tightened his grip on his wand and twisted his lips into a sneer. "You fucked up," he hissed at the dog. "You had me so fooled and you blew it." He let out a shuddered and broken laugh as he peered down into the now-shaking dog's eyes. "Was it good for a laugh?" he asked coldly.

Polaris' body stiffened up and he jerked towards the forest, only to have Regulus block his path.

"I bet you and your little Auror buddies sat around having a good chuckle at all the things you heard. Too bad you never got what you wanted, huh?" Regulus took a step closer to the dog and pressed his lips tightly together. "It was a stupid plan. Full points for creativity, but it was stupid. What, did you think that you'd cozy up to me and I'd tell all the Dark Lord's secrets to a stupid dog?"

The creature pulled back, bringing one foot up to his chest as he tilted his head and furrowed his brow at Regulus. A small questioning whine escaped the dog's lips.

"Or were you trying to get closer? You seemed really excited when I wanted to take you home. Was that the plan?" Regulus shouted, his breathing growing strained and frantic. "Get me to take you to my house? To my _home_! Take you into my life and you could do all the spying you wanted?"

Polaris jerked towards the forest again, but just as before, Regulus blocked his escape. A loud whimper came out of the dog as he stared up at the boy.

Regulus advanced on the creature more and stared down at him with a look of pure hate. "What I don't understand is why you'd risk your cover to take me to Sarah." The boy gave an uncaring shrug and narrowed his eyes. "Time to die, doggy. I'll be sure to send flowers to your funeral. After all, you'll die a hero!" The boy lifted his wand and pointed it straight between the dog's eyes.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: OH NO! REGULUS IS GONNA KILL POLARIS! *awkward silence* Yeah, I don't think anyone is actually panicking over this, but it's still a tense moment. Anyways, let me know what you thought of the chapter. Thank you so much for reading. Cannot believe that the next chapter is number 50! To think, I thought this would hit 40 chapters max when I made the first draft of the outline. :D –Jenna**


	50. Just Breathe

**Chapter 50: Just Breathe**

**.**

Regulus' heart pounded heavily in his chest as his angry grey eyes bore down into Polaris'. The boy's hand shook just slightly as he gripped his wand so tight the blood drained in his fingers, leaving them pallid. He dragged the palm of his right hand across his forehead to clear it of the cold sweat breaking his skin. "Just kill it," the boy hissed at himself.

Polaris' body tensed up and his light eyes darted to the edge of the forest; his salvation. The creature gave a quiet whimper and stared back up at his potential death. The dark-haired boy took frantic breaths, trying to ease the burning in his lungs. He couldn't understand the problem. He'd killed before, several times in fact, and there was no reason the disguised Auror or spy should be spared. His skin tingled with heat and the hairs on his arm stood upright as he took a step closer to the Animagus and parted his lips.

Hesitation washed over Regulus, making his mouth run dry. The boy opened his hand, letting the wand drop like a stone onto the ground beside Polaris' shaking form. The Slytherin's jaw tightened and his eyes closed as he began to shiver violently. "Go," he whispered so quietly it was almost inaudible.

The dog didn't waste his chance. He bolted to the forest and disappeared into its depths. Regulus watched the spot where Polaris entered, his breathing growing more and more shallow. His vision blurred and tunneled on the tiny spot at the edge of the trees. The boy put his hand on his chest and leaned himself over, trying desperately to regain himself. His breaths became loud and gasping and his head swam with dizziness.

A pair of hands grabbed onto Regulus' shoulders as he sank to his knees on the cold hard ground, his legs no longer able to support him. Distantly he could hear someone saying his name over and over, but the voice was lost to him. "Don't touch me!" he cried out, his voice breaking as he struggled to push the person away.

"Regulus, just calm down. Relax," the voice pleaded as a pair of arms wrapped around the boy's chest protectively. "Breathe, damn it!"

Regulus twisted and squirmed in the tight hold, his body fighting for freedom. "Get...stop...no." He dug his fingertips into the arms around him and kicked his feet in the person's general direction. His hands hit the ground and he clawed at the dirt to pull himself away.

"Stop fighting, Regulus, you're having an attack. Just relax. Please breathe!" Hands grabbed onto the panicking boy's face and shook him in desperation. "Breathe you idiot!"

"I can't..." And his words died as the boy collapsed onto the ground.

* * *

"Mister Black, can you hear me?" came Madam Pomfrey's voice.

Regulus slowly forced his eyes open, wincing in pain as the light hit him. He watched the nurse through blurry eyes as she rushed to shut off the light directly above his bed. "Where...?" He pushed himself to sit up and frowned angrily as he was met with the sight of the Hospital Wing. "...the hell?"

"You fainted, Mister Black." Madam Pomfrey handed the boy a vial of potion that he swallowed back without a single question. She smirked when he pulled a disgusted face and took the empty container back from him. "You students always think that medicine should taste good. It's magic, not miracles."

Regulus muttered an agreement and laid his head back onto the pillow behind him. "Fainted?"

"Well, that's what I was told. You were unconscious when you got here. I'm concerned about this." The woman tugged the blanket up over Regulus' chest and gave him a sympathetic look. "What's the last thing you can remember?"

The boy cut his eyes away and gave an indifferent shrug.

"If you don't tell me what you were doing, I can't help you. Do you even wa-"

"He was outside," Bartemius cut in as he stepped into the curtained-off area and closed it back behind him. "He was outside in the cold. It probably just got to be too much."

Madam Pomfrey eyed the newcomer with a scowl and shook her head. "This is a serious problem, Mister Crouch. If he's suffering from this kind of thing often, it could mean th-"

"I want to be alone," Regulus interrupted the woman. "Like Barty said, I was outside too long. This kind of thing never happens," he lied, his eyes locking down on the blanket.

"Mister Black, this isn't a -"

"I'm leaving." Regulus tossed the covers back and slipped his feet onto the floor. The boy grabbed onto Bartemius as his legs almost gave way underneath him. "Damn it," he gasped, trying to pull himself together. He started out of the curtain, taking his wand from Bartemius when the boy grabbed it off the side table. He let the blonde help him out into the hallway, then leaned back against the wall. "What happened?" he asked in whisper as he sank to the floor.

"I don't know," Bartemius answered, squatting in front of him. "I wasn't there. I heard someone talking about it in the Great Hall and came up."

"How did you know I was outside then?"

"I didn't. I just figured it sounded plausible, so I went with it." Bartemius looked up and down the hallway, twisting his lips in annoyance at the heavy crowding. "Do you wanna go to your room?"

Regulus shook his head and closed his eyes. "I just need a minute," he answered. "I wanna know who was out there. Someone was outside, they tried to help me."

"I don't know who it was," the blonde answered. "You could ask Madam Pomfrey." When Regulus shook his head again, Bartemius shrugged. "Does it really matter? Just be glad someone brought you in." The boy straightened out the sleeve of Regulus' robes and let his hand linger on the other boy's shoulder. "Are you sure you're alright? You don't look very good. Maybe you should go back."

"No," the other boy snapped, swatting the boy's hand away and pushing himself to his feet. "I need to see Professor Dumbledore."

"What?"

"You heard me. I need to see Dumbledore." Regulus started towards the Headmaster's office, his vision still a bit dreary and his legs weak. Upon rounding the corner, he found himself face-to-face with the very man he had been seeking out. "Professor," the boy said wryly.

"Ah, Mister Black, just the person I was coming to see. Aren't you meant to be in the Hospital Wing?" the old man asked, looking over Regulus from behind his spectacles.

"I left. I wanted to t- Wait, you were coming to see me? Why?"

Professor Dumbledore gave a small smile and tipped his head to Bartemius when the boy joined them. "Word came to my ears that you fell ill on the grounds. I wanted to see that you had pulled through."

"Did that word come from your little spy?" Regulus snarled.

"I'm afraid I've no idea what spy you're speaking of. I heard this from your brother."

"The spy I'm speaking of is that damn dog you've got parading around the grounds!" Regulus yelled, his head spinning with his own exertion. "It's over though. He's been found out. So whatever game you or the Ministry is trying to play...it's over!"

"Regulus, he's the Headmaster," Bartemius scolded of the other boy's angry tone.

"I don't care!"

"Mister Black, I have no earthly idea what you're talking about," the old man insisted. "Dogs and spies? Perhaps you should go back to the Hospital Wing."

"Don't you patronize me, old man," Regulus argued.

"Regulus!" Bartemius grabbed onto the boy's arm and forced him to turn towards him. "Stop it. You're going to get in a lot of trouble."

Professor Dumbledore hummed in agreement. "You should listen to your...friend," the man said smoothly, his eyes lingering on the way the blonde boy's fingers were curled around Regulus' arm.

Regulus looked back to the Professor and jerked out of Bartemius' hold. "You can stand there and pretend like you don't what I'm talking about, but the Ministry wouldn't have sent an Animagus to spy on me without your permission to come onto the grounds."

"Regulus, no," Bartemius hissed in the boy's ear, sending a shiver down his spine. "He doesn't know what you're talking about." The boy met Regulus' eyes and shook his head slightly. "He's not lying."

"I don't trust him."

"Well do you trust _me_?"

Regulus tensed his body and pulled his gaze away from the chocolate brown eyes probing him. "I don't trust anyone," he answered coldly. He stepped away from the scene, leaving Bartemius and the Headmaster speechless. By the time he made it back to the Slytherin common room, the boy was exhausted and angry. He fell onto his bed and within moments, he was pulled into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Regulus was called out of his Transfigurations class the following morning. The Headmaster stood across the hallway, looking wise and humble, with a smile etched faintly on his lips. He gave a small laugh at the way Regulus rolled his eyes and hesitantly joined the man for a stroll down the hallways.

"Am I in trouble?" Regulus sighed after a stretched silence.

"No," Professor Dumbledore replied. "Though...I will take action if you let your tongue continue to get the best of you."

"Then what is this about?" the boy asked, holding a civil tone.

"What you said to Mister Crouch...I found it very saddening that you cannot trust someone who clearly has your best interest at heart. Or anyone, for that matter. Tell me, do you know who T. S. Eliot is?" the old man asked, glancing back at Regulus with knowing eyes. "I don't imagine you do. He was a _Muggle_ poet and a playwright as well. Brilliant man. He once said that no soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."

"So now you're concerned about my soul?" the boy laughed, staring up at the old man with a smirk.

"Most certainly," Professor Dumbledore answered, shocked at the boy's question. "And I'm not the only one concerned with the condition of your soul right now. Or your health," the man continued. "Your brother was quite shaken over what happened to you. He said that when you were younger that happened a lot. Why didn't you tell Madam Pomfrey?"

"Because it isn't her business and it isn't yours either. I just got...upset. It isn't a big deal."

"What were you so upset about?" the man asked innocently.

Regulus snorted in amusement, his eyes narrowing at the Headmaster. "Is this the part where I break down and tell you every dirty little secret I have? You think I'm going to sit in your office and have candy and cry on your desk about my family and mates and tell you how I want to change?"

"_Do_ you want to change?"

"I have to go, Professor." The boy came to a stop and looked back down the hallway towards his classroom. "You can tell my brother that my soul isn't his concern anymore."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thank you, thank you for reading. Don't forget to leave a few words of thought in that little review box. Let me know what you think of Dumbledore's words about souls and trust and of course, you should know that Sirius is the one who saved Regulus outside. Again, thank you.**

**Oh, gosh, Chapter 50! I wanna dedicate this one to SarahXxUnlovedxX who has been such a loyal reader and reviewer. Thank you! :D –Jenna**

"**No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence." - T. S. Eliot**


	51. Books & Trust

**Chapter 51: Books & Trust**

**.**

Grey eyes watched Bartemius from across the crowded Slytherin common room. The boy was sitting on the end of a leather sofa, his legs tucked underneath him and his fingernails being chewed at intently as he flipped quickly through his Charms book. He reached up and pulled angrily at his blonde hair, shaking his head in frustration. A muttered hostility broke the boy's silence as he shoved the book angrily off his lap and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Barty," Regulus whispered distantly as he walked over and lifted the other boy's thrown book. "What's wrong?" he asked as he lowered himself onto the spot next to Bartemius.

"I can't remember _anything_," the other boy answered as he tugged at his tie in an effort to pull it from his neck. The silk knot tightened from being mishandled and caused the boy to growl at himself. "I can't even get this damn...it won't..." He twisted his face in defeat and dragged his fingers back through his hair, pulling at it once more.

Regulus stared at his friend with a sad smile and carefully loosened the knot on the boy's tie. "Calm down. You're getting yourself so worked up. What do you mean you can't remember anything?" he asked in a smooth tone, trying not to agitate the already upset boy. He slid the emerald silk from around the boy's neck and twisted it around his own hand.

"It's like my head is empty. I can't remember simple first year charms, I can't remember the effects of daisies in a potion, I can't even remember the spell to transfigure a rabbit into a -"

"Barty, stop!" Regulus insisted, grabbing the boy by the shoulders. "You know this stuff. You're letting yourself get worried about O.W.L.s but you shouldn't. You _know_ this stuff. You're a bloody genius and you have over three months still." He held up Bartemius' Charms book and slid it into the boy's bag. "Just take a break."

"I can't," the blonde answered, reaching for his bag.

Regulus swatted at the boy's hand and shook his head. "Take a break. Fretting isn't going to do anything but make your hair fall out."

Bartemius reached up and grabbed onto his disheveled blonde locks, staring at Regulus with a look of pure horror on his face. "Don't say that!"

The dark-haired boy couldn't help but laugh. "Let's go for a walk." When the other boy shook his head and pulled his bag into his lap, Regulus frowned. "You always want to go on walks. Are...are you still mad at me for what I said the other day?"

"I'm not mad. I'm busy," the blonde answered coldly. After pulling his book back out, Bartemius looked over at Regulus and narrowed his eyes. "Actually...yes. Yes I am mad at you. I'm very mad at you for what you said."

"Look, I was just angry."

"So you _do_ trust me then?"

Regulus snapped his teeth together and glanced off across the common room. "I didn't mean to make you mad."

"That...you..." Bartemius looked down into his lap and shook his head. "You're such an asshole."

"What?" Regulus cried out, tightening his fist around the tie still in his hand.

"You heard me!" the blonde yelled, drawing the attention of the entire common room. "I'm going to study in the library. Just leave me alone." He hastily shoved his book back into his bag and swung it up onto his shoulder as he got to his feet.

"Barty, wait!" Regulus called out, moving to follow the boy. He flinched when a figure blocked his path. "Move, Rosier, I'm busy," he growled.

"I need to talk to you," Evan insisted, wrapping his arms around his shaking body. The boy's eyes were red and distant and his face looked lifeless and cold. "Just for a minute," he pleaded, his voice lost of its usual commanding tone and arrogance.

"I said I'm busy!" Regulus stepped around the boy and charged out of the common room after Bartemius. "Barty, stop." He raced down the hallway and caught the boy by the arm, spinning him around and forcing him back against the wall. "I'm sorry okay?"

"No, it isn't okay. I thought we were...well I'm not sure what we are but I thought that we had trust."

Regulus closed his eyes and took a long breath, his head shaking with confusion. "We are. It isn't...it's hard to..." The boy went silent as a small group of students moved past them in the corridor. "You drive me insane," he whispered when the others were out of hearing range.

"Oh, lovely sentiment." Bartemius rolled his eyes and tried to step away from the other boy.

The older boy hooked his arm around the other's waist and gently pushed him back up against the wall. "I meant in a good way," he clarified. "You're annoying and you talk too much and you care about your hair more than any bloke should and sometimes I just want to hex your mouth shut and you ma-"

"So much for the _good_ way," Bartemius snorted.

"And despite all those things," Regulus continued, picking his voice up to cover the other boy's huffs, "I still love having you around. You can make me laugh no matter how mad I am and you always seem to know exactly what to say and what to do and you make me really..." The boy trailed off with a blush and ducked his head.

"Make you really what?" Bartemius asked with a growing smile.

Regulus peeked up at the other boy from under his lashes and smiled. "Don't play dumb," he laughed.

Bartemius smoothed his hand over Regulus', smirking as he realized that his own tie was still wound around the boy's fingers. "But you don't trust me," he whispered, pulling the boy closer. "I trust you," he offered. "I completely trust you, and I thought you did too."

"It isn't _you_. It's everyone. I don't trust anyone, not anymore."

"But this is _me_! Just me," Bartemius said, stepping away from Regulus and letting his bag fall to the floor. "I'm not anyone! I'm one person. You can't trust one person?"

"No!"

"Why not?" the blonde all but yelled.

Regulus gritted his teeth and grabbed onto the other boy's hands, pulling him back over so that they could speak quietly. "First person I ever trusted was my brother," he whispered, sighing as Bartemius' eyes grew soft. "And he went off to school and got himself a whole new family. Came home calling that Potter jerk his brother. Didn't want anything to do with me anymore."

"But that's just o-"

"Topher. I trusted him with ever- almost everything I could. And what did he do? Tell me."

"He left," Bartemius whispered.

"He left," Regulus repeated in confirmation. He stared down at their still-joined hands and laced their fingers together, throwing one quick glance down the corridor to ensure they were alone. "It's hard for me to do this," he whispered, nodding towards their hands. "It's really hard for me to be this close to you. It makes it difficult to breathe and when you...kiss me it makes me feel kinda dizzy. But I keep trying. Isn't that enough for you?"

"No," the blonde answered honestly. "I'm glad that you try but it isn't enough. I've not done a thing to make you not trust me. I never said a word to Sarah about _this_ and I never would have. I wouldn't tell anyone. I would never betray your trust, but you're punishing me for what he did."

"I'm not punishing you for what my brother did."

"I didn't say Sirius. And not Topher either." Bartemius twisted his face in upset and squeezed Regulus' hand. "I'm talking about Anthony. Don't even start to deny it," he said quickly when the other boy's mouth opened.

"I was gonna ask how you knew," Regulus snipped, pulling away from the other boy and leaning back against the wall.

Bartemius smirked and leaned beside the other boy. "I'm a genius, remember?" He licked his lips and stared down at the floor by his feet. "There were rumors last year. After you got into that fight in the library and some people said they'd seen you together. But what really tipped it off was that..._that_ _damn_ _book_," he said, snarling the last of his words. "You care more about that bloody book than you do other people. You almost took my head off the first time I found it!" He rounded on Regulus and curled his hands into fists, his eyes growing angry. "If I didn't think you'd curse me for it, I'd pitch the thing into the fire and laugh as it burned!"

"Barty, I -"

"Have you ever tried competing with a dead person?" the blonde hissed, his hands starting to shake. "It isn't easy. Everything I do, everything I say, I always wonder if you're comparing it to _him_. What was so bloody special about that son of a bitch, huh?"

"He -"

"He was a Mudblood! And a liar on top of it! He broke your trust and now you can't trust me." The boy forced his hands open and grabbed his bag off the ground. "I stand by what I said before: you're an asshole, Regulus."

The stunned boy watched Bartemius start off down the hallway. "What about you?" he called out. "I never said I was perfect you know?" He waited as the blonde turned back to him and raised his eyebrows in question. "I never claimed to be perfect, I know that I screw up, but what about you? You stand here and you go after me because I can't trust you; I barely _know_ you!"

"Barely...know...me?" Bartemius tilted his head and widened his eyes. "I've told you everything there is to know about me. I've told you about my dad, I told you about -"

"That's not what I mean," Regulus interrupted. "Yes, you've told me things but I've only known you for...what? Six months." He reached for the other boy, but Bartemius stepped out of the way. "Fine! Just walk away then!" the boy suddenly yelled. "You never truly gave a shit anyways. The only reason you even started talking to me was for this!" He ripped back his left sleeve and waved his Dark Mark under the other boy's nose. "Four years you could have come up and talked to me, but you didn't. Not until the rumors started up that I had this."

"You're right," the boy whispered. "I didn't want anything to do with you before that." He laid his hand over Regulus' arm and pushed it away. "I didn't really want anything to do with anyone. I didn't have friends because I _chose_ not to. And when I heard that you had met the Dark Lord...I wanted to meet you. Properly, that is."

"See?" Regulus waved his hand towards Bartemius in a there-it-is fashion and turned his back on the boy. "You got what you wanted, so why did you stick around?"

Bartemius' hands slipped over the older boy's hips and his chin rested on the boy's shoulder. "Because you're stubborn as hell," he whispered, pressing his face into Regulus' neck and smirking when the boy shivered. "If you'd have shown me right away, I'd have left. You didn't though, you made me wait for it." He closed his eyes and trailed his fingertips over Regulus' stomach.

Regulus caught the other boy's hand and took a deep breath. "Then why did you stay?" he breathed out.

"Do you really have to ask?" the other boy whispered, pressing his lips to the back of Regulus' neck. "I wasn't lying when I said I wasn't gay. I _do_ like girls," he insisted. He pulled his hand out of the boy's hold and hugged his arms tightly around Regulus' waist. "I just like you more."

"Black!" Evan Rosier's voice cut through the hallway and sent a cold chill down both Regulus and Bartemius' spine, making them jump apart. "You two can fuck around later. I _need_ to talk to you!"

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Lots of talking in this one, but I really hope that you enjoyed it nonetheless. Thank you for reading and let me know how you're liking it so far! :D –Jenna**


	52. Another Casualty of War

**Chapter 52: Another Casualty of War**

**.**

Regulus sat on the end of his bed, his hands clasped tightly together and his grey eyes narrowed at Evan Rosier. He watched in silence as the older boy slammed the door to the dormitory, sealing out the prying eyes and ears of any others. Evan turned towards Regulus and opened his mouth, his words hanging in his throat. The boy paced in silence, his breathing growing more and more heavy.

"Rosier, I really don't have all day to sit here and wait fo-"

"Just shut up, Black!" Evan snapped, rounding on the dark-haired boy. "I'm trying!" He stomped over to stand in front of the younger boy and stared down at him, his eyes alight with loathing. "I did what you told me too," he hissed. At Regulus' baffled expression, Evan reached out and knocked the boy in the ear with his fist. "I told my father where Elizabeth was!" he shouted.

Regulus rubbed at the side of his head and glared up at Evan, but he didn't make an attempt at retaliation. Instead, he tightened his jaw with worry and waited for the boy to continue. "And...?" he prompted when Evan showed no signs of finishing on his own accord.

"And...he sent someone after her. Not...not just her. Mu-" The boy cut himself off and shook his head. "Mulciber was in a lot of trouble for running off with her like that. The Dark Lord...he doesn't exactly like it when -"

"Don't you try and tell _me_ what the Dark Lord does and doesn't like," Regulus sneered. "Get the hell on with it. Did they drag Topher back?"

Evan slowly shook his head and cut his eyes towards the other boy. "No," he whispered. "They tried, but he put up a fight."

"What the hell does that mean!" Regulus yelled, jumping to his feet and grabbing the older boy by his sweater. "Did they hurt him?"

"H...he's dead," Evan answered quietly. He closed his eyes and waited for Regulus to release his sweater before going on. "What did you expect? He tried to fight off four men on his own."

Regulus held up his hand and frowned at Evan. "That's enough. Just shut the hell up!" He dropped back onto the edge of his bed and stared over at the forsaken bed that was Topher's a mere three months prior. "Fuck," he spat out, his entire body shivering at the thought of his best friend being dead. He ground his teeth together painfully and looked back up at Evan. "And Elizabeth?" he whispered.

"Like you care," the older boy growled.

"I do!" Regulus slammed his hand down on his night stand, not caring when half of his belongings toppled onto the floor and scattered. "I know that things didn't end well between us...but there was a time when I cared about her. I...I _did_ care about her. If it wasn't for..." He stared back down at the floor and took a long deep breath.

Evan slowly walked over to the other boy and took a seat next to him on the bed. "Father said she put up a fight too; a hell of a good one. She almost killed Gibbon. They managed to stun her though; got her back home."

"That's not all of it," Regulus stated. "I can tell by your face; just tell me what happened."

"She...she didn't _want_ to come back. She loved that stupid git and they killed him and she was...father said she tore her room apart, screaming and crying." He stared down at the floor and twisted his hands in front of him. "She k...she kill – I can't even say it!"

"She's dead?" Regulus whispered, his eyes widening with understanding. When Evan nodded, Regulus forced down the urge to cry out in shock. "I can't believe she would do that." He bit down hard on his bottom lip and closed his eyes as the bitter taste of blood seeped over his tongue.

"It's all my fault. I shouldn't have told him. I should not have told him where they were!"

"You didn't have a choice!" Regulus argued. "This is _war_. It isn't fun, it isn't pretty and it damn sure isn't happy but it's the right thing to do. You don't think that twinge of guilt is creeping into my stomach too? Because it is. He -" The boy stopped and let his eyes move once more to Topher's bed. "He was my best mate and now..."

"And now he's dead," Evan finished coldly. "They're both dead." The boy's jaw stiffened and his back ran rigid, giving him more height over Regulus than he already had. "But you're right," he added, looking back to the other boy. "This is war."

* * *

"Regulus!"

Regulus startled to attention at the sound of his name and sat up straight, trying to focus his eyes. "What?" he asked in a feigned tone of annoyance. He raised his eyebrows at Bartemius and held out his hands in confusion. "What? Why are you yelling at me?"

Bartemius cocked his head to the side and smirked. "I've said your name about ten times now," he answered, giving a small laugh. He leaned across the dinner table and stared into the older boy's eyes, analyzing him. "Are you alright?"

"Not really," the boy answered honestly. "I keep thinking about Topher and..." He shook his head and dropped his gaze to his untouched food.

"And what?"

"It's not important," Regulus muttered.

"It is. Just tell me; don't play games," Bartemius snapped.

The dark-haired boy looked up with shock and bit his bottom lip. "It's just Sarah," he admitted. "She's not here." He pointed over towards the Ravenclaw table where Della Prang sat alone. "I haven't seen her in over a week. She's either stopped eating or she's...gone."

"I see." Bartemius turned back to Regulus and scowled at the table. "Why do you care?"

"I don't _care_, it's just odd is all," Regulus argued.

"I have an essay to finish." Bartemius pushed his plate away and got to his feet, then rushed out of the Great Hall before Regulus could say a word to stop him.

The boy stared after the other in surprise and shook his head. "Great," he sighed, poking at his food with a fallen face. He pushed his own plate to the side and leaned on the table, letting his eyes roam the Great Hall.

There was a heated debate raging between two third years at the end of the Slytherin House table, a sixth year Ravenclaw was getting shot down for a date from a Gryffindor, a group of Hufflepuffs were engaged in a round of exploding snap and Sirius Black was standing on top of the Gryffindor table. Regulus did a double take, not believing his eyes when he spotted his brother making such a spectacle of himself.

"Attention! Attention!" the boy called out, drawing the gaze of most of the Great Hall. Sirius cast a glance towards a laughing James Potter and held up his hands. "I, Sirius Black, am a git!" he announced. "That's right. I'm a git. I am far less intelligent -"

"You got that right!"

"- and attractive than one James Potter. I can -"

"Sit down, Black, you look like an idiot!"

"- never dream to be as wonderful as James Potter and I will forever be forced to live in his amazing shadow!" Sirius sent a rude hand gesture towards one of the interrupting students and widened his eyes as he spotted several professors heading his way. "And because I can never be as great as my best mate," he continued at a rapid pace, "I have decided to take a vow of celibacy an-"

"Not another word, Mister Black! You get off that table this instant."

Regulus rolled his eye and headed out of the the Great Hall, not wanting to watch his brother make a bigger scene or get in trouble. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and started in the direction of the Slytherin common room. The sound of low talking froze the boy in his tracks. He held his breath as Bartemius' voice drifted around the corner.

"You don't even know him," the boy was saying. "Just give him a chance."

"But he seems so mean," came a soft female voice. "He's really...stoic."

"Stoic?" Bartemius laughed.

"I couldn't think of a better word." She giggled softly.

"Well, he isn't _stoic_, he's just private."

Regulus frowned, his gut telling him that Bartemius was talking about him. He turned around and headed back down the hallway a bit, then trekked back with heavy footsteps and loud humming. "Oh, hey," he greeted Bartemius and the mystery girl as he rounded the corner.

"Hello," she said softly, pushing her long brown hair back out of her eyes.

"How about this; we were just talking about you," Bartemius said, clapping his hand on Regulus' shoulder.

"Barty," the girl hissed, throwing an apologetic look over to Regulus.

Bartemius licked his lips and gave the girl a grin. "He already knows," he pointed out bluntly. "Came around the corner pretty loud, didn't you?" he directed to Regulus. "Doesn't matter, I'd have told him everything even if he didn't hear. I don't keep things from Regulus."

Regulus raised his eyebrows and snorted. "Is that your way of sa-"

"Let's not get into that right now," Bartemius interrupted. "I want you to meet my girlfriend." He held out his hand towards the brunette and shoved Regulus in her direction. "This is Fiona. And this is my non-stoic best mate."

Fiona's cheeks flushed with pink and she batted her lashes innocently at the boy in front of her. "I wasn't trying to offend," she said, her eyes falling to the floor.

"It's alright," Regulus told her. "I've been called much worse. If you don't mind, we'll have to chat another time, I've got some work to do." He thumbed towards the common room entrance and turned on his heel, wanting to put as much distance between himself and Fiona Ackerley as possible.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Well...there it is. Thank you for reading. Leave me some thoughts if you will. :D –Jenna**


	53. Here's to Missing You

**Chapter 53: Here's to Missing You**

**.**

"I swear to God if you kick me again, I'll break your damn nose," Benjy Fenwick hissed under his breath, his dark eyes locking hard onto Regulus'.

Regulus smirked at his irritated Potions partner and grabbed the near-by bottle of murtlap essence. "It was an accident, Fenwick. Don't be such a baby," the boy muttered as he carefully measured the liquid. "And I'd advise you to save your threats for someone who can't tear you apart."

"Oh, and you think _you_ can?" the Gryffindor laughed. "You're like four foot tall, Black. You can't fucking touch me."

"I don't have to be tall to kick your ass."

And the argument escalated. What started as a few too many under-the-table foot bumps soon grew into a full on battle. The two boys swung their fists and well placed kicks at each other, both of them earning a fair amount of good hits, until Professor Slughorn finally gave up on his idle threats and threw up a shield spell to knock them apart. Regulus slammed into the edge of the table, causing a pouch of powdered moonstone to topple over and rain down onto him. He sputtered and gagged as part of the white dust sucked into his lungs.

Benjy groaned as he pulled himself off the floor and launched towards the fallen Slytherin. Regulus barely glimpsed the impending attack through his watering and raw eyes. The boy tried to blink away the moonstone and threw his hands up to shield himself, but the impact never came. Slughorn snapped the charging Gryffindor to attention with a simple flick of his wand.

"Detention for both of you," Professor Slughorn said as he straightened himself out. "And this partnership is done. You both need new work mates," he grumbled as he glanced around the room in search of volunteers to work with either boy.

"Professor," Regulus whispered as he got to his feet, still trying to blink away the harsh and painful sensation in his eyes. "Can I go to the -"

"Nurse? Yes, go," the man said with a wave of his hand. "I'll send you a notice for your detention."

* * *

Regulus frowned upon walking into the detention room. Despite preferring to write lines than polish metal for a punishment, he hated it when time was served in a group. The boy let his eyes wash over the numerous students collecting in the room, all choosing desks and getting out their parchments. He slipped quietly into the furthest most desk in the back corner of the room and prepared his space.

"Looks like a family reunion."

James Potter's voice called Regulus to attention. He looked up quickly to see his brother slip into the desk right in front of him and James the one beside that. "Go sit somewhere else," he whined, not wanting to deal with the other boy.

"Nope. I like this chair. You're in Jamesie's usual seat, but he doesn't mind; do ya, mate?"

"Not a bit."

"See, not a bit. What the hell are you doing in detention?" Sirius snagged the quill from his brother's hand to force the boy to look up at him. "I asked you a question."

"I got in a fight," Regulus answered, holding out his hand, expecting the return of his property. When his brother returned his quill, the Slytherin slouched back in his seat and smirked. "You in here for that stupid table stunt you pulled the other day? Why would you say something so stupid?"

Sirius gave a chuckle and shook his head. "We had a bet and I lost," he answered, pointing between James and himself. "But that detention is tomorrow. This is for...oh I forget. James what did we do to get this one?"

"Dungbombs in the teachers' lounge," James answered.

"That's right," Sirius laughed. "Oh that was fun."

"You guys get in a lot of trouble, don't you?" Regulus asked, looking between the boys. "Aren't you Head Boy?"

"School's almost over. I'm just having a few final laughs with my best mate is all. Not a big deal," James answered, narrowing his eyes at the younger boy.

"Who'd you fight with?" Sirius cut in.

"Fenwick."

"No way! Really; that was you? That's mental." Sirius clapped his brother on the shoulder and barked out a laugh. "I saw him; you really did some damage. You don't look too busted up," he said in a boastful tone as he grabbed Regulus chin and inspected the boy.

"Because he barely got in two good shots," Regulus said smugly, swatting the older boy's hand away.

Sirius smiled over at his brother and leaned casually against the desk. "You always were pretty good with your fists," he commented, then before the other boy could get a word in, he went on to say, "So I got a motorbike over Christmas holiday. It's ama-"

"A what?" Regulus interrupted.

Sirius grinned and quickly produced a photo of his cherished motorbike from his pocket. "I named her Bonnie," he said as he handed it over. The boy spent the next fifteen minutes droning on in excruciating detail about every thing Regulus needed to know to fully understand the concept of a motorbike. Just as the younger Black's eyes were poised to fully glaze over, Sirius finally came to a stop. "So anyways, I was saying that I got one."

Regulus nodded understandingly and handed the photo back to his brother. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Well me and Prongs, we're gonna charm it up. Make it fly; it'll run faster than a broom when we're done with it."

Regulus had no idea what a _Prongs_ was, but the idea of a giant hunk of metal moving faster than his broom sent the boy into a fit of laughter. "Faster than a broom? You're out of your mind," he said as he let out a long sigh. "That thing is never gonna outrun a broom."

"It can and it will. When we're done putting charms on it," James argued, offended at the younger boy's dismissive tone. "Give it up, Padfoot, he's never gonna go for it," he added, looking over towards Sirius with a smirk.

"What? Go for what?" Regulus asked, sitting up to attention. "I'm not gonna go for what?" His eyes widened with curiosity and his hands twisted together. The smile on his brother's face put a similar one upon Regulus'. The boy couldn't remember the last time Sirius smiled at him that way; it felt like ages.

"Well..." Sirius trailed off, shifting in his seat. "It's just I was gonna ask you to join us. I know you're really good at charms and we could use an extra wand," he said, his eyes flashing with the kind of feigned innocence that took years of practice. "And you could have turns on it when we're done. Just imagine it."

Unwittingly, Regulus did just that. The boy's mind drifted to images of himself sitting on the pictured motorbike, flying through a field faster than his broom had ever carried him; his hair whipping into his eyes and his smile stretching ear to ear. He couldn't contain the small laugh that escaped his lips before reality set in and he shook his head. "Yeah, I'm sure mum and dad would be just fine and dandy with me sitting around fiddling with Muggle crap," he muttered, leaning back against his chair in defeat.

Sirius rolled his eyes while James muttered something that Regulus was sure he didn't want repeated. "You're gonna be seventeen next month," Sirius pointed out. "You don't have to ask for permission to do _anything_. Just come over and help us."

"You know it doesn't work that way," Regulus said quietly, lowering his gaze to the desk.

"Then...you could always just leave. I still have that extra room and I can ta-"

"Stop." Regulus slammed his hand down on the desk and shot his brother a nasty look. "I knew it. I just _knew_ it. You didn't come back here to talk to me; you came to suck me into your Muggle loving little fantasies. It's real sick, Sirius. Just...just leave me the hell alone!" He gathered up his quill and parchment and hastily shoved them into his bag, then scrambled to get into a seat as far away from Sirius and James as possible.

The entire room was hushed into silence as Professor McGonagall stepped into view and held up her hands. "I want you all to work quietly. You're here for the next hour, so heads down and mouths closed," the woman instructed.

No more than ten minutes had Regulus been writing his lines when a folded piece of parchment dropped onto his desk. The boy frowned and glanced around to make sure that no one was watching him before he slowly pulled it open.

**Stop being stubborn!**

Regulus narrowed his eyes at his brother's handwriting and crumpled up the parchment. He forced his attention back onto his lines, refusing to look back at Sirius even though he could feel the boy's eyes on the back of his head. After another few minutes passed, a second folded note slipped in front of him.

**I miss you**

The Slytherin stared down at the words and let out a sharp breath. He slowly folded the note back over and touched his quill to it. He could feel his hand shaking slightly and closed his eyes to steady himself. A quick glance over his shoulder showed his brother staring at him with eager and hopeful eyes. He knew it was wrong to care.

Every fiber of his being screamed that his brother was a blood traitor and he wasn't meant to have any contact with the boy. He could hear his mother's voice screeching out the foul insults that hadn't shaken Grimmauld Place since Sirius' departure. He could see his cousin Bellatrix's eyes narrowing in anger and her wand raising to punish his deceitful thoughts; for consorting with a blood traitor was as bad as being one yourself.

Regulus shook his head roughly, forcing away the invasions into his mind. He looked back to the note in his hands and slipped it into his pocket before going back to writing his detention lines. As the time ran out and everyone made their way to the door, a hand gripped around Regulus' upper arm and pulled him against the wall.

"Please," Sirius whispered. "Just give m-"

"Don't." Regulus held up his hand and bit down hard on his bottom lip. "Sirius...I miss you too." The boy shook his head when his brother's eyes lit up with hope. "But it doesn't change anything. You made your choice and so did I."

"But your choice is wrong!" Sirius pleaded. "Why can't you see that?"

"I'm sorry you feel that way," the boy answered. "I want you to leave me alone." He looked back towards the doorway where James stood watching. "Go back to your friends, Sirius. You're not going to change my mind. No amount of trickery or bribes or offers is going to change my mind."

"You're my brother," the older Black whispered. "I can't just stand by and let them drag you down."

"I haven't been dragged _anywhere_," Regulus argued. "I walked there. On my own, by my own wand I swore myself into this life." He thrust his left arm towards his brother in clarification and tightened his jaw. "I know you think I'm just some stupid sheep, but I chose this!"

"Then you chose death!"

"I'm okay with that," Regulus whispered before turning away from his brother and stepping out of the classroom. He pushed his hand into his pocket and retrieved the tiny scrap that bore his brother's words. "It doesn't change anything," he told himself as he tossed the parchment into the nearest rubbish bin.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thank you for reading. Leave me some thoughts if you will. :D –Jenna**


	54. Not Strong Enough to Let You Go

**Chapter 54: Not Strong Enough to Let You Go**

**.**

Regulus' lips pulled into a smirk as a gentle wave of hot air spilled over the back of his neck. Tingles ran down the boy's arms, making each hair stand on end with anticipation. The bed underneath him shifted slightly with another's attempt to get comfortable and soon two arms encircled Regulus' waist from behind. Lips were quick to follow another hot breath that this time landed just below the boy's ear.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Regulus whispered with a cheeky grin, trying to keep the titillation out of his words. He glanced sideways towards the door of his room and grinned to find that it had been silently pushed closed when he was distracted with his shoelaces.

No answer came to the boy; instead he was met with a several more kisses trailing down his neck and over his shoulder. His instincts bid him to push away and run, but Regulus swallowed down his struggles and leaned back into the embrace of his friend. He raised his hand and brushed the side of his fingers gently over Bartemius' jawline, calling the boy's lips onto his own.

The blonde responded fervently, his mouth moving with a rough abandon over Regulus' as he shifted once more and pushed the older boy to lay on the bed. His hands slid their way over Regulus' chest and under the shoulders of the boy's robes, pulling the heavy fabric back to expose the shirt below. A sinister twinkle graced Bartemius' eyes as Regulus lifted himself enough to allow the robes to be pushed away completely. The darker-haired boy pulled his arms free and raised his hands to cradle the sides of the other's neck while they once again met in a heated kiss.

Bartemius' fingertips trailed their way down Regulus' upper arm and dug into the boy's side, sending an excited shiver through the older boy. "Are you okay?" he whispered, breaking his lips away only to place them on Regulus' neck. "Do I need to stop?" he asked, his words moving hotly across the other boy's skin.

Regulus' first thought was to shout _yes_, but he wouldn't allow himself to do it. He closed his eyes tightly and took a calming breath, then pulled Bartemius closer. "Please don't," the breathed out, pushing aside thoughts of his painfully racing heart. He opened his eyes and stole another kiss from the other boy, his arms wrapping possessively around the blonde's body.

The room, which was moments before chilled to the point of needing a sweater, now seemed to be raging with heat. Regulus felt his skin prickle and a small trace of sweat start to break free on the base of his neck. Mindlessly, he tore back Bartemius' robes and let them drop onto the bed beside him.

Bartemius pulled away from Regulus' hold and stared down at him. While the boy's lips curved into an eager and confident smile, Regulus could see the nervous way his eyes flickered. The blonde's fear came through in the slight way his hand shook as he dragged it down the other boy's chest and rested it near his belt line. His inexperienced fingers played across the button on Regulus' slacks until the other boy grabbed his hand. Their fingers laced together and Regulus pulled Bartemius back towards him.

"This is enough," he whispered reassuringly as he pushed his fingers through the other boy's straw blonde locks and guided their lips back together. He smirked into their kiss when he spotted Bartemius' hand raise up and repair the miniscule damage that his fingers had done to the boy's hair. "Ponce," he laughed as he reached up and ruffled the back of Bartemius' hair.

"Hey," Bartemius whined, pulling out of Regulus' arms and sitting up on his knees. He dragged his fingers determinedly through his hair, desperate to fix it back into its proper spot. "Way to kill the mood," he muttered at the other boy, feigning a look of utmost disappointment.

"Did I completely kill it?" Regulus asked with a grin as he leaned up and touched his lips to the back of other boy's neck. His fingers trailed languidly down Bartemius' arm.

"Okay, not completely," the boy answered, a laugh lacing his words as he turned back to Regulus and leaned into him. His eyes closed as their lips met in a gentle, almost meaningful way. "I'm scared when I'm with you," he whispered over Regulus' lips.

The older boy pulled back only slightly and rested his hand over Bartemius' neck. "I didn't realize you were scared of me," he whispered back, his words jaded.

"That isn't what I said." Bartemius pushed away from his friend and turned his back to him, letting his feet drag across the floor off the edge of the bed. "I said...I'm scared when I'm _with_ you."

"I don't see the difference."

"Then you're an idiot."

"Don't..." Regulus held up his hand and closed his eyes, fighting to control his temper. He chewed roughly at his bottom lip and clenched his fingers into a fist. "Don't call me that," he hissed.

"Then don't act like one!" Bartemius countered, rounding to face the object of his anger. "I'm scared that one day...this, whatever the hell it is, it won't be enough for me."

"You have Fiona for that," Regulus said quietly.

"That isn't what I mean!"

Regulus' eyes widened at the other boy's tone. He wasn't used to Bartemius being so forceful or loud. "Then you'll have to explain it to me," he snapped, angry once again at his own shortness.

Bartemius put his hands to the side of his head and appeared lost in his thoughts for a moment. "We can't...be together. Not really be together. And it isn't about blood or family and it...it isn't fair," he finished, his words no more than a whisper. "I get scared when I'm with you because -" The boy stared down into his lap and chewed at his fingernails.

"Stop that," Regulus muttered, pushing the boy's hand from his mouth. "I want you to listen to me. You're right, completely. This thing between us, it's always going to be hidden and taboo and...and wrong. There's just not any getting around that. I mean, short of running off to Cambodia and farming rice for the rest of our lives, we just don't have a real future," he mused, trying to make light of a tense discussion. "And as much as I enjoy rice I -"

"Don't patronize me, Regulus," Bartemius snapped as he jumped to his feet and glared back at the other boy. "It's bad enough that you confuse me and -"

"_I_ confuse you?"

"Yes. Yes you do. You confuse the hell out of me and I hate it." Bartemius turned back to the other boy and grabbed onto his shoulders. "I'm not supposed to want you," he whispered. "I'm not supposed to...need you. But I do." He let his hands trail over the boy's chest and wound one into Regulus' tie. "And it isn't fair that you don't want me the same way."

"I want you," Regulus argued as he reached out and snaked his arms around the blonde's waist. "I do," he insisted. "Look, just look at me, right now. I can't keep my bloody hands off you and that's saying something considering...my problem. You're worth feeling like hell for."

"That didn't sound as nice as you think it did," the other boy said, though he did flash a small smile. He stared down into the empty grey of Regulus' eyes and sighed. "I really like her," he said though his dry, uncommitted tone negated his very words.

Regulus grinned slightly and pulled Bartemius closer to him. "You're allowed to like two people at the same time," he said. He lowered himself to sit right on the bed and tugged the blonde closer still. He laid his head over against the boy's abdomen, closed his eyes and breathed in the citrus and spice combination of the boy's cologne. "This isn't going to last though."

"I know." Bartemius' fingertips weaved their way through Regulus' hair, rubbing roughly against his scalp and pulling soft sighs of pleasure and contentment from the boy. "I want to be a Death Eater," he said. He'd said it many times before, so his simple words came as no surprise to the other boy. "Do you want me to be one?" he asked.

Regulus looked up at the other boy with wide eyes. It'd been the first time Bartemius asked his opinion on the matter. He swallowed hard and fought to steady his racing heart. "No," he breathed out after far too long. His sought the other boy's deep brown eyes and grabbed onto his sweater, pulling him down onto his knees so that they were on an even keel. "I...I don't want you to go through what I did."

"I'm strong enough."

"That isn't the point." Regulus struggled with what to say, his mouth letting him down each time and forcing his prolonged silence. He rubbed his hands over the other boy's shoulders, chest, neck and through his hair, despite the protests. With each pass, his touch grew more firm until he was digging his fingertips deeply into the boy's arms and pulling him back onto the bed.

"Regulus," Bartemius whispered as the dark-haired boy pulled his shirt free from being tucked into his slacks. "Do you love me?"

"No." He didn't bother trying to be kind with his answer, it would merely serve to confuse the other boy more. He pushed Bartemius' sweater and shirt up to expose his stomach and trailed a line of lingering kisses over the warm skin.

"Do I love you?"

"No," Regulus repeated as he continued to pour his affection over the boy.

Bartemius' fingers tightened around the other boy's hair and gave a tug to draw his attention. "Then what the hell is this?" he demanded.

The other boy merely shook his head. "I don't know," he answered. "Wouldn't it be easy if I could tell you that it's love?" He turned his gaze back onto the boy's stomach and brushed his lips softly over the skin, not kissing, merely grazing.

"Lust?" came a defeated whisper.

"No. No, lust is too...too powerful." His fingers brushed over the boy's sides and dipped into the top of his waist band. "I could walk away if I wanted to. If I was told to; I could get up and never look back. I don't..." He sighed, not sure how to phrase himself. "I don't need you."

Bartemius pushed himself up, not looking directly at Regulus' face. "I need you," he grumbled.

"I shouldn't have let it get this far," Regulus whispered, grabbing for his robes.

"Wait, Regulus don't," the boy begged, grabbing wildly for the other boy's arm. "Don't say that. Just don't. You can't just say that."

"I have to. This needs to stop. You're getting too involved, you're getting too...too..."

"Too what? Too invested; too deep; what?" The blonde chased Regulus to the door and spun him around, stepping into him until he was backed against the wall. "I'm not strong enough to let you go."

Regulus laid his hands on Bartemius' neck and brought their foreheads together. He felt the other boy's breathing even out and his grip loosen off his arms. "I'll be strong enough for both of us," he said. "It was never a matter of _if_, Barty, it was always _when_. You knew this couldn't keep on. I'm sorry. I...I didn't want you to get hurt in all this."

"Then don't hurt me," the boy pushed out through his teeth.

"You're not giving me a choice."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Never felt so bad for a future murderer before. :( Anyways, not a lot of plot in this one; but I figured it had been a while since there was some _action_ in the story. Hope you enjoyed it either way. Don't forget to leave me some thoughts and thank you for reading! :D –Jenna**


	55. In Dreams Begin Responsibilities

**Chapter 55: In Dreams Begin Responsibilities**

**.**

_Regulus lay in his bed, staring up at the emerald canopy draped over his bed. Sleep was once again evading the boy. He lifted his hand and twisted it up in the air above his head, watching his fingers turn and dance in a silent rhythm only he knew. The movement was surreal; his hand was floating through the space and leaving copies of itself with each pass. And soon there were so many hands moving above him, Regulus could not tell which was his own. He pulled back, cringing at the odd sight hovering in the air._

_Like a stone through a window, a figure burst into view, shattering the collection of hands and sending them raining down over Regulus. The boy tried to close his eyes to protect them from the falling shards, but it was of no use, his eyes remained open against his will. It did not matter though, for as the pieces of his disturbing vision reached his skin, they dissolved into nothing, leaving each place they nearly touched with a cold chill._

_Regulus tried to focus on what had broken his delusional mosaic, but it was difficult. A face he knew but could not place. He reached for the smiling figure but it merely faded away before he could touch it. "Wait, come back," the boy called out, his words odd and hanging thick in the air. He tossed back the blankets and climbed out of bed, disregarding his shoes as he ran out of the room in search of the face he longed to see once more._

_There was a trace of laughter in the air, calling Regulus down the dormitory hallway and out into the Slytherin common room. The boy followed it eagerly, knowing that if he could catch the sound, everything would be alright once more. Desperately, he looked all around the common room, searching each corner and under each table, unable to find the source of the growing laughter. Louder and louder it rang out until Regulus had to cover his ears to shut out the sound. He dropped to his knees and gritted his teeth in pain as the sound began to be unbearable._

"_Stop it! Stop it!" he begged to no avail. He pulled roughly at his hair and let out a loud growl to combat the sickening laughter. The sound around him seeped into his mouth and trickled down into his lungs, making its way through his body and leaving him feeling twisted and sick. Fear crept over the boy and he started to shake violently as he screamed nonsense into the air._

_The floor creaked below his knees and began to split. Regulus gasped loudly and tried to get to his feet, but it was too late. The small crack opened wide and the boy was soon falling through complete darkness. He swung his arms wildly, desperate to grab onto anything and stop his fall, but nothing was to be found. He continued to drop, losing all grasp of time and reality until he landed hard on a stone floor. The boy cried out in pain and rolled onto his side, coughing out a splattering of blood dislodged from the impact._

"_You're not allowed in here," came a familiar yet entirely foreign voice. Regulus climbed to his feet, weak and stumbling as he forced himself across the tiny stone room. "I said you're not allowed in here," the voice repeated and Regulus pushed on, ignoring the angry tone. The closer Regulus came to the source of the warnings, the more his eyes began to adjust. He could make out a tall figure, topped in dirty blonde hair. The eyes were such a dark blue, Regulus found both fear and desire in them._

_Tentatively, the boy reached his hand towards the figure. His hand was met by the other boy's. Fingers laced together and Regulus was pulled into the strong arms of the other. "You're not allowed here," the boy repeated, this time in a whisper._

"_Why not?" Regulus whispered back, feeling the instinctive pull to wrap his arms around the other boy and hold him close. "Anthony?" he tried, finding surety in the name the moment it breached his lips. "I don't wanna leave. Can't I just stay here?" he begged, holding the other boy tighter._

_Anthony shook his head slowly and passed his fingers through Regulus' hair. "You can't stay with me. I'm not even real, Regulus." He pushed the boy back to peer into his eyes and cast a saddened smile down at the other boy. "And that's your fault."_

"_No, no," Regulus argued, stepping back from Anthony. "I didn't take you. I didn't lock you in that damn room! It was her!"_

"_But you killed me!" Anthony shouted._

"_I didn't have a choice. She was hurting you! I didn't have a choice!"_

_Anthony's body stiffened and his eyes closed for a moment. The boy took several deep breaths before lowering his head and sighing. "How often you say that...it's troubling. Always the same, you don't have a choice, you don't have a choice. There is always a choice, Regulus."_

"_No. What could I have done? Run away? I wouldn't have gotten two steps out of that room, you know it! I couldn't...I didn't... There was no choice!"_

"_I didn't say it was an easy choice," Anthony told him as he pulled the boy close. He ran his hands down Regulus' back and held him tightly. "So many choices you've made and all of them wrong. Regulus, you're dying inside and I can't help you. You're alone and you're weak."_

"_I'm not weak," Regulus whispered as he wrapped his arms around the other boy's waist. "I miss you." He laid his head against the boy's chest and tried to listen for that familiar heartbeat, but found only the silence he had created._

"_It's time to leave," came another voice from behind Regulus. Two hands smoothed down over the boy's shoulders and grabbed onto Regulus' wrists, prying his hands from around Anthony's waist and pulling him back._

"_Let go of me!" Regulus argued, trying to escape from the hold of the newcomer. "I don't wanna leave!" he cried out. "Let me go, Barty!" He wasn't even sure how he knew his captor to be Bartemius, but the words came out so easily, he didn't doubt them._

"Regulus! Regulus calm down," Bartemius pleaded as he shook the frantic boy awake.

Regulus flung his hands out to battle the odd sensation of falling that overtook him when pulled from his dream. He sat upright on the common room couch and dragged his hands back through his hair, trying to figure out what was happening. He still lingered in that half dream state, unsure if what he was seeing and feeling was real or not. He hugged his arms around himself and stared around the dark and empty common room, searching for signs of normality. "What happened?"

"You fell asleep out here," Bartemius whispered as he laid his hand on the other boy's shoulder. "I couldn't sleep, when I got here, you were twitching and making a funny noise," he explained, watching Regulus with worried eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Not really," Regulus whispered. He rubbed at his eyes and looked back towards Bartemius. The boy bit down hard on his bottom lip and slowly raised his hand to the blonde's face; his fingertips trailed lightly over the boy's cheek.

Bartemius batted the boy's hand away and tightened his lips. "What are you doing?"

"Making a choice," Regulus answered as he leaned forward and met the other boy's lips with his own. He reached up and once again cradled the boy's face, this time meeting no resistance. He shifted closer to the blonde and pressed harder into their kiss when he felt the boy's arms lock around his neck. After a slow, lengthy kiss, he pulled back and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I do-"

"Don't," Bartemius interrupted. "You don't have to say anything." He leaned into the boy and the two held each other in silence for a bit. "What were you dreaming about?" the blonde finally whispered.

Regulus merely shook his head in answer and pulled away from the other boy. "It doesn't matter," he said. "Dreams aren't real. This...this is real. _We_ are real. I'm done just stepping back and letting other people control my life. I _do_ have a choice."

"So it's off to the rice fields?" Bartemius asked with a grin.

"No, no rice fields," Regulus answered with a smile. He met the other boy's eyes and pulled him in for another quick kiss. "I can't promise you a tomorrow. I can't guarantee that things are going to work out. I can't even tell you if this is gonna last a week or years to come, but I can promise you that I won't sit back and let it be ripped away from me."

The blonde nodded and took Regulus' hands into his own. "What changed your mind?"

"I don't want to be alone," Regulus said quietly. He squeezed the boy's hands and put his feet on the floor. "We should get back to our rooms."

"Wait." Bartemius closed his fingers around Regulus' wrist and pulled the boy back down towards him. "How do I know you won't take it back?" He stared up at the other boy and passed his thumb over the heavy dark circles that hung under Regulus' eyes. "Some dream changes your mind but tomorrow you could change it back. You could decide that I'm not -" His words were cut off by Regulus' warm lips falling gently against his.

"Come with me," Regulus whispered, taking the boy's hand and pulling him from the couch. He led the blonde down the hallway and silently pushed open his dormitory door. The boy peeked inside and nodded at seeing his roommates' curtains all closed.

He didn't need to speak for Bartemius to understand. The younger boy followed him into the room and stayed quiet as they crawled into the older's bed. Regulus secured his curtains and held his finger to Bartemius' lips, unable to convey the need for perfect silence any other way inside the darkened enclosure. He felt the blonde nod and brushed his hands down the boy's chest, hooking his fingers under the boy's shirt and pulling it from his body.

Regulus' eyes closed as he felt the other boy's hands tug at his shirt. He held up his arms and shivered slightly as his skin was exposed to the chilled night air around them. Heated hands trailed over the boy's back, pulling him down onto the bed atop the other boy. He tangled their legs together and sought out Bartemius' mouth with his, their lips meeting in a needful pull.

The dark-haired boy left a trail of kisses up the other's jaw and to his ear. "Do you trust me?" he breathed as his fingers traced circles over the boy's side.

"Yes," Bartemius answered so low he almost couldn't be heard.

"I'm gonna fight for you, okay?" Regulus felt the other boy nod and pressed his lips onto his neck. He pulled back a bit, trying to keep himself from losing his breath at so much close contact.

The younger boy's hands grabbed onto Regulus' shoulders and pushed the boy down onto the bed in his former place. It was unnerving to be surrounded by such an absence of light. Regulus wasn't sure what the other was doing until he felt him move to sit across his lap. They met in another kiss, this time heated and wild. Regulus pushed his hand into Bartemius' hair and held him close, pleased that the boy was making no fuss about his precious strands being out of place.

"Barty," Regulus whispered as he grabbed the boy's wandering hand. "Wait," he finished. "I'm not gonna settle for half way. If you...if you want us, you can't have her."

A small laugh broke from the other boy's throat and he buried his face into the pillow beside Regulus' head to keep from being too loud. "Then consider her gone," he finally answered. "I want this. I want you. Please...show me that you'll fight for us."

Regulus wrapped his arms tightly around Bartemius' waist and pulled him close. "Okay," he whispered with a small smile. And the emerald canopy above stood the only witness to his fulfilled promise.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Yes; No? Maybe so? Good or bad? Any thoughts are welcome. Thank you for reading! :D –Jenna**

"**In dreams begin responsibilities." Cornelius Tower – Tower Prep**


	56. Daring the Lions' Den

**Chapter 56: Daring the Lions' Den**

**.**

It didn't feel any different, being seventeen. Everyone had talked up the day so much, planted ideas of how special and exciting it would be to become _of age_. Regulus half expected to awaken with some profound thought or life-altering realization. But he did not. The boy opened his eyes feeling exactly the same as he had the day before. He did not feel older and certainly not wiser. He did, however, feel a bit sick. Nothing like celebrating the start of your seventeenth birthday by hanging over a toilet.

It was a small comfort to find he was not alone in his misery at least. The majority of the Slytherin House spent their mornings in the exact same situation as Regulus. A mysterious and random bout of food poisoning, that only seemed to strike the emerald House, was the culprit for all the students' illness. Through much discussion about the previous night's dinner, they all managed to deduce that it was the chocolate torte that struck them down.

Regulus groaned and pulled his fingers back through his hair, shaking his head at the very idea. "Wouldn't it figure," he muttered as he laid back on his pillow and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I don't even like chocolate and the one bloody time I have some of it, I get sick."

"Stop whining, Black, we're all sick," called the boy's roommate, Nelson. "Besides, this is your stupid git of a brother's fault." The brunette boy put his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes before lowering himself onto his own bed. "If you're gonna complain, go do it to him."

"This isn't -" Regulus had to pause and breath deeply to settle the wave of nausea that rushed over him. "This isn't my brother's fault. It's food poisoning, the Nurse said so herself."

Nelson nodded and rolled his eyes at the other boy. "Sure, food poisoning. Slytherin-attacking food poisoning. Don't even bother, Snape heard your brother and that fat kid laughing about it. They were practically bragging to the entire hall."

"That's not..." As much as Regulus wanted to argue, he was very well aware of his brother's pranking history and its particular target of Slytherins. A part of him didn't want to accept it though; didn't want to believe that his brother would launch an attack that would affect him on his birthday. The boy rolled onto his side facing away from Nelson and glanced up at the small gathering of presents stacked on his side table. He'd been in too much of a hurry to get to the bathroom that morning to bother with them.

He reached out and snagged the nearest package to the edge. It was small, about the size of his hand, and decorated in a deep emerald wrapping. Regulus let out a single, sharp laugh when he spotted his parents' names on the tag. Never, in all the time he could remember, had his parents given him an actual gift. It had always been money, and before he was old enough to handle it himself, just a trip to the shop with the promise he could have whatever he picked out for himself.

He slid his finger under the seam of the paper, excitement building in him as he imagined his parents, or at least one of them, going into a shop and taking the time to select a gift for their son. Clearly, their son's seventeenth meant something to Orion and Walburga Black. By the time Regulus had the wrapping off the box, he was bursting with joy regardless of his dizziness and turning stomach.

And in one instant, that delusion the boy had so vividly crafted shattered around him. A watch. Not just any watch, but _the_ watch. The watch that had been his father's and his grandfather's and his great-grandfather's and even more before that. It was the watch that had been passed from first-born-son to first-born-son over countless Black generations. Regulus' parents hadn't gone out and found a gift for him; they had merely stuffed some antique family trinket into a box that they most likely ordered Kreacher to wrap.

It wasn't even _his_ watch, it was meant for his brother, Regulus thought bitterly as his lips curled into a sneer and his eyes narrowed at the aged timepiece. The watch was heavy, worth more than he could even begin to imagine; the hands were solid gold, matching the band, and pointed to tiny stars that set where numbers should have laid. Hastily, the boy shoved it back into the box and tossed it into the tiny space between his bed and side table. He didn't even glance at his other gifts, merely hugged his pillow and closed his eyes in an effort to sleep off his sickness.

* * *

Regulus felt nervous standing in the seventh floor corridor. It didn't matter that he was a Death Eater when he was at school. He was merely another student, in this case one who was alone and on unfriendly turf. The boy tried to seem as small as possible as he leaned against the wall across from the Fat Lady's portrait, his head tilted down to hide his face. Gryffindors came and went without so much as a single word directed towards the Slytherin. It wasn't until he'd been standing there for half an hour when one finally spoke.

"He's in the room," came a confident yet tired sounding voice. Regulus instantly recognized it and raised his eyes to take in Remus Lupin. "He's in our room," the Prefect repeated, giving the young Slytherin an _are_-_you_-_dumb_-_or_-_ignoring_-_me_ _look_.

"Oh," Regulus mouth stupidly. "Can you tell him I'm out here?"

"I'm not your owl," the older boy snapped. Remus looked suddenly ashamed of his own words and held up his hand in apology. "You can come up and talk to him if you want," he offered, this time forcing his tone to be even and calm.

Regulus' eyes widened and he let out a condescending laugh. "I can't go in there."

"You've been in here before."

"Yeah, but that was years ago. Things are...different now."

The older boy put his fingers to his eyes and breathed deeply for a moment. "I really can't handle this right now, Black," he said with a groan. "Either come up or get out of the hallway. You're getting some of the others worried. They think you're out here plotting or waiting for something."

Regulus bit down on his bottom lip and threw nervous glances down each way of the hall. "Okay," he agreed before following the other boy into Gryffindor tower. His eyes stayed glued to the floor as he trailed Remus through murmuring students and up the stairs to the seventh year boys' dormitory.

"Moony, man I was just planning to come and get your ass if y- Oh!" Sirius Black startled to attention at the sight of his brother standing in the doorway. "Moony, you got yourself a pet Slytherin," the boy teased as he grabbed Regulus' arm and pulled him inside the room. He closed the door behind them and stared expectantly at the younger version of himself.

After several minutes of awkward greetings and three pieces of toffee, Regulus finally got to the point of his visit. "Was it you?" he asked quickly, shifting on the edge of his brother's bed. "Most of our House was sick this morning; and a lot of the others still are."

Sirius burst into a fit of barking laughter and clapped his brother hard on the back. "Yeah it was us," he answered with a smirk. "Did Snivellus get sick? Oh please say he did!"

Regulus jumped to his feet and stared down at his brother with anger in his eyes. "To hell with Snape!" he growled. "Today's my fucking birthday and because of you I spent most of it running to the bathroom to throw up. I...I don't even know how to react to this!" The boy threw his hands up and shook his head frantically.

"Whoa, whoa!" Sirius cried out, heading his brother off as the boy made a line for the door. "What do you mean? You got sick? No, no, no!" He grabbed Regulus' shoulders and forced the boy to stop walking. "You weren't supposed to get sick. I planned it so that _you_ wouldn't get sick. Regulus, we don't...we don't exactly have the best relationship but I would never do that to you."

The younger boy looked taken aback as he stared up into grey eyes mirroring his own. "Chocolate..." he whispered, trying to straighten out his thoughts.

"Yes," Sirius laughed. "The hell did you eat it for? You haven't liked the stuff since you were...what, seven?"

"Eight."

"And Uncle Alphard gave you that exploding bon-bon." The older boy let out a reminiscent sigh and pushed his brother back into the room to sit down. "You came all this way to ask me about a prank?"

Regulus nodded. His hands twisted in his lap as he took a seat back on the edge of his brother's bed. His eyes darted towards Remus, who was hovering over his trunk, digging through it and muttering something that Regulus couldn't quite make out. "No," he admitted quietly. "I mean, yes, but maybe that's not the only reason," he said, looking back Sirius.

The Gryffindor gave a small nod and offered up another toffee. "Go on then."

"I got the watch," Regulus said as he unwrapped the sweet. "Your watch."

"Not my watch," Sirius said with a sneer upon his lips. "That thing was never meant to be mine. Don't you remember when our father first showed it to us? Right before I left for school... Is the glass still cracked?" When Regulus shook his head, Sirius made a small snorting sound. "Nah, figures they'd fix it real fast. I don't even know how it happened. It was like the thing just jumped out of my hand." He dragged his hand back through his hair and rolled his eyes. "Like an omen."

"I don't believe in omens," Regulus answered with a small shrug.

"Fuck!" Remus' sudden profanity was followed by a slamming trunk lid and a small rant about not being able to find his History book in that mess of a room and that his roommate needed to stop borrowing his things. The boy threw a glare at both Blacks before storming out of the room to, as he put it, _have a word with Peter_.

"You'll have to excuse him," Sirius said with a saddened tone. "He's...he's not exactly feeling very well right now."

"He seems a bit unhinged."

"He can't help it!" The Gryffindor clenched his jaw and shook his head. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that."

"It's fine," Regulus whispered, dropping his gaze to his left forearm as it began to tingle. He closed his eyes and rubbed it against the side of his leg, trying to make the sensation fade away. "I need to go." He licked the tiny bits of blood off his cracked lips and adjusted his robe.

"You don't ha-" The sound of the opening dormitory door cut off the older boy's protest.

A messy-haired Gryffindor stepped into view and narrowed his eyes dangerously at Regulus behind his glasses. "What the hell is he doing in here?" James asked, his hands curling into fists at his sides.

"Shut up, Potter, I was just leaving," Regulus spat as he stood back up.

"Oh, no," James argued. "I have a question for you."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: So, the next chapter will pick up right where this one left off. I was going to finish it all here, but the conversation that is coming up is way too long for the end of this chapter. I hope everyone enjoyed and don't be shy to leave a few words in that little review box. Thanks for reading! (also, as I have made his birthday April 18th in this story, the full moon that year was four days after, so Remus isn't unhinged, it's just the wolf) :D –Jenna**


	57. Poison

**Chapter 57: Poison**

**.**

"Oh no." James put up his hand and shook his head at Regulus as the boy tried to step around him. "I have a question for you."

Regulus stopped in place and folded his arms over his chest, staring at the messy haired boy with disdain. "You have a question for me? What the hell makes you think that I'm going to answer any _question_ from you?"

"Regulus don't." Sirius put his hand upon his brother's shoulder and gave him a pleading look. "Don't fight with him, please. Just...well I don't know..." He glanced towards his friend and raised one eyebrow in question. "What do you wanna ask him?" he inquired with a hesitant tone.

James snorted in disgust and narrowed his eyes at the Slytherin. "I wanna ask him how he can even stand to look in the mirror after all the horrid things he's done."

"Excuse me?" Regulus snapped at the same time his brother cried out, "James!"

The bespectacled Head Boy advanced on the youngest, his eyes bearing down in anger. "I mean it. How the hell can you stand it?"

"James stop." Sirius pushed his hands into his friend's chest and shoved the boy back from his brother. "The hell is wrong with you?"

"Him! He's what's wrong with me!" James shouted, flinging his hand wildly towards Regulus. "Him and all his bloody _Death Eater_ mates!" The boy's words shocked Sirius into backing up, leaving way for James to step around him and charge towards Regulus once more. "Do you think you're funny? Do you think hurting innocent people is _funny_?" he all but screamed.

Regulus shook his head and started for the door. "I don't have to listen to this rubbish. Get out of my way, Potter!"

"Or what?" James asked, standing his ground. "You going to kill me if I don't? You're good at that, aren't you?"

"You don't have a damn clue what you're saying."

"Oh, don't I?" The smug look on the boy's face made Regulus sick to his stomach.

"James shut up," Sirius cut in suddenly. "Don't say another word."

His hands flew in the air and a frustrated growl erupted out of James. "Why do you even care? How can you still even talk to him?"

"What's gotten in to you?" Sirius bit back, grabbing his friend's shoulders and giving the boy a small jerk. "This isn't you; you're acting mental right now."

"They attacked her!" James ground his teeth together as he glanced from Sirius' wide-eyed gaze to Regulus' confused one and back to his friend once more. "Lily. She's in the hospital wing; Madam Pomfrey says she can't get out for at least four days, maybe longer."

Regulus chuckled dryly. "That's what you're throwing a fit about? Your little Mudblood girlfriend g-"

The boy didn't have a chance to finish his sentence before the distraught Gryffindor was upon him, fist poised for attack. Regulus managed to leap back far enough to escape the punch and Sirius grabbed his friend around the waist to prevent any further attempts.

"You damn hypocrite!" shouted James as he fought against Sirius' hold.

"James don't!" Sirius begged, flinging the boy against the nearest bed. He cursed under his breath and shot Regulus a stare that didn't need interpreting. _Get out_!

"You're going to regret this one day," Regulus voiced softly before dashing from Gryffindor tower and back into the halls. His steps fell loudly as he trudged his way back towards the Slytherin dungeons. Behind him he could sense another, though he didn't bother to see who.

"James was right, you know? You are a hypocrite," came a low whisper.

Regulus balled his hands into fists and rounded on the only other person in the hallway. "What the hell did you say?" he shouted.

An unsuspecting boy, no more than second year, ran rigid at Regulus' outburst. "I-I d-didn't say anything," he stuttered out, taking a step back from the Slytherin.

"I fucking heard you," Regulus insisted. The boy reached out and closed his fingers around the other's robes, using them to force the kid into the stone wall. His grey eyes searched for deceit as he repeated, "What the hell did you say?"

"I didn't say anything." The young boy's lips quivered as he stared fearfully back at his captor.

Regulus pressed his lips tightly together and let his eyes fall over the small Hufflepuff crest resting upon the younger boy's robes. Reality found its way into the boy's mind, reminding him that there would be no way the kid could have been anywhere near the seventh year Gryffindor boys' dorms to have heard James' insult.

His grip loosened and his stare found the floor. "Get the hell away from me," he whispered and the Hufflepuff didn't think twice before tearing down the hallway without a single glance back. Regulus pulled his fingers through his hair and took a deep, slow breath, trying to clear his mind as best he could. "I'm imagining it."

* * *

Regulus would never be able to explain what was going through his head that night. He couldn't even understand it himself. The boy was almost shocked to find himself standing outside of the hospital wing just before curfew. He stood there, staring at the heavy wooden doors, for well into an hour. He didn't even know if he wanted to go in; he certainly didn't know why.

But eventually he did. Slowly he approached the only curtained-off bed in the wing. Laying just on the other side of the white drape was a red-head, her coppery strands splayed across the sterile coloured pillow, framing her head like a halo. Her eyes were closed, whether by choice or force, Regulus wasn't sure, for they were both so swollen he couldn't imagine her being able to open them. Black bruising graced most of her face and jawline. The boy didn't want to know what damage lay under the sheet.

Lily Evans' shifted slightly in her bed, perhaps having known someone stood nearby. A soft pain-filled groan breached her lips as she turned towards Regulus and opened her eyes to slits. "Sirius?" she whispered almost inaudibly, her mouth tugging into a twisted smile.

Regulus cleared his throat and adjusted himself. "No...it's...it's Regulus." Instantly he regretted being so honest when he spotted the girl's hand shifting beneath her cover. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said quietly, laying his hand over her's to prevent the further seeking of a wand.

"You'll have to forgive me if I don't leap to trust you," Lily forced out. Her voice was scratchy and rough. "Let go of me." The boy did as asked and was quite certain the girl now had her fingers around her wand. "What do you want?"

Before he had a chance to answer, the curtain was ripped back and the school nurse startled at the sight of him. "Oh! You near gave me a heart attack, Mister Black. You'll need to run along. Visiting time is long over."

"Can he stay for just a moment?" Lily whispered as she was helped into a sitting position. "I need to talk to him. It'll only be -"

"Okay, okay, no more talking out of you, Missy." Madam Pomfrey held a tiny spoon to the red-head's lips and waited until the girl had swallowed back the potion to continue. "_Just_ for a minute; then it's out." She nodded definitively at Regulus before taking her leave and closing off the curtains.

"Why did you do that?"

"You said you weren't going to hurt me."

"And you said you didn't trust me."

Lily sighed and tipped her head back into the pillow, her eyes fully closed in defeat. "I want to know why you're here."

Regulus would have liked to know the same thing. "I...I don't know. I just...I-I..." He shrugged, at a loss for any intelligible words.

"Did you do this to me?"

"No!" He wasn't sure why he felt the need to be so insistent. "I didn't," he went on, correcting his frantic tone. "And before you ask, I don't know who did."

"The who doesn't matter so much. It's the why that bothers me." Lily slowly brought her hand to her face and pushed back a strand of hair caught on her lips. "You know _why_, don't you?"

"You're a Mu-ggle-born." Regulus bit his bottom lip.

A tiny laugh built inside Lily's chest and she shook her head. "You won't call me a Mudblood to my face?" she asked with the most condescending tone manageable. "I guess I should consider that a good thing. Perhaps there's hope for you yet."

"Hope for me to what? Turn into a blood-traitor or some kind of..."

"Or maybe there isn't," Lily sighed. Silence stretched over them before the girl finally spoke once more. "Why do you hate me?"

"You're a Mudblood," Regulus answered, this time with confidence in his words.

"And why's that such a bad thing?"

The boy faltered. He hadn't expected that question. "Why?" Regulus huffed quietly, as though the answer were so glaringly obvious that he shouldn't deem it worthy of a response. "Why? Because it's filthy. _You're_ filthy. You and the rest of your kind; tainted with Muggle blood, polluting the purity of magic. It has to be stopped."

"The purity of magic? Why does it matter?" The girl put her hand to her forehead and took a shaky breath before going on. "Why do you think your magic is threatened if it's shared; if it's _tainted_ as you put it?"

"Because it isn't right."

"Why?"

"Because...that's...that's just the way it is. You shouldn't have this...power. You were born into a Muggle world and that's where you belong."

"Why?" Lily repeated, trying in vain to fully open her eyes. "Why am I so unworthy just because my parents aren't wizards? Why should I have to be hurt; be killed even just because I was given a gift?"

"You act like you had no choice in this. You-you brought it on yourself." Regulus held out his hands as he spoke, forcing his voice to stay low enough not to rouse the attention of the nurse. "You could have stayed home with your Muggle parents and this -" he pointed towards her bruised figure "- wouldn't have happened. You didn't _have_ to come here. You _shouldn't_ have come here."

"I'm no different than you, Regulus." Lily pulled her wand from beneath the sheet and held it out for him to see. "My wand chose me, same as yours. Be it magical or Muggle blood in my veins, I still hold power...same as you."

"We are _not_ the same," he snapped.

"Why? Why, Regulus? What's so different about us? Why don't I deserve to have this?" Lily waved her wand wildly towards the boy, making him step back and close his eyes.

And like poison, the word _Why_ seeped into Regulus' system; taking hold in his mind.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Going to be honest, I don't really care for this chapter much. I don't know why, but I've been really blocked lately when it comes to writing and this felt a bit forced. I may go back and smooth it out once I get my flow back, but the plot/events won't change in it. Regardless, thank you for reading and don't hesitate to drop a few words in that review box. :) –Jenna**


	58. A Classic Stand Off

**Hello. Wanted to start this chapter with an AN to remind you of a few things since it's been a while since they were mentioned. If you recall back to the start of term, Regulus and Sarah discussed that he'd been in Italy for two weeks over the summer[ch 29]. Also, if you'll note that in her letters, Bellatrix mentioned "Jugson" teaching Regulus foul Italian words[ch 35]. And if you remember, Della Prang is Sarah's best mate and Sirius' girlfriend. All of those will be needed fresh on your mind when reading this chapter. Now...**

**Chapter 58: A Classic Stand Off**

**.**

"Barty?" Regulus stared across the train compartment at his sleeping friend and sighed. "Barty?" he tried once more. When the other boy made no indication of hearing him Regulus frowned and turned his attention out of the window. He didn't blame Bartemius for needing to sleep; the boy had missed so much over O.W.L.s the last week. That didn't stop Regulus from begrudging his boredom however. It wasn't until he heard the snack witch trolley bounding off the walls of the aisle that the boy finally got to his feet and stood at the door.

"What can I get for you?" the little old woman asked, beaming a smile at Regulus.

Before he had a chance to answer, someone caught his eyes. He furrowed his eyebrows as he watched down the train. His brother was standing in the aisle, deep in a heated discussion with Della Prang. Sirius' hands were flying like mad and Della seemed to be crying. Regulus smirked. He couldn't help but find pleasure in the mess that the girl seemed to be in. And then, his brother turned, locked his eyes onto Regulus and pointed.

The boy was taken aback as both parties now seemed to be staring at him. He frowned and pushed past the waiting snack witch, carrying himself down the aisle to his brother.

"Go on and tell him," Sirius prodded the moment Regulus was next to them.

"Tell me what?" Regulus glanced at Della's guilty face and raised one eyebrow. "Tell. Me. What?"

"Nothing. There's nothing to tell and even if there was, it wouldn't be my place to tell you!" Despite having been answering Regulus' question, Della's eyes never left Sirius' face.

"Oh there's something to tell alright," Sirius growled, grabbing his brother's arm and pulling him closer. "Go on. Tell him! Tell him why she's been gone."

"She who?" Regulus jerked his arm out of Sirius' grip and scowled.

"Your little harpy of a fiancé, that's who."

"Sarah?" Regulus let out a laugh and shook his head. "_Ex_ fiancé and I don't give two fucks where that bint is."

"You will!"

"No, he just said he doesn't care, Sirius!" Della shook her head frantically and backed up from the brothers. "No. I won't do it. If you want him to know then it's _you_ who has to tell him. I'm done; I'm done with both of you!"

Sirius flinched towards the girl as she turned and headed into a compartment, but he didn't make to follow. He grumbled under his breath and dragged his hands through his hair before turning to Regulus.

"Trouble in Paradise?" Regulus chided.

"Black!"

Sirius and Regulus turned at the sound of Evan Rosier's voice. Both wore an identical sneer of distaste; Regulus' for Evan and Sirius' directed to the boy's companion, Severus Snape. The two Slytherins approached the brothers, both sporting snide faces to rival theirs.

"What do you want?" Regulus asked.

"Need to talk to you about something," Evan answered.

"Too damn bad, Rosier," Sirius snapped. "I'm talking to him right now. Get lost."

"Shut up, Black," voiced Severus from his place next to Evan.

"You shut up, Snivellus. You want another fat lip?"

"Oh, easy to talk, jinxing someone from behind. Try it now."

"Maybe I will!"

"Both of you shut the hell up," Evan bit, snapping his fingers so loud it made them all jump. "This is serious, Black," he went on, directing his words straight at Regulus.

Regulus merely nodded and turned his back on them all. He started back for his own compartment, ignoring his brother's pleading to come back and listen to him. He stopped just outside of the door and nodded Evan inside. "Not you," he told Severus.

"He can come in," Evan argued.

"Either he's out here or both of you are."

"What about this one?" Evan yelled, pointing to Bartemius, who was now rubbing at his eyes, startled awake by the loud entrances.

Regulus didn't answer. He folded his arms over his chest and stared at Evan, unyielding. The other boy stared back, face equally stubborn. The match dragged on for near into five minutes before Bartemius stood up and stepped out of the compartment, grabbing Severus' arm as he walked. He glanced back at Regulus and grinned softly before sliding the door closed to give them privacy.

Evan threw himself into the seat vacated by Bartemius and looked up at Regulus. "We want you to take us along," he said unprompted.

"No."

"Don't just say _no_, you can't just write me off that fast. You don't even know where we want to go."

Regulus resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the older boy. "You want to go Italy. Right?" The flash of guilt on Evan's face was enough to confirm it in Regulus' mind. "My answer is no. He can't go."

"And why the fuck not?"

"He doesn't belong with us."

"And Crouch does?" Evan laughed condescendingly. "His father works for the bloody Ministry!"

"I didn't say he did!" Regulus bit down hard on his bottom lip and turned from Evan's view. "I never said he did. He isn't going to Italy either. Why the hell do you want to go with me anyways?"

"I'm not..." Evan shifted in his seat. "I'm not good enough. Yet," he added quickly. "I – _we_ just need a little more training. Someone who won't hold back. Ju-"

"You think it's a fucking game?" Regulus rounded back on Evan and shook his head. "You think you just go and sit around drinking wine and have a few spars with Jugson and it's over?" He scoffed loudly and dropped into his seat, his eyes staring back out of the window. "It doesn't work like that. Sure, it's alright when you're not practicing, but when you are...he doesn't care that you're only seventeen."

"I'm about to be eighteen."

"It doesn't matter! It isn't something you _want_ to do."

"Just because you're weak -"

"Weak?" Regulus smirked over at Evan and pursed his lips. "You think I'm weak? You've got no clue what I'm capable of, Rosier."

"I know plenty. And I also know that if you don't talk your cousin into letting me and Snape come with you, I'm going to tell her everything I know." Evan pointed towards the door and put on a smug grin. "Which means blondie out there will be history."

Regulus tensed his jaw. "Not Snape."

"Both of us."

Slowly, the dark-haired boy shook his head. "No. You can threaten me all you want, but it won't work. Actually...if you threaten me again, threaten _him_ again, I'll leave you in a worse state than your sister was when I took care of her nosy ass."

"You son of a bitch!"

Evan's hand went for his pocket but Regulus was faster. In a blur of action, Regulus was standing over Evan, his wand pressed hard into the boy's chest, his cold grey eyes bearing down into the boy's brown ones. Evan's fingers were tightened around his wand still lodged in his pocket.

"Don't you ever try and pull your wand on me again," the boy sneered into the other's face. "I don't like you and I never will, but one thing is a fact, you're going to end up with me. You're going to be one of us and you're going to be seeing my face around a lot more than you'd like. And as sick as that makes me, I have to accept it. Now what you have to accept is: your little friend out there, he isn't good enough. He's not clean enough. I made you an offer. You can either take it or I can wipe out every damned memory you have since the day we met."

Evan swallowed hard and narrowed his eyes at Regulus. "You think you're so fucking tough right now, don't you? You got a little quicker, maybe, but I can still kick your ass."

Regulus' wand twisted into the boy's chest, his eyes flashing with hate. "You really think you stand a chance against me?"

"I know I do."

The sound of the compartment door sliding open and banging loudly in its slot called Regulus and Evan's attention away from their staring match. Regulus raised one eyebrow at the sight of Severus' wand pointed straight at him. A small chuckle escaped the boy, his head shaking in amusement.

"Lower your wand," Severus ordered.

"Just what do you think you're going to do with that? You make one move and he's gonna put you down." Regulus' gaze darted to the space just over the other boy's right shoulder.

Severus' dark eyes widened just slightly, enough to give him away. Regulus grinned as Bartemius slowly moved around to where Severus could see him, his wand aimed straight for the boy's neck.

"It's time for you two to leave," Bartemius said coolly, his lips twisted into an eerie smile.

"This isn't over," Evan said as he got to his feet and straightened out his robes.

Regulus watched in silence as Evan and Severus took their leave and closed the door behind them. Finally, as he took his seat, he loosened his fingers from around his wand and cringed as they flushed with colour once more. He shifted awkwardly in place, knowing that he was about to be questioned as to what had just happened.

"You don't have to tell me," Bartemius said quietly as he took the place next to Regulus and took the boy's hand. At the other boy's confused look, the blonde smiled. "You're easy to read, Regulus." He sighed quietly and leaned his head over on the boy's shoulder. "Can I just sleep here?"

"No you can't sleep here," Regulus teased, shoving Bartemius in play but not enough to move him. After a moment, he squeezed the boy's hand and tipped his own head back. "Yes, you can stay there," he answered sincerely.

"Good, because I was going to anyways," Bartemius laughed.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Short chapter, yes. But there wasn't really anything I could add without it just being mindless and filler. Thank you for reading. Reviews would be lovely. :) –Jenna**


	59. In the Heart of the Matter

**Chapter 59: In the Heart of the Matter**

**.**

Regulus twirled his wand mindlessly in his fingers, only half watching Kreacher as he moved about the room. The boy sat lazily at the edge of his bed while his house-elf moved from wardrobe to trunk, unpacking his school things and repacking for his trip to Italy. Every so often, the elf would hold up a set of robes or shirt and wait for Regulus' nod of approval before packing the item.

"Wish you could come along," Regulus said casually, giving a sigh at the very idea.

Kreacher stiffened and looked up at his master with even wider eyes than was the norm. "Master Regulus would want Kreacher to leave with him?"

"Well, yes," the boy answered with sincerity. "Not like we'd be gone for good. Just two weeks. Mum would never let you go off like that though." He frowned and fell back onto his bed, his eyes staring up at the wall. "There's more," he sighed.

"Yes, Mistress had Kreacher put all of the newest articles on your wall while you were away, Sir." Kreacher eased the boy's trunk closed and looked up at the collection of newspaper articles pinned to Regulus' wall. Each of them contained some sort of news relating to the Dark Lord; all promising news of the future. "Is there something wrong, Master Regulus? You sound distressed."

"No," Regulus answered quickly, sitting back up right. "Nothing's wrong."

"Mistress says there is much wrong," Kreacher said quietly as he moved closer to Regulus. "Mistress says that there are people...abominations to your blood. Says that one day they will be gone."

"That's right," Regulus answered. "Muggles and Muggle-borns..." He brushed his fingers through his hair and dropped his wand onto his bed beside him. "That's why we follow Him -" he nodded to the wall, indicating he spoke of the Dark Lord "- to get rid of them. He's going to change everything. Wizards won't have to hide from Muggles anymore; we'll control them. Put them in their rightful place. It's only a matter of time. Blokes at the Ministry don't exactly see things the way they should."

The elf extended his hand cautiously, his ears perking slightly. "And what of Kreacher? When these abominations are gone, what will become of us?"

The boy pursed his lips and gave a shrug. "Not really sure, to be honest. You'll...I'd imagine you'll stay as you are now. Doing house-elf...things." He grinned at Kreacher and started to speak again, but the sound of breaking glass and muffled shouts from downstairs sealed his lips. He threw a questioning glance to the elf and without a word, Kreacher popped from the room.

A mere ten seconds passed before Kreacher's body reappeared in the spot it had vanished from. "It's your father, Sir. And your uncle."

"They're fighting?" At the elf's nod, Regulus got to his feet and gathered up his wand. "Did you hear what they were on about?"

"No Sir, Kreacher did not listen. He can go back and hear if Master Regulus would like."

Regulus shook his head and quietly opened his bedroom door. "No, I wanna hear myself," he answered, sneaking silently out of his room and taking a seat at the top of the stairs. He peered down through the railing at the scene below him in the sitting room.

Orion Black was standing at the fireplace, his hands pressed onto the mantle, his typically stoic face contorted in distress. His glasses lay pinched between his fingers, the skin around his eyes red and raw. The man's usually neat dark hair was mussed with the appearance of having had his fingers in it. Behind him stood Cygnus Black, his brother-in-law. The older man was heavy set, his strong jaw covered in a thin beard. His dark eyes were bearing into the back of Orion's head, anger prominent.

"Do you think it was easy for me to watch my daughter run off with that filth?" Cygnus asked, his voice heavy and half-growled.

"It's different," Orion voiced, steady and low. "Andromeda got _married_ she isn't dead. She isn't being...targeted."

"Yet."

"Yet? Well when that yet happens, you can come back and tell me how I should feel." Orion spun around, pointing at the other man, his lips pressed so tightly together they paled. "He's my son damn it. I can't just sit by and -"

"You can and you will." Cygnus took an aggressive step towards his brother-in-law and scowled. "It has has been decided. Sirius is not a part of this family anymore. Why don't you go upstairs and see for yourself? My sister took care of that."

Orion scoffed, turning his back on Cygnus and rubbing at his glasses with his shirt hem. "That bloody tapestry does not tell me who my family is. Sirius is my son and nothing is going to change that. I don't...I don't care what he's done."

"He's a traitor."

"He's a child. Children make mistakes; he'll come back, he'll see the light."

"He's gone, damn it!" Cygnus slammed his hand onto an end table, making the antique lamp perched upon it topple and hit the floor. "I don't like this attitude from you, Orion. You're acting weak and foolish. My sister says you've been adding extra protection to the house!"

"We're in a war," Orion snapped. "I'm trying to protect my home; my _family_."

"Protect from who?"

The men locked their gazes, staring hard at each other, neither showing signs of defeat. Hands twitched and curled. Regulus sat still, his breath hitched painfully in his throat. For a moment he thought his father and uncle were going to duel. He barely realized that his own wand was clutched tightly in his left hand, pointed straight at his uncle's shoulder.

Orion let out a heavy breath. "Not Regulus."

"That isn't for you to decide." Cygnus sneered at the other man and shook his head. "I didn't come here to discuss this with you. You don't have a choice in the matter. I came to share, I came out of _respect_ to you and my sister. I thought you deserved to know."

"You expect me to be grateful? I will not stand by and allow this to happen."

Cygnus shook his head and sighed at the floor before repeating, "You do not have a choice. The order will be given when he gets home from Italy." The man threw a fleeting glance at his brother-in-law before turning and walking out of the house without another word.

Regulus sat wide-eyed. He hadn't the slightest clue what the two were talking about, but he'd heard enough to know that it involved himself and Sirius. The boy swallowed back his nerves and slowly got to his feet. He watched his father stand motionless as he descended the stairs and approached the man.

"Regulus," Orion whispered, laying one heavy hand on his son's shoulder.

The boy stared at his father's touch as though the world were going to crumble around him and dissolve into a dream. He couldn't remember ever being touched by his father: no pats on the back, no discipline, no comforting hugs or proud handshakes. Not that he could put it all on the man. Regulus had never been an affectionate or needy child.

"Regulus," the man whispered again, putting his free hand over his chest. "Go get your mother. I think something's wrong." He twisted his fingers into his sweater and closed his eyes tightly, his other hand squeezing his son's shoulder.

"F-father what's wrong?" Regulus grabbed the man's wrist and stared in shock as his father dropped to his knees and let out a pain-filled groan. "Father!"

* * *

The bright lights in the waiting area of St. Mungo's Hospital irritated Regulus' eyes. He hung his head, resting it in his hands as he sat in the furthest back corner of the area. His knees bounced with nerves; hating that he was left waiting and clueless. The sound of sharp heels clicking across the hospital's tiled floor caught the boy's attention. His eyes sought out the source, narrowing in annoyance when they found his cousin, Bellatrix.

"It's time to go." The woman tilted her head towards the entrance and tapped her toe.

"Go? I'm not going anywhere until I know what happened." Regulus jumped from his seat, a moment of sheer defiance taking him over. When Bellatrix's lips parted to object, the boy bared his teeth and folded his arms. "I am not leaving until I know something."

Bellatrix smirked, her eyebrows raising minutely. "I didn't give you a choice."

"I'm making one anyways." The boy pushed past his cousin, charging towards the reception desk. "I want to see my father."

The young witch behind the counter flustered and stuttered, shaking her head. "Mister Black I can't -"

"Regulus," Walburga's voice cut in. She curled her finger at her son and held her head up high, waiting for him to heed her call. "He wants to see you."

"So he's -"

"He's alive." Regulus couldn't tell if his mother was pleased or angered by this fact. Her face stayed empty and dark. "They've put him on the fourth floor, thought he'd been jinxed at first. He had a heart attack." She rolled her shoulders back, her nose raising further into the air. "Make it fast, you have to leave soon."

Regulus nodded at his mother and stepped into the lifts without her. After asking a Healer on the proper floor, he was directed to his father's room. "You wanted to see me, Sir?" he asked quietly, pushing the door closed and stepping up next to the man.

It was the first time the boy had ever seen his father appear weak. Orion turned his face towards his son and nodded slightly in answer. "You're not wearing your watch."

For a moment Regulus wasn't sure if he'd heard correctly. He rubbed at his wrist and shrugged. "I don't want to. It..." He looked off, not wanting to discuss such things with the man.

"Sirius is your brother." Orion took a heavy breath and held up his hand to keep his son silent. "He made his choice and it was the wrong one. Leaving this family, turning his back on our values and propriety, he made a mistake. But he _is_ your brother and don't you dare forget that."

"I don't understand," Regulus whispered.

"Your uncle came by to tell me that the Dark Lord has come to a decision about Sirius. Apparently he and some of his mates have joined up with the enemies and He isn't happy about this. He..." The man looked up into his son's eyes and pleaded through them. "He's going to give you an order when you come home."

Regulus lowered himself into a chair and leaned closer to his father. "What order?" he forced out.

"He's going to order you to kill him." Orion's jaw tensed and he slowly raised his arm. His fingers graced over the clasp of his own watch and released it. "I want you to take this." He pulled the heavy gold from around his wrist and passed it to his youngest son. "I bought it a few months ago. The second hand is off a bit, I haven't had the mind to fix it."

Regulus ran his fingers over the watch and looked up at his father with confusion on his face. "Why are you giving me this?"

"It's yours. I bought it for your seventeenth but your mother insisted that you had the family watch. So, I just kept it for myself." He swallowed hard and turned his eyes away from his son. "You need to go. Your cousin will be hysterical if you're late."

"Yes Sir," Regulus answered, slipping the watch on his wrist. He never understood the reason, but he'd walked into that hospital room feeling like a child and walked out a man.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thank you so much for reading. I would love to hear what you think of the chapter -or just the story over all. Next chapter, Regulus is off to Italy. I'll actually be writing out some scenes for the summer this time, rather than the way it was skipped last one. :) –Jenna**


	60. Must be the Wine

**Chapter 60: Must be the Wine**

**.**

The small Italian village of Purezza was an all-magical community right outside of Aosta, near the Swiss border. It was a picturesque scene with small homes, children running and giggling in their yards and a small row of shops and cafés. But beneath the beauty and tranquility, the village held a secret: it served as a dark foothold for Voldemort to gain support from the country. It also served as a discrete training ground to Death Eaters. The only way to arrive was by Portkey because it was so heavily warded one could not simply walk or Apparate in to the village.

"Regulus!" An excited and boisterous voice met Regulus' ears the moment he arrived via his Portkey. A heavy hand fell on the boy's shoulder, directing him away from the landing spot where Bellatrix still stood with his trunk. "My gods, would you look at yourself. You've grown one, maybe two inches since last summer!"

Regulus rolled his eyes in offense, but still smiled up at the man speaking. Over six foot, broad shouldered with a strong, handsome face: Jugson was a powerful looking man. But when he smiled, the harsh nature of his appearance seemed to fade away; his light eyes shined and genuine joy radiated. His laugh was carefree and near infectious as he continued to steer the young boy away from his cousin. Behind them, Bellatrix's insistence for them to stop could be heard.

"Don't worry about it, I've got him from here. Delivery made; you can be on your way now, Mrs. _Lestrange_." Jugson refused to look back at the woman, his pace quickening. He ignored her sneered reply and smiled down at Regulus. "Dinner? We can wait until morning to get started. You better not have been slacking."

"Course I haven't!" Regulus smiled back but he knew better than to let his guard down. Jugson was a friendly man when he wanted to be, but his heart was black with the common hatred of anyone less than pure. The man was ruthless, cruel and borderline sadistic; Regulus never let himself forget that. He took a deep breath and threw one last fleeting glance back at his cousin.

The two settled into a tiny outdoor café, the heat of the dry night air forcing them both the shed their robes. Keeping their Dark Marks covered wasn't a priority in the village; the citizens were all sympathizers to Voldemort's way and showered his followers with attention and praise. To wear a Dark Mark in Purezza assured you near celebrity status.

"Your fan club has been asking about you all week. You shoulda seen the face on Daniela when I told her you were coming today." Jugson gave a Cheshire grin to Regulus and leaned back in his chair, his eyes trailing off behind the boy in a poignant way. "Never mind, you can see it now."

Regulus' face fell, a small groan escaping his lips as he hesitantly turned around and spotted two girls. He was quickly flanked by two blondes, both looking at him as though he were going to suddenly vanish from their sight. They spoke to each other in such quick Italian the boy could barely make out anything they were saying. From the way they would look to each other, then to him, he figured they were discussing him, despite not understanding them.

"Look I'm kind of tired at the moment," Regulus tried, which Jugson quickly repeated in Italian. The grin on the man's face made Regulus wonder how accurately he was translated. "I just wanna have dinner and get some sleep." He met the man's eyes across the table and silently pleaded for help. "Can you just tell them I'm _not_ interested? Tell them I have a girlfriend or something."

Jugson gave a small nod, rattled off in Italian and smiled with accomplishment. The girls looked to each other, giggled happily and bounced away without another word. Regulus didn't ask what the man had told them, he really didn't want to know.

"They're very pretty," Jugson said pointedly.

"Yes, they are. I'm really not interested in them though." Regulus frowned at the table, not liking the direction the conversation was headed. "I have someone," he added for a quick save. Not a technical lie, so his face didn't betray him in the slightest.

Jugson hummed his answer; Regulus couldn't tell if it was defiant or dismissive. The man didn't speak again until after their wine came. "You're a bit like me, yes? Maybe too much, I think. You're too picky. Guys like you and me, we can have any woman we want, but we set our standards too high."

"Not _any_ woman." Regulus' grey eyes narrowed mockingly. "Don't think I couldn't hear that bitter tone in your voice earlier. You're never going to forgive Bella are you?"

"She made her choice," the man spat. "Now she has to live with it. If she wants to carry on with that waste of space _Lestrange_, then she's welcome to it."

A loud throat clearing cough echoed behind Jugson, making him grin. "I do hope you're referring to my brother and not myself." Laughter seeped from Rabastan Lestrange as he slipped into a seat at the table. He kicked back, lounging lazily in his chair, a nonchalant smile glued to his lips.

At first glance, one wouldn't think Rabastan to be Rodolphus' brother. In stark contrast to his brother's sheered light hair, Rabastan sported a dark mess of thick locks that looked purposely untidy. His eyes were a light blue; his body well toned. The only real similarity between the siblings was their soft, slightly crooked smile. But where Rabastan had three fold over his brother's appearance, he lacked greatly in power; he could barely hold his own in even practice duels.

Mid-meal, the conversation took its usual anti-Muggle turn. The two men carried on with their insults and jokes; Regulus watched on in silence, sipping his unwanted wine and picking at his less than flavorful meal. The boy laughed when it was required of him and nodded along when eyes met his.

"Regulus, you don't seem in good spirits tonight." Rabastan patted the boy on the shoulder, giving him a rough shake.

"A lot on my mind, I suppose." He smiled falsely and gave a shrug.

"Do share." Rabastan prodded him, his eyes narrowing slightly in a dare to defy.

Regulus gave a forced laugh and shook his head. "Just thinking on all of this, to be honest. I mean, exactly what are we fighting against?" He placed his glass back on the table and leaned back into his chair. "Muggles and such, they're _dirty_ and _wrong_ and..." He waved his hand dismissively and sighed. "I guess I'm just wondering _why_ is all."

"Why? Why what, Regulus?" Rabastan scoffed, his gaze darting towards Jugson's now-stoic face.

The boy cleared his throat and tilted his head. "Just...why. I mean, why are they dirty and wrong? We hate Muggles right? And Muggle-borns and by extent even Half-bloods. And then we hate our own kind if they don't _also_ hate Muggles and..." He sighed heavily and rubbed his hands over his face. "I guess I just don't understand the why of it."

"They're a disgrace. An abomination; a plague on our world," Rabastan answered almost methodically.

Regulus fought off a wry grin; he'd heard that exact line more times than he could count. It was the customary reply for such a question. He nodded slightly before meeting the man's eyes. "But why?" A soft chuckle escaped him at seeing Rabastan's shocked face. "I'm just curious. One could even say that there are _more_ of them, so by logical reasoning _we_ are the...plague, more or less."

Jugson leaned forward, a tight smile on his lips. "Sounds like someone's had a bit too much wine."

"He's had one glass," the other man argued.

"Yes, well he's rather small. And young still." He slapped his hand on the table, letting out a jovial laugh. "Can't fault the boy for not being able to hold his own." He stared down Rabastan's defiant expression and got to his feet. "I think it's about we time we got going anyways, isn't it Regulus?"

The boy nodded obediently and stood. He followed Jugson in silence, his eyes locked on the back of the man's head as they walked slowly back to his home. Once inside, Jugson closed the door and turned to Regulus, his lips pursed in thought. He grabbed the boy's shoulder and brought his face so close to Regulus', he could detect every trace of the man's meal.

"Do you know I was in love once? When I was very young; your age."

"No."

"She was a Muggle." His eyes closed for a moment, his face twisting in a mix of remorse and disgust. "I met her during the summer between my sixth and seventh year. Everything was fine until I went back to school. You see, her father was...a very very bad man. And she used to write to me telling me how much pain she was in, how she wanted to leave and -" he paused to lick his lips and take a long breath "- wanted him to _pay_ for what he did to her. Foolish me, I believed her."

Jugson laughed cynically and shook his head. "Christmas holiday, I went to her house. Her father was the first man I ever killed. There I was, _freeing_ her from the son of a bitch and she starts screaming. She went completely mental. And that is when I realized that Muggles are ignorant and _weak_. They don't have magic because they're not strong enough for it. And people like us -" he pushed his finger into Regulus' chest "- it's our job to get rid of the weakness in the world."

Regulus stared hard into the man's eyes and nodded slowly. He swallowed back his pride and ducked out of the man's grip then headed for the room he'd occupied the previous summer. The boy fell heavily onto his bed, staring around for his trunk, knowing that Jugson's house-elf, Obbedire would have already brought it around. All he wanted was to sleep; he knew that the next day he would pay for his moment of outspokenness.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Another short chapter, I know. But thanks for reading! :) –Jenna**


	61. The Wicked Games they Play

**Chapter 61: The Wicked Games they Play**

**.**

Dirt filled Regulus' mouth and clung to his lips, caked on by dried blood. He spat towards the ground, but it did no good, there was just too much and his tongue was long since dry. The heat of the summer sun had his skin red and stinging. He was drenched with his own sweat and his hair was plastered to his head. Every muscle in him screamed with each move, but he forced his body push through it. He felt disgusting and exhausted, but most of all, he felt angry.

"That one barely even touched you!"

Jugson's voice carried to Regulus' ears, but the boy only half understood him. He was dizzy and having trouble focusing; the glaring sun was a hindrance on his dehydrated self. He lifted his wand and narrowed his eyes as he sent a stunning hex soaring at the laughing man.

The blonde easily batted away Regulus' hex with a shield spell and shook his head. "You're not even trying anymore." The man charged at Regulus and twisted his hand into the boy's shirt. He shook him angrily and sneered into his face. "You're getting lazy and sloppy!" He flung the boy to the ground and rolled his eyes at the groan that broke from Regulus' mouth. "What did you do all year? Sit around batting your eyes at your girlfriend? Get the hell up and fight me, you lazy sod!"

"I'm not lazy!" Regulus flung his arms out as Jugson pulled him from the ground by his collar and shook him again. "I just need a fucking break!" he growled, trying once again, in vain, to spit the dirt from his mouth.

"A break?" The man laughed in Regulus' face and lowered his lips to the boy's ear, his forehead pressing against his sweat soaked hair without care. "You think that an Auror would give you a break?" His words were low and steady and sent a sickening chill down Regulus' spine. "You think they give two shits if you're young or if you're _tired_? Because they don't; they will take you out."

Something inside of Regulus broke. It was as if a dam lay inside of him, holding back a new wave of strength and power. His near ended body was renewed; he tensed and his left arm swung up, jabbing the tip of his wand into Jugson's throat. The blonde man choked out a cough and released his hold on the boy to clutch at his throat. He stumbled back a few steps, his body bent, his eyes locked up on Regulus. His mouth curved into a distorted, proud smile.

The man's wand twitched and a stream of red soared towards Regulus but it didn't matter, he'd already put up a shield. He pointed his wand high, aiming for Jugson's head. "_Confringo_!"

Jugson's eyes bulged as he dropped heavily to the ground, narrowly avoiding being hit in the face by Regulus' spell. He let out a strangled cry and looked back over his shoulder just as the blast of light hit a crooked sign post. The wood was instantly engulfed in flames, devoured in a matter of moments. The fire crackled and spread over the surrounding grass, threatening to take the whole practice field.

The man pushed himself to his feet and doused the flames before turning back to Regulus, his arms at his side. Regulus still stood in casting position, his wand trained once again for Jugson's face. His eyes were dead and cold, his body unwavering. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed and sleep for the next month, but that was impossible. He wasn't going to show weakness.

"Well done." Jugson's tone was bordering on bitter. "That's enough for now. Let's go get a drink."

Regulus didn't lower his wand until he was sure Jugson's was out of sight. He slowly let his arm move to his side and peeled his fingers from the tightly gripped mahogany. He flexed his hand to relax the muscles and swept the sweat from his forehead before following the man to the local bar.

* * *

Sleep was once again playing its twisted game with Regulus: evasion and torture.

The boy tossed and turned and struggled in a mess of bedsheets beneath him, trying to find any semblance of comfort. The nights were just as hot as the days in Purezza and the boy was drenched in sweat. He'd already stripped down to no more than his boxers, but it didn't matter, the heat was still unbearable. His skin still stung red from the sun's daily attack; sunblock spells abandoned. His hair was knotted and plastered at odd angles from all the movement. Every time he forced his eyes closed, blue spots dotted his vision and made his stomach turn.

The few moments of sleep that did come to Regulus were fitful and trying on his mind. Images of death and destruction haunted his every dream. They always started the same: with Anthony. For a year he'd been reliving that moment through nightmares but he was no less shaken by it now than he was the first time. Night after night he'd watched himself raise his wand, heard himself say those two words. The dream-him would rush over, try to stand in the way of the curse but it never worked, he was never quick enough. His mind was plagued with repeatedly watching his only love crumple into lifeless heap on a cold, filthy stone floor in Lestrange Manor.

It didn't stop there. He watched himself restrain a screaming woman while Bellatrix leaned over her husband, questioning him. His mind replayed the order to kill them both, and his unquestioning jump to carry it out. And the owner of a small bookshop in Liverpool, then a man who publicly started a movement to protect the rights of Muggle-borns, and small Muggle woman clutching the hand of her son... One green flash after another raged through his every sleeping moment until he woke up, clutching at his chest and panting for breath.

His eyes opened wide; his head shook in a desperate attempt to clear his mind of the images. Roughly, the boy rubbed his hands over his face and sat up in the bed, reaching behind him to peel the sweat-clung sheet from his bruised body. He groaned. The last ten days with Jugson had been far worse than he'd even anticipated. The fights were more violent from the previous summer, the taunts crueler, the pain more searing: all to prove some vague point that Regulus wasn't living up to what was expected of him. His beaten form ached with every twist and turn, but he pushed the concept of pain from his mind.

Regulus glanced towards his open window. The sun was just at the point before rising, when its light threatened to creep over the horizon, but the white moon still glared down over them. It was beautiful: like the sky itself was warring for dominance over the earth.

"Things are going to get worse."

Regulus jumped at the voice and whipped his head towards his doorway. He expected to see the speaker, but the room was empty, save himself. He frowned heavily. He'd been sure that he had closed the door fully when he went to bed the night before, but now it stood ajar. "What's gonna get worse?" He wasn't even sure who he was speaking to. He merely assumed someone stood on the other side of the door. When no answer came he snatched up his wand and climbed out of bed.

"Everything."

The answer sounded just as Regulus' hand reached the doorknob. The voice was so wispy and distant he wasn't even sure it was human. He carefully pulled the door open and cut his eyes around the stark empty hallway. "Hello?" Bare feet glided across the dirty, hardwood floor. Fingers curled tightly around a wand. Grey eyes darted frantically in search of another soul. "What...what do you mean it's going to get worse? Who's going to make it worse?"

Silence dragged on; all Regulus could hear was his own pulse raging in his ears. Curiosity was replaced with anger. "What the hell is going on? If you want something, then bloody come out here!" He didn't care if his shouts would wake Jugson or not; for all he knew it was the man trying to mess with his head. He opened his mouth to shout again when a flash of movement caught the corner of his eyes.

The boy snapped to attention, his wand pointed towards the movement before he even had to think on it. His eyes narrowed with fury as he saw nothing but the chillingly still room. "I saw you," he called out, but his words lacked any conviction. "I'm going back to bed." He dropped his arm to his side and hurried back to his room, making sure to close the door tightly before crawling back into his bed.

Regulus pulled his pillow into his arms and leaned back against his headboard. His eyes trained out of the window, watching a tiny nest of birds pick at the dirt in the neighbors flowerbed. He rubbed the tips of his fingers against his temple and fought to even his erratic breathing. The sharp gasps made his head swim and turned his stomach.

"You're going to make it worse."

He didn't look around, there was no need. He'd have bet his life on being the only one in that room. He closed his eyes tightly and pressed his face into his pillow, letting out an angry scream into the dingy white folds. "Stop!" he begged to nothing. His hand jumped to his head, his fingers twisted tightly in his hair, pulling at it until the pain became near unbearable. "Stop! Stop! Stop!"

The door swung open and banged against the wall so hard it vibrated across the room, shaking the framed pictures that hung all around. Jugson rushed into the room, waving his wand around as he searched for whoever or whatever Regulus was screaming at. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. Nothing's going on." Regulus' words shook slightly. "I'm fine, put down your wand."

"You were yelling!" Jugson argued, wand still poised.

"I...I was talking in my sleep. I didn't mean to."

Jugson turned to Regulus, wand slowly lowering to his side. His eyes locked onto the boy's as though he was searching for signs of a lie. "You're sure?" When Regulus nodded the man heaved a sigh. "Bloody brat. Time to get up as it is, we have company." He grumbled and pulled a face that showed he was clearly not thrilled with the new arrival.

Regulus watched Jugson push out of the room, leaving a tall, slender boy alone in the doorway.

"Oh...did the little baby have a nightmare?" sneered Evan Rosier. He leaned against the door frame, arms crossed. "You don't look happy to see me, Black."

Regulus was about to curse the other boy when a sudden thought occurred to him. "Are...you staying here for training?" When Evan gave a small nod, Regulus' smile stretched across his face so far it almost hurt. "In that case, I'm _very_ happy to see you."

Evan didn't understand what Regulus had meant until he was face down in the dirt for the dozenth time that afternoon. He pushed himself from the ground, only to stumble and fall back over with the effort. Regulus stood behind him, wand loosely pointed in the older boy's direction, a sick laugh breaking from his lips.

Regulus' cold eyes watched with a twisted glee as Evan fought to shake off the weariness from his curse. He raised his wand again, ready to strike, but a heavy hand took his wrist. He met Jugson's gaze and the two shared a smile before the man pushed his arm down.

"Let him recover first." Jugson nodded towards Evan as the boy was finally getting on his feet.

"Let him..._recover_?" Regulus' eyes widened, his jaw tightening. "What happened to _an Auror doesn't care if you're young or tired_? Huh! Why should I let him recover? You sure as fuck didn't give me that chance!"

Jugson took a step back from the boy and smiled. And that's when Regulus realized he was being tested; given a choice. He could have put his wand away and let Evan steady himself or he could have attacked without mercy the way Jugson had been drilling into him every day. The blonde man folded his arms and tilted his head slightly, it was obvious he wasn't going to interfere either way.

Regulus glanced towards Evan and memories of every snide insult, every cheeky remark, every misstep the boy had ever made to him surfaced. In the back of his mind he reminded himself that Evan Rosier was on his team, despite the bitterness. They were on the same side of the war. But tiny voices were not enough to soothe the anger.

Regulus made his choice and lifted his wand once more.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Hey guys and gals, I wanna start by saying that ff(dot)net here has a new review reply system. So if you have your account set to where you cannot receive PMs from other members, then I cannot reply to your review. So thank you for them, even though I can't tell you personally. Every single review is greatly appreciated and I adore you all! Other than that, I just want to say thank you for reading. :) –Jenna**


	62. Worries, Waiting & a Needed Distraction

**Chapter 62: Worries, Waiting & a Needed Distraction**

**.**

Regulus' fingertips drummed loudly over the wooden surface of his kitchen table. The boy sat with a look of mixed boredom and worry across his face. His mother bustled about the house, ordering Kreacher here and there, tidying up and putting each room at its very best. Walburga was going to make sure that they made a good impression on their _guest_.

Orion was shut off in his study. Rest and relaxation is what the Healers had ordered, but Regulus wondered how much rest his father was actually getting. Sometimes at night, he could hear the man moving downstairs, muttering enchantments and reinforcing old charms. They didn't dare speak of it.

The longer Regulus sat, the more panicked he became. He knew what the Dark Lord's visit was meant to be about. His father had made it clear that Regulus would be ordered to kill his own brother; remove Sirius from the family tree once and for all. The thought of killing someone wasn't what had Regulus in such a nervous state, it was _who_ they wanted killed. Orion didn't want Regulus to murder his own brother, the man was quite firm about that in his hospital bed.

But how? Did Regulus' father expect him to just stand up and say '_no thank you_' to the Dark Lord himself? Deny a direct order? The Mark on Regulus' forearm felt heavier than it ever had. The grey that tarnished his smooth pale skin wanted to pull him straight through the floor and down into the dirt. Buried six feet under by his own choices, the poetic justice was not lost on him. The boy rubbed absentmindedly over his arm and shifted in his seat.

He didn't want to think about Dark Marks and orders. He didn't want to think about his brother or his father. He didn't want to think about the future or punishment or anything at all! Regulus raised his fingertips to his temples and tried to massage away the thoughts that wouldn't turn loose of his ragged mind. He needed to be out of the house, needed fresh air and conversation that was built for distraction. His hand moved to his pocket and clenched around a letter that had arrived that very morning. He wasn't familiar with London's streets, but knew that someone could point him towards the address.

Regulus was at the front door before his mother caught him. "Where do you think you're going?" the woman hissed, her fingers curling around her son's wrist to keep him from moving.

"Just going for a walk. I'll be back by dinner, I promise," the boy assured her. "I need to get out of here, all that furniture polish is giving me a headache."

Walburga's jaw tightened but she released her son. "If you're late, so help me -"

"If I'm late, you are the last person I'll worry about." Regulus scowled. Did his mother really think he was so stupid that he'd be late for a summon from Lord Voldemort himself? Not to mention Bellatrix... "I'll be back soon." With that, he pushed out of the front door and into the summer heat of the London streets. As much as he hated Apparation he'd have preferred it to walking around and getting sweaty. But he didn't know exactly where he was going.

It only took asking two Muggles until one of them knew exactly how to get to the intended address. Luckily it wasn't far either, so Regulus was there within half an hour. The house was almost too perfect. Nice little window boxes with perfectly spaced, same height sunflowers in them sat below the windows of the brownstone. The pattern on the front door made it look like wood was smiling at you from the end of the path. The pavement leading to the porch was clean and inlaid with bits silver.

A small house-elf answered the door quickly. Her wide eyes took in Regulus and without asking a thing, she turned into the house. "Master Barty, you have a visitor!" she called out. The creature ushered Regulus into the house and thrust a glass of lemonade into his hands before he could speak.

"Th-thank you," he stuttered out, so taken aback by the house-elf's manner of serve first, ask later. His eyes took in the sitting room. The show of near perfection hadn't stopped at the yard, every picture donned the walls at an exact height, spaced evenly apart; knickknacks lined the tiny shelves, all dusted and polished to a shine; the hardwood almost had a glow about it. For the first time, Regulus thought that Bartemius wasn't so odd compared to his family.

"I didn't know who to expect, but I was hoping it would be you."

Bartemius' voice called Regulus from his trance and he beamed a smile at the boy as he crossed the sitting room. Even for summer, the blonde was dressed as though he were about to go to a special event. His neat clothes only reinforced the idea that the Crouch household was not one to condone stepping out of line. Regulus hated it.

"You don't have to drink that," Bartemius told him softly as he took the glass from Regulus' hand and set it on a round of cork on the nearest end table. "Come on, let's go upstairs."

Their fingers tangled together effortlessly, finding that familiar and comforting hold even after so many weeks apart. Regulus tried to tug away but Bartemius held firm. "Your parents?"

"They aren't home. Mum's shopping and dad's at work. Like always..."

Regulus didn't push because the look on the other boy's face was one bearing more hatred than he'd ever seen on him. He nodded and followed behind Bartemius as they headed upstairs. Regulus wasn't sure what to expect of the blonde's bedroom, so he wasn't surprised to find it mimicked the rest of the household with it's forced perfection. The only bits out of place were a book laying upon the desk, its mark hanging halfway out, and a slightly askew chair indicating that Regulus' visit had called the other boy from his reading.

"Did you have fun in Italy?" Bartemius asked as he turned towards the other boy and pulled him close.

"Fun?" Training, fighting, vengeance, screaming, pain even, but...fun? "Yeah, it was great."

"You're still a horrible liar," the other boy teased and silenced Regulus' intended protest with a chaste kiss. "What brings you here?" he whispered, tugging the other boy closer to his bed.

"Not..._that_," Regulus answered, forcing Bartemius to a stop. "Just wanted to talk I guess." He gave a noncommittal shrug and pulled the other boy closer, holding him around the waist. Brown eyes questioned him and he answered by tightening his hold. "I'm okay."

"You're ly-"

"Just let me have this one, okay?" Regulus laughed. His racing heart and aching chest were not going to force him into moving away. He was in charge. If he couldn't command his own body how was he ever going to gain the respect he wanted – nay, needed – to get through life in one piece. The thought only served as an opening floodgate and all at once the worries seeped into his head. Brother. Father. Dark Mark. Murder. Murder. Murder. His face twisted in pain and he released Bartemius from his hold. "I just need some time out of the house. We're having _company_ tonight."

"You mean the Dark Lord?" Bartemius' eyes widened with excitement. "He's going to your house? To see you? That's amazing!"

"I suppose. I'm just worried." Regulus paced the floor as he started speaking. The story poured from his lips like water: the fight between Orion and Cygnus, his father's heart attack, the task he was going to be given, the dinner with Jugson and Rabastan, the hell that was training, Evan's appearance and everything he'd done to him. By the time he was finished speaking, he was exhausted.

Bartemius sat on the edge of his bed, gaze transfixed and holding onto every word. "Are you afraid that you're not going to be able to beat Sirius? Or...that you won't have the courage?" His hand extended towards Regulus and the other boy came to him without hesitation.

"More like I don't want to." The dark-haired boy let himself be pulled into an embrace and buried his face into the other's neck. The familiar scent of spice, lavender and citrus was comforting; almost the universe's way of reminding Regulus that not everything changed. His lips found Bartemius' neck and left a trail over the boy's heated skin.

The blonde pulled away teasingly and met Regulus' grey eyes. "I thought you didn't want that," he whispered, his fingers passing through the boy's dark locks and playing across the collar of his shirt.

"Changed my mind," Regulus answered, his mouth covering the other boy's roughly. He'd sought out for Bartemius for comfort and distraction and that would offer both.

The ticking of the clock on Bartemius' bedside table counted off the moments they spent wrapped in each other's arms. _Tick_, _tick_, _tick_. Shirts falling from shoulders and heated kisses. _Tick_, _tick_, _tick_. Fingers winding into bedsheets and nails dragging across reddened skin. _Tick_, _tick_, _tick_. Sweat breaking, names whispered. _Tick_, _tick_, _tick_. Lips and teeth and hands, sometimes gentle, sometimes rough. Give and take. _Tick_, _tick_, _tick_. Both allowed thoughts of family, Dark Marks and reality to melt away with the time.

And in the after moments, there was silence. Clothes replaced, bedsheets straightened, hair tidied, sweat dried away without a single sound or glance between them. To say thank you would feel cheap but at that moment, Regulus did feel gratitude towards the other boy; gratitude for easing his troubled mind. There was nothing to be said and Bartemius made that clear by taking the boy's hand and pressing a soft kiss to his fingers. A simple gesture of affection that said more than words ever could.

From downstairs the sound of the opening door made both boys run rigid. "That's my mum," Bartemius whispered, wrenching his door open and propping it against the wall as though it had been sitting there the whole time. He hurried across his room and tossed Regulus the book from his desk before grabbing up a quill and putting on a smile of pure innocence.

Regulus wondered what the scene looked like from Mrs. Crouch's point of view. There was her son, looking so innocent it was suspicious, holding a quill for no clear reason. And some strange boy, holding an upside book and staring at her with wide, confused eyes.

"Barty..." The woman began, her brown eyes darting from one boy to the other, trying to connect things in her mind. "You didn't say you were having company." Her fingers smoothed back her blonde hair the same way Regulus had seen his mother do when trying to gain control of the situation.

"My fault," Regulus answered quickly. "I just dropped in. Didn't give any warning. Terribly sorry."

"It's quite alright, dear. I just wasn't expecting anyone." Mrs. Crouch's smile was genuine and Regulus relaxed. "Are you going to introduce me?" she prompted her son.

"Right!" Bartemius tossed his ruse of a quill onto the desk and shoved Regulus forward a bit. "This is Regulus. Regulus, this is my mum."

"Regulus _Black_? Oh Barty if you're father knew that -"

"He doesn't know, and he won't know."

A silent agreement passed between mother and son as they held each other's identical eyes. "Right, I'll have Winky bring up some lemonade for you two." The woman regarded the dark-haired boy with kind eyes, a bit of pity reflecting inside her gaze. "And a snack maybe?"

"No ma'am, nothing for me, I have to go actually." There was nothing Regulus wanted more at that moment than to sit down and enjoy lemonade with Bartemius and his mother, but the crawling tingle that was making its way up his left arm had other plans.

"What?" Bartemius was wounded.

Regulus turned his back on Mrs. Crouch and discreetly lifted his sleeve enough so that Bartemius could see his Dark Mark turning black over his skin. The blonde nodded in understanding and Regulus rushed from the house.

Back on the street he Disapparated without care. Regulus knew very well that he wasn't late, but the call had come from his own home.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: So, thank you for reading. Not too much heavy business in this chapter, more of a preparation for what's coming next. Hope that you enjoyed and don't hesitate to leave a few words in the review box. Thanks! :) –Jenna**


	63. Unexpected Assignment

**Chapter 63: Unexpected Assignment**

**.**

"Are you out of your mind?" Walburga's hiss met Regulus' ears the moment he stepped through his front door. "How dare you be late." The woman's face was flush with worry and her hands shaking over the edges of her robes.

Mother or not, Regulus frowned up at the woman and pursed his lips. "I am _not_ late. If anything, He's early," the boy hissed right back, tugging his shirt hem to make himself more presentable.

"You insolent little..." A new voice cut between mother and son, slicing through them both like the cold steel of a blade. Bellatrix's heels clicked softly on the floor of the entryway as she stepped towards Regulus, her hips swaying with each move. "You question the Dark Lord?" Her grey eyes narrowed and her hand reached towards him.

Regulus stepped out of his cousin's intended grasp and batted her hand away, uncaring. "I didn't question anyone." It didn't matter how powerful anyone was, he would not be accused of things he was not guilty for.

"I heard you," the woman countered.

"Now, now Bella."

The smooth cool voice brought a smile to Bellatrix's lips and her head dipped at once as she stepped out of the way for the speaking man. "My Lord," she whispered in her most adoring tone.

Lord Voldemort laid his hand upon the woman's shoulders and squeezed it gently; his thin fingers looked almost brittle compared to her full shoulders and lush robes. "He is correct, Bella. We are...early." The man turned his dark gaze towards Regulus and offered up what might have been a grin. His hallow cheeks and waxy skin made it difficult to believe any genuine amusement could come from the man, however.

Regulus stared at the Dark Lord far too long, he always did. Each time was like seeing him for the first time; the stretches between each personal visit were so long that some trace of the man's features was always different. Eyes wider, cheeks a bit more sunken, lips paler. The boy often wondered if Voldemort had been a handsome man some ten years previous.

He bowed his head and echoed a greeting. "I meant no insult."

"Of course you didn't child." Regulus flinched at the demeaning form of address but the Dark Lord took no notice, or took no care. The man held out his hand and tipped his head towards the staircase. "Come, I have something to discuss with you before dinner."

Silently Regulus followed the man up the stairs. Perhaps it was because he'd just left the boy's company but he found himself comparing the Dark Lord to Bartemius in his mind. So similar in ways: the way their robes never seemed to wrinkle, their hair never fell out of place. But that was where the likeness died, there was no light in the Dark Lord's eyes, no comfort or hope for tomorrow. Where Regulus could find relief in his -dare he say- boyfriend he only found brewing resentment when looking upon the man he called Lord.

For a moment his stomach turned at the thought of the Dark Lord entering his bedroom. His place of safety and the one room in which he could hide away his deepest secrets. But the man continued past Regulus' door and pushed into the drawing room. Effortlessly he glided across the floor and came to a stop before the Black family tapestry.

Regulus needed no instructions. He closed the door behind them and stood in silence beside the Dark Lord. Minutes passed, the boy's heart racing with what he knew would come. The _order_.

"Such a nice tapestry," the man mused. "Pity it is so tarnished by these markings." His fingers brushed over the burned spot that was once Cedrella Black, disowned from the family for marrying Septimus Weasley, a known blood traitor.

Regulus knew each story well. He and Sirius had spent many hours in front of that tapestry as their mother gave detailed lessons on each member of the family and the crimes they had committed to get themselves burned away. Some blood traitors, some merely born without magic. He could almost hear Walburga's voice in his ears as she belittled Cedrella for her choices.

He did not look at the blackened mar that laid next to his own name. He would not give the Dark Lord the satisfaction of bringing his brother to mind. "Sir?" he questioned when the man seemed so lost in his own thoughts that he'd forgotten Regulus even stood there.

"Yes," he turned towards the boy and clasped his hands behind his back. "I have an assignment for you. Fairly simple..." One quick glance towards the tapestry, but it was enough that Regulus flinched. "There is a little apothecary in Lancashire; we've done quite a bit of business with them, but the owner has been...less than cooperative as of late. Spoiled supplies, back orders, claims of shipping problems; I don't like this."

Regulus quirked a brow. "My Lord?" To say he was confused would be an understatement.

"I want you to go have a little _chat_ with Mister Turpin. Make sure that he understands his behavior is not being overlooked or unnoticed and that it will _not_ be tolerated any further."

"You want me to intimidate some shop-keep? But I -" He tried to bite his tongue but it was too late.

"You were expecting something else, perhaps?" The Dark Lord's lips twisted into a semblance of a smile and he turned his gaze from Regulus. "Have patience, yes? Let us see if you're capable of such a simple task before sending you on a bigger mission."

Clearly the man had mistaken Regulus' confusion for disappointment and there was no way the boy was going to correct him. "Of course, my Lord. I won't fail you."

Voldemort's face reflected deep consideration. His fingers rested at his chest, caressing something solid through the fabric of his robes. "The two of you leave first thing in the morning."

"Two?"

* * *

There was something different about Will. In all the time Regulus had known him, Will Mulciber had been a cruel, thoughtless person, but his eyes were always alight with laughter and joy. But as Regulus stared up at his old friend, he couldn't find that same trace of happiness in his gaze. Yes, Will was smiling that same old smug smile he always had, but it just didn't look real anymore.

Regulus licked his lips and approached his new partner. "It's about time you stepped up your game," the boy teased as he stepped past the older and boarded the train.

"Watch yourself, Black," Will threatened, but laughter teetered on his every word. He gave the other boy a little shove towards the back and filed into the seats behind him. "I hate this thing. I feel like I'm inhaling Muggle," he sneered, glancing around him at the other passengers.

"Two-hundred miles it too far to Appa-"

"I know that," Will snapped, casting a sharp glare at Regulus before softening back into a smile. "I'm just saying..." He snatched a pamphlet from the back of the seat in front of him and flipped through it as though he actually gave two flips about safety procedures. "I'll be glad when we get there and get this done. Such a lame assignment; shake down some decrepit old apothecary."

"We're meant to be _reasoning_ with him," Regulus sighed, casting his eyes out of the window. "Did you expect you'd be off hunting down blood traitors on your first day?"

"Something like that," Will muttered before falling silent.

Regulus' shifted uneasily in his seat. "If it matter at all...I don't think this little assignment is as easy or little as He makes it out to be." At Will's questioning gaze, he continued. "It just seems a bit odd is all. I mean, Rodolphus is the one who does business with this bloke and as far as _scaring_ someone into cooperating, wouldn't you send my cousin?"

"So you think this is some kind of...?"

"Test," he answered simply before tipping his head back on the seat. "Wake me when we get there."

"Hey, wait. What kind of test do you think this is? What are we gonna be doing?"

Regulus shrugged and closed his eyes, letting sleep find him at once. In his dreams he was running along side the train, his hands out towards an open window, screaming for someone to help him on. It wasn't the most pleasant dream, but it was far better than some he'd suffered. Will's hands on his upper arm pulled him from his mild sleep as they pulled into the station.

The walk to the apothecary was quick. The building was magically concealed by a few Muggle-tricking charms in the midst of a run down part of town. To outsiders the place would look like a condemned shop while to magical folk, it looked like a slight-notch-above-condemned potions supply shop.

A tingling of a bell announced Regulus and Will's entrance into the building. There was no one in sight, but a slightly shaky voice called out from the back room. "Be right with you!"

The two Death Eaters exchanged questioning glances and went about circling the store front, making sure that there were no lurkers amongst the shelves or tucked behind the front desk. With wands at the ready, they approached the back room.

"I have customers," the same shaky voice was insisting.

"They can wait." Regulus didn't recognize the second voice and a shared look of confusion on Will's features made it clear that neither did he.

"I swear you Order blokes are just as bad as _His_ followers. Coming in here, harassing me for information." The shop-keep wasn't too pleased, his tone growing more annoyed by the second.

The second man chuckled and sighed like the other had told a fantastic joke. "The difference, Mister Turpin, is that _His_ followers will kill you one day. And that's not a maybe; you keep doing business with them and you will end up on the wrong side of a wand."

There was a long silence and some shuffling. Will made to move towards the doorway once more, but Regulus caught his arm, wanting to hear more. He pressed his finger to his lips and met the other's eyes, then put his hand towards the floor in a clear sign for _wait_.

"And as for us," the Order member continued. "We'll just arrest you."

"That's mighty comforting," the shop-keep snapped.

"Come now Ed!" came a third voice. "Can we just take this bloke in already? He's already admitted to dealing with those Death Eaters, let's just be done with this."

Regulus' blood ran cold. He shoved his fist in his mouth and bit down hard to keep from making any sound. Grey eyes flew to Will and he took a step back into the main of the shop. The young man followed Regulus and grasped onto his shoulders, staring down into his worried face.

The both knew it. The third voice in the back of the shop had been Sirius'.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thank you again for reading. The next chapter is going to pick up exactly where this one left off. Let me know what you think so far and any predictions you might have for Regulus now that he's understanding Voldemort's "assignment". –Jenna**


	64. Shadow of a Lost Friend

**Chapter 64: Shadow of a Lost Friend**

**.**

Regulus felt a bit dizzy. He only vaguely recalled Will thrusting his mask into his hand and giving him a little shake. He glanced down at the obstructive headpiece and frowned. He never liked wearing that infernal mask, it tunneled his vision and made his breathing shallow. But nevertheless he slid it on and adjusted it properly.

Will took the lead, three steps towards the backroom was as far as they got before they were spotted. The shop-keep, a portly man with wild tufts of hair at the sides of his face, but none on his head, was the first through the backroom opening. The man swore loudly at the sight of Regulus and Will.

His cries roused the others and soon Sirius and another young man bounded through the opening, wands held high. Sirius looked ragged, Regulus noticed. His hair even messier than usual and his eyes a little worn out. The boy flicked his wand off behind him and muttered something that Regulus couldn't understand.

A silvery mist poured from the end of Sirius' wand and formed into a large dog. Regulus nearly choked on the sight of the excruciatingly-familiar animal. His mouth floundered behind his mask, but he forced himself to focus on the impending battle, not the sight of a silvery Polaris bounding out of the shop.

The other Order member stood dutifully by Sirius' side; Regulus barely recognized him from pictures passed around Death Eater meetings. After each fight, it was required to report back on the dueling style of any Order member you could recall.

_Edgar Bones: Weaker on his left side, relies heavily on defensive spells, was wounded almost a month ago from a burning hex cast by Travers._

Regulus wondered if Will knew this information because he had no way to pass it along it now. It didn't matter though, because Sirius gazed upon the two shrouded opponents and grinned. "You take shorty, mate, I'll handle the ape."

Will snorted beneath his mask and sent a flash of red towards Sirius, instantly sending the place into battle. Regulus lost sight of his brother's fight when Edgar advanced on him with a shower of weak, but potentially damaging, curses. He dropped to the ground and rolled behind the nearest shelf, reaching around it to send hexes at Edgar.

He knew that he could do more, send better spells out, if he could speak. Nonverbal spells were never his strong point, but he didn't dare risk his voice being recognized. Edgar rebounded each attack with powerful shields and followed Regulus. Back and forth the spells flew. Attack and defend. Pursue and retreat. Sweat broke on the back of the boy's neck and he mentally cursed the mask once more.

_Weaker on his left side._ He repeated the information in his mind and grimaced. While that may have been true, Regulus knew he was also weaker on his own right side. A strangled cry came from the other side of the shop and for a moment, Regulus went numb. He could hear breaking glass and the shop-keep stuttering and cursing at the mess being made of his supplies.

Regulus ducked behind another shelf and charged towards the other battle. Will was advancing heavily upon his brother, a non-stop shower of red raining down upon his weakening shield charm. He almost didn't catch sight of the shop-keep due to the hindrance around his eyes, but at the last moment he spotted the man's wand.

The shop-keep was aiming for Will and Sirius, moving his wand back and forth as though he couldn't decide which one to curse; which side to choose. Regulus had no patience for the man's indecision and knocked him out cold with a simple flick of his wand. He couldn't risk him making the wrong choice. A shuffling behind him called Regulus back to his own fight.

The boy winced in pain when a shard of light cut across his left shoulder, making his entire wand arm go limp and tingle with pain. He growled angrily and abandoned the idea of magic for a moment, choosing to charge straight for Edgar and knock him across the jaw with his fist. Clearly it had been the last thing the young man expected because his eyes widened and he crumpled to the ground under the force of the physical attack.

"Regulus?" Sirius' voice was pointed and angry. "I swear to god if that's you I'm go-" His threat was silenced by Will finally breaking his shield charm. His distraction had been Sirius' downfall and the young man caved under a blast of magic. A fading groan was the last sound that escaped him.

"Fuck," Will swore, turning his back on the limp Phoenix. His eyes bore into Regulus'. "How did he know?"

"I hit him," Regulus muttered, throwing his hand towards Edgar in indication. He turned back towards his fallen opponent who was regaining himself and climbing to his feet. Both Death Eaters raised their wands, but it was in vain.

A collection of panicked voices spilled from the back room, followed by near fifteen men and women rushing into the shop with wands drawn. "There's only two!" shouted one man while a woman echoed him to the others who weren't at the front to see. "Black said they were under attack," came an angry jeer, followed by, "Useless child."

Will grabbed onto Regulus' upper arm, sending a new wave of pain through his damaged side, and pulled him against the back wall. The two Disapparated without another thought.

The men's room at the train station wasn't the most tasteful place to pop up in, but they needed somewhere safe; a place that was crowded enough to get lost in, but didn't carry a risk of being seen. The two ripped away their masks they moment they Apparated into their previously chosen cubicles.

Regulus hissed in pain at the gash on his shoulder, the traveling having only made it worse and opened the wound further. He could hear Will muttering under his breath as they emerged into the main of the bathroom and removed the _Out Of Order_ signs they'd hung on the cubicle doors to ensure they didn't Apparate onto anyone in a compromising position.

"How bad is it?" Will demanded, stripping off his heavy robes and leaving himself in a mere dress shirt and trousers. He grabbed Regulus' arm and jerked the boy over to a sink, forcing him to bend over it. "Shit that's deep," he groaned, letting out a slight gagging sound.

"Hurts like hell, but I'll be okay," Regulus answered.

"No, you won't. You're losing more blood than you think," Will argued, pulling the younger boy's robes free to get at the wound. The sound of ripping fabric filled the bathroom as Will severed off sections of the bottom of his robes. He wrapped them tightly around Regulus' shoulder and went about the customary Healing spells that every Death Eater was taught in case of emergencies. "I'm rubbish at these, it's not doing much good."

Regulus wanted to say something comforting, but he was starting to feel light headed. He let out a giddy laugh and looked back to Will with a dazed expression in his eyes. "It's...um, it's okay," he whispered. "I'll be okay, just need...just..."

Will pressed his hand to Regulus' forehead and shook his head. "Don't you fucking pass out on me, I'm not carrying you anywhere," he teased, though a tinge of worry did lace his words. "Regulus..." He grabbed the boy's chin and forced him to meet his eyes. "Stay with me, mate."

Regulus nodded, willing himself to stand up straight and fight off the weariness.

* * *

Voldemort's eyes were dark and heavy, his anger hidden behind a mask of false indifference. He gazed across a heavy wooden table at Regulus and Will, his long, thin fingers stroking an object around his neck. Before, the locket had been hidden away under his robes, but now Regulus could clearly see the silver piece of antique jewelry that the Dark Lord caressed so tenderly.

"And why...did you not fight your own brother, Regulus?" the man questioned, hissing the final letter on Regulus' name.

Regulus shifted in his seat. "Sirius made the call, my Lord. He instructed the other – Edgar Bones – to fight me while he took on Will."

The Dark Lord nodded gravely. "Since when did we allow those lousy Phoenix to make the calls in our battles?" He met Regulus' eyes across the table, and tipped his head. "Still so young. Perhaps I was mislead about your worth. I had -" he paused to take a stoic look around the room "- seen potential in you."

"My Lord, we were merely caught off guard. Surprised even. The same mistake will _not_ occur. Next time I will be -"

"There will be no _next time_. Not for a while." The man tipped his head up regally and waved his hand towards the two in dismissal. "You're both off assignment for the remainder of the summer. Mulciber, you will train further under Rodolphus, I was mistaken in thinking that you were ready. Regulus, perhaps a bit more schooling is what you need." A soft, condescending laugh broke from him. "Or perhaps it is simply more courage that you need." His eyes dared the young boy to defy and of course Regulus did not. "Your time will come."

Regulus and Will rose from the table and gave a small bow before hurrying from the room. Will seized hold of the other's arm and dragged him off course, shoving him inside the first door they came to that was unlocked. Instantly the two were bathed in darkness. Regulus patted for his wand, but Will lit the room before he could retrieve it.

"Why...?"

Will shook his head and remained silent for a moment, pacing across the polished hardwood with a distressed look on his face. Twice he made to speak but fell short. It wasn't until Regulus reached for the door that he finally answered. "I messed up."

"Yeah, we both did," Regulus muttered, touching the bandage on his left shoulder carefully.

"Huh?" Will narrowed his eyes in confusion and held up his hand. "I'm not talking about the fight. I meant...well I meant something...else." When Regulus stared back without a word, Will sighed heavily and resumed his pacing. "Look, sometimes a person doesn't really know what they're doing but they can stand around and act like they know what they're doing and everyone around them just assumes that they know what..."

"They're doing?" Regulus finished. "You know what you're doing, Will. You're a strong fighter and you're skilled. He's angry that we failed, when He said that you -"

"I said I wasn't talking about the stupid fight!" The blonde threw up his hands in exasperation, nearly losing his grip on the only light in the room. "You just – you just don't get it! Do you? You never got it. You're just...a stupid child!"

"Excuse me?" Regulus' hand was on his wand without even realizing it.

"What; are you gonna fight me?" Will shook his head and pushed past the dark-haired boy, his arm knocking roughly into Regulus' wounded shoulder. "Just fucking forget it," he hissed before slamming the door and engulfing the other boy in darkness once more.

Regulus let out a sharp breath and lit the tip of his wand long enough to find the door, then started back into the hallway. He stood at the threshold for a bit, letting Will put distance between them before he followed. Part of him wanted to chase down his old friend and curse him into the next week for what he'd said, but another part was just angry that there was something he clearly didn't _get_.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thank you for reading. :) –Jenna**


	65. A Truth No Longer Denied

**Chapter 65: A Truth No Longer Denied**

**.**

The last thing Regulus wanted to do with his afternoon was take some package over to Will Mulciber's home. He was still angry, as childish and petty as it might sound, he was still very angry. His friend had called him a child, threw some unknown issue into his face and blamed him for not understanding. But orders were orders and the boy didn't dare argue. He was already on thin ice with the Dark Lord.

A soft, happy chime announced his presence, bringing a smirk to the boy's features. The bell was so un-Will-like that he had to do a double take at the address to ensure he had the right home. His smile froze in place on his face as the door swung open revealing a very angry woman glaring at him.

Regulus had only been around Will's wife, Nadya on a rare occasion and the woman's appearance took him by surprise. If anything, Nadya had always at least _attempted_ to look presentable, but there she stood, limp brown hair tossed up on her head in a half formed chignon, frayed strands falling away from the knot and framing her rouge-less face. She looked weaker even, her typically thin frame seemed to be no more than bone and skin. Her dark eyes flashed with a hate that made Regulus recoil.

"Is Will home?" Regulus meekly held up the tiny brown package that he'd been dispatched with. "The Dark Lord sent me to de-"

The boy's words were cut off with a string of Russian that he was a bit glad he couldn't understand. Nadya spoke with such an angry tone, her hands flying towards him sharply, he highly doubted she was merely saying _he's in the study_. She turned from the doorway and stormed down the hall, still raging in her mother tongue, her voice growing louder with each step.

Regulus hesitated before stepping into the house and closing the door behind him. "So does this mean he's here?" he attempted, a nervous and confused laugh dropping from his lips. He chewed his bottom lip and continued off down the entry hallway, following the trail that Nadya had made. The sound of breaking glass and more irate Russian left him stunned on the threshold of the sitting room.

Will's form burst into the sitting room from another doorway, face full of rage, hair a mess, his eyes continuously looking back towards the door he'd emerged from. "Mental bitch," he hissed under his breath, dusting his hands down the front of his shirt to straighten it out. He huffed loudly and looked up, flinching at the sight of Regulus. "Shit, when did you get here?"

Regulus floundered a moment, then pointed from himself to the front door, then to the package and to Will. "I um...I brought... What the hell?" He shook his head to clear out the scattered feeling.

"What? Her?" Will thumbed off behind him and put on a no-big-deal face. "She's always on about something. I don't know what she's screaming about and I don't rightly care." He bounded across the room, snatched the package from Regulus and shoved the boy towards another room. "Come on, let's have a drink."

"It's three o'clock."

"I'm sorry, did you not meet my wife?" Will flashed a smile that reminded Regulus of their school days and led him into a small office. "It's been like this since her dad ran off," the young man mused as he poured two glasses of some amber drink that Regulus didn't recognize. "_Invest with me_, he said. _This __years' models are going to take the top awards_, he said. But he really meant -" he slammed the bottle back onto the desk "- _I'm going to take your investment and skip the fucking country when they fail_!" His shaky hands dragged back through his blonde strands and tugged roughly at them.

"I...don't understand," Regulus voiced softly, taking the offered glass with no objections.

"The only reason I married that – that – that _woman_ was so I could get a foothold in Universal Brooms. Her father swore to me that their latest model would bring the company back."

"Would that be the same model that almost killed me in our practice?"

Will's eyes narrowed and he poured himself a second glass. "Don't be so damn dramatic." He tossed back the drink as quickly as he had the first and dragged the side of his hand across his lips. "Yes, that one. And when they couldn't fix it, they caved. The company folded two weeks ago and her _father_ up and fucking vanished."

"You sure he didn't..." Regulus dragged his finger across his neck and clicked his tongue.

"I wish." The young man folded his arms and leaned against a roll-top desk. "But no, when people plan on ending it, they don't clear out your bank account first."

Regulus choked on his drink. "He did what?"

"You heard me."

Regulus sipped his drink and let silence stretch between them. Will continued to drink heavily while the younger boy sipped at his without interest. Once the deadness of the room became almost too much to bear, he finally spoke up again. "Well without the company, you can get rid of her."

"No. No no. Her father wouldn't just take off and leave his precious little daughter here to waste away. He'll send for her and when he does..." His hands curled into tight fists. "Besides, she's good for keeping up appearances." Regulus didn't press the matter and Will went on. "So many mistakes. So many...wrong choices. You know -" he pointed at Regulus and put on a grin "- for a while, I really thought that me and you coulda had it all."

The dark-haired boy deadpanned and stared up at Will with eyebrow raised.

"Don't give me that dumb puppy dog routine." He scoffed, brown eyes narrowing. "No, but you always had that _personal space_ issue and there was no way I was going to deal with that! But then...then that little Mudblood fixed you right up; got rid of that little _problem_." The blonde placed his hands on the arms of Regulus' chair and leaned over him. "Didn't he?"

"Will, I -"

"Don't you dare try to lie to me." Will closed his eyes and leaned a bit closer, the heavy scent of scotch engulfing Regulus' senses. He opened his eyes back and stared hard into the boy's gray gaze. "And now you've got yourself some pretty little Ministry boy." He plucked the half finished glass from Regulus' hand and tossed back the remainder as he stood up straight and turned away from him.

Regulus wanted to scream that he had no idea what Will was on about, but for the first time, he finally understood. He watched Will's back as he leaned against the desk and shook his head. "I..." He dropped his head and relaxed back into the chair. "I didn't know how you felt."

Will let out a sarcastic laugh. "Don't go twisting this into more than it is," he sneered, turning back to Regulus. "I'm not in love with you. I don't have some farfetched dream about riding off into the sunset or picking out curtains." He rolled his eyes and stared at the ceiling. "I thought that you were going to be somebody. That you were going to make a difference in this world." He bit his bottom lip and glanced back to the younger boy. "I was so wrong."

"I need to go," Regulus insisted, rising from his seat and heading for the door. He'd barely touched the knob when Will was upon him. His back pressed hard against the door, the blonde's fingers digging roughly into his chin, forcing him to look up into a hateful stare.

"I really thought that you were going to matter one day!" the young man hissed so close that his words heated Regulus' lips. "But when I saw you in the store, saw the way you came running when your brother screamed, it disgusted me." His fingers tightened on Regulus' chin and his other hand came down, pinning the boy's wand hand to the door. "You looked so weak, standing there bleeding to death in that filthy Muggle bathroom; I had half a mind to stand there and let you die."

"Then why didn't you?" Regulus countered, his muscles tensing all over his body. He wasn't going to back down, he wasn't going to give Will the satisfaction of breaking him. True, the older boy was stronger, but Regulus had been through so much worse.

"Because then I wouldn't get to see the look on your face when you realized what I've realized."

"And what's that?"

"That you're nothing," Will whispered, his lips brushing against the other boy's cheek. "You've always been nothing and you'll always be nothing." A dry laugh broke free and he lowered his hand to pat Regulus' chest. "This is a war and you're going to go down in history as an inconsequential speck."

"You're drunk," Regulus stated firmly, meeting Will's eyes for a moment of sheer defiance.

"Doesn't make me any less right." Will laughed a bit more and looked over Regulus like one would assess a cow off to slaughter. He sighed heavily and took a step back, plucking at the hem of Regulus' shirt. "I see you so clearly now." He touched the boy's cheek tenderly and gave him a pitiful look. "You're not even that pretty."

"You're pathetic," Regulus snapped, pulling himself from the door and straightening his clothes out. "Not only that, but you're _jealous_. And I don't mean that you're jealous of Anthony or Barty, I mean that you are jealous of me."

"I think you've got that the wrong way 'round."

"Ha! You think I'm jealous of you?" Regulus burst into laughter, cold and condescending. "Look around you Mister Mulciber and what do you see? A shitty house, a psychotic wife, an empty bank account. You've lost favor with Dark Lord, not that you really even had it to begin with." He crossed to the desk and snatched the empty glass from it. "And you're drinking yourself into a sad stupor, pining away for your school day crush that you'll _never_ have."

"Get out," Will hissed.

"Hit a nerve did I?" Regulus taunted. "Just admit it. You're jealous because I'm young and powerful and have my entire life ahead of me. While _you_...you're nineteen and your life is _over_!"

"I said get out!"

"Gladly," Regulus muttered before pushing out of the tiny office and charging from the house. The moment he broke sunlight, the boy took a gasping breath, trying to clear his body of the tainted feeling inside him from the drink and Will's closeness.

"He's right you know," came that foreign voice deep inside Regulus' mind that he was growing far too familiar with. "You keep going the way you are and you're going to die as a nothing in this war."

"Maybe that's how I want it!" he shouted to no one at all. "Maybe I don't need to be remembered; I don't need to do anything that matters in this bloody _war_."

"I know you," it whispered. "You _need_ to matter."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: I think some -or most- of you had already figured out Will's problem by this point. But if not, there it is! Thank you for reading. :) –Jenna**


	66. Save Me, Father

**Chapter 66: Save Me, Father**

**.**

Sweat trickled down the back of Regulus' neck and pooled on the hairline of his forehead. He hated August: the heat, the overcrowding of Diagon Alley with kids rushing around for school supplies, knowing it was the last few weeks of freedom before diving back into strict schedules and long lectures. Two giggling impending first years knocked into Regulus in their desperate attempt to get into Slug and Jiggers', bringing a heavy frown to the boy's face.

He needed to be free of the crowd, the noise from stall peddlers and scolding parents all trying to be heard over each other. Regulus ducked into the first alley way he could find, beside some junk shop he'd never given two thoughts to. Cut off from the hustle and bustle of shoppers, he could finally breathe easy and clear his head. That is when he spotted her: Sarah Bulstrode.

Sarah looked radiant. Her long blonde hair was flowing and shimmering, moving across her back as she tossed her head side to side with laughter. Her eyes were so full of life and joy, her smile wide and excited as she gazed up at a quick-talking Geoffrey. The blonde young Davies had his arm wrapped around Sarah's shoulder, staring down into her eyes and lavishing her with tender touches to her cheeks and hair.

Regulus thought he was going to faint. He couldn't take his eyes off the happy couple because between their overdone displays of affection was something he couldn't bear the thought of. Sarah was _very_ pregnant. It only took a fraction of a second to do the math. The girl's stomach was so far out there was no way she was less than seven months along, maybe further. Tiny pieces of understanding rained down over the boy as he clutched the alley wall and closed his eyes.

Sarah leaving school, Della's consistent pestering that she needed to talk to him, his brother's insistence that he would want to know where Sarah had vanished to...it was all coming together and he felt sick. He doubled over and clutched at his stomach, willing himself to hold back his lunch and stop his head from spinning.

"No," Regulus whispered, placing his hands on the wall and staring at the ground. "No, it doesn't matter. She was...she was unfaithful. I _caught_ her being unfaithful with that – that..." His eyes moved to the oh-so-happy couple, his lips pulling back in disgust at the sight of the Muggle-born Geoffrey touching Sarah's stomach. "It's not mine."

The boy's fingertips pressed hard into the wall of the building, his nails catching bits of worn paint beneath them. He couldn't stop staring at Sarah; couldn't stop wondering if there was even a chance... "No," he repeated to himself.

Despite Regulus' attempts at convincing himself, he followed Sarah and Geoffrey. He trailed off behind them as they ambled through Diagon Alley, purchased a few books, chatted with another couple outside of Eyelops and headed into the robes shop. Then he saw his chance. Geoffrey excused himself with the tailor and stepped into the back of the shop, leaving Sarah alone at a rack of silken scarves. Regulus grasped the girl's arm and pulled her far into the shop, hidden behind a display.

"Is it mine," he demanded instantly, ignoring the girl's hateful stare.

Sarah shoved Regulus away from her and rubbed lightly over her arm where the boy had been holding her. "No," she answered matter-of-factually. "It's Geoffrey's. Now go away."

"I don't believe you," Regulus countered to his own surprise. That had been exactly what he wanted to hear but nothing in Sarah's tone or posture made it believable. "Tell me. Just fucking tell me," he went on, voice raising with every word.

"What do you want me to tell you, Regulus?" Sarah pushed her hair back from her eyes and stared off past the boy's shoulder. "Geoffrey and I are getting married. We're going to raise this child together and he is going to love it like it was his own and _that_ is all that matters!"

"_Like_ it was his own," Regulus repeated.

"Yes." The girl grabbed Regulus' left arm roughly. She stepped towards him but he didn't cower away, so her face was right in his as she spoke. "You think I want my child being raised with this?" She jerked the boy's sleeve down with her other hand and shoved his own Dark Mark into his face. "You think I want my child to know that his or her father was a disgusting monster?" she hissed.

Regulus pulled his arm away from Sarah's hold and narrowed his eyes. "It isn't your choice."

"Like hell it isn't."

"It _isn't_!" Regulus grasped at the edges of his robes, trying to contain his anger. "That child is -"

"Mine." Sarah's eyes were unyielding. "Why do you even care? I'm disgraced, tossed out, my own family won't speak to me because of Geoffrey and you sure as hell don't want to marry me. No -" a small condescending laugh escaped her angry lips "- I'm not your _type_, now am I?"

He looked away.

"As I said...why do you care?" She slapped her hand across the boy's shoulder, demanding he look back to her. "You don't want children. You don't want _this_ child. You don't want me. Blood isn't everything."

"Blood is important," he argued. Even he could tell there was no passion behind his words.

Sarah looked down at her protruding stomach and ran her fingers over it lovingly. "Life is important. Happiness and love are important." She let out a shaky breath and took a step back from Regulus. "Just stay away from us. Let us have a real life. Don't make this child grow up the way you did; end up...the way you did."

Regulus turned his eyes to the girl and watched in silence as she backed away and disappeared into the store. He dragged a shaking hand through his hair and let Sarah's words replay over and over in his mind. _ Don't make this child grow up the way you did_... He frowned. He wanted to scream that there was nothing wrong with how he was raised but images of his screeching mother beating down his brother's door flashed across his mind.

Would that be his own child's fate? Doomed to face the punishments Regulus had seen Sirius go through time and time again over things as simple as having a Muggle poster on his wall. Times were changing; wizards, even Purebloods, were being drawn to Muggle art, literature and technology. Many times Regulus, himself, had to fight against being taken in by the wonder that was Muggle music. Could he really bring a child into his home knowing what temptations lay beyond its walls and what punishments lay within?

Unless the child behaved as Regulus did: quiet, obedient, proper. He'd never felt the sting of punishment from either of his parents until the incident with Sarah had come along. And if his child did learn the proper ways, how to be obedient and structured, then the same life would await him. Regulus shook his head and slipped out of the robes shop unnoticed. Of one thing, he was sure, he did not want his child ending up the way he did: hands forever stained with the blood of the innocent.

"No," he whispered as he pushed through a herd of giggling future third years. "It isn't mine."

* * *

Orion sat in his black leather wing-back chair, legs crossed, glass of brandy in one hand, the other resting upon his knee. His grey eyes stared off towards the wall, no clear interest of anything reflecting in them. The man didn't even flinch in acknowledgment when Regulus walked into the room and took a seat on the sofa across from him. The boy settled into place and stared over at his father with intrigue.

"Something on your mind?" Orion asked coolly, his gaze flickering towards his son.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Regulus answered.

Orion pursed his lips and shifted in his chair, turning more attention onto the boy. "I was thinking about -" he lifted his glass to his lips in a thoughtful pause "- immortality," he finished, taking a long sip of his brandy.

Regulus' breath hitched in his throat. "Wh...why?" He leaned towards his father, hands clasped before him. "There's no such thing, not _really_, not eternally."

"Are you sure about that?" Orion's tone was taunting.

"Yes." The boy held his case defiantly. "Nothing can be...no one can be truly immortal. It defies the laws of nature, all sense would unravel. It's just _not_ possible."

"Plausible," the man corrected, receiving a confused look from his son. "_Possible_ indicates something's ability to happen. While plausible is more of our perception of something being able to happen. To be immortal is _implausible_, but not impossible, Regulus."

"So that's what you do? You sit there and think up ways to keep from dying?" The boy turned away from his father in near disgust at the thought. "We're born, we live, we die. Being immortal would be an abomination to the very idea of existence."

Orion tilted his head and stared down his nose at his son. "Such big ideals for such a young boy."

"So because I'm seventeen I can't have opinions of my own?" Regulus turned on the man. "Or because I'm a Death Eater...a Slytherin, a _Black_, I can't have thoughts of my own?"

"Calm yourself."

"No." Regulus got to his feet and stood over his father. "I've been told my entire life that my thoughts aren't my own. First from you and mother and your _teachings_, then Sirius constantly telling me that any and everything I say was just a mindless repetition of what our mother says a-"

"Isn't it?"

"No! It isn't! As unfathomable as it may seem to you and him and mother and Barty and -"

"Barty?"

"- Bella and Will and everyone else, I _can_ think for myself." Regulus grabbed his hair and turned his back on Orion, letting out a string of swears under his breath. "I can't believe I was going to ask you for help," he muttered.

Orion reached out and grabbed his son's wrist, preventing the attempted quick escape. "Regulus what's wrong?" the man demanded, his tone rigid with fear.

The boy looked down at his stone-faced father and pulled his hand away. He wanted to hiss at the man and storm off, even throw in a door slam for good measure. His breathing was ragged and his heart raced. His eyes fell onto the man's glass and he wanted to lash out; take the drink and fling it against the wall like some over dramatic woman. More than anything he wanted to behave like the child that so many still saw him as.

But he did not. Regulus fell to his knees before his father and stared up at the man, his eyes begging for guidance. "I want to know..." He looked away, unable to hold the man's gaze. "Is it hard to be a father?"

"It is hard to fail as a father," Orion answered, settling back into his seat. The man resumed his transfixed stare on the wall across from him and patted Regulus' shoulder once. "Watching your child sink into a way of life that you fear there is no escape from; a life that will claim him and damage him. To watch your child slip further and further away and know there is nothing you can do to save him."

"Sirius isn't gone for good. He still...has time. He could come back, he could change his mind."

Orion looked into his son's eyes and tightened his lips until they paled. Regulus stared back, unblinking, trying to read his father's stare. He swallowed hard and bit his bottom lip so hard that the coppery taste of blood laced over his tongue.

"I was talking about you," Orion whispered.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thank you for reading. Now everyone knows where Sarah has been, even though a lot of you already guessed it. :) –Jenna**


	67. Innocent Ones

**Chapter 67: Innocent Ones**

**.**

The owl arrived on August 24th, just as Regulus was getting ready to retire for the night. A steady tap, tap, tap at his window caught his attention and he allowed the creature to enter his room, something he had never permitted of an owl before. As the bird sat picking at his feathers, Regulus turned over an envelope in his hands. The seal was from St. Mungos, just as he'd expected.

Having connections wasn't something that Regulus put much store by in his younger days, but as he grew up and watched so many under the table deals transpire around him, he put aside such prideful beliefs. The boy didn't have many connections of his own, but it just so happened one of the few he did have worked for St. Mungos at the intake desk. As he stared down at the envelope, he was thankful that he'd spent so much time pretending to care about his old Housemate, Thomas' rock collection and mundane family life.

The letter inside only bore two words, as they'd agreed upon. _It's time._ Getting caught passing any more vital information wouldn't serve either of them any good. Thomas would lose his job and even worse, Regulus would have to explain himself.

The boy set fire to the letter and changed back into his traveling robe. After shooing the owl back out into the night, he crept down the stairs and silently slipped out of the house. Even so late, it was hot; the summer heat seeped into his lungs and made his heart beat faster. Surely it was just the heat. Regulus wasn't nervous about anything...

He quickly Apparated to the nearest safe spot outside of the visitors' entrance to the hospital and headed inside. Thomas greeted him the moment he stepped through the barrier. The older boy looked frazzled and nervous, his brown hair sticking up at odd angles like he'd been putting his hands into it.

"Relax," Regulus whispered, pulling his heavy robes back off his shoulders and draping them over his arm. "You're not going to get into trouble. I'll be here...five minutes. If even that long. And I won't give you up if someone sees me." It was the truth, he wouldn't do such a thing. He'd merely follow the person and wipe the memory of having ever seen him.

Thomas nodded and started down the hallway, leading Regulus back to the doors labeled _Maternity_ _Ward_. "You're sure that you aren't going to do anything?" he asked, his hands twisting in his shirt hem.

"I'm not going to do anything," Regulus answered like a well rehearsed play. Granted, he'd given Thomas the same assurance at least ten times by this point. "I just want to see the baby. I don't even wanna hold it. I just w-"

"Him."

"What?" Regulus looked up with wide eyes and glanced from Thomas to the ward door. "Did you say him?" When the older boy nodded Regulus let out a sharp breath. "Him then." He brushed his fingers through his hair and looked in through the tiny window to assure the hallway was clear. "I'll be gone before you know it," he told Thomas before pushing into the ward and leaving the boy behind.

The nursery was a small room with a window in the hallway to see inside. There were several baby beds set up, but only three contained infants in them. For a moment, Regulus wondered how he would know, but when he looked closer, he saw that one of the babies was wrapped in pink. He could never say how he knew which of the other two blue swaddled infants was the right one, but his eyes instantly fell over the one in the middle.

He looked both ways down the hall, ensuring his solitude, and sneaked into the nursery. The door was unlocked, just as Thomas had agreed to in their deal. The boy had proved himself more than useful, sending word of Sarah's arrival at the hospital to deliver and helping to make sure Regulus could sneak in afterward to see the child. And all for a lousy one-hundred Galleons. Regulus would have paid more. Thomas would have probably taken less. But neither cared for haggling the price.

Regulus stood over the infant and pushed the tiny blue, knit hat back from his head. The child had the smallest tuft of black hair, wispy and soft. A grin tugged at the boy's lips as he wondered how the very blonde Sarah and the equally blonde Geoffrey were going to explain that one away. He pulled the hat back down into place and stared down at the child in silence.

The baby boy didn't move much, tiny muscle twitches here and there, but Regulus assumed that was normal. After all, how much could a newborn really move? The child's tiny fingers opened and closed in his sleep, mimicking grasping onto something and Regulus placed his finger in the child's palm without even thinking about it. When the baby's fragile fingers closed around his, he smiled. Such warmth coming from such a tiny thing.

He wanted to hold the child. And realizing that he wanted to hold him made Regulus back away. He shook his head and tore his gaze away from the innocent infant that lay wrapped in blue, sleeping soundly without realizing that it would be the only time he'd ever feel his father's touch.

"It's better this way." Regulus cringed as that haunting voice broke into his mind. He clasped his hands over his ears but it didn't matter. Blocking out the world did no good against an opponent that lived inside his own thoughts. "Muggle-born or not, Davies will take care of him. You know that."

"Yes; I know," Regulus whispered, his fingers massaging roughly at his temples. He backed away from the baby beds and fumbled with his traveling robes, trying to pull them back on as he hurried down the hallway. He nearly plowed right over Thomas in his attempt at a quick exit.

The boy looked panicked. "What happened? Why are you running?"

"I'm not running; I'm just hurrying," Regulus argued, finally getting his robes to sit right. "And nothing's wrong. I just wanna leave. You can go check yourself, I told you I wasn't going to do anything wrong!" He threw a hateful glare at the older boy and stormed past him, rushing out of the hospital without another thought or word.

The boy didn't care where he was going. He pushed onto the streets of London and began walking briskly down the pavement. There weren't too many people out so late at night, but the few he did pass gave him a wide leeway, the angry look on his face not leading anyone to think of him as friendly. He didn't stop walking until his legs began to ache, the abused muscles screaming at him for some relief. Regulus didn't even know where he was; a quick glance around and he realized he'd wandered into a small housing district.

Just off to his right was a tiny park; nothing special, a slide, a couple of broken teeter-totters, a merry-go-round that tilted and a set of swings with the end one hanging by only one chain. He wasn't in the mood to be picky though, he just wanted a place to rest his legs a moment and clear his head before Apparating back home. He pushed the broken swing out of his way and slipped into the seat of the next. A near smile broke the boy's lips the moment he sat down on the swing. He couldn't remember how long it'd been since he had been in one.

But then, the memory of his last trip to a Muggle playground rushed to his mind, replaying itself so fresh he would have thought it happened that very morning, rather than twelve years prior.

"_Sirius! Help me I can't reach." Regulus sat in a swing, his little five-year-old legs kicking in vain. He was too far from the ground to be able to push himself._

_Sirius turned to his little brother and jumped out of his own swing, rushing over to stand behind the other boy. "You're too short," the boy teased, putting his hands on the other's back. "I won't always be around to help you. If you don't start getting taller soon, you'll never be able to do it alone."_

"_I'm trying," Regulus huffed, throwing his brother a sad look. "I hang from the door every day just like you said to. It's not working though!"_

"_Just keep at it. You'll be as tall as me in no time." Sirius gave a little nod and started pushing his brother on the swing, getting a little higher which each shove._

"_Not so high," Regulus begged, his little hands curling tightly around the chains._

_Another boy, tall with cruel eyes and sheered hair, came clomping up to Sirius and let out a laugh. "Easy, you're scaring the little baby," he taunted, thumbing over his shoulder at Regulus._

"_Hey!" Regulus cried out._

"_Don't call my brother a baby," Sirius shouted, turning on the intruder and promptly pushing him down into the dirt. "Now who's the baby?" he teased when the other child looked about ready to cry._

"_Yeah, now who's the baby?" Regulus mimicked, clambering out of his swing to stand at his brother's side. He looked up at the older boy with admiration in his tiny grey eyes._

"_Come on, Regulus, let's go home. Mum and dad'll prolly be home soon." Sirius kicked a bit of dirt at the boy on the ground and sneered at him. "You watch who you make fun of next time, Muggle." _

_Regulus echoed Sirius' insult and bounced along behind his brother as they ran back down the pavement towards their house. Sirius had been right about their parents' arrival, but he was too late. Orion and Walburga were just getting to the front door of Grimmauld Place when their two sons came rushing up to the home._

"_Where have you two been?" Walburga hissed, her eyes widening with anger._

"_We...we were just we – were at the...um..." Sirius looked between his parents and twisted his hands nervously in front of him. "We just went for a walk is all," he lied._

_Walburga turned up her nose and looked back to her husband, who merely slipped around her and walked into the house alone. She turned back to her children and curled her finger at Regulus, beckoning him over. The smaller child shuffled over to his mother and looked up her with tears threatening his eyes._

"_Regulus, where were you?" The woman asked in a soft tone. She snapped her fingers loudly when Regulus looked back towards his brother. "I asked you. Don't let him influence you, young man. You tell me the truth this instant."_

"_We..." The young boy bit his bottom lip and shifted in place. "We were on the swings," he whispered._

"_You went to the Muggle playground?" Walburga's face flushed red._

_Regulus heard his brother swear behind him and he nodded sadly. "We didn't play with any of them," he insisted. "Sirius...he – he pushed one in the dirt! He called me a baby and Sirius -"_

"_That's enough," Walburga interrupted. "Get inside and go to your room right now." She put her thin fingers on Regulus' shoulder and pushed him towards the door. "Sirius, you remember what I told you last time I caught you at that filthy Muggle park, don't you?"_

_Regulus looked back just long enough to see his brother nod in answer before his mother blocked his view. The young boy hurried up the stairs, two at a time, and threw himself onto his bed, cuddling up with his pillow and shaking. He didn't understand. Not then he didn't._

_Later that night, Regulus sneaked into his brother's room and crawled up into his bed, same as he did many nights when nightmares plagued him to the point he couldn't sleep. Sirius tossed a blanket over his younger brother as he always had._

"_I'm sorry that I didn't lie," Regulus whispered._

_Sirius stayed quiet for a long time before squeezing his brother's shoulder. "It's alright," he whispered back. "I shouldn't make you lie to mum. It isn't fair."_

"_Did she punish you?" the smaller boy whimpered._

"_No, she didn't," Sirius answered, but even at the age of five, Regulus knew that was a lie._

Regulus reached up and wiped away the tears that collected in the corners of his eyes. That had been the last time Sirius ever took him down to the Muggle playground.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thank you for reading. Not that it really matters, but the Thomas here is the same one from the first of the story with the rock collection and what not. He's not really important though. :P Anyways, thanks and don't forget to review. :) –Jenna**


	68. Pride & Paranoia

**Chapter 68: Pride & Paranoia**

**.**

Only three weeks into the school year and Regulus was already feeling sluggish and overwhelmed. Classes for his N.E.W.T. year were exceedingly more intense than he had expected, the homework was already piling up and he had barely slept the entire time. The lack of rest was taking its toll on the boy's appearance. His eyes wore deep purple bruises beneath them, his skin was more pale than should be healthy, his lips looked constantly cracked and his usual intense, sometimes haughty, stare had faded into nothing more than a distant, lost gaze.

Sleeping at night was something he had completely given up on; rather than lay in bed for hours, tossing and turning in vain, he chose instead to sit in the common room and write essays by firelight. Some days he would find himself drifting off into a nap while sitting on the leather couches or lounging on the grass, resulting in a few hours here and there through the weeks when his body could absolutely not take it any longer.

When he did find sleep, his mind was riddled with the same nightmares as always: brutal images of his past and threatening ones of his future. So common the sights had become that they no longer bore any real surprise for the boy. No matter how many times he saw the same things, they never failed to drive him to the point of shaking and on some occasions, crying out as he woke.

"Regulus?" came a soft whisper.

The boy didn't look away from his History of Magic essay, entranced by the shadows that danced across his parchment from the flickering fire beside him. "Over here," he whispered back.

Bartemius stepped out of the shadowy hallway and into the main of the common room. His bedclothes looked fresh and pressed, unmarred by his bed. The boy had clearly not seen his pillow that night either. "What are you working on?" He lowered himself into the floor behind Regulus and laid his hands upon the boy's shoulders, rubbing over them lightly, his touch tender and non-threatening.

"Um..." Regulus reached up and rubbed at his eyes, leaning his body back against Bartemius and relaxing against him. "I don't even know," he answered. His voice was broken and defeated.

The young blonde ran his fingers through Regulus' dark, limp hair and put his arms around the boy tightly. "When was the last time you got some rest?" He tried not to sound accusatory with his question, the last thing he wanted was to fight with the other boy.

"Wednesday? Or maybe it was Thursday."

"I see." He rocked Regulus gently and went on to ask, "What day is it now?"

Regulus tensed for a moment. "It's Friday." And after a long pause. "Right?"

"It's Sunday," Bartemius corrected.

"Oh shit, I have to finish that Astronomy essay then." Regulus sat up and began to panic as he dug through his bag. "It's due in the morning."

"No, Regulus." Bartemius grabbed for the boy's hands and pushed his bag away. He grabbed the dark-haired boy's face and forced him to make eye contact. "No, it's only Sunday now. It's nearly three in the morning," he insisted. He touched the boy's cheeks and frowned at how cold his skin was. "Are you hungry?" he asked, trying to change both subject and mood of the conversation. "I'm starving, why don't we go get something from the kitchen?"

"Not hungry," Regulus muttered, pushing the other boy's hands away from him. It was no secret that he had been losing weight, his face a bit sunken, his limb much more frail. A few professors had expressed concern for him, one even going so far as to send him to the Hospital Wing. The matron could do no more than send him on his way with a headache potion and tell him to be sure to eat and sleep more.

"Regulus," Bartemius began with great care. He took the other boy's hand between his own and tread carefully. "I'm really hungry and I don't want to go alone. Come with me?"

The young Black conceded to Bartemius' apparent weakness and joined him on the small trek to the kitchen. They slipped behind the tapestry without incident and requested blueberry muffins and tea from the eager house-elves. The blonde wasn't quite as hungry as he'd put on, leaving most of his muffin in a torn crumble on his plate. Regulus was more hungry than he'd put on, eating two of them with witless bites that he didn't seem to notice he was taking.

"You remind me of Macbeth," Bartemius said distantly. "Well...just one scene really." When he met Regulus' questioning eyes, he held out his hand and went on. "When the witches deemed that he couldn't sleep. That's you. _Sleep shall neither night nor day, hang upon his penthouse lid. He shall live a man forbid._"

"How many times have you read that?" Regulus questioned, raising an eyebrow at the boy.

"Not as many as you," he answered, not bothering to conceal the bitterness in his tone. "Just twice. I can memorize things I read. They just...stay up there -" he pointed to his head "- like a picture that I can look at later if I want."

"It's not the same. _I'm_ not the same," Regulus said after a moment of consideration. "Macbeth was kept awake by the promise of tomorrow. I'm just...broken."

"You are not broken," Bartemius snapped at the other boy, his hand slamming down on the counter in front of him. "Look at me, dammit. You're just going through a rough time, you'll get past all this and be just like before."

"Like before what?" Regulus scoffed and rubbed at his face. "Be like I was before I -" He knew better to go on. His eyes wandered up towards Bartemius with careful consideration. The blonde's devotion to his future, his desire to want to be a Death Eater, his unwavering reserve that the Dark Lord was going to lead them all into a flawless tomorrow...it was too strong. "Maybe it's just all the pressure of N.E.W.T.s," he ventured. No, Bartemius was not one to be trusted with the inner workings of his mind, the doubts that were surfacing in every pore of his being.

"Maybe you could ask Him to help you." Bartemius tried to sound casual but it was all too easy to pick up on that small twinge of hope that hung in his words.

"You want me to ask Him for help? You want me to lay out how weak I am in front of the Dark Lord?" Regulus flung his hands into the plates that held their muffins, sending crumbs all over Bartemius and sending one crashing into the floor. He ignored the panicked sounds of the house-elf as it scrambled to clean up the mess and advanced on the blonde angrily. "Saying things like that is the reason that I know that you're not ready to meet Him." He turned his back on Bartemius and started for the door.

"I'm just trying to help you," the blonde argued, racing after the other boy and grabbing his arm.

Regulus pulled from the boy's fingers and sneered at him. "Help me? I don't need help! I don't see you running off to the nurse every time you miss a few nights of sleep," he hissed.

"It's different for me, Regulus and you know it. I've been that way my whole life and I can still function just fine without sleeping."

"So I can't function, is that it?"

"That's not what I said."

"It's what you implied."

"Maybe...maybe you can't." Bartemius held out his hands in surrender and stared at the floor. "I'm worried about you," he whispered. "You look like you're on death's door and sometimes..." He stepped closer to Regulus and lowered his voice in a secretive way. "Sometimes I hear you talk to yourself."

"Everyone talks to themselves, Barty. It's called _thinking_. I just happen to do it aloud on occasion."

"Don't you dare patronize me, Regulus Black. I know the difference between thinking out loud and _talking_ to yourself. It's like...it's like you're having one half of a conversation and I can't hear the other side. And you say things that -"

"That what?"

"...that terrify me. Regulus you would never...hurt yourself would you?"

The boy looked horror struck. "That's mental, Barty." His eyes flashed with anger and his fingers curled into fists at his sides. "I'm not deranged."

"I didn't say you were," he whispered. "I just said that -"

"That you're terrified I'm going to hurt myself. I fucking heard you just fine." He shook his head, eyes closed tight, breathing frantic and loud. "What would you do then, huh?" he asked, looking back to the boy with a wide and taunting gaze. "You've spent so much time getting on my good side, trying to get close to the Dark Lord, what would happen to you if I was gone?"

"What?" Bartemius looked wounded. "Regulus this isn't about that."

"Isn't it always about _that_?" Regulus stepped closer. "All _we_ have ever been is your little ticket to the Dark Lord. That's all we would ever be." He put his hands on Bartemius' neck and cradled him softly. "You don't have to pretend like this is something it's not. I know when you get what you want -" he kissed the boy gently and looked into his eyes "- you'll be gone. I've always known that."

Bartemius shook his head and wound his hands into Regulus' night shirt. "We've been over this countless times, Regulus," he whispered. "You know that's not true."

"Do you think you could kill me if you were told to?"

"_Don't_. Don't say things like that."

"Or maybe you're already planning to," Regulus went on, a slight laugh escaping his lips. He kissed the younger boy again, his arms snaking around Bartemius' body and pulling him as close as he could stand. He broke his lips away with a grin. "Is that what you're going to do? Get me to take you to Him then get rid of me?"

"You're paranoid."

"Paranoid?"

"Yes." Bartemius pushed himself out of Regulus' arms, a pained look on his features. "You're starting to get paranoid because you haven't been sleeping! I've read about it. My mum used to take me to these Healers who messed with your head because I wouldn't sleep when I was a little kid. And losing sleep can really fuck up your mind, Regulus."

"So you think I'm paranoid and deranged!"

"I never called you deranged!" The blonde yanked at his hair in frustration and began ticking off his words on his fingers. "Paranoia, weight loss, trouble focusing, confusion...even hallucinations are all things that can happen when you're sleep deprived. Any of that sound familiar?" He grabbed onto Regulus' arm again when it was clear the boy was about to make a quick exit. "If you would just suck up your bloody pride and -"

"This isn't about pride!" Regulus insisted. "There's nothing wrong with me. I'm tired, big deal. I'm not paranoid or confused and I am not having hallucinations."

"I've heard you."

"You've heard me talking. That doesn't mean I'm seeing shit, Barty. It's a voice. Not a big deal."

"You're hearing voices?" Bartemius widened his eyes and tightened his grip on Regulus' arm. "Regu-"

"Voice. One voice." The boy held up a single finger in front of Bartemius' face and took a long, calming breath. "There's nothing wrong with me."

The blonde dropped his eyes to the floor and clung to the other boy, desperate for his embrace. "I'll drop it for now," he whispered. "Who..." He looked up at Regulus. "Whose voice?"

"You don't wanna know, Barty," Regulus whispered. "Just forget the whole thing. Let's go back to the common room and try to get some sleep before the sun comes up."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thank you again. :) –Jenna**

"**Sleep shall neither night nor day, hang upon his penthouse lid. He shall live a man forbid." Witch – Act 1, Scene 3**


	69. To Lighten His Heart

**Chapter 69: To Lighten His Heart**

**.**

Regulus paced the floor of his dormitory room, reciting over and over the steps for making Veritaserum. His test was in a few hours and he still had to look down at his note cards in the more difficult stages of the potion. "I'm never going to get this," he muttered to himself. "I'm going to melt the table at this rate."

The sound of throat clearing from the doorway caught the boy's attention and he spun around to see a smirking Bartemius leaned on the door frame. "You done berating yourself for a moment? I wanna show you something," the blonde boy said with a casual tone.

"I don't have time, I need to memorize this." Regulus waved his cards at the other boy. "The test is right after lunch."

"If you don't know it by now, you never will," Bartemius argued, plucking the cards from the boy's hand and tossing them upon his bed. "It'll only take a few minutes. Come on." He held out his hand and gave Regulus a stern look. "I'm not taking _no_ for an answer."

"Fine, let's go." Regulus shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets, determined to go on his own terms if he was to be dragged off somewhere.

Bartemius seemed un-phased by the boy's stubbornness and led him out of the dungeons. He ignored Regulus' repeated questioning of where they were going and continued out of the school, across the grounds and towards a large tree in the distance. "We're almost there, just calm yourself," he sighed.

"You said this wouldn't take but a few minutes," Regulus pointed out.

"I lied." Bartemius looked back and gave the older boy a get-over-it smile. Once the two reached the tree and hid away behind it, he finally came to a stop and turned around to face Regulus. "Did you love him?" When the other boy stared back in silence, he stepped closer. "Just answer me. And don't say who, either. You know who I mean."

"I don't see what it matters, Barty. Did you seriously drag me out here to ask me that?"

"No, but it would be nice if you would just answer the bloody question."

"Yes." Regulus held out his hands and sighed. "You feel better now? Are you satisfied?"

Bartemius nodded and stepped closer to Regulus again. He laid his hands on the boy's chest and wound the emerald tie around his fingers. "Do you still love him?"

"He's dead."

"That wasn't the question."

Regulus put his hands on the other boy's shoulders and rubbed them up and down his arms. "There are days I wish that I had never met him. I feel like he was some kind of test that I failed. And even in death, I still have to suffer him."

"Because it's his voice that you hear sometimes?"

"I told you to forget about that," Regulus whispered, putting his hand on the other boy's cheek softly. "I don't want you thinking those things. I'm not crazy."

"That's not the kind of thing that you can just forget, Regulus." He stared at the ground, falling silent.

"Why are you asking about him?" He was almost afraid to know the answer.

Bartemius took a deep breath and looked up, his brown eyes finding Regulus' grey. "Because I couldn't do what I have to do unless I knew he was gone. That he wasn't here anymore." He patted the boy's chest and stuffed his hand into his pocket.

"Barty wh-"

"I can't do this half way anymore." Bartemius pulled a small token from his pocket and held it up in front of Regulus' eyes. It was a small silver ring, not unique in any way. "I want you to wear this. And not _just_ wear it, I want you to mean it."

Regulus stared at the ring in silence and took it from the other boy. He turned it over in his hands and pursed his lips, his head shaking slightly. "And what the hell is this supposed to mean exactly?"

"It means that I love you," the boy answered quietly. "You don't trust me. And you don't think that I mean it when I say how much I want you, how much I need you. You hide yourself from me and you keep secrets and it kills me. Nothing, and I mean _nothing_, has ever caused me more pain than you do."

"If I hurt you so much then what is this for?" Regulus held up the ring and frowned.

"You once told me that there are things that will _always_ be worth the pain they cause." He touched the boy's left forearm through his shirt and sighed. "You were talking about physical pain, but I feel the same way about you. When you say that you don't trust me, that you think I'm just going to run off after I get what I want, that makes me so damn angry because you..._you_ are what I want!"

"I don't love you," Regulus tried to put the ring back into Bartemius' hand but the boy refused to take it.

He held his hands up and stepped back from the dark-haired boy with determination. "I didn't ask you to love me back. I am only asking that you allow me to love you." He grabbed Regulus' hands and pulled the boy roughly to the ground, forcing him to sit against the tree. He sat on his knees before the other boy and smiled. "Do you know where we are?"

"Is that a rhetorical question, Barty? Hogwarts? The grounds? A...tree?"

Bartemius laughed. "This is where we were the first time I kissed you." The look of realization on Regulus' face brought a big smile to the blonde's lips. "You got so mad at me," he went on, scooting closer. "You told me to never do that again, that I shouldn't kiss you."

"You didn't exactly listen," Regulus teased, his eyes moving to the ring in his hand.

"No I didn't. And if I had listened to you then, we wouldn't have what we do now."

"What do we have now?" Regulus looked at the younger boy in exasperation. "This is the most twisted thing I can imagine. We fight and fuck and study and -"

"We do a lot more than that," Bartemius interrupted. "And we don't...we don't just _fuck_ and you know that." He slipped his hand into the other boy's and settled next to him by the tree. "When we're together, it means something. To both of us, I can tell. It's the only time you're vulnerable, the only time that you aren't guarding your every thought like a fortress." He took the ring from Regulus grasp and slid it onto the middle finger of the boy's right hand. "Wear it here. No one will know what it's for but us."

Regulus thought about taking off the ring and demanding that Bartemius get rid of it, but something small inside of him didn't want to hurt the other boy that way. He just stared down at the silver, no words coming to mind to express how he felt. He wasn't even sure how he felt.

"I love you."

"I'm not saying it back," Regulus whispered.

"I don't want you to." Bartemius kissed the other boy tenderly and met his gaze. "I just want you to say that you believe me." After staring into the boy's eyes for a moment, he repeated, "I love you."

"I..." Regulus pressed a chaste kiss to the blonde's fingers. "I believe you."

After that, Regulus began to allow Bartemius to get closer. He never spoke about the Dark Lord or any of the things he did in service to him. He never confided his doubts or fears to the other boy. But he didn't guard the rest of himself so close anymore. Slowly, he began to let the blonde into his mind. He told him stories from his childhood, times he'd had with Sirius and how he wished that they could be real brothers again. He even told Bartemius about Sarah and the baby.

Bartemius never judged. He listened, truly listened, with open ears and an open mind, offering bits of collected wisdom here and there when it seemed to fit. He always seemed to know when Regulus was feeling too upset to go on. He would interrupt the boy and beg for a trip to the kitchen or a walk outside. He never pressed his opinions on anything.

And Regulus slept. The nights he spent with Bartemius led him into a dreamless sleep. His grades picked up, partly due to the other boy's help and partly to his own determination and clear mind. He was happy. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he was happy.

The two spent a lot of time outside by what they would come to call _their_ tree. Sometimes they spoke about their lives and other times they just indulged in mindless gossip of the school's going-ons and class work. There were days they just sat beneath the tree, holding hands in dead silence.

The air around Hogwarts grew colder. The leaves changed from their vivid green into an autumn brown and dropped from the branches as Halloween drew near. With the approaching holiday, Regulus found himself growing morose and sheltered himself off from the rest of his House.

The Slytherins were making plans for a small Halloween party and carving up pumpkins but Regulus wouldn't have any part in it. Bartemius sought out the boy in the corner of the busy common room and slipped into the seat beside him. "What's wrong?" he whispered, not daring to reach out and touch the other boy in such a crowded area.

Regulus gave a little shrug and focused his attention on a tiny pumpkin he held in his lap. "It's just all this Halloween stuff," he muttered. "Topher used to...well it was his favorite holiday. He and Will always planned some kind of prank and Topher would get so sugared up on candy and pie he wouldn't sleep the entire night. In third year -" he chuckled a bit and looked over at Bartemius with a sad smile "- he got so wound up that he got the brilliant idea to try and teach the giant squid how to dance."

"Dance?" Bartemius quirked his eyebrows and smirked.

"I don't know how he planned on doing it. We got busted by a Prefect before we got out of the dungeons." Regulus picked at the stem of the pumpkin and pulled out his wand. Carefully, he carved typical triangle-eyes and a buck-toothed-smile into the thick orange flesh and tossed away the scraps with the other students' carvings.

"If you want, we can go out to the lake," Bartemius offered as he took the pumpkin from the other boy and placed a candle deep inside. "Or just go for a walk."

Regulus shook his head and pointed his wand at the wick of the candle to light it. "Can we just stay here? I mean...you still have to make your own pumpkin."

"I don't usually join these kinds of things."

"Then why are you here now?" Regulus couldn't help but chuckle.

Bartemius just stared into the glow of the tiny pumpkin and smiled.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: I feel like I'm having to rush along the term here, but there's not much action in the story until Christmas. I don't really feel like it would be quality reading to have chapters full of homework and chit chat. So, feel free to review and thank you! :) –Jenna**


	70. Happy Christmas – I

**Chapter 70: Happy Christmas – I**

**.**

Regulus was surprised to find Bartemius' name on the list of students staying at Hogwarts over Christmas Holiday. The moment he spotted it, he went in search of the boy, finding him sitting on the edge of his bed in the sixth year boys' dormitories. "Barty?" he ventured softly, climbing onto the boy's bed behind him. He rubbed his hands over the blonde's shoulders and brought his face around to see him better. "You're not going home for Christmas?"

"My dad has some big Ministry party planned for Christmas and he doesn't want me around to interrupt," he answered, pulling away from Regulus and getting to his feet. "I don't care though. I've always wondered what happened around this place over the holiday."

Bartemius was putting on a brave face, but Regulus could hear the wounded tone in his voice. The boy took his friend by the hand and pulled him back over to the bed. "I was hoping I'd see you over the break. Bella's having a party and I -"

"Well I can't go." Bartemius jerked his hand away and dragged his fingers through his hair in upset. The boy immediately groaned with what he'd done and raced over to his mirror to fix his perfectly coiffed locks.

"You look fine. Come here a minute," Regulus insisted. When the blonde made no signs of coming to his call, the young Black narrowed his eyes and adopted a sharp tone. "Barty, I'm leaving soon and I want to see you before I go. Besides..." He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a tiny box. "I have your Christmas gift."

At the word _gift_ Bartemius got a much more pleasant look upon his face and hurried back over to Regulus. "You got me a gift?" he asked with a huge smile on his lips. The boy planted himself on the bed as close to the other as he could get and leaned against him. "That's really small. What is it?"

"Just open it." Regulus started to hand over the tiny silver-wrapped box, but pulled it back at the last moment. "Only don't...don't read too much into it, alright?"

Bartemius raised his eyebrows and took the box from Regulus, even more eager to see what was concealed within now. He tore free the shiny paper and let it fall to the bed in an unusual mess for the typically pristine boy. His dark brown eyes widened when he lifted the lid from the cardboard box. Sitting in the bottom on the box was a small, silver band, almost identical to the one he'd given Regulus months prior. "Regulus this is..." He licked his lips and dared to glance up at the other boy. "What is this?"

"I wanted us to match." Regulus bit his bottom lip and pulled the ring out of the box. "Wear it here, in the same place." The boy slid the ring onto Bartemius' right hand middle finger and grinned. "Like I said, don't read too much into it though. This isn't...this isn't the same thing you meant." He glanced up into the other boy's eyes and shrugged. "It just means that I don't want you to think that I've forgotten my promises. I still plan on fighting to keep you if anything tries to tear us apart."

Bartemius slipped his arms around the dark-haired boy's neck and kissed him deeply, pushing him back against the bed and moving to sit on his lap. Just as the kiss became intense, the other two sixth year boys burst into the room, each making a loud and shocked guttural sound at the sight on the bed. The two boys jumped apart, Regulus falling into the floor with a thud. Bartemius' roommates exchanged unreadable glances and walked over to their respective beds without a word.

"I should go." Regulus got to his feet and adjusted his bunched up robes. He threw Bartemius a fleeting glance and headed for the door, hesitating at the brink. "I'll write," he assured the boy, flashing a sweet smile to the blonde, figuring there was no use putting on a front for the roommates any longer. "See you after Holiday."

The Hogwarts Express had never been so lonely before. Without any of his usual companions, or even his usual enemies, Regulus attempted to sleep the ride away rather than endure the heavy silence in his empty compartment. Perhaps it was the uncomfortable seats, they really weren't made for sleeping on; perhaps it was the jerking of the train; perhaps it was the impending weeks with his family and the Dark Lord; whatever the reason, he couldn't fall asleep. The boy resigned himself to working on a History of Magic essay that wasn't even due until March in order to keep from losing his mind.

Bellatrix met Regulus at the train station alone, which worried him. The boy narrowed his eyes and surveyed his cousin as he followed her silently through the crowd. She seemed so excited. That worried him even more. His suspicions that something was afoot were confirmed when the woman informed him that he was to be spending the evening at her home for dinner and meeting with the Dark Lord.

Regulus hated the idea of having to be subjected to stuffy dress attire and orders on his first day of break, but he put up no fuss about it. He dressed in his finest and joined his parents, Bellatrix, Rodolphus and the Dark Lord for an elegant dinner.

Around the fourth course, a nice lemon sorbet with fresh mint, Orion Black started getting twitchy. His manner of speech became tense and weighted, his every word designed to flesh out what the purpose of the little gathering was for. Bellatrix and the Dark Lord both seemed to find this amusing. They continued to steer the conversation into more superficial waters such as the latest Ministry Gala and an upcoming wedding. Regulus might not have been so nervous if it weren't for his father's clear worry.

Dinner seemed to drag out, but eventually the plates were cleared and Rodolphus got to his feet. "Orion, why don't you and I retire to the parlor for a brandy? The ladies can go into the sitting room and discuss the menu for our New Years Party."

Regulus couldn't help but smirk. He quite liked his cousin's husband, but to see the man act as if he had any say over the night's events was comical. If Bellatrix was to agree with him, it would only be because she told him to make such a request before dinner.

"That sounds like a marvelous idea," Bellatrix cooed, also taking to her feet. The woman pressed a kiss to her husband's cheek and turned her steely eyes onto Orion. "Don't you agree?"

Orion nodded silently and guided his wife from the room. He didn't dare look back at his son. Bellatrix, on the other hand, turned to Regulus and grinned at him like a cat with a mouse. The boy felt his stomach knot, but did nothing to show how sick with worry he was.

Once Bellatrix and Rodolphus took their leave, Regulus dropped his eyes to his lap and stiffened in his seat. "Have...have I done something wrong, my Lord?" he asked hesitantly.

"Certainly not," the man answered. He relaxed back into his seat, one leg crossed over the other, his arms lying languid over the chair arms. His fingers curled around the edge of the chair's arms, gripping the deeply coloured wood so tight his hand would have paled were there any colour to his skin to begin with. "I have a task for you."

The boy perked up his ears but did not speak or move.

"Consider it your second chance at a previous task, actually." The Dark Lord chuckled softly and cast his slitted eyes over Regulus, watching for any signs of reaction. "I don't like to give second chances. And I refuse to give third."

"Of course, my Lord." Regulus waited.

The man slipped his hand into his pocket and withdrew a small, silver vial. He placed the container on the table before Regulus and met the boy's questioning eyes. "Poison. Simple, fast-acting and undetectable. You can slip it into anything and he won't even notice the taste."

"When you say _he_ you mean...?" Regulus picked up the vial and shivered. It was no bigger than his pinky finger and felt like ice to the touch. "Sirius," he answered for himself, only receiving a nod from the Dark Lord. "I'll go straight away." The boy held his head up high and pocketed the vial.

"No." The Dark Lord shook his head and picked up his wine glass from dinner, giving the remnants a swirl. "Seems that many of our Phoenix foes are away for the week. Your brother will not be home until the twenty-fourth. You will go the following day."

"Christmas? You...you want me to kill my brother on Christmas?" Regulus swallowed back a lump of sick and nodded obediently. "As you wish, Sir."

"Be mindful not to fail this time, Regulus. The consequences would be...most severe." The man lifted his glass to his lips and drew the sweet red liquid into his mouth. A soft, pleasure induced moan escaped the Dark Lord and he placed the glass gingerly back upon the table. "I would hate for anything to happen to you. Or your parents. Or...anyone else who may follow your distinct blood line."

Regulus' eyes widened just slightly, but it was enough to bring a smile to the Dark Lord's pale lips. "My Lord?" The boy wasn't quite sure what his leader had just threatened. He perfectly understood that failure could result in his and his parents' death, but the last of the man's threat. _Anyone else who may follow your distinct blood line_.

"You're dismissed," was the man's only answer.

Regulus nodded once more and clambered to his feet, then made a quick line to put as much distance between himself and Voldemort as possible. He bounded up the stairs and charged straight for the bathroom on the third floor of Lestrange Manor. No sooner than the door closed, Regulus was sick. The seven course dinner and red wine was quick to leave his system. Even empty, the boy could not stop his stomach from lurching and his throat from burning.

He wasn't certain, but he was fairly sure that the Dark Lord had just threatened to kill Sarah's child if he failed to kill his brother on Christmas Day. His own life, his parents' lives...for a brief moment in the dining room, Regulus had considered forfeiting them all to spare his brother. But could he condemn an innocent child, _his_ own child, to death?

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Next chapter will pick up where this one left off. Regulus has quite the choice to make. What do you think of his brief consideration in the dining room? How do you think Regulus is going to get out having to poison his brother? Or will he get out of it at all...? Thank you so much for reading! –Jenna**


	71. Happy Christmas – II

**Chapter 71: Happy Christmas – II**

**.**

_**Dec 20, 1978 - Dear Barty,  
**__Seems a bit silly writing so soon. I've only been home for two days now, but it seems like ages since I left Hogwarts. There's so much happening right now, but I can't tell you in a letter. Bella says that our mail is being more heavily tracked. Can't take the risk. I'm sure you can guess what it's about. I'll tell you every detail when I get back to school.  
__I hope that you aren't too miserable being there alone. Surely the house-elves are making sure you're nice and comfortable. I bet if you ask them, you can get some of their apple cider before Christmas morning. I know how much you enjoy that. If only you were coming for New Years. The party just won't be worth it without you. Maybe if you write to your mother, she can bring you home after your father's Christmas party is over. It's worth a try at least. I really wish you were here. ** - R.A.B**._

* * *

Regulus laid his quill on the desk beside the letter and stared down at the scrawling. He hated that he couldn't explain more, but the boy knew if he mentioned his orders there was a chance some member of the staff or worse, a Phoenix, could snag onto it. There was so much more he wished he could say. Not just about Sirius or the baby or even the Dark Lord, but personal matters. The boy folded his letter in silence and toyed with the silver band around his middle finger. Staring down at the ring, he was painfully reminded of all that he could not say.

The young Black turned the letter over in his hands, sealed it with the family crest and scratched _Bartemius Crouch, Hogwarts, Slytherin 6th Year_ on the outside. A quick glance at his clock assured him that it was far too early to call on Kreacher or even fetch the family owl himself. The sun had not even considered rising for the day. The time did not matter to Regulus, he had yet to see his bed that night. Or the previous one. And how could he sleep after what happened at Bellatrix's dinner?

His mind had started racing from the moment he pulled himself up off his cousin's bathroom floor. Was the Dark Lord's threat really aimed at Sarah's child? The child even he made no claim on; the child he'd told no one other than Bartemius about. Would the Dark Lord go as far as to kill an unknowing infant just to punish Regulus' failure? And how could He even know about the child?

In a moment of heated anger, as Regulus stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, his face pale and soaked in sweat, he considered walking into St. Mungos and cursing everyone he came across for answers. He wanted to hold his wand on Thomas and demand to know what he shared with anyone about Regulus' visit. He wanted to kill his former Housemate. He wanted to burn the hospital to the ground just for existing. He wanted to spit upon Sarah for her foolishness; if anyone could be blamed for the Dark Lord's new leverage, it was her.

But what would be the point?

Even if Regulus tore apart each and every person who played a piece in allowing his ultimatum, it would not erase the threat. It would not change what he had to do.

The boy slid his hand into his pocket and closed his fingers around the chilled glass vial that lay in his pocket. He refused to part with it, constantly carrying it around in his trousers for fear that he may lose it. He'd tried everything he could think of to warm the glass: held it tightly in his hands, set it on the window sill in direct sunlight, hovered it over the flame of a candle. All in vain. The tiny potion still emanated with a cold so powerful it burned. Regulus wondered if that was how death felt.

He hated how much he thought about the potion. It remained on the forefront of his mind in every moment. Regulus wondered if it would hurt when Sirius died. Was the potion some melting concoction that would leave his brother screaming on the floor at his feet, or would the older Black slip into a peaceful rest that he could never awake from? Regulus wondered if the potion would be quick. Would he have to stand by his brother and watch as he writhed in pain for hours on end, or would a single sip send him into instant death?

In his weaker days, Regulus might have seen an escape in the potion. His ticket out of that life; his key to the chains that bound him into devious servitude. He couldn't help but wonder if the Dark Lord wanted him to take the coward's way out. After all, what real purpose would killing Sirius serve? No, Regulus had long since realized that Sirius' death, or lack there of, would only prove to as an example for the Dark Lord to call upon when needed.

The boy closed his eyes and slipped the vial back into his pocket. Five days. He had five days.

* * *

_**Dec 22, 1978 - Dear Regulus,  
**__Don't feel silly. I was hoping you'd write straight away. Do you honestly think someone is going to go through our mail? We're just two school boys who happen to be writing over Christmas holiday. If anything, they'll merely suspect that our relationship is more than we allude to and after all, it is. While I'm on that, don't worry about my roommates, they won't exactly remember what they walked in on before you left. I know you didn't ask me too, but I'd rather not have more problems than are necessary. It's hard enough without a couple of blokes holding something over my head.  
__I really want to come to the party. I wrote my mother like you suggested. She'll probably write back the moment it arrives, so I can tell you her answer when I write you again. Do you really wish I was there right now? Would you really want to spend your Christmas holiday with me? Just out of curiosity, is Will going to be attending this New Years party? Or seeing you over the holiday at all. Not that it matters, it's alright with me if you see him, but after what happened last time, you can't blame me for being a bit skittish about him. I miss you. ** - With Love and Truth, Barty**_

* * *

Regulus grinned down at the letter in his hands and shook his head. Bartemius couldn't have been more obvious if he'd tried. The boy had half a mind to write back and chastise him for being so open in a letter; something that could have been taken, read and returned to normal without anyone's knowledge. Bartemius could have gotten into trouble for what he did to his roommates. Not to mention the possible ramifications for being so free speaking about his feelings.

But the fact remained that Regulus was smiling. The first smile he'd worn since he arrived home. Nothing was going to make him ruin the fleeting moment of peace he found in that letter. He read it over and over again, carried it in his pocket to call upon whenever he wanted. There was nothing particular in the letter that brought him such comfort, but it was the tangible proof that he wasn't alone.

* * *

_**Dec 24, 1978 - Dear Barty,  
**__Your jealousy and insecurity is beyond transparent, Barty. I haven't seen Will since I got home and I don't plan on changing that. As for the party, I don't know who all will be there. But if you get permission, then it won't matter if he's sniffing around. And I do wish you were here now. Tomorrow is such a big day and I could use some of your cheering up.  
__As for your roommates, it was probably for the best what you did. I might have done the same, myself, had I not been leaving and had my mind in another place at the time. Hope to see you soon. ** - R.A.B**._

* * *

Regulus let out a long breath, addressed the letter to Bartemius and passed it to Kreacher. "Send this off for me," he whispered before getting to his feet. The boy stood at his bedroom door until the house-elf took his leave, then closed the door behind him. The moment the latch clicked, Regulus regretted shutting himself off. Left alone with only his thoughts, the ones he'd been trying to suppress were the first to surface.

It was late and morning would be upon him sooner than he'd like. The vial of poison seemed so heavy in his pocket, though it couldn't weigh more than a few ounces. He could feel the cold pressing against his leg through the heavy fabric lining. He knew he should try to sleep, unless he wanted to look like death when he arrived at his brother's home the next morning.

_Brother_. How odd that word felt after all the two boys had been through. Regulus pulled his door back open and charged down the short hallway that stretched between his own and Sirius' bedroom. The boy stood in front of his brother's door, his fingers tracing the edge of a small nameplate. Thick dirt covered up what Regulus knew to read _Sirius_. He assumed Kreacher had been making some form of statement by refusing to clean the name or even venture into the room.

With the sleeve of his robes, the boy wiped off the nameplate until the silver shined. "There," he said to no one at all. "I'm sorry." His grey, bloodshot eyes didn't move from his brother's name as he spoke. "I'm sorry that it has to be this way, but you made your choice. You didn't have to leave. You didn't have to turn your back on this family, but you did. And now..." Regulus looked away from the door and closed his eyes. "Now you've left me with no choice."

He couldn't wait. He couldn't spend one more night laying in his bed, tossing and turning and fighting with the sheets. He couldn't stretch out the inevitable another day, another hour even. Regulus swallowed hard and walked downstairs. "Kreacher?" The boy looked down at his loyal house-elf and considered his words carefully. "I'm going out. If mother or father asks where I've gone, just tell them that I'm on orders from the Dark Lord."

"Yes, Master Regulus," the tiny elf answered, nodding his head towards the young Black.

Regulus turned his back on the creature and left his home. The night was frigid but he didn't care. He wouldn't let anything change his mind. His slickly polished shoes collected snow and dirt as he crunched through the yard until he was far enough away to Disapparate.

With a tiny _pop_ he squeezed through space and landed on the other side. He caught his balance on the rails of the steps leading up to a tiny brownstone. The place looked a worn down, but well taken care of, like a losing battle with time that the owner wouldn't concede in. A light flickered in the front window, assuring Regulus that his trip would not be in vain. With a shaky hand, the boy knocked on his brother's door and took a deep breath.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: A chapter of reflection and transition to prepare Regulus for the big day. Let me know how you think everything will play out now that he's only an open door away from his task. Thank you so much for reading! –Jenna**


	72. Happy Christmas – III

**Chapter 72: Happy Christmas – III**

**.**

The sound of a muffled voice carried to Regulus from the other side of the door. The boy's hands were shaking, be it from fear or the cold he wasn't sure. Inside, he could hear feet clomping closer and closer. He held his breath as the clicking of locks and clanging of latch chains signaled that the door was about to be opened.

The thick wooden door swung open wide, revealing a haughty Sirius Black in his nicest of robes, his hair neatly combed. "About time you got he- Oh!" The young man's eyes widened, the smile intended for his expected visitor frozen on his lips. "Re...Regulus?" He swallowed back his shock and threw a worried glance behind him into the entryway. "You're alone?" he asked, his eyes flashing back to his younger brother.

"Yes." Regulus didn't recognize his own voice, it was so stiff and heavy.

"I'm not." Sirius folded his arms and stood up a little straighter. "James is here. Peter and Remus are here too. And...Lily. And Dorcas. So whatever you're up to, you can just forget it. You're outnumbered."

"Out...numbered?" Regulus would have been offended more if he wasn't there to kill the person now accusing him of being up to something. "I don't care if you're alone. I'm not up to anything. I..." He let out a shaky breath and stared at the pavement below his feet. "I just wanted to see you," he whispered, feigning the most broken tone imaginable. "I know that you don't have a reason to trust me, but if you just give me a few minutes..." He reached up and dragged his palm across his dry eyes for effect.

"Regulus, I...I don't know." The older Black gripped the door-frame, staring over his brother in silence. He tapped his foot, watching the younger boy fidget and squirm in place. Finally, Sirius let out a long sigh and stepped out of the door way. "Come in." He waved his hand and frowned. "I swear if you try anything funny, I'll kick your ass."

Regulus felt his stomach turn as he stepped past his brother and slowly made his way down the small entrance hallway. "I thought you said you weren't alone," the boy noted, seeing absolutely no one else in sight. He peeked around the corner into the living room and pushed straight through into his brother's kitchen, still seeing no one else around.

Sirius narrowed his eyes and looked around the kitchen as though he was searching for something...or someone. "I lied," the young man said simply, resting his gaze back on Regulus. "Can you blame me? Death Eater shows up on your doorstep, last thing you want is for him to know that you're alone."

"I'm alone."

"So you say."

"I am!" Regulus snapped. It didn't matter what his intentions were, he wouldn't stand for being accused of something he hadn't done. Regardless of his mission, he was alone. "You really don't have anyone here?" he asked, eying his brother's fancy clothing.

"Do you see anyone here?" the other countered. "I was just about to go over to James' for some Christmas Eve drinking. Just waiting on Remus to get here so we can go together." Sirius shrugged and leaned his hip against the kitchen counter. "Thought you were him when you knocked. Guess I shoulda known better, that pushy bloke never knocks."

Regulus offered a tiny smile and stared at the floor. His mind lingered on the vial sitting in his pocket, the chill against his leg a constant reminder that it wasn't leaving. "I've been thinking about some things lately. There's been some...new developments in my life that..." He took a moment to refocus his thoughts and rubbed his hands over his face. "Let's just say there's been some things come to light and I realize what I have to do."

"Why, Regulus, it almost sounds like you're speaking for yourself."

"I _am_ speaking for myself." Regulus took a seat on one of the stools resting against the tiny bar at the edge of the kitchen. "I need your help."

"My help?" Sirius didn't bother to hold back his barking laughter. "You think that I'm going to help you? After everything you've done! Regulus, you're beyond help now."

"You've tried!" The boy looked up at his brother, tears lining the bottoms of his eyes. "Even after you swore you were done with me, you still tried to help; you still tried to be there for me. I...I saw it, Sirius! I saw your Patronus! That day at the apothecary wh-"

"Oh, that day when you and your mate tried to fucking kill me and Ed?" He slammed his hands on the bar in front of his brother and leaned closer, his eyes flashing with anger. "You mean that day?"

"Yes," Regulus whispered, turning away from the older boy's stare. "I didn't put it together at first, I was really confused, but then I did a little research and I learned that a Patronus and an...an Animagus always match."

"And your point?"

"My point is, it was _you_! Polaris was you the whole time. You were there for me when I was upset, you tried to keep me away from Barty, you showed me that Sarah was sneaking around, you listened to everything. You heard me confess things that I...that I -"

Sirius turned his back on his brother and shook his head. "Oh I heard things alright. The kind of things you can't _un-hear_ either."

"I almost killed you."

"I remember," Sirius snarled. "Bet you're regretting that choice to let me go now, aren't you?"

"No!" Regulus didn't know where the words were coming from. It was far from the conversation he planned to have. He wanted to stick to surface topics, get some tea and get it over with as quickly as possible. But he couldn't stop speaking. He couldn't make himself stop. "I regret a lot of things in my life, Sirius, but _that_...that was the one thing I did right." Regulus' mind was quick to remind him that he was now faced with the exact same choice to make. Kill Sirius or let him go?

"Is that why you're here? You want a thank-you for not killing me?"

"No, Sirius stop." The boy raised his hands to his hair and fought to catch his breath. His heart raced so hard it was painful.

Sirius took his brother's hands and pulled them away from his head. "Calm down, Regulus," he whispered. "Just breathe okay? You pass out on me and I'm going to roll you out into the snow, do you hear me?" he threatened. When his brother nodded, the older Black retreated into the kitchen and pulled two teacups from the cabinet. "I'll make you some tea and then...then you're going to tell me _exactly_ what the hell you're doing here?"

Regulus' breath hitched in his throat and he merely nodded. Minutes later, two cups of tea rested on the counter. The boy grabbed his and sipped at it for the warmth. He stared down into the cup, watching the tiny amber ripples dance across the top of his tea. He didn't know what to say. He'd thought of several ways to get his brother to leave the room when he was making his plans, but sitting there then, none of them came to his lips.

But he didn't have to say anything. Sirius placed his tea back on the saucer and cleared his throat. "I'm going to go Floo Remus and tell him to go on to James' without me. I'll stay here tonight. You...you can stay here tonight too. If you're serious about making a change... Well, we'll get to that." He nodded and excused himself into the living room where his fireplace sat.

Grey eyes followed Sirius from the room, then darted to the older boy's abandoned tea. Regulus slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out the chilled vial. The glass glinted from the harsh kitchen lights, reflecting his distressed face in the tiny surface. It was easy enough to pull the stopper from the poison. Regulus barely realized he was holding his breath. His hand moved above Sirius' teacup and occupied the air for what could have been an eternity.

Regulus knew it wasn't just his life or Sirius' on the line. Tip the vial and Sirius would die; simple as that. Don't tip the vial and not only would his own life be lost, but the life of his parents, Sarah, the baby whose name he suddenly regretted not learning. His hand shook so hard he almost dropped the vial into the teacup. The boy closed his eyes tightly, fighting off the sting of tears. "Sirius, forgive me," he whispered. "I hope your death is quick."

Regulus' fingers barely flinched but that was all it took. A steady stream of clear potion eased into the teacup below his hand. The tea didn't even move when the poison seeped in. The boy couldn't stand to see it, but his eyes could look nowhere else. It was eerie and wrong to see the drink so still, so calm, no knowledge of its deadly addition. He supposed that was the point, for the poison to be undetectable in any way.

A Seer could not have timed things more perfect. The instant Regulus slipped the empty vial into his pocket and resumed his innocent position, Sirius walked back into the kitchen. "Alright, Moo-uh, Remus isn't coming tonight." He dragged his fingers back through his hair and smiled over at his brother. "You know, you picked a rather bad time to decide to turn yourself around, but...it'll be nice to spend Christmas with you." He settled onto the stool beside his brother and pulled his tea over to him. "You've got a lot to work on and you'll have to – _What_?" The young man stiffened and peered down into his tea with a look of sheer horror on his face.

"What? I didn't say anything." Regulus looked between his brother and the tea in confusion.

"I wasn't talking to you," Sirius whispered, his voice shuddered and broken. The older Black knocked the back of his hand against his teacup, sending it sliding across the bar and crashing into the floor. "You...you tried – to – kill – me." He slapped his hand against his mouth and rounded on his brother, his eyes a mix of fear and loathing.

Regulus couldn't think. He shook his head over and over, his eyes holding his brother's angry stare. "Sirius, I...I had to. I – I – had to. I didn't have a choice."

"Oh you had a fucking choice!" Sirius grabbed his brother's robes and pulled the boy to his feet. He shook his brother roughly, the boy putting up no resistance from shock. "I was going to help you! I was going to protect you." His eyes shined with tears as he shoved his brother backwards.

At first, Regulus thought he hit a wall. His body collided with something hard, but it gave way beneath his weight. Two _oomphs_ rang out at the contact and Regulus tumbled into the floor over another body that he couldn't see. The boy was too confused to put together what was happening. It wasn't until James Potter's head appeared out of thin air that he understood.

"Get off me!" James shouted, frantically dragging the remainder of his Invisibility Cloak from his body. "Sirius, get him off."

Regulus' first instinct was to Apparate, but he could feel the magic pressing down on him, restricting his movement, indicating there were anti-Apparation charms on the home. "Sirius, don't!" he cried out when his brother raised his wand and pointed it straight at him.

It was too late, a blinding red light was the last thing Regulus saw in Sirius' home.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: I don't even know what to say right now. Leave a review? Thank you for reading. And all the other classic AN phrases. –Jenna**


	73. An Unlikely Saviour

**Chapter73: An Unlikely Saviour**

**.**

Regulus wasn't sure how long he'd been out of it. His head throbbed with pain; his mouth was so dry his tongue felt glued to the top of it. He couldn't move his arms and his wrists felt like something was cutting into them. It burned to open his eyes but his vision was so blurry he didn't bother to do so more than once.

He tried to Apparate but, like he expected, there were charms preventing it. That only worsened his condition as the magical ropes binding his wrists tightened with his attempted escape. He pulled at the restraints but they were firm in place, holding him against some sort of solid pillar behind him. He was captured and trapped, of that he was certain. But _where_ was another matter.

The room smelled musty and old, the air felt damp and, if he stayed perfectly silent, he could hear distant sounds of water crashing on a shoreline. Regulus tipped his head back against the pillar and sighed with defeat. He didn't know where he was or what was going to happen. _Prison_ was the first thing to jump to mind. He'd attempted to murder his brother in full view of a witness. A sneaky, hidden, prat of a witness, but one the courts would be quick to believe. He wondered if the Dark Lord would allow him to be dragged off in chains and thrown in amidst the Dementors to rot out the rest of his days. The boy almost laughed. Of course He would.

As time slowly ticked by, Regulus' vision cleared enough to look around. The room was tiny, filthy and broken down. It looked like some sort of storage shack for boating equipment. Abandoned long boards and busted canoe lay in a dust covered heap in one corner. The door was cracked and half hanging off the hinges. He shook his head, feeling even more pathetic that such a beaten down old shack could hold him against his will. Although, it was the magical constraints doing most of the work.

The tiny, grime-coated window to his left assured Regulus that it was early morning. The sun had not yet begun to glint on its surface and the sky was still bathed in deep blue. He could only hope that it was Christmas morning and he hadn't been held for over a full day.

His pondering was cut short by voices outside of the door. Instantly, Regulus hung his head and closed his eyes, hoping to look as weak as possible and give the impression he was still unconscious.

"I still say we should give him over to Crouch. Send his ass straight to Azkaban!" Regulus' heart raced at the sound of James Potter's angry voice. It had been just as he feared, prison awaited him.

"I'd feel better if we waited for Dumbledore to handle this." Sirius sounded broken and weak. His words were shaky and unsure. The door swung open to his touch and the two Phoenixes stomped into the shack. "I didn't want to believe it. But this..." Sirius paused and Regulus could only wonder what he was indicating "...it proves what he was up to. I can't believe I was so _stupid_, James." The older Black's voice grew louder and louder as he approached his brother.

"You weren't stupid, Sirius. He's your brother, you wanted to believe him."

"Yeah, I did want to. But I shouldn't have." Regulus felt something small strike him in the side of the head so hard it made him dizzy. His eyes slit open enough to see the poison vial, that had previously been at home in his pocket, clatter onto the floor and roll against the distant wall. "Take it back. I'm sure your poxy Lord will want to have his property returned." Sirius laughed but it wasn't amused, it was the laugh of a broken man, cold and manic. "Maybe we should dump you on his doorstep, eh? After all, that's what _you_ are too. His property."

"Sirius, let's wait for Dumbledore at the house," James whispered.

"No. I want to be here when he wakes up. I wanna tell him what an idiot he is right to his damn face!" Regulus felt a foot strike against the side of his leg, but it lacked any malice. "Are you awake now? Are you, little brother? Sitting there, tied to a fucking post, helpless and _alone_. Where's your Dark Lord now? Where are your little Death Eater mates?"

There was a small scuffling sound and some protesting grunts. "Sirius, just come on. Leave him be. He's not your problem anymore," James pleaded. "Sirius..." More scuffles and some rather loud cursing. "Sirius, damn you, come on!" The scuffles grew louder until the slamming of the shack door cut them off completely.

Regulus squeezed his eyes closed and fought off the stinging urge to cry. "Are you proud of yourself?" The boy stiffened at the question. He wanted to reach up and cover his ears to block out the voice but even if his wrists weren't bound, it wouldn't have mattered. He very well knew that he couldn't hide from _that_ voice. He couldn't hide from _those_ questions. He couldn't hide from _him_, the one who could torment Regulus even after his death. "I asked if you were proud of yourself."

"Leave me alone," Regulus hissed. The boy pulled his knees to his chest and hung his head even lower. "I didn't have a choice. He was going to kill everyone."

"Why do you even care? Sarah, your parents, your _son_, none of them matter to you."

"That's not true." He was shocked at his own words. The boy shook his head and begged for the voice to go away.

"So Sirius doesn't matter to you then?"

"He does!" Regulus swore loudly and dragged his feet across the dirty hardwood floor. "I didn't have a choice. It was us or him."

"How convenient that you chose the side that would spare your own life."

"Shut up! Shut up!"

The door swung open and slammed heavily against the wall, sending vibrations through the shack and knocking a long board from its place. Regulus flinched as the board crashed onto the floor and glanced up at the intruder.

Lily Evans stood in the doorway, wand at-the-ready, her eyes frantically searching the room. "Who are you talking to?" she demanded, taking a cautious step into the room.

"No one."

"You were shouting."

"I was talking to myself!"

The red-head smirked and lowered her wand slightly, though the tension in her freckle covered arms was still obvious. "Finally gone off the edge then, Black? A full nutter...carrying on with yourself."

"Fuck you." Regulus sneered up at the girl and tightened his jaw.

"Now, now, is that any way to speak to someone who is about to decide your fate?" Lily tipped up her head and stared down her nose at Regulus. "Such a pity. I honestly hoped that Sirius would help you see the light. James says that you tried to poison him. Is that true?"

Regulus merely quirked a brow at the girl and frowned.

"I'll take that as a _yes_," she sighed. "Not even going to try denial?"

"I did what had to be done."

Lily clicked her tongue and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm at a crossroads, you see? On the one hand, you tried to murder one of my best friends. And you would probably attempt to take my life if you were armed." She began to pace back and forth in front of Regulus, her gaze never leaving his face even in her turns. "You work for Voldemort – oh come now, can't stand to hear your own boss' name?" Her lips pulled into a smile, clearly amused at Regulus' involuntary flinch. "You're a Death Eater and a murderer. You and your kind are violent, cruel and twisted."

"Sorry to interrupt your little tirade, but what are you doing here?" Regulus didn't need to be reminded of all that he was. He had to live with it and he'd be dammed if he was going to let some Muggle-born, do-good Phoenix member talk down to him.

"Well, you see," she went on, unaffected by his tone. "Professor Dumbledore says that you aren't a lost cause. He says...well he says that there is still hope for you in this world. He seems to think that you can change."

"He's wrong."

"That's what James said." She nodded and carried on with her pacing. "Sirius...he's not saying much on the matter. Bit distressed I'd imagine. What with everyone sitting around deciding what to do with his brother. So far things aren't looking too good for you."

Regulus twisted his face in confusion and opened his mouth to speak, but she wouldn't allow it.

"We're having a meeting right now. Everyone we could find on such short notice. Dumbledore is putting in his thoughts about you, claiming that he can take you and force you to turn yourself around. The others aren't having it though. We all trust him with our lives, but it seems no one trusts him about yours."

"They want to kill me?"

"Not quite. Just pitch you in prison and be done with it." She knelled in front of Regulus and pointed her wand at his chest. "They're voting on it. And, I'm very sure that the voters are going to side with James; he can be very convincing when he wants to be. But I'm not convinced. That day in the Hospital Wing, I heard something in your voice. Dare I call it doubt?"

Regulus refused to look up at her.

"And I trust Dumbledore. Completely."

Lily slid her wand behind Regulus and he felt the magical bindings fall away. The boy pulled his hands in front of him and rubbed at the red markings on his pale skin. "You'll lose their trust. Potter will be furious with you."

"I know what I'm doing." She stood up and turned her back on Regulus, making her way to the door. "Once you're ten meters from the door, you can Disapparate. And Black..." The girl took a deep breath and glanced over her shoulder. "Don't make me regret this. Because as much as I trust Dumbledore and as much as I feel I've done the right thing here...I won't hesitate to take you out if you _ever_ go near Sirius again."

Regulus watched the girl vanish from the door and, after a moment, heard the almost silent _pop_ of her Disapparation. He pushed himself to his feet, groaning as his muscles stretched. He stumbled a bit as he tried to regain his sense of balance and leaned against the door frame for support. The boy breathed the sea-water-tainted air of freedom and closed his eyes to take it in.

"I could run," he whispered to no one at all. He opened his eyes and peered out across the ocean waves crashing onto the of the shore. "Disappear and hide as a Muggle, ride out this bloody war in peace." He didn't need any foreign voice to convince him what a foolish idea it was. "But then I wouldn't have my chance...to make a difference." He rubbed his hands over his face and jogged away from the shack, Disapparating the moment he felt the charms break away.

Regulus landed in a crumpled heap in his front yard. His insides burned and he could only guess that he'd splinched something when he Apparated. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and stood up, wincing in pain. The boy moved carefully towards his front door, trying not to stand up fully because the pain was near blinding when he did. He leaned against the doorbell and waited for Kreacher to open the door, for he had neither key nor wand to get inside himself.

The house-elf's eyes widened with worry when he spotted Regulus in such pain. His tiny hands tugged the boy inside the house and shut out the world behind them. "Master Regulus should go to his bed and Kreacher will bring some tea and potions."

"That sounds like a brilliant idea," he whispered, clinging to the stair rails for support.

"Mistress Bella is in the kitchen," the elf added in a fearful tone. "She wants to be notified of your return if Kreacher sees you first."

"Tell her I'm here." Regulus looked down at the house-elf and sighed. "We have much to talk about."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Thank you for reading. I would love to hear what you think of Lily's rescue and everything else so far. We're so close to the end of the story that it's almost painful. I feel like my baby is all grown up and about to leave home. –Jenna**


	74. This Heart Still Beats

**Chapter 74: This Heart Still Beats**

**.**

Regulus could feel his cousin's cold, grey eyes watching his every move. He did his best to shut her out of his mind while he stripped off his traveling robes and eased onto his bed. His abdomen still burned with the damage done from his halfhearted Apparation. He was grateful for the healing potion Kreacher brought up to him, though he left the tea and biscuits untouched on his night stand.

"If you're through with your simpering, I would like to know what in the world happened." Bellatrix laid her hands on her hips and stared down at Regulus like a mother scolding a child.

He closed his eyes and rubbed at his temples. "Can't we do this later?" The look on his cousin's face was all he needed to realize she wasn't leaving without some answers. "Fine," he groaned. At least if he got the story over with quickly, she would go, leaving him to rest and heal. So he began the story, giving each detail on what he and Sirius did. The boy was sure to leave out any bits of conversation. He didn't want Bellatrix knowing about Polaris or Sirius' ability or that he'd been so daft as to trust a dog with his innermost secrets.

When Regulus reached the part in his story about James coming from thin air, Bellatrix's eyes widened and she held up her hand. "Potter has an Invisibility cloak?"

"Apparently."

"So you allowed someone under a cloak to ruin your entire plan?"

"I didn't know he was there!"

"I think that part is obvious." Bellatrix curled her lips in disgust and shook her head. "I wonder if you're ignorant or just lazy."

"Excuse me?" Regulus didn't care that he was in pain, he stood straight up and met his cousin's eyes dead on. "I'm neither."

The woman only scoffed. "Too ignorant or lazy to cast a simple _Homenum revelio_ spell."

"I had no reason to suspect we were being watched. And if I'd cast anything, he would have tossed me out for being suspicious!" Regulus took a step towards his cousin, uncaring when she went for her wand. "And furthermore, I don't recall an Invisibility cloak being on _any_ in-tel reports about James Potter. And who the hell made those lists, huh?"

"How dare you imply that this is _my_ fault?" Bellatrix flicked her wand and sent Regulus flying backwards. The boy slammed back against his bed and toppled heels over head into the floor on the other side. The woman raised her wand again, her eyes full of excitement. "I've been waiting to teach you a proper lesson, you insolent little twit."

"Now, now, Bella." The woman ran cold at the sound of her Lord's voice. She lowered her wand, turned to Voldemort and tipped her head respectfully. "It isn't sporting if he's unarmed, now is it?" the man asked, casting a glance at Regulus while the boy scrambled to his feet. "Besides, I need him awake and alive in order to get more information from him.

"Of course, my Lord. I'll go." Bellatrix threw one last scathing glare at Regulus before walking out.

The Dark Lord slowly pushed the door closed, cutting them off from Bellatrix's stare. "Explain yourself," he ordered, his voice steady and calm. The man's long, pale fingers stroked the antique locket which still hung around his neck.

Once again, Regulus told his story, exactly as he had to Bellatrix. Rather than interrupt, the Dark Lord let him continue on until he reached the part about waking up inside the broken old shack on the sea side. The boy cleared his throat and turned away from the man as he went on. "I guess whoever tied me up didn't do a very good job. I slipped my wrists out and left. They didn't even lock the door. I Disapparated straight back here once I was far enough away." _Nothing_ would have made Regulus confess that his freedom was granted by a Muggle-born girl.

The Dark Lord hummed with an indistinguishable tone. Regulus wasn't sure if he was mulling over his story or calling him on his lies. "You're not telling me everything," the man finally concluded. "Something about your brother."

"My brother?" Regulus raised his eyebrows and took a seat on the edge of his bed. He was starting to feel a bit too dizzy to stay standing. "What about him?"

"You're not...concealing any information about him, are you?" The Dark Lord walked closer, his eyes locking firm on the boy's. His hand lay delicately on Regulus' bedpost, supporting himself as he leaned over the boy. "I don't like when people try to hide things from me, Regulus." His voice was cold and snake-like, hissing the final sounds on the boy's name. "You would never keep things from me...right?"

"No. No, Sir." Regulus shook his head vehemently. "I would never, my Lord."

Lord Voldemort leaned closer to the boy, bringing his lips near enough to Regulus' ear that he could whisper. "That's good..."

The ancient, heavy locket draped around the man's neck fell against the boy's shoulder. Regulus felt as though he was being touched with a blade made out of pure ice. The locket lay frozen against his skin, only hindered by his thin dress shirt. And it was pulsing with a steady beat that mimicked the Dark Lord's breathing. It made his stomach turn. He wanted to scream and push the man away, just to get the foul locket off his shoulder, but he remained in place, steady and resolute.

"I remember when I first met you," the man breathed. "You had such...promise. But now -" he huffed a tiny laugh "- now your life hangs by a _very_ thin thread, Regulus Black." The Dark Lord stood up and straightened his robes, looking down his nose at the boy on the bed.

Regulus stayed silent. He was already aware of how thin a thread he was hanging by. A thread that was only there because of his last name. Despite all his failures, the name of _Black_ still held weight and power inside the Wizarding world. And great wealth. Voldemort would, of course, be slightly hesitant in killing the only remaining heir to that title and fortune. Hesitant, but not completely opposed. Regulus' last name didn't buy his immunity; it was only a stay of execution.

"Your wand was taken from you, was it not?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"Perhaps that is best. Clearly, you aren't doing much good with one. You've been set the same task twice now and twice you have failed miserably. Both times ending up severely wounded in the process. I'm beginning to wonder how you manage to get through the day in one piece." The man turned his back on Regulus and approached the boy's desk. "You aren't to have another until I say so."

"What about school, my Lord? They won't allow me to go without one."

"School?" The man let out a ghostly laugh and began rifling through the tiny stack of letters and homework on Regulus' desk. "You're lucky that you aren't in Azkaban, child. You won't be allowed back into Hogwarts. They'll arrest you no sooner than you step foot on the Platform."

Regulus paled. He hadn't even considered that. His foolish missteps had taken away the one and only thing that had brought him peace over the last year. His mistake had taken away -

"Bartemius Crouch?" The Dark Lord plucked one letter from the stack and held it before his eyes, squinting at it in disbelief. "I'd wonder if you were writing to the Head of Magical Law Enforcement, were this not addressed with such child-like handwriting." The man rounded back to Regulus and held up the letter. "His son, I presume."

"Yes, Sir. He's a Slytherin as well."

"In your year?"

"The one -" he cleared his throat and sat a bit straighter "- just below myself."

"And a Pure-blood, I'm sure." The Dark Lord awaited Regulus' confirming nod before going on. "You are...on _close_ terms with this young man?"

Regulus floundered for a moment, his head bowed. "I am."

"I care not what you do in your bed, child. Merely _who_ you consort yourself with. Wouldn't want to have a repeat of last time, now would we?"

"He _is_ a Pure-blood. And very loyal. He despises his father and shares your – um, _our_ views on how things should be run around the Ministry." Regulus had to force himself to stop speaking. He knew that doting on the boy too much would merely look like he was trying to gain approval. He didn't want, or need, the Dark Lord's approval, but he wouldn't sit by and allow the man to strip him of his only companion. He'd made a promise and, for the first time in his life, he was going to keep it.

"Does he?" The man placed Regulus' letter back upon the desk and folded his hands in front of him. "Then I look forward to meeting him." A sinister grin tugged at the man's thin, white lips, sending a chill down Regulus' spine. "I would love to continue this, but I have a prior engagement that takes precedent. We will finish discussing this tomorrow." He pulled open the door to reveal Bellatrix still standing in wait. "Ah, Bella, so glad that you didn't dash off. I believe you still had a few words for Regulus." The man stepped out of the way, allowing the woman entrance to the room once more.

Bellatrix played with the tip of her wand and tilted her head, an eager smile on her face. "Yes, my Lord, Regulus and I were just getting started."

* * *

In all of his seventeen years, Regulus had never seen the inside of his father's study. Orion Black had always shut himself off inside, making certain to lock the door. So when his father stood at his study door and called for Regulus to join him, the boy knew it was serious. He didn't question the man, he just stepped inside and allowed his eyes to roam.

There were piles of papers scattered over the large desk. Two wing-back chairs sat in the corners, stacks of books upon them, some of which had tumbled into the floor around. The entire study smelled of dust and Regulus had to resist the urge to sneeze from it. Brandy bottles stood empty on a drink cart and glasses sat haphazardly around the room. Clearly Kreacher was not permitted inside the study either. It was a bit throwing to see Orion, the typically neat and well groomed man, standing amidst a mess of his own creation.

"I have something for you." Orion pushed past his son and began to shuffle through a small stack of papers on the edge of his desk. "It's here somewh- Ah, here." The man thrust a crumpled bit of parchment into Regulus' hands.

The boy glanced down at it and raised his brow at the official Gringotts seal gracing the top of the paper. "What is this?"

"It's a vault. It's _your_ vault. You're seventeen now and it's about time you had your own. And...your own money. There's a bit in there to get you started, about eight-hundred Galleons. I've been sneaking bits into it here and there, taking it from places your mother wouldn't notice." He picked up the nearest brandy bottle to him and frowned at seeing it stark dry. "Oh, right, and this." The man pulled his wand from his pocket and stared down at it like he was seeing a dying friend for the last time.

Regulus widened his eyes when his father handed over his wand. "What...? What is this? You can't give me your wand."

"I can. It's mine to give."

"But I'm not even allowed to ha-"

"Damn it, Regulus!" Orion gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes. "You are a Wizard. It is your right and honour to carry a wand and no one, I mean _no one_, is going to take that from you. Do you understand me?"

"But why?" Regulus tucked his father's wand into the inside pocket of his robes and held his breath, almost fearful for the answer. "The money, the wand."

"I just want you to be taken care of if something happens to me." Orion turned his back on his son and ducked his head. "And if you wanted to leave the country..." He sighed and shook his head. "Go on back to your room, now. I need some rest."

Regulus nodded and stepped out of his father's study, his mind racing with possibilities.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Okay, if you're not sure what's up with the locket, you should probably go back and read the last book (kidding!). No secret _that_ is the Horcrux. And this is the third appearance, but now it's more obvious at least. :) Anyways, I hope that you're enjoying the story and don't forget to leave some thoughts in the little review box. Thanks! :) –Jenna**


	75. Goodbye Nineteen–Seventy–Eight

**Chapter 75: Goodbye Nineteen-Seventy-Eight**

**.**

_**Dec 28, 1978 - Dear Regulus,  
**__Meet me at Queenie's Bakery at eight before the party. It's just down the street from my house, you would have passed it when you came to see me before. Small building, red roof, there's a sign out front with coffee prices on it. You can Side-Along me to your cousin's house. Just don't mention it to anyone, strictly speaking, I'm not allowed around your family. Dad says it isn't good for his career for me to be going about with suspected you know whats and such. Hope that your Christmas was great. You can tell me all about it when we meet up. I've missed you. ** - With Love and Truth, Barty**_

* * *

Small building. Red roof. Coffee sign out front. The words _Queenie's Treats_ written in elegant font above the door to the small bakery and coffee shop. Regulus was sure he was at the right place. He checked his watch and frowned as it was now exactly four minutes after eight o'clock. He'd never felt so impatient in his life. The boy started pacing up and down the pavement in front of the tiny shop, earning himself a few strange glances from passers-by. A few of them pointed and whispered and gawked at his dress robes. Regulus just frowned at them. Muggles really had no fashion sense.

It was fifteen after when the overly coiffed Bartemius finally appeared. His lips were pulled into an innocent smile, his eyes wide and excited. "Sorry, I'm late. Mum was trying to get me not to go."

"You told her where you were going?"

"Not exactly," he answered as he led Regulus down the alley beside the bakery. "Just told her I was going out with you. She worries, you know? Thinks that you'll lead me down the wrong path, corrupt me. She doesn't exactly approve of our relationship."

Regulus pulled the blonde to a stop and widened his eyes. "You told your mother that we're...together?"

Bartemius smiled and gave a small nod. "She suspected already. Seems I have a bit of a talking habit. She said I talked about you way too much to just be a mate. So I went ahead and told her." He shrugged and slipped his hand into Regulus'. "She won't tell anyone."

"Well, while we're on _that_ subject, you should know that someone else knows about us." Regulus pulled the younger boy closer and wrapped his arm around his waist. "He spotted one of your letters and started asking questions." Panic flushed over Bartemius' face and Regulus gave him a quick kiss to quell it. "It's fine. We're fine."

"You're sure?"

"I'm very sure," he whispered. Regulus closed his eyes and concentrated on his cousin's manor. "Hold on and don't try to fight it, okay? I don't wanna hurt either of us doing this." When he felt Bartemius relax into his embrace, he held his breath and Disapparated them both.

The movement made Regulus feel sick to his stomach, but Bartemius seemed completely un-phased by it. His brown eyes were locked on the manor, taking in its grandeur. "This place is amazing."

"Yeah, it's alright," Regulus muttered, adjusting his robes. "Just stay close to me, please. I don't want people thinking you're some kind of spy or anything." He fell silent as an older couple, both dressed to the top, passed by them to head inside. Once the two were out of sight, he stole a kiss and pulled Bartemius into Lestrange Manor by the sleeve of his robe.

"This place is amazing," Bartemius repeated upon seeing the inside.

The entire ballroom was lined in white roses and the floor shined with specks of silver. Soft violin music could be heard just above the dull murmurs of all the guests. Everyone was dressed in their very best, holding flutes of champagne, eating tiny hors-d'œuvre and wearing overly cheerful smiles.

Regulus plucked two glasses of champagne from a tray as a house-elf passed by holding it. He pressed one glass into Bartemius' hand and clinked them together toast-style. "To the New Year?"

"You know I don't drink this stuff."

"You do tonight." Regulus grinned and eyed the boy's glass until he sighed and took a sip. "See, it isn't that bad." He took a sip of his own and put his hand on the blonde's elbow, ushering him to the side of the room and out of the bulk of the gathered guests. "I'm really glad you're here," he whispered once they were clear of everyone.

Bartemius smiled wide and met the other boy's eyes. "You mean that?"

"I do. I really do." He took another drink before quickly adding, "I'm going to miss you."

"Miss...me?" The smile didn't leave the boy's face, but his eyes sank with worry. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean..." Regulus tilted his head and stared out into the crowd, trying to think of the best way to tell Bartemius that his failure meant he wouldn't be going back to school after the holiday. "Maybe we should just talk about it later."

Bartemius would have argued if they hadn't been interrupted by Bellatrix and husband, Rodolphus. The woman cast a cheery, fake smile down on both boys and laid her hand upon Regulus' shoulder. "Might I have a word?" she whispered, her tone clear that it wasn't a question.

"I should really -" he tried, pointing towards Bartemius.

"He'll be fine. See?" She nodded towards Rodolphus as the man began talking to the young blonde boy, showing him something in his hands that Regulus couldn't see from where he stood. Bellatrix pulled her cousin aside and allowed her put-on smile to drop. "You're mental bringing him here. Little Ministry boy like that, some of the people here would skin him alive rather than have him report back to his father."

"He wouldn't do that." Regulus jerked his shoulder from her tight grip and stepped away. "And no one is going to do a damn thing to him. The Dark Lord, himself, isn't worried about him being here so you shouldn't be either."

Bellatrix bristled at the comment and pursed her lips. "If he does anything out of line -"

"He won't." Regulus fought back the desire to smile at the scowl his interruption put on Bellatrix's face. He was getting rather fond of how indignant she grew when he talked back to her. It didn't matter how many times she raised her wand against him, he was never going to give her the satisfaction of putting fear in his heart again. "Now, if you'll excuse me." The boy walked off without waiting for an answer, and stepped in between Bartemius and Rodolphus. "Come on, there's something I want to show you."

Regulus led the younger boy out of the ballroom and down the hall where guests could make their way to the gardens. Rather than continue on outside, he darted up the stairs, away from the mull of conversation and music. "In here," he whispered as he opened up one of the doors he knew to be a guest bedroom.

Bartemius pulled out his wand and lit the tip when Regulus closed the door behind them.

"Tsk tsk," Regulus teased. "You wouldn't be doing underage magic, now would you?" He grinned and took the champagne glass from the other boy, setting it and his own on the near-by dressing table. "I'm shocked at you, Barty."

"Yes, I'm a regular criminal with my _Lumos_ charm," the boy laughed. "I can turn it off if you'd rather have me in the dark." He grinned and put his free hand on Regulus' chest, stepping closer to the boy. "Why'd you bring me up here?"

"No reason really." Regulus' arms snaked around the younger boy and pulled him closer. "I just wanted to be alone for a while. Feels like I haven't seen you in weeks."

"Yeah?" A slight red, barely noticeable by wand-light, rose in Bartemius' cheeks. He chewed on his bottom lip, trying to hold back an ever growing smile. "You must have _really _missed me."

"I did." Regulus nodded and leaned closer, his lips brushing against the other boy's. His hand rested against the blonde's lower back while he kissed him tenderly.

Bartemius' arms moved around the older boy's neck, pulling himself closer. The light on his wand snuffed out, casting a pitch darkness around them. They weren't in the dark for more than a moment before the door to the bedroom opened, shining the harsh lights off the hallway over them both. The two boys moved apart, but it wasn't hurried or fearful.

"I thought I saw you come up here." Will Mulciber folded his arms and leaned casually against the door-frame. His light brown eyes swept over Bartemius judgmentally; his lips pulled back into a semblance of a sneer. The young man licked his lips and arranged his face with as much dignity as possible. "The Dark Lord wants to see you."

Regulus stepped forward, one arm still wrapped around Bartemius' waist. Will put up his hand and shook his head. "Not you," he said with much amusement in his tone. "Him." He pointed towards the blonde and tilted his head, giving Regulus a smug grin.

"Wait...what?" Regulus looked between Will and Bartemius, his eyes wide. "Why?"

"I didn't ask."

"He wants to see _me_?" Bartemius' hand flew to his mouth and he began biting at the ends of his nails. "I don't know if I'm ready. Did he seems angry?" He turned to Regulus and whined softly when the boy pulled his fingers from his mouth. "What if I'm in trouble?"

"You're not in trouble," Regulus insisted, pining the younger boy's hands to his sides to keep him from biting again. "Just relax, don't speak unless you're directly asked to and be yourself." He put on the most fake smile he could manage and squeezed Bartemius' shoulders. "You'll be just fine."

The blonde nodded and started from the door, only stopping to rush back for a good-luck kiss before heading off down the staircase with Will. Regulus stood in the doorway, watching the space where Bartemius had vanished from for a few minutes. The boy let out a shaky breath and dropped the feigned excitement from his face.

"What's he want with Barty?" he muttered to himself as he walked back into the bedroom to collect the forgotten champagne glasses. The boy finished off his own, as well as Bartemius', drink and started back towards the ballroom.

He mingled for a while: being polite and charming and everything he was groomed to be as an upstanding member of the Black household. After an hour, he couldn't take it anymore. The closeness of the guests was getting to be too much, especially the women who liked to speak a few inches from his face and hold onto his hand the entire time. Regulus kindly excused himself and crept out back into the gardens behind the manor. He was enjoying the peacefulness of the night and the fresh air. He didn't even hear someone walk up behind him.

"Nice night, isn't it?" Will's voice brought a frown to Regulus' face. "Seems like only yesterday we were out here ushering in nineteen-seventy-eight and now here we are...seeing it off." He tapped his fingertip into the side of his champagne glass and sighed.

"You were bragging about how wonderful Universal Brooms was going to be," Regulus mused, only a tiny bit of spite in his words. "And introducing me to dearest _Nadya_."

"And _you_ were cuddling up with your fiancé."

"Don't remind me."

"Regulus..." Will pressed his lips together tightly and stepped closer to his former friend. "We can go back to that, you know? The way we used to be. We were _friends_ before all of this...political nonsense got in the way. Before Nadya, before Sarah, before the -"

"Before Topher was murdered." Regulus swallowed hard and looked up at Will. "You have it all wrong, because _we_ were never friends. I put up with you because your brother was my best mate and you put up with me, because you thought I could get you ahead in life." He held up his hand when Will opened his mouth to speak. "Don't. Just...just don't. I want you to stay the hell away from me."

Will's face twisted in anger, but he had nothing to say. He merely watched in silence as Regulus walked away and never looked back.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: It actually hurts a little to see 1978 ending because 1979 is the year of Regulus' death. The moment is getting closer and it's so sad. :( The next chapter picks up from here and we see the new year begin for Regulus, Bartemius and the others. Thanks for reading! –Jenna**


	76. The Beginning of the End

**Chapter 76: The Beginning of the End**

**.**

"Regulus, where were you?"

At the sound of his name, Regulus turned around and offered a small smile to the approaching Bartemius. "Just stepped outside for a bit of air. Was getting a bit stuffy in here," he answered, giving a nod in the direction he'd just come from. He didn't mention Will's little interruption.

"Feeling better?" Bartemius followed the older boy to the edge of the ballroom where the two accepted new glasses of champagne for the upcoming New Year's toast.

"Yes, I am. Curious to know what happened with you though." Regulus forced himself to sound only mildly interested, but inside, his heart was pounding and his stomach was in knots wanting to know what the Dark Lord had to say to Bartemius.

The blonde cast a knowing smile on Regulus and sipped his drink. "I'll tell you everything after the party. We'll get some tea and talk."

Regulus nodded and put on a happy face for Bartemius' sake. The wait was agony. All through the New Year's toast, the countdown, the celebratory kissing and dancing, the winding down of the event and finally the goodbyes, the boy only had one thing on his mind.

The more possibilities he considered, the worse they became. Did Voldemort merely want to see for himself if Regulus' claims on Bartemius' views were true? Or was it something much, much more?

"Come on, let's get going," Bartemius whispered as he slipped his hand into Regulus'. "Are you alright to Apparate?"

Regulus nodded. "I've only had two glasses and that was hours ago." He checked his watch just to be sure; the small hand was approaching the three and he hadn't taken a drink since after the countdown. "Should I take you back home?"

"No, back to the bakery. It's open all night so we can talk there."

"In a Muggle place?"

Bartemius looked amused. "Yes, in a Muggle place. Just because I hate them doesn't mean they can't make a proper tea." He pulled himself close to the older boy and relaxed against him.

In a moment, the two were back in the alley way beside Queenie's bakery. As they headed inside, several passers-by shot them looks of pure contempt that Regulus didn't understand at first. It wasn't until he realized he was still clutching Bartemius' hand that it dawned on him. He'd become so comfortable with the boy, so used to his affection, that it was starting to go without phasing him.

Quickly, he pulled his hand from the blonde's grip and shot him an apologetic smile. "Not in the mood to deal with any Muggle police," he muttered, but the other boy didn't seem to care for his reasons. He watched helplessly as Bartemius paid for their tea, having only Wizard money on himself. "You carry Muggle money, you go to Muggle shops, very suspicious, Barty." Regulus was only half teasing.

"I live in a Muggle neighborhood, Regulus. We do what we have to in order to get by." Bartemius sipped his tea and added, "For now."

"Alright, enough of this. Are you going to tell me what happened tonight?" Regulus spoke low. He doubted that the others in the small shop would understand what they were saying, but he'd been too trusting in the past with just assuming other people weren't listening in.

Bartemius grinned and scooted closer, though not close enough to rouse suspicion from the other patrons. "He wants me to be his new eyes in Hogwarts. Report back on how things are running, keep tabs on the Headmaster. Since you can't go back..." The boy made a feeble attempt at hiding the distress on his face. "They told me what happened. Did you really have to fight Potter and your brother?"

Regulus scoffed at the idea and shook his head. "There was no fight. If there was a fight, I wouldn't have been caught. Potter was under a cloak. I didn't have a chance."

"Oh." He sipped at his tea again and stared off into the distance. "I knew I'd be alone next year, but I wasn't prepared for it to be this soon." The blonde shifted in his seat and pulled himself together, reassuming that usual hint of smugness that he carried. "He says that if I do well, he may be able to find a place for me."

He didn't have to ask what Bartemius meant. Visions of the boy going through what he did flooded into Regulus' mind. The thought of Bartemius laying on a dirty floor, broken and weak, made him shudder. Imagining the blonde with his wand held to someone's chest, preparing to kill them, it was almost too much. Bile rose in his throat and Regulus pushed away his tea.

"I have to go," the boy choked out. "I can't...I can't do this right now. I _can't_ talk about this right now."

"Regulus please don't be mad at me. I know that you probably think I've stolen your place, but it isn't like that. I'm not trying to oust you."

The young Black widened his eyes at Bartemius. The other boy, in all his vast intelligence, thought that the problem was _jealousy_. He thought that Regulus was afraid of losing favor and being made a fool of. And what could Regulus say to argue? He couldn't tell the other boy that he was having doubts about serving the Dark Lord, that he was having regrets and guilt over the things he'd done. He couldn't tell Bartemius any of that, so he just got to his feet and took a fleeting glance at the boy. "I know. It isn't your fault, it's mine. I should have done better and...I'm happy for you." He wanted to be sick.

"You don't have to go," the blonde pleaded.

"I do. It's late and I'm actually kind of tired. But I want to see you again before you go back to school. Promise me you'll come over before you leave?"

Bartemius nodded and they exchanged goodbye smiles.

Regulus walked home rather than Apparate. The cold air was soothing. It didn't matter that his fingers were stiff and aching beneath the leather of his gloves or that his feet were sore from a night full of standing and yes, even dancing. There was something about the still of the world around him. Only half after three in the morning, the sun had not even begun to rise. The street lamps all hummed their almost unnoticeable tune and the snow crunched beneath his shoes.

And then he heard it. That haunting voice in the back of his mind. That ever-constant reminder of his past evils. The unmistakable voice that could only belong to Anthony. "So that's it then? You're just going to walk off and let him join up? Let _him_ turn into what you did?"

Regulus closed his eyes and fought off the urge to curse. He'd learned already that shouting at a voice only he could hear would just bring about those curious and worried eyes from anyone who caught him. He hated that he'd become so familiar with the entire thing. He hated that Anthony's taunting voice had pushed its way into his head so much it no longer gave him pause. "I'm not letting him do anything. I'm not his mother," he hissed under his breath.

"But you could stop him. You could tell him how you really feel about all of this and he would back away."

"Maybe." Regulus rubbed at his temples as he neared his house. "Or maybe, he'd turn me over as some kind of traitor and I'd end up like -"

"Topher? Elizabeth? ...me?"

"Dead. Yes, I'd end up dead." The boy gritted his teeth and tried to keep his breathing, and temper, even. "I don't know what to do. I don't think there's anything I _can_ do. But I know that being killed won't do anyone any good whatsoever. Especially me."

Regulus unlocked his front door to the sound of screaming. He cringed as he stepped into the house and closed the door in complete silence so as to not draw attention to himself.

"Don't you dare lie to me Orion!" Walburga's shrieking was unmistakable. "I heard it straight from that disgusting little goblin. He said you were there last evening. I want to know why!"

"I told you already." The sound of a decanter clinking against a glass followed Orion's answer. "I wanted to -"

"You're lying! The goblin said you didn't touch our vault. He said you were on a higher floor."

Regulus kicked off his shoes and took them in hand so he wouldn't be heard walking. He eased himself up the staircase and peeked over the edge. His father, as he suspected, was sipping at a glass of scotch and leaning upon the fireplace mantle. Walburga flitted around the living room behind him, her hands clenched at her sides. Thy were both still dressed in their finest from the party.

"Ruddy goblins," Orion muttered. "Those are private matters. The creature had no right!"

"Rights? You want to discuss rights? How about a wife's right to know what her husband is doing at the bank! What about _my_ right to know where our money's been vanishing off to?"

"Wal-"

"Or the right to know why you have a new wand!"

Orion put his hand over the robe pocket where he kept his wand. "You-?"

"You think I wouldn't notice? I've known you since I was four years old, Orion. I was _there_ when you first got that wand. You think I wouldn't notice that you have a new one!"

"My old one was damaged, Walburga. Your suspicions are getting out of hand."

Regulus couldn't listen to another word. He hurried up the staircase, the faint sounds of his padding feet being drowned out by his mother's argument. He'd never heard his father lie before. Not outright. His hand sought the wand in question the moment he reached his room. Twelve and three-quarters inches, the passed-on wand was a good deal longer than his old had been. At first, he'd been afraid that the unyielding composite of elm wood and dragon heartstring wouldn't bend to him the way his old wand had. But the boy formed an almost instant bond with his father's wand.

It was a treacherous wand: used to enhance the protection charms that surrounded their home. Perhaps the wand sensed a familiar heart inside him, after all, he'd become as treacherous in thought as his father had.

Thinking of his father, and the man's alleged trip to the bank, Regulus knew what he had to do. It was what Orion had wanted. It was the reason the man had prepared him gold, the reason he'd handed over his wand. _And if you wanted to leave the country..._ His father's distant suggestion still weighed in the boy's mind. What if he did? What if he picked up and left? He wouldn't be as foolish as to write home like Elizabeth had. And surely, if not for her misguided trust in her brother, the two would have been able to stay hidden for a good many years.

Regulus knew what he had to do. He cast one quick glance at his emptied school trunk and made a silent vow to begin packing in the morning. He would take what he could fit inside, stop by the bank, then be on his way for good.

But in the back of his mind, the taunt rang out. "So you're just going to run away? Tell me, Regulus, when did you become such a sniveling coward?"

* * *

**A Note From the Author: So...yes. Things are on the wind down. Regulus has decided that he's going to pack his bags and run away. How far do you think he'll make it? And what keeps him from leaving? And what exactly was Orion doing at the bank on New Years Eve? All this and more: answered in Chapter 77. :) -Jenna**


	77. We Can Run Away

**Chapter 77: We Could Run Away**

**.**

Regulus did not sleep that night. Between the anticipation for the morning's task and the patronizing voice in the back of his mind, he found no rest. The moment the sun peeked into his room from the split in his curtain, the boy crawled out of bed and began to pack. A few changes of clothes, his toiletries, some basic potion ingredients, a collection of first aide supplies, some quills, a few ink pots and a package of parchment all went into the trunk. As did his copy of _Macbeth_, tucked at the bottom of the trunk and wrapped in a bit of cloth.

"I'm surprised you still hang on to that book."

Regulus held his breath and rubbed at his head, trying his hardest to will Anthony's voice out of his mind. It was so loud. And every time the voice came to him, it was louder.

"Then again, you probably feel connected to it. Hell, you're practically living it."

"Shut up, shut up!" the boy shouted as he slammed his trunk lid closed and began to change from his night clothes into his travel wear.

"Oh, it's true though. I'm just waiting for you to fall on your knees and start shouting _Out damned spot_!_ Out, I say_! Would be rather...poetic."

"That's enough." Regulus clenched his hands into fists and tried to calm himself as his entire body began to shake. "I am leaving to get rid of you! When I'm gone away from this damn house, away from this damn life, then you will be gone for good!" He let out a distressed scream and slammed his hands against the top of his desk.

A tiny knock echoed through the room and the door creaked open just enough for Kreacher to poke his head in. "M-master Regulus..." the elf whispered, looking up at the boy with wide, worried eyes. "You have a visitor, Sir." The house-elf ducked his head low and stepped into the room a bit more. He wrung his hands together and started to speak twice before finally muttering, "Kreacher can tell him to come back when you're feeling...better."

"No, I'm fine." Regulus straightened himself out and adjusted his robes. "He who? Who's here?"

"Mister Crouch, Sir," the elf's eyes scanned the room quickly, but it was enough for Regulus to get an idea of what he was doing. "Are you sure you'd like company?"

"I said I'm fine," Regulus snapped. He shot the elf a glare so angry, Kreacher recoiled. "Send him up."

The house-elf did not argue any further. He vanished from the door and a few moments later, Bartemius took his place. Regulus closed the door behind the blonde and smiled.

"I said I'd come see you before I went back," Bartemius said with a smirk.

Regulus laughed quietly and ran his fingers through his hair, frowning that he hadn't had a chance to comb it yet. "I didn't think you'd be here so early. Did you even sleep last night?"

"Did you?" Bartemius countered. "You look like hell."

"Wonderful to see you too." The older boy turned his back on the other and shook his head.

The blonde just laughed and put his arms around Regulus' waist. "Don't be so sensitive. You know that I lo- What's that?" The boy's tone changed and his arms fell away. He knelt on the floor next to Regulus' packed trunk and tugged at a robe sleeve poking from the seam of it. Before Regulus could stop him, he pushed open the trunk.

"Barty, don't," Regulus tried, but it was too late. Bartemius was staring up at him with a mix of shock and anger written across his face. "It's not what you think."

"It's not what I think?" Bartemius got to his feet and folded his arms over his chest. "So you don't have a full trunk sitting in your room? You're not about to go somewhere?"

"Okay...it is what you think but I can explain."

"Oh can you? Because it looks like you're about to do something really stupid."

"I...maybe I am." Regulus took a seat on the edge of his bed and hung his head. "I'm lost, Barty. I don't know what to do anymore and I feel like I'm losing my damn mind. Everything -" he choked on his words and took a shaky breath. "Everything is just so difficult right now."

"Things are hard so you're going to run away?" Bartemius threw himself on the bed next to the other boy and scrunched his face. "You're just going to leave?"

"I have to."

"No, you don't _have_ to!" The blonde grabbed at his hair in frustration, only to become more upset at what he'd just done to his perfected strands. "Don't I matter to you at all?"

"This isn't about you!"

"No, it's about _you_. Like it always fucking is. Everything is always about you and your problems and your quirks and your damn...guilt!"

"I'm...sorry. I'm sorry that I'm such a bother to you, but -"

"Don't. Don't you dare try and turn this around like that." Bartemius flopped back on the bed and put his hands over his face. "I can't believe that you're just going to leave like this. Were you even going to tell me?"

Regulus shook his head, but Bartemius couldn't see him. "I just need to get away from here."

"I know." Bartemius let his hands fall to the bed beside him and gave the older boy a pained look. "I had a feeling something like this might happen. Once you started..." He pointed to his ear and looked away. "I can help you, you know? I can make it go away. We can find something to help. Some way to...get rid of the hallucinations."

"It isn't a hallucination."

"So then you think you're actually hearing his voice?" The blonde sat up and grabbed Regulus' robes.

The boy laid his hands over Bartemius' and shook his head. "No. I don't mean it like that. I just don't like that word. I'm not going mental. There's nothing wrong with me!"

"I never said there was." Bartemius pulled the other boy closer and slipped his arms around his neck. "You'll be branded a traitor if you leave, Regulus. They won't let you just run away. You have to know that." His arms tightened.

"I'll be fine. I'm smart enough to get by without being found."

Bartemius' body tensed as he held on to the older boy. "I don't want you to leave. I love you."

"I love you too," Regulus whispered. His eyes widened at his own words. He hadn't meant to even say them, they certainly weren't on the front of his mind. But as unexpected as the affection had been, it didn't feel wrong. He didn't feel guilty or sick in saying it. He didn't want to take it back. The boy pulled Bartemius closer and closed his eyes.

"Do you mean that?" His words were full of hesitation and no one could blame him.

"Yes." Regulus found the answer without a second thought. "You could come too," he whispered. He pulled back from the blonde and laid his hands on the boy's neck. His eyes met the teary brown of the other boy's and a small smile crossed his lips. "Come with me. You don't need to finish school, you're bloody brilliant as it is. No more being alone. You can get away from all of this."

"Regulus...I can't just...leave."

"Why not? What's holding you here?"

The boy stuck his fingertips into his mouth and started biting at his fingernails. He stood up and looked down at Regulus' packed trunk. It seemed like ages that Bartemius stood there, in perfect silence, staring at the mess of clothes and supplies. "Nothing." He turned back towards the older boy and held out his hands. "Nothing's keeping me here."

"Then come with me," Regulus pleaded. He took the boy by the hands and stared up at him. "You and me. We can leave and never look back."

"Okay."

"O...kay? Okay as in you'll come with me?"

"I'll come with you," Bartemius answered. He laid his hands on Regulus' neck and peered down at him with a slight pity in his eyes. "I really do love you, Regulus. And I would never do anything to hurt you. I just want you to be safe and happy. If that means...doing this, then so be it."

Regulus' lips tugged into a wide smile and he pulled the younger boy into his lap. "I promise we'll be alright."

"I know," he whispered. "I don't have a lot of money. Not of my own."

"It's alright. I have plenty. I was going to the bank soon."

Bartemius nodded and pressed his lips to the other boy's. After a long, slow kiss, he pulled away and smiled. "I'll go home and pack. You go to the bank. Where should we meet up?"

Regulus let out a relieved laugh and hugged his arms around the boy. "We'll meet at the train station."

A time was agreed upon and the two said their temporary goodbyes. Regulus was nervous, and terrified, about Bartemius coming along with him, but deep down he felt relieved. The only thing even remotely holding him back, giving him a reason to stay, wasn't a problem any longer. He knew that he was being selfish, asking the other boy to give up his life just to go on the run and be in possible danger, but he couldn't stop himself from wanting it.

The goblins were not thrilled to see Regulus so early in the morning. He was waiting at the doors the moment the bank opened. His vault was on one of the newest floors and took barely any time to reach. As promised, just a little over eight-hundred Galleons rested on the floor in a pile of gold, silver and bronze. The assisting goblin muttered in protest when he told him that he wanted to withdraw every last piece. He grumbled even louder when Regulus added that he wanted it all converted into Muggle money as well.

"What of the book?" the goblin hissed, pointing a long, crooked finger at the far corner of the vault.

"Book?" Regulus stepped into the dimly lit vault and raised his wand to light his way. It would have been easy to miss had the goblin not pointed it out. It was a thick, leather bound book with a band wrapped around it. The cover looked battered and pages of torn and crinkled paper hung out of every side. The boy lifted the book into his hands and turned it over, checking the entirety of it.

The initials _O.L.B._ were embossed onto the back cover. "My father...?" Regulus pursed his lips and started to remove the band around the book, but the goblin at the door caught his attention with a rather loud and rude cough. "Right. I'm coming." The boy stuffed the book inside his robes and followed the goblin back to the cart. He would have to look at the book later, perhaps on the train.

With Muggle money filling his wallet and his father's book tucked into the bottom of his trunk, Regulus was ready to go. He arrived at the train station precisely at eleven o'clock just as he and Bartemius had agreed. He spotted the blonde instantly and hurried over to him.

"I was afraid you weren't going to show up," Regulus told him.

"I was hoping that you wouldn't." Bartemius dropped his face to the ground and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Regulus. I'm so sorry. It's for the best though."

"What are you talking about?" Regulus didn't have to wait long for his answer.

In an instant, Bellatrix was standing over him, her hand laying on Bartemius' shoulder. "You did the right thing, Crouch."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Oh the betrayal. So Regulus is caught and Bartemius has betrayed him to the Dark Lord. Meanwhile, he's got himself a nice new book full of...you'll see. Thank you for reading and don't be shy to leave a few thoughts! :) –Jenna**

"**Out damned spot! Out I say!" Lady Macbeth – Act 5, Scene 1**


	78. Horcrux

**A beginning note in order to clarify something: There are bits of journal entries in this chapter. Inside the entries I have used a […] technique. […] Indicates a portion of the entry has been removed for reading purposes. Meaning that there is more there, but it is not needed for the story and is mostly musings from Orion. Now, on with the chapter...**

**Chapter 78: Horcrux**

**.**

_Betrayal_! Regulus couldn't get the word out of his head. He hadn't the mind to speak to Bartemius at the station and by the time the three arrived back at Regulus' home, he didn't want to. Despite the blonde's pleas that he did it for Regulus' own good, the young Black wanted nothing to do with him any longer. Bartemius was escorted from number 12 Grimmauld Place by Kreacher; his protests carried all the way to Regulus' bedroom.

"He was just trying to help you," Bellatrix cooed as she flicked her wand and sent Regulus' trunk slamming to his floor. "It's better this way. If you'd actually left the country, you would have been killed for your betrayal."

"Are you saying I won't be now?" Regulus looked up at his cousin, their almost identical grey eyes mirroring a mutual hatred.

"No." The words dropped from Bellatrix's tongue like a lead weight. She sneered at the boy and smoothed back her hair. "You'll be punished, but the Dark Lord seems to think that you are suffering from some kind of...delusions."

Regulus scowled and put his hand on the edge of his bedroom door. "Get out."

Bellatrix gasped at his audacity and swept from the room, her muttered cursing and threats following her all the way to the staircase and down into the entryway. The boy slammed his door closed and knelt before his trunk. He dug out his father's book, sat on the floor and leaned his back against the door in order to ensure there would be no unexpected interruptions.

Orion Black was not the type to keep a diary or journal, so Regulus had no misgivings that he'd find a day to day account of his father's life inside the pages. He quickly flipped through it for a general idea. His father's handwriting covered most of the pages; it was messy and frantic and in some parts the writing shimmered from alteration charms. Amidst his father's writing, were scraps of other books. Folded spells were shoved into the binding and ripped out portions of text were taped onto pages with annotations beside them.

Regulus was confused as to why his father would hand over the mess of a journal. But he knew that if the book was in the vault, then Orion wanted him to have it for a reason. So the boy turned to the first page and began reading. It was dated _November 13, 1976_.

**It seems that my worst fear has come to light today.  
****Regulus has been chosen in place of his brother. When  
****Sirius left, I knew this would happen, but I held out hope  
****that my youngest would prove useless to the Dark Lord.  
****He came to our home this morning, treated us as though  
****we should be proud of our son's future. Naturally, I agreed.  
****It's too soon to make any waves.  
****I still don't have the answers I need.**

Regulus widened his eyes at the words before him. He remembered that year. Bellatrix had given him the news over his Christmas Holiday. He was so excited then... The boy shook away the memories and turned his attention back to his father's writing. Some of it was so boring, Regulus found his eyes growing heavy with the effort. It all seemed so useless. His father was looking for something, that much he was sure of, and scattered through his seemingly endless research were occasional mentions of his sons.

Regulus never realized before how his father felt about Sirius. He couldn't help but feel a disconnection, seeing the man's words claim love of his eldest while his actions had never once reflected such feelings. He tried not to dwell on it. Sirius was in the past and nothing could repair the rift that lay between him and their family. Especially after what Regulus had done.

Another entry was dated _August 22, 1977_.

**I came across an old journal today. Sometimes  
****Muggles don't know what treasures they hold.  
****It was mixed in with some historical journals in an  
****old bookshop. I could tell there were concealment  
****charms on it the moment I picked it up. The old teller  
****in the shop thought it rubbish. I paid two Galleons  
****worth of Muggle money for the journal and it's been  
****worth its weight in gold.[…]She gives details of watching  
****her neighbor sneak into the woods under a bright moon.  
****The ritual she described was horrific.  
****How a young woman ever stood by and watched  
****such disgusting acts of magic, I cannot imagine.  
****A stronger soul than I could ever hope to be.**

There were torn out pages of another book attached to the back of the entry. The writing was delicate and frail. Regulus assumed it to be the pages in which his father had referenced. He did not read them. Anything that Orion would deem horrific and disgusting was not something he wanted added onto his already weighted mind.

The discovery of the journal brought a new fervor to his father's entries. The man was excited, but still frantically searching for answers. He chronicled accounts of others performing the same ritual, some of whom did not survive the process. But Regulus was still lost as to what the ritual was or why it was being used. Finally, an entry dated _February 7, 1978_ held his answers.

**All doubts have been erased. I am sure of what I  
****originally suspected. This ritual, in all its disgusting  
****and dangerous nature, is the answer to immortality.  
****The trinkets they carry for the ritual are the key  
****to it all. The Dark Lord's assertion that he could rule  
****for years beyond ours was not a false claim.  
****He has performed this ritual. I believe that with all I possess.**

Regulus nearly dropped the journal when he read those words. He laid it down as carefully as he could, not wanting to lose his page, and put his hands over his face. Everything was starting to make sense and he felt stupid for not seeing it before. A quick glance at the clock sent his heart racing; he'd been lost in the book for over six hours without realizing it. His stomach growled on cue and as much as he wanted to ignore it, he needed a break before continuing on.

The boy wrapped and hid his father's journal at the bottom of his sock drawer, then crept downstairs for some food. The house was oddly silent considering the hour. He wondered where his parents were. Halfway to the kitchen, a sinking dread filled his stomach.

"Kreacher!"

The house-elf scurried into the room, his eyes wide over Regulus' panicked tone.

"Where are my parents?" he demanded before Kreacher could speak.

"They have gone to dinner, Sir."

"You're certain?"

"Y-yes, Sir." Kreacher took a tentative step towards the boy and looked up at him with concern. "Are you alright, Master Regulus? Shall Kreacher get you some tea?"

"I'm fine. But I would like some tea," Regulus answered. "And some dinner." He followed the house-elf into the kitchen and took his proper place at the table. Kreacher provided a nice plate of chicken with rice and Regulus ate it with a ravishing hunger he didn't realize he had. He was offered a second plate, but the boy wisely declined. Eating too much would simply leave him feeling ill.

"Mister Crouch has been to the door twice since I removed him," Kreacher told the boy as he cleared away his plate.

Regulus frowned. "If he comes back again, use your magic and throw him from the yard."

"What if there are Muggles around?" the elf asked.

"Do it anyways. I don't want him near this house."

The house-elf nodded dutifully and provided Regulus another cup of tea to take to his room.

"Call up when my parents get home," the boy added before heading back upstairs to resume his reading.

He placed his tea on the desk and pulled the journal back out of his drawer. He felt nervous as he took a seat at his large desk and pulled the book back open to where he'd left off. The tone of Orion's writing changed drastically after his realization. Rather than spending his time looking for how, he was then focused on what. What had the Dark Lord used to seal his ritual? What would it take to undo the dark magic? It wasn't until _June 21, 1978_ that the trinket was given a name.

**Today I came upon a spell book that made my skin crawl.  
****I've never seen such cruel acts in all my years.  
****To think that some wizards would do this to one another,  
****it's no wonder we are constantly finding ourselves in the  
****midst of wars. I almost could not finish the book[...]but I've  
****found it. The details of the immortality ritual.  
****It isn't so much a ritual as a severing of your soul.  
****I didn't realize that it was possible to tear your soul,  
****but after what I've read, it does not surprise me.[...]The  
****trinket is used to hold the shattered soul. It is called a Horcrux.  
****Now, I must find what the Dark Lord is using as his Horcrux.  
****Means of destruction still evade me, but I will not give up.**

Regulus felt the blood drain from his face and his hands felt weak. He rubbed roughly at his eyes and drained his entire tea with one drink to calm his nerves. "I can't do this," he whispered to himself. "Why would he give me this?" His voice was more shaky than he'd have liked. He hadn't felt that powerless in a long time."I don't know what you want from me!" he shouted, pushing the book away from himself and looking away from it.

But that was a lie. Regulus understood exactly why his father had handed over the journal. He expected his son to carry on with the tasks he'd set for himself. What Regulus didn't understand was why _now_. Why hadn't his father come to him in person with all of the information? Why would the man pass it along in such a fashion? He vowed to confront the man about the journal when he arrived home from dinner that night. He would get his answers.

The young Black took a deep breath and pulled the book back over to himself. He was nearing the end and it was best to finish before the night was out. The rest of Orion's journal faded into hopelessness. As hard as he tried, the man could not find any mention of a Horcrux being destroyed. Nor could he fashion a guess at what the Dark Lord had used for his own.

On the final page of Orion's journal, Regulus got the exact answers he had wanted. It was dated _December 31, 1978_.

**I cannot go on. My tries have all been in vain and  
****I have no confidence that I will ever discover how to  
****destroy a Horcrux. As for the Dark Lord's choice of  
****one, I shall never know. He's kept himself at such a  
****distance from the family as of late.  
****Perhaps he's sensing the disloyalty amongst us all.  
****Even Walburga has voiced her doubts on this very  
****afternoon. She will never change her views, but I  
****believe she is starting to see that the ends do not justify  
****the means.[...]It all lies with Regulus now.  
****My heart is too weak to continue this search.**

Regulus closed the ended journal and sat back in his chair. He had been right; his father expected him to find and destroy the Dark Lord's Horcrux. He couldn't help but laugh at the very idea. He was a boy and his power would never come close to matching Voldemort's. Orion was a fool to think that Regulus could do anything of the sort. "How would I know what he's even using?" he asked the book.

"But you _do_ know," that familiar voice rang out inside his mind.

Regulus shivered at Anthony's words and shook his head. "I don't know."

"Yes. You do," the voice insisted. But this time, it was not just a distant voice in the back of Regulus' mind. It was louder than it had ever been and more solid. And it didn't come from inside his head, but rather...beside him.

Regulus slowly turned his face towards the source of the words and nearly fell out of his chair at the sight. There was a boy. He was sixteen-years old, had dirty blonde hair and a crooked smile; his glasses sat slightly askew in front of his deep blue eyes. A Ravenclaw tie sat properly around the boy's neck and his Hogwarts school uniform was neatly pressed. Regulus hadn't seen the boy in ages, but he was unmistakable.

It was Anthony Bonham.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: This is where lots of guessing and possible anger starts to occur, I think. I encourage you to leave your theories. Is Regulus seeing things? Did he fall asleep at his desk? Is he seeing a ghost? Is Anthony really there? What do you think is going on? Anyways, thank you so much for reading and for all of the support so far! :) –Jenna**


	79. Inside a Broken Mind

**Chapter 79: Inside a Broken Mind**

**.**

Regulus was sure he'd fallen asleep at his desk. It just wasn't possible for Anthony Bonham to be sitting beside him in his bedroom. Not possible at all. But it didn't feel like a dream, not like any the boy had ever experienced. He let out a shaky breath and rubbed his hands roughly up and down his face, hoping to clear his vision of what was surely an illusion.

But Anthony remained, still smiling that knowing smile.

"What the hell's going on here?" Regulus jumped from his chair so fast it fell over behind him. He righted his chair and moved across his room, keeping his back to Anthony. "This isn't real. It's a trick. You're a trick!" he shouted, rounding back on the other boy.

"A trick?" Anthony's head tipped slightly in amusement. "Who would be tricking you?"

"Bella. The Dark Lord. My brother for all I bloody well know! I don't know who, but you are a trick." The boy's hands were shaking as he covered his face once more. "She said I'd be punished. You're my punishment, aren't you? For trying to run away."

"I'm your punishment alright, Regulus. But not from the Dark Lord. I'm not some trick."

"Well you're not fucking real!"

"I never said I was real either."

"A ghost?" Regulus whispered, taking a step back when Anthony moved towards him. "Are you a ghost?" He was almost afraid to ask. Mostly because he knew it wasn't the case. Anthony was dressed as he was the day Regulus first met him, not the day he died.

"Come now, is that a legitimate question? You know very well that I would never choose to live that way. Stretching out death until the end of time. I thought you knew me better than that, Regulus."

"Then what the hell is going on?" he demanded. He gasped as he backed into his wall, still trying to get away from the slowly advancing Ravenclaw.

The blonde stopped walking closer and folded his arms over his chest. "Isn't it obvious? You've gone over the edge. Your broken mind has taken you from paranoia, to voices, to full blown hallucinations."

"I do not have hallucinations! And I am _not_ paranoid!" Regulus shouted, his face flushing with heat.

"You don't believe that. Because if you believed that, I couldn't say it." Anthony laughed dryly and shook his head like a teacher would if he were disappointed in a student. "I'm in your mind, Regulus. I know nothing, say nothing and do nothing if you haven't thought about it already."

"You're wrong," the boy whispered, but Anthony continued to shake his head. "Fine, if you're just some...some figment of my imagination, if you're in my head, then I can make you go away!" Regulus squeezed his eyes closed so tight it hurt and tried to focus his mind on anything but Anthony. When he opened his eyes again, Anthony was gone. "I did it," he said with a relieved sigh.

"Did you really think that would work?" Anthony's voice came from right beside Regulus.

The young Black gave a startled cry and tripped over his trunk, sending him spilling into the floor with a pain-filled groan.

"You can't just poof me away Regulus. I'm not that easy to get rid of. Not as easy as say...your son."

"I have no son," Regulus spat in protest as he pushed himself back to his feet. When Anthony quirked a brow as his sole argument, the boy turned away from him. "Go into the drawing room. Do you see a name under mine on that blasted tapestry? Do you?"

"You know very well that you have to lay _claim_ to the boy before he'll show up on the tapestry."

Regulus' eyes opened wider and he slowly turned back towards Anthony. "I do know that, but...how do _you_ know that? I never told you anything about our tapestry."

"I know it because you know it. I told you, I'm just a part of you."

"No. No, I am not seeing th-" Regulus' argument was cut off by tiny knocking at his door. "Come in," he called out. He wasn't surprised to see Kreacher's ears tip into the room, followed by the elf's big, worried eyes. "Are my parents home?"

"N-no Master Regulus. Kreacher was just coming to see if you'd like some more tea." The tiny elf poked his entire head into the room and glanced around.

Regulus grabbed his empty cup from the desk and handed it over to the house-elf. "I'm finished. You can go now, Kreacher," he told him. He was both annoyed and saddened by the elf's lies. It was quite obvious that he had overheard Regulus' ranting and wanted to see who the boy was yelling at. And, since he'd just outright lied to Regulus, he would see fit to punish himself when the boy wasn't looking. "Kreacher...I want you go to your room and go to bed. Don't come out until morning," he told him, hoping that he'd spare the elf a bit of self punishment.

Kreacher bowed his head obediently and slipped from the room.

"You care for the creature." Anthony drew the boy's attention back to him. The Ravenclaw was lying on Regulus' bed, spread out from head to foot, not a single crease on the blanket beneath him.

"I care for him as much as one would care for a pet."

"It's more than that."

Regulus shrugged because like Anthony had said before, if he was saying it, Regulus was thinking it.

"Why?" Anthony sat up, the bed not shifting in the slightest with his movement. "He's filthy and cruel. He says things that you don't believe in. He hopes for a Pure world, just as the Dark Lord does."

"He hopes for what he'd told to hope for," Regulus corrected. "He loves as he is loved. He shows respect for those who respect him. He believes in what he's told to by the people who care for him."

"I understand now..." Anthony leaned closer to Regulus and made a sympathetic face at the boy. "You care for him because you _are_ him. You're a slave to the ideals you've been born into. You have always shown love to those who loved you. You respected the people who made you feel respected."

Regulus shook his head and took a seat at his desk. His fingers mindlessly traced over the edge of his father's journal. "You're wrong there. The one person who loved and respected me more than anyone else in the world was my brother. And I let him down."

"Well that's true." When the young Black shot him a malicious glare, Anthony held up his hands. "Just saying what you're already thinking."

"How do I get rid of you?" Regulus hissed at the other boy.

"I don't know."

"Because I don't know?"

"Precisely." Anthony got up and moved towards the desk, his eyes never leaving the journal under Regulus' hand. "Perhaps I'm here to help you with that. With your father's wishes. To help you find the Horcrux and destroy it."

Regulus laid his head on the desk and hummed in thought. "You said before...that I already knew where it was."

"Did I?"

"Yes. I asked how would I even know what He's using and you said...that I already know."

"Then you must already know," Anthony reasoned.

"But I don't," Regulus whispered back.

"Maybe if you just clear your mind." The blonde knelt beside the boy and laid his head over on the desk as well, their eyes meeting. "Just let your thoughts flow without directing them." The Ravenclaw smiled and seemed to relax against the desk. "You're thinking about the park down the street. And your brother. And...a dog? Polaris."

"I know what I'm thinking about. You don't have to narrate," Regulus breathed out. He could feel the corners of his eyes start to sting, but he refused to cry.

"It'll help. Use me as a pensieve; a way to sort out and comb through your own memories. Think Regulus. Think about everything you've learned. Think about your time with the Dark Lord..."

The boy closed his eyes and tried to let his mind wander without restraint. He replayed scenes of his life with the Dark Lord over and over in his head, but nothing triggered a reaction. He found himself constantly distracted and redirected to thoughts of his brother. The last time he'd seen Sirius, when he'd tried and failed to poison him, the way the Dark Lord had come into his room afterward to tell him that he'd not be returning to school.

A cold shudder ran through Regulus' body as he remembered their conversation. His muscles ached at the thoughts. The casually threatening way Voldemort had spoken to him, the sick feeling he'd gotten in his stomach when the man's locket had touched his arm –

"The locket," Anthony whispered, interrupting Regulus' thoughts.

"The locket?" Regulus sat up properly and rubbed his arm where the heavy, ancient trinket had touched him. "The locket," he repeated. "It was...it was wrong. It was cold – so cold and..."

"Alive," Anthony finished.

Regulus didn't question him. He just nodded. "The locket."

"Now you know what it is."

"But I haven't the slightest clue how to destroy it!" Regulus could feel his anger building and he wanted to rip the room apart for answers. "Just tell me! You have to know something."

"I don't know anything that you don't!" Anthony countered, his anger directly shadowing Regulus'.

"Then what good are you?" Regulus threw up his hands and began to pace the floor, muttering to himself a recount of everything his father had learned and journaled. "Even if I did know _how_ to destroy it, there's not way to get it."

"You can't exactly walk up the Dark Lord and ask to borrow his jewelry."

"I know that." The boy glared over at his hallucination and started back for the desk. "Maybe I missed something. Maybe my dad found something useful without even realizing. In one of these books he had." He pulled the journal across the desk and started flipping wildly through the pages. "Maybe he still has some of the books."

"Regulus?"

"What?"

"Why do you care?"

Regulus stopped moving and slowly turned towards Anthony. "What kind of question is that?"

"A necessary one. Why do you care about all of this? You could still run away. Just because Barty blew your chance once doesn't mean you're stuck here. They haven't put bars on your windows. You could Apparate out right now if you wanted."

"I...I don't know." He closed over the journal and bit his bottom lip until the familiar metallic taste hit his tongue. "Maybe I just feel...responsible now. My dad did so much work. He's the one who gave me the money and he left me this journal for a reason. Maybe I just..."

"You want to matter? You want to make a difference in this war?"

"Yes."

"So it's time for honesty then?"

Regulus' grey eyes met Anthony's dark blue, his sincerity screaming from them. "Yes."

"Don't you think you're forgetting something then?"

"What's that?"

Anthony looked down at Regulus' hand and laid his own atop it. The sensation was odd, Regulus thought; like being touched by a very cold spiderweb. But the boy did not move his hand away so neither did Anthony. "You're forgetting about your own soul."

"I don't care about my soul," Regulus whispered.

"That isn't true." Anthony leaned closer to the young Black and whispered, "It's time for remorse."

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Wanna start by saying thank you all for the reviews on the last chapter. I didn't have time to reply to all because I'm doing NaNo plus working on this and school work. Gah. But yes, thank you for them! So close to the end. It's harsh. :) –Jenna**


	80. Falling Stars

**Chapter 80: Falling Stars**

**.**

The Dark Lord's shoes were polished so well, Regulus could see his own hollow eyes reflected in them. He'd been kneeling at the man's feet for well into an hour. The other Death Eaters moved around behind him, each stepping forward to present their business to the Dark Lord and leaving again just as quickly. No one paid Regulus any mind. But their lack of address did not mean he couldn't feel their eyes bearing into the back of his head. His muscles were sore from his leaned over position and he could feel himself getting light-headed. Perhaps he shouldn't have skipped breakfast.

"Thank you, Lucius, well done," the Dark Lord called out, his voice only just above a whisper. "I have one other request of you."

"Anything, my Lord," came Lucius Malfoy's dutiful response.

"I require your elf."

"My elf, Sir?" Regulus could hear the hesitation and worry in Malfoy's voice. "When?"

"Tonight." The Dark Lord waved away a man with a fruit tray and leaned towards Malfoy. "Is that a problem?" he asked, his every word a clear challenge.

Malfoy cleared his throat and answered with a shaky voice. "Of course not, my Lord. It's just...Dobby is assisting Narcissa right now. She was feeling ill this morning. There was...blood, Sir. We're afraid that she might have lost the child again." The man's words trailed off into a pained whisper.

"Tragic." There would be no sympathy from Lord Voldemort. "This is your second attempt?"

"Third, Sir."

"Ah." The room fell silent for a moment before the man continued. "Sadly this does not help me with my need for your elf."

"My-my Lord?" Regulus whispered from the floor. He saw the Dark Lord's foot twitch, and for a moment he thought he was going to be kicked, but he stayed steady. "Sorry to interrupt, but I have an elf that you may use." He dared to peek up at the man above him.

"You may go, Lucius." The Dark Lord waited for the other man to leave the room before ordering Regulus to stand. "Regulus...you have been a thorn in my side for quite some time."

"I know, my Lord. I know that I have made mistakes. _Grave_ mistakes. But I'm willing to do anything to fix what I've done. I'll do _anything_ to set things right again." There was no hint of deceit in Regulus' words because the boy was not lying. He had made mistakes. He did want to fix what he'd done wrong. He would do _anything_ to set things right. "I know that I have a lot to prove and a lot to do to correct the wrongs I've committed, but if you'll give me a chance..."

The Dark Lord studied Regulus for a while, their eyes meeting. The man's lips stayed tight and white, his body stayed rigid and his gaze stayed angry. "You have _much_ to do in order to prove yourself again, Regulus. I can sense that the last few weeks have been spent thinking on your actions. I do not know if you will ever be able to regain your honor, but I suppose that your elf is as good as any other." The man waved his hand and turned away from Regulus. "Send it here at exactly at nine o'clock. If that creature is even one minute late..."

"He won't be, my Lord." Regulus gave a slightly overdone bow and backed out of the room.

The moment the boy arrived home that afternoon, Anthony's presence was upon him. He was grateful that at least his own addled mind didn't see fit to torture him when he was anywhere other than his house. Regulus tried to ignore the other boy's stern look as he climbed the stairs and locked himself in his room.

"Kreacher?" Anthony sounded baffled. "You say that you're going to set things right, and you start by offering up your house-elf to _serve_ Him?"

"I am trying to set things right. This will help."

"How? How is this going to help?"

"I...I don't know yet." Regulus pulled off his heavy robes and began to change into something more comfortable. "I just got this feeling. Sometimes, you just know when you should do something, you can't explain it and you can't force it, you just..._know_. And that's what happened. I was sitting there and He said that He needed an elf and my gut told me that it was important."

"What if something happens to Kreacher?"

"I'm not going to let something happen to him. I'll make sure that he's safe." Regulus slipped into his shoes and started back out of his room, only to find his way blocked.

Walburga stood in the boy's doorway, her hand poised to knock. The woman's eyes were tinted with red and her shoulders were hunched, far from her usual proud and elite stature. Behind her, down the hallway, Bellatrix was staring at Sirius' door, her stance nothing short of relaxed boredom. Regulus looked between the women and met his mother's eyes. He didn't dare ask. He didn't have to.

"It's your father," Walburga whispered. "His heart...his...his heart gave out this morning." The woman swallowed back her grief and pursed her lips. "It happened so fast, there was nothing I could -"

"What did you do?" Regulus hissed. He wasn't looking at his mother, but the woman behind her; his cousin. The boy charged around his mother and towards Bellatrix, his father's wand jumping into his hand without effort. "You did this. What did you do?" He pressed the tip of his wand against the woman's throat.

Bellatrix only laughed. "You think I did this? He was a tired old man, with a tired old heart." She slapped her hand against Regulus' wrist and closed her thin fingers around tightly. "And a deceitful old man at that," she sneered, her grey eyes falling onto the wand as she pulled it away from her throat.

Regulus jerked his hand away from his cousin's cold grip and pointed his wand again.

Bellatrix didn't even bother drawing her own. "Trust me, I would have liked to teach that man a proper lesson, but sadly -" her lips pulled into a twisted smile "- his own body beat me to it. You're wasting your anger on me." The woman tossed her hair over her shoulder and turned her back on Regulus, not even phased or afraid that he would strike her as she descended the stairs.

"That's your father's wand." Walburga caught Regulus' attention, pulling him away from his thoughts of curses and violence. The woman slowly moved towards her son, her eyes never leaving the wand in his hand. "He...gave you his wand? And told me that it was damaged."

"He didn't want to involve you. He was just trying to protect you from knowing what he'd done." Regulus didn't know if that was true, but a part of him hoped it was.

Walburga's hand laid on her son's shoulder for a mere moment's embrace before it was gone again. "You are the only one who I can count on, Regulus. Cygnus is coming by tonight to discuss the...details. I know nothing of sorting out these matters. He handled our father's business when he passed, he can handle Orion's as well." With every word the woman spoke, her voice grew more steady. She slowly resumed her stiffened form, her head held high with the pride her blood afforded her. "I'll have Kreacher make you a cup of tea. I want you there tonight with your uncle."

Regulus only nodded. He did not want to help his uncle sort through his father's _business_. Truth was, he didn't want Cygnus Black anywhere near his father's things. He didn't want that man in his father's study, he didn't want that man touching his father's books, he didn't want that man in his house at all. "I can't let him in there," the boy whispered.

He bolted down the stairs, Anthony right on his heels. Regulus was thrown to find his father's study unlocked, but he didn't take the time to ponder on it. Standing in the middle of the room, holding a beaten, old, leather bound book, was Bellatrix. "What the hell are you doing in here?" he shouted. He lunged for his cousin, striking the book from her hands and knocking it to the ground. "Get out!"

"Watch it, boy," Bellatrix snapped. Her entire body tensed with anger. "You don't give me orders."

"Get out of my father's study."

"Your father is dead, this doesn't belong to him anymore."

The taunting chime in Bellatrix's words made Regulus see red. "Then this is _my_ study, as his rightful heir, and I want you out of it!"

"Regulus," came Anthony's even and pleading voice from beside him. "Calm down, you know that you can't fight her. You can't win."

"Don't tell me to calm down. I want her out of here," Regulus argued.

Bellatrix's eyes widened in a flash. "I'm not leaving. I already told you, I don't take orders from you."

"My father might have been afraid to toss you out, but this is my house now. I protect it. And that starts with getting _you_ out of this room and away from my father's things."

"Regulus, just calm down," Anthony pleaded again as Regulus drew his wand.

"Stop telling me to calm down!"

Bellatrix took a step back and tilted her head at her cousin. "Maybe Crouch was right, you have gone mental." A soft laugh broke from her lips before she continued in a teasing, baby voice. "Is little Regulus having trouble with reality?"

"_Confringo_!"

A bolt of light shot from Regulus' wand, headed straight for his cousin's head. Bellatrix was quick; she drew her wand and sent up a shield with only a fraction of a second to spare. The spell hit the woman's shield and slammed into a bookshelf beside her. Instantly, the shelf went up in flames, crackling filled the room as the old wood suffered under the heat.

"Regulus stop!" Anthony shouted. He grabbed at the boy's hand, but of course, merely went through him. "You'll burn your father's books!"

"I'd rather see them all burn than in her hands." Regulus gritted his teeth and sent another blasting curse towards his cousin.

Bellatrix swatted it away like a pesky fly, sending it straight into Orion's book covered chair. The chair exploded from the strength of the curse; bits of book and charred wood flew at Regulus and left a scattering of burns over the side of his robes.

"Put down your wand, you foolish child! You'll burn the house down." Bellatrix's wand cut across the air, but she didn't need to speak to make magic.

Regulus deflected whatever his cousin had sent towards him, he tried not to dwell on what it could have been, but its force against his shield knocked him back into the wall. "What's wrong? Can't take a little heat?" he taunted. The boy raised his wand, ready to strike again, but he didn't need to.

Bellatrix's body ran rigid, her arms snapped to her sides and she toppled over into the floor, straight as a board.

"Not in my house!" Walburga stood behind her son, wand still pointed at Bellatrix. "Kreacher, put it out!" She gestured wildly towards the burning bookshelf and eyed both Regulus and Bellatrix. "I'm going to let you go and you're going to shut your mouth, get out of this room and stop this ridiculous fighting! We are family! And you two will act like it!" The woman's face was flushed in red. She released her hold off Bellatrix and stormed out of the study.

Regulus sneered over at his cousin before silently following his mother out of the room.

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Sorry for the wait on this chapter. Since I just finished finals week, everything is slowing down for me until the new year. I only have 2 more chapters after this one, so unless something goes majorly wrong, the story will be finished by Christmas. Now for this chapter, Orion is gone :'( and Regulus is trying to deal as best he can. Just for record, this chapter officially dates: January 25. I always hate trying to cram an actual date into the chapter, it looks forced. Anyways, thank you so much for reading! :) –Jenna**

**Side Note: If you're reading my other stories, I'm going to finish this one off before updating those, so it'll be a little wait.**


	81. To the Dark Lord

**Chapter 81: To the Dark Lord**

**.**

Regulus was exhausted by the time his Uncle Cygnus left the house. It was only a little after eight o'clock, but he was exhausted none-the-less. He'd never realized how tiring it could be to cooperate. The last thing Regulus wanted to do was sit down with his uncle and sort through his father's paperwork. Bank account matters, land ownership, the deed to the house...Regulus didn't understand why it had to be done so quickly. His father wasn't even in the ground yet; was barely even cold.

But Regulus had plans that night, or Kreacher did to be more precise. He knew that the more cooperative he was with Cygnus, the faster the man would leave his home and leave him to his business. With his mother gone to bed earlier that night, the house was silent. Regulus collected himself at the door and went into the kitchen to call upon his house-elf.

"Kreacher, come here," he called out as he stepped into the kitchen and spotted the elf at the sink.

At once, Kreacher dried his hands and hurried over to his young master, offering up a small bow. "Yes, Master Regulus? Can Kreacher bring you some tea?"

"That won't be necessary, I have another job for you."

Kreacher's ears twitched with wonder; his large eyes peered up at Regulus.

"Regulus wait..." Anthony appeared at the boy's side and looked down on him with a worried gaze. "Are you sure you want to do this? If Kreacher gets hurt, you'll -"

"Enough." Regulus put up his hand and silenced his own doubts. "I won't change my mind. I must send him." He spoke with such force that the elf recoiled, clearly confused as to who Regulus was speaking to. "Kreacher, I wasn't yelling at you," he told the elf quickly. "Stand up straight, this is important."

The tiny elf righted himself and looked all around the kitchen without any attempt at hiding it. "Who _are_ you speaking to, Master Regulus?" he whispered.

"That...that's none of your concern." Regulus looked up and met Anthony's eyes. The deep blue was just as he remembered it. But where the boy's eyes had once brought him hope and happiness, now they seemed to only judge and condemn him. "This has to be done."

"You are sending him to his death," Anthony argued.

"I'm not! I will _not_ let-him-die!" Regulus' hands tightened with every word he shouted. "No one will die for me. No one else will die _because_ of me."

"Kreacher should make Master Regulus some tea," the elf squeaked. "It is late, he has had a long day, perhaps a good night's rest will do him some good."

"No." Regulus grabbed Kreacher gently by his arm and spun the elf around. "I don't want any bloody tea, I have a job for you." He looked up at Anthony long enough to add, "Not another word out of you. This is going to happen." The boy took a deep breath and got down on one knee in front of Kreacher. "You're going to leave tonight."

"Leave the house?" the elf whispered, his voice shaky. Kreacher hadn't left the house in all the time Regulus could remember, Walburga didn't approve of it.

Regulus nodded and waited for the elf to steady his worry. "You are going to go to the Dark Lord. He has a...task for you. I am not sure _what_ he wants you to do, but you will obey him as though this family's entire life depended on it." He didn't mention that it very well did; any defiance from their elf would surely seal the fate of everyone who bore the name _Black_.

Kreacher wrung his little hands together and nodded obediently. "Kreacher will serve the Dark Lord well." His feet shifted with worry, but when Regulus touched his shoulder, his doubts seemed to ease.

"When the Dark Lord has left your side, when your duties to him are finished, you are to return to me; do you hear?" Regulus stared hard into Kreacher's eyes, his every word a direct, indisputable order. "I do not care what you are doing, where you are, who is around to see it, you will come straight back here. Is that clear, Kreacher?"

"Yes, Master Regulus," the elf answered.

The boy patted his elf's shoulder and got to his feet. "I think I'll have that cup of tea before you go," he offered. Perhaps a little normalcy would help Kreacher deal with the massive task before him. He took a seat at the table and laid his chin on it, watching the elf scuttle around the kitchen to make his tea. Once the cup was placed before him, Regulus gave Kreacher directions to find the Dark Lord and made it very clear that he was not to be even a moment late.

Watching Kreacher Disapparate from the kitchen made Regulus' stomach turn. He stared down into his tea and watched as the ripples faded away. "What am I even doing?" he whispered, his eyes moving up to meet Anthony's across the table. "Wouldn't it be better if I just ran away? What good could I possibly do against Him?" He rubbed his hands down his face and pushed the tea from his sight. "Why am I doing this?"

"The Dark Lord has taken _everything_ from you, Regulus." Anthony leaned closer to the young Black and spoke slowly. "Your brother left this house because of what He did to your family, the influence he cast over _all_ of you. He took away your best friend; Topher ran away and you saw how much good that did him. Do you think things would be the same for him if there was no Dark Lord?"

Regulus leaned back into his chair and stayed silent, his eyes pleading for Anthony to go on.

"He took your education; you can't even finish school because of the things he ordered you to do. He took me away, he took Barty away, he took away any chance you had to be with your child, Regulus!" Anthony curled his hands into fists and moved from across the table to stand directly beside Regulus in an instant. "He tore apart your very soul. You cannot just sit idly by and watch him continue to reap damage upon everyone in his path."

"What can I do? I'm just...I'm not powerful enough to go up against him, I'm not smart enough to play some kind of double agent, I'm not anything." Regulus pulled his fingers back through his hair and stared at the table. "I don't even know what to do."

"You'll figure it out," Anthony whispered. "You'll figure it out."

"And what if I don't? What if I just end up making things worse?" The boy got to his feet and started pacing the kitchen. His eyes darted to the clock every other minute, the time dragging on endlessly. He tried to keep his mind busy so he wouldn't think about the task Kreacher was on. He spent half an hour going through his father's old books before being in the man's study proved too much for him to handle and he retreated back to the kitchen to resume his pacing.

All the while, Anthony sat, if you could call it sitting, at the table, regurgitating Regulus' every thought aloud to him. For a while it was bothersome, but Regulus soon found it comforting because it made him feel less alone while he awaited the return of his ever loyal house-elf.

A loud _crack_ shot through the kitchen, sending chills down Regulus' spine. "Kreacher?" He spun around in place and widened his eyes at the sight.

The small house-elf collapsed against the kitchen table, knocking several chairs into the floor and causing the untouched cup of tea to spill out. The creature was doubled over, his hands around his throat, gasping loudly for air. And he was wet. The cloth Kreacher wore dripped water onto the floor below him. "Ma-ma..." The elf couldn't speak through his gasps.

"Don't talk; just calm down," Regulus insisted. He dropped to his knees beside Kreacher and began thrusting his hand against the elf's back to help clear his airway of water. He waited beside the elf until all signs of struggle faded away and the creature could breathe properly again. "What happened? Why are you wet? Were you under the water?"

Kreacher nodded slowly and kept his large eyes on the floor. "Kreacher saw such...awful things, Master Regulus. So...awful. Say Kreacher does not have to go back, Sir. Please say that Kreacher will never go back to that place..." The elf's body shook so hard he nearly collapsed into the floor.

"Just tell me what happened, Kreacher. Tell me everything from the moment you made contact with the Dark Lord."

"Such awful things," the elf whispered again. "The...the Dark Lord took Kreacher to the water, Master Regulus. So much water...every direction you turned. And it was so cold."

"But where, Kreacher? Where did you go? Where did he take you!" Regulus grabbed the elf's shoulders and forced him to look up. "I need to know everything."

The house-elf nodded solemnly and collected his courage. Because it was what his Master wished of him, Kreacher spoke clearly and confidently. He described everything in as much detail as he possibly could... The trip to the concealed cave. The blood smeared upon the wall. The boat hidden in the darkness. The journey across the blackened lake. The locket. The eerie potion...

"Enough." Regulus put his hands to his face and turned his back on Kreacher. "This potion...he made you drink it?"

"Yes, Master Regulus. Every drop. There were voices," the elf whispered, his large eyes darting around the room as though he was once again hearing them. "And Kreacher saw -"

"No. Say no more." The boy waved his hand, instantly silencing the elf. "What happened _after_ you drank the potion?"

"The Dark Lord...He left. Kreacher was so thirsty, but the Dark Lord did not come to Kreacher's pleas. The water was so close, but there were things in there, horrible things, Master Regulus. So cold."

"He left you there? He just got up and _left_ you there to die!" Regulus slammed his hands into the table and screamed out in frustration. "What was in the water?"

"Bodies, Sir." The elf shuddered and dropped to his knees, his bony fingers wringing the last of the water from his cloth. "They grabbed Kreacher and pulled him under, but Master Regulus said to return to him and Kreacher did as he was told." His eyes sought out approval in his Master.

Regulus gave the elf a nod and straightened himself out. "Kreacher, I want you to go into your space and not come out. Do you understand me? You stay hidden away until I come back for you. And especially do _not_ come out if you hear the Dark Lord in this house, is that clear?" Once the elf agreed and tucked away out of sight, Regulus set out for his bedroom.

"So you believe he's hidden the locket in that...potion?" Anthony voiced as he trailed Regulus up the stairs. "And what do you plan on doing with all of this information? Because if you're thinking of going after that Horcrux then you're -"

"- insane? I think we've crossed that bridge already considering who I'm talking to." Regulus cut his eyes back towards Anthony and stopped just outside of his brother's doorway. "If I could get that Horcrux and destroy it, I could do some good. Some actual good. I might not be taking down the Dark Lord myself, but it'll mean that one day someone else _can_."

"You've stopped," Anthony whispered, his eyes moving up to the nameplate on Sirius' bedroom door.

"I just..." The boy looked away from his companion and laid his hand on the doorknob. "I locked this three years ago. No one's touched it since." He unlocked the door with a simple flick of his wand and slowly pushed the door open. The light from the hallway cast a soft glow over a portion of Sirius' bedroom. Regulus put one tentative step into his brother's room and let his eyes roam over the dust covered furnishings. "I just want to...I don't know. Maybe...sit for a moment." The boy stepped further into the bedroom and lifted a framed photo from his brother's nightstand. He couldn't see the image through the dust, but he knew very well what it was. It was a memory of how things used to be...

* * *

**A Note From the Author: Alright, this is where I direct you all back to chapter one. This scene ends off right where chapter one began. So, I urge you to go back and reread that tiny Prologue that set up the very beginning of Haunted. I think it's pretty clear by now that the mystery-male-voice is Anthony -via Regulus' haunted mind- and you should reread it as such. The next chapter (which is the _final_ chapter) will pick up where that Prologue ended and finish off the story. I thank you for sticking with me this far and I truly hope that the ending doesn't disappoint. Thank you all for your reads and your reviews and for making this one worthwhile journey! :) –Jenna**


	82. RAB

**Chapter 82: R.A.B.**

**.**

Regulus startled awake at the sound of his name being yelled. The boy sat upright and groaned at the stiffness in his back. "Where...?" He pulled his hands over his face and blinked away the grogginess. It took a moment for him to realize where he was; he'd fallen asleep on his brother's bed the night before, his robes and shoes still on.

"Regulus? Don't make me come up there!"

Walburga's scream shot up the stairs, making Regulus jump to his feet and hurry out of the bedroom. He waved his wand at the door as he bolted down the stairs, forcing it to shut and lock once more. "Yes? What? I'm up, I'm right here." He cleared his throat and came to a stop in front of his mother at the foot of the staircase.

"I didn't realize you were already dressed," his mother said in a tone so casual you wouldn't have known she'd been screaming moments before that. She clearly mistook Regulus' clothes for new rather than slept in, a sign that she wasn't paying much attention to him considering how wrinkled they were.

Regulus merely nodded and awaited the reason he'd been called.

"Your uncle will be here to collect you in about fifteen minutes," the woman continued as she pulled on her long gloves. "He's going to take you to...well there is much to be done where your father is concerned. I am going to the shop, I do not know what time I'll be home but I expect dinner ready promptly at six. So if you see that blasted elf around, pass along the message, won't you?"

"Yes, ma'am," Regulus answered before turning and dashing back up the stairs to properly change before his uncle arrived. He was torn: on the one hand he was grateful that Kreacher had done as he was told and stayed hidden, but on the other hand, he worried that his mother might see fit to punish the elf upon finally finding him. He could only hope that there would be more pressing matters to take her attention when that time came.

"What sort of matters do you think you'll be attending to?" Anthony was on Regulus the moment the boy walked into his bedroom.

"If I knew, you wouldn't be asking," Regulus sighed. He was far too used to Anthony's presence and it was beginning to irk him. "Honestly, I thought you'd be gone by now."

"Gone?"

"Yes, gone. I've decided what I'm going to do about the Dark Lord. I thought that was why you were...hovering." Regulus fought with the buttons on his shirt so hard he popped one off. "Damn it," he muttered, dragging the shirt back off his shoulders. "I just...things would be easier if you weren't around anymore."

"Clearly you still need me or I wouldn't still be here, Regulus."

"I don't need you. I can take care of myself."

"You're not ready for what's going to come."

"I _am_ ready. I made my choice and I'm not going to go back on it." Regulus pulled on a new shirt and watched his reflection as he carefully buttoned it up and tucked it into his trousers.

"So you're ready to die?"

The boy's blood ran cold at Anthony's words and his arms dropped to his sides. "Can anyone ever really be _ready_ to die?"

"I certainly wasn't."

"Maybe you...maybe _Anthony_ should have considered that before getting mixed up with me to begin with." Regulus pursed his lips and shoved his feet into his shoes. "I'm done. I'm not talking to you like you're...real. You aren't real. You aren't him. This is madness." The sound of the doorbell caught the boy's attention and pulled his gaze away. "I don't need you." He tore out of his room and down the stairs to answer the door before Kreacher became too tempted to leave his hiding place.

"Regulus...you look horrible." Cygnus Black stood at the door, looking down his nose at his nephew with a haughty expression on his face.

"It's nice to see you too, Uncle." Regulus didn't spare on the sarcasm.

"I mean that in the most respectful way possible, Regulus. You simply look tired."

"I _am_ tired," the boy answered. "Why are you here? What are we doing?"

"We have a funeral service to arrange." Cygnus eyed his nephew and quirked a brow. "Are you feeling alright? You're not going to get sick are you? You know, Regulus, you're the man of this house now, it's about time you start acting like it. You cannot keep on with your juvenile behaviours."

Regulus bit his tongue and summoned his coat from his room. He silently followed the man out of the house and the two made their way down the pavement. Despite having to spend the better part of the day with Cygnus, and despite the nature of their outing, Regulus felt good to get out of the house for a while. The fresh air was relaxing and since Cygnus wasn't one for idle conversation, he had plenty of time with his own thoughts throughout the day.

His brother was on the forefront of Regulus' mind. He went back and forth with himself over whether he should send word to him about their father's death. Would Sirius come to the funeral? Would Sirius even care? Would Sirius even read a letter if it were addressed from Regulus?

And then he wondered...did he want Sirius to come to their father's funeral? The last time he'd properly seen his brother, he was trying to murder him. Certainly Sirius would not be in the best of spirits if they were to speak again. With both their tempers, things were likely to get out of hand.

No, he couldn't count on their father's death to mend the rift that lay between the brothers. He couldn't expect anything to change how Sirius felt about him. Deep down, he didn't feel like it mattered anymore. What difference did it make if his brother hated him? Soon enough, Regulus would be gone.

"If your mother is feeling up to it, you can discuss the service plans with her tonight," Cygnus boomed, pulling Regulus from his private musings as the two approached the Black home once more. "Do not bother her if she does not seem like she can handle it." The man passed over a large parcel to Regulus and looked to the sky. "She should be home by now, I would imagine."

Regulus glanced at his watch, one more painful reminder of the man who no longer walked the halls at night. It was only a quarter after two, but Walburga wasn't one to stay at the shops all day. "I'm sure she's home already," he told the man. "My mother is a lot stronger than you think. You keep talking about her like she's going to have a break over this."

"I think I would know my sister better than you," the man argued.

"You might know her, but that doesn't mean you aren't capable of underestimating her." Regulus straightened up and stared into his uncle's eyes defiantly. "I think you're just one person in a long line of fools who underestimate the members of this family." Cygnus' gaze flashed with anger, but the boy did not give him a chance to speak. "You thought my father was a coward because he chose to protect his home, our family. But you're wrong; my father was a far braver man than you. And my mother...she might not be herself right now, but when this passes, she'll be twice as strong."

"And your treacherous brother?" Cygnus spat. "What have you to say about him?"

"Sirius has that rare strain of common sense that you don't often find in us Blacks. You know...it's the same sense that Andromeda had."

At the sound of his daughter's name, Cygnus puffed up and curled his hands into fists. "You have a traitor's tongue, just like your father, just like your brother. And you will find it cut out by the Dark Lord himself for your pathetic insolence," the man growled.

"There is only one thing I fear, Uncle, and it is not death." Regulus shifted the parcel in his arms and made sure his left hand was free in case the man decided to attack. "I've been death's dealer far too many times to fear it any longer." With one last glance at his dumbstruck uncle, the boy turned into his home and slammed the door behind him.

"You're stacking your enemies awfully high," Anthony warned the moment the door was closed.

Regulus sighed at the voice and refused to look at him directly. "I can handle it. It won't matter soon," he whispered as he placed the package on the table by the door. "Is my mother home?" He instantly frowned at his own stupid question and walked away before Anthony could call him on it.

Walburga was on her knees in the kitchen floor, her head shoved into a cabinet as far as possible. Regulus near laughed at the sight, but had enough sense to hold it in. The woman cursed under her breath and withdrew her person from the cabinet, shaking out her hair as she did so. She cried out in shock when she spotted her son and held out her hand with expectation of being helped up.

"I cannot find Kreacher," she answered to her son's questioning look once she was on her feet. "I thought he might have curled up inside a cabinet and died, but I do not see a body." She smoothed her hands down her robes and lifted her head.

"Kreacher's busy," Regulus told her. "I have him doing something for me. I should have told you earlier, but I...forgot." He put on some tea for the both of them while his mother took a seat at the table. "There's a package by the door for you. I wasn't sure where you would want it."

"Put it on the end of my bed," the woman told him with a dismissive tone. She pulled over the cup of tea that her son placed before her, but made no effort to drink it. "You will be finished with Kreacher by six, I presume? I really do not want to serve dinner any later than that."

"Yes, he'll be finished by then." Regulus wanted to say more as he stood there, watching his mother stare down into her tea. But he simply nodded to the woman and went to do as she asked of him.

Regulus was only four the last time he had been inside his mother's bedroom, but it was exactly as he remembered it. The fact that his parents had separate rooms never struck him as odd, even as he got older and learned how most couples lived. It was always just the way his family worked. A smile threatened his lips as he placed his mother's package on the end of her bed. The memories of he and Sirius bouncing around in the room seeped into his thoughts.

That was before Sirius started developing ideas of his own, before Sirius started interacting with Muggles, before Sirius started to become a _disgrace to their name_. It frustrated Walburga to no end when her sons would run around her bedroom, laughing and shoving each other, but the woman had never removed them. Regulus didn't know why they stopped being allowed inside, but he remembered it was when his mother fell ill for several months and his father began to drink more at night.

A small flash caught the boy's eyes as he turned to leave the room; Walburga's jewelry box was propped open on her dresser. Regulus ran his fingertips down the chains of several elaborate necklaces and pulled one closer to see. It was a heavy locket with tarnished edges and a cloudy amber gem.

"Adding theft to your list of crimes?" Anthony chided.

"I don't think they'll be pitching me in Azkaban for pilfering my mother's jewelry," Regulus replied while removing the locket from its hook. He slipped it into his pocket and pulled the door closed behind him. Instead of going back to the kitchen where his mother still sat, he headed up to his room.

He felt under-dressed. The boy tugged at the hem of his shirt and frowned. "What does one wear to die?" he questioned aloud.

"It doesn't have to be death," Anthony pointed out. "Kreacher could easily get you both out of that cave. There's no reason you have to stay and die."

"He could. But then what? Go on the run with a bit of the Dark Lord's soul in my pocket?" Regulus shook his head and laid his mother's locket on his desk. "It's like you said before, my enemies aren't sparse and any one of them would be more than pleased to hand me over like a stuffed goose. And if the Dark Lord found his Horcrux on me, he'd just take it back and everything I've done will be for naught." The boy licked his dry, cracked lips and added, "_Then_ he'd kill me himself."

"When are you going?"

"Now." Regulus pulled out a sheet of parchment and prepared a quill. "Mum wants Kreacher home by six to prepare dinner. And if I wait any longer...I might not have the courage to do it." He let out a heavy sigh and bent over his parchment.

"Telling your brother goodbye? Sending a letter to your son?" Anthony peered over Regulus' shoulder, which was quite obnoxious considering he did not need to.

"No," Regulus answered. "I'm leaving a letter for the only person who needs to know what I've done. The rest of the world can think of me as a lousy Death Eater or a traitor, I don't really care what anyone believes after I'm gone, but _He_ will know that he went too far. He will know that even in death, I remained that thorn in his side." The boy huffed a laugh under his breath and put quill to parchment.

**To the Dark Lord  
****I know I will be long dead before you read this  
****but I want you to know it was I who discovered your secret.  
****I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can.  
****I face death in the hope that when you meet your match,  
****you will be mortal once more.  
****R.A.B.**

** The end.**

* * *

**A Note From the Author: And the rest is history. Thank you all so much for reading; you have no idea how much I appreciate the continued support of every single one you. I will certainly miss Regulus and everything about Haunted. –Jenna**


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